Lychee_02

Once, I was told, “Trust in Destiny, believe in what she tells you.” What a joke that turned out to be. Destiny has only ever brought ruin.
Six full moons have passed since I lost everything—six moons that have come and gone, indifferent to my suffering. They leave me behind, walk past me as if I no longer exist, as if I’m already forgotten. I’ve disappointed them, failed them, and I am powerless to ask them to stay. Who knew a voice could give up on you so easily? It’s pitiful. I am pitiful. Once, I was loved by all, and in turn, I loved so deeply it hurt. That love is a distant memory now, a phantom pain that refuses to fade. I still love, though it only brings more pain, more regret. I pray, even now, for someone—anyone—to love me again, to love me so fiercely that I can forget the pain I caused my people.

“Lilac eyes,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart. “Your name is..."

"Elayne."

Destiny Tells

Here, losing myself in the emptiness of the landscape in front of me, I'm starting to lose hope in Caelestis coming back. Every time I try to ask Nicia, she changes the subject, or pretends she can't understand. I haven't seen him in a month now, a month since he brought me here. I'm starting to think that he brought me here knowing I'd be in good hands, and he wouldn't have to worry about me.

Even though I've been here for a while, I still get the same stares as I did first coming here.

Back in the district, the way the soldiers studied me, analysed me; they sent a chill down my spine. The uncertain possibility of my identity suddenly being exposed, terrified me, but I was more afraid of my emotions getting the best of me. I fear myself in such a way, I can't trust my steps, nor the glances I make, because what if, I make eye contact with someone, and they see my eyes.

I would be killed within the second.

In the chance, Kallias did indeed send out word for me…

It's only a matter of time before they reach me here. It's only a matter of time until they raid this oasis, until it's drowned in blood, until it's dried to it's guts. There's only so far one can run in this abyss, but there aren't any corners to be backed into. This life is an infinite tragedy. Everything I look up, I wish I had just a glimpse of insight into the future. Ever since that night, the words Caelestis whispered, and his eyes that were ever so slightly illuminated by the moonlight, I pray to hear those words again. Ever since he left, I've prayed to hear his destiny.

Chapter 16