Chapter 18: Rock and a hard place

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Anna's POV:

My lips were slightly parted while I stared at Edward's concerned face, struggling with what he had told me. I was too stunned and shocked to be able to push the words out of my mouth that were thundering through my mind.

While anger started to boil inside of me, burning all the shock away that had overtaken my body Edward was watching me intensely, waiting for me to blow up like a nuclear bomb.

Oooooo oh! My subconscious was looking panicked for a place to hide.

I took a couple of deep breaths while I sat there nearly as still as he was capable of and tried desperately to see through the red haze before my eyes.

3…..2…..1….Duck and cover! My subconscious screamed and threw herself behind the massive couch, seeking refuge.

"You have got to be freaking kidding me here!" I screamed at him while I suddenly jumped off the bed.

Edward jerked a little away in surprise and his eyes widened when he took my, with fury shaking, frame in.

"Not only did she steal everything I had, even my own parents, only to throw everything away in the end because it was suddenly not good enough for that family stealing witch anymore while I had to face one life threatening situation after another, had been thrown into a funny farm, had to deal with the gossip and all the looks everyone at school was giving me and not to forget you and Jake," I ranted the list of events down.

Edward gazed with an understanding but also helplessness at me. He opened his mouth in an attempt to say something but in the end not a sound left his lips.

"I will never see my mom again or anyone else I had ever known and you are telling me that I have to live with the monster who is responsible for all my pain, loss and misery under one roof?" My voice rose with each word while I glared down at him.

In the back of my mind I knew that I was shooting the innocent messenger, so to say, but I was too pissed to care.

Edward said nothing and I shook my head before I started to angrily pace around the room, clenching and unclenching my fists as I was trembling with fury that I had no idea how to express.

There was this blood thirsty rage inside of me that suddenly ruled my body, burning everything inside of me with it's intensity.

"Anna," Edward's velvet voice asked carefully.

"What?" I turned around sharply and growled at him.

He winced when my eyes blazed at him.

My head started pounding with the infuriation I felt and I stormed with heavy footfall into Edward's direction, coming to a stop a few inches in front of him.

"I want to throttle her. I want to put my hands on her neck and squeeze until she won't breath anymore. I want her to suffer. I want her to burn in hell like she deserves." I cried in helpless desperation.

Edward slowly lifted his hands up, to show me that me meant me no harm, and gazed with sympathy, concern and care at me.

"If you put me on the same kitchen table as her I will grab the closest knife and push it through her none existent heart." I was so pissed that it left me short on breath, my chest was heaving painfully and I almost chocked trying to get air into my lungs while I was shaking violently.

Before I knew what was happening I was engulfed in Edward's embrace and he was stroking my hair trying to comfort me. At first I struggled and demanded of him to let me go but he didn't.

After a while my strength left me and my breathing as well as my heart beat returned to normal but I was still furious as Edward guided me back onto the bed.

I sat rigidly on the mattress, my teeth were clenched together and my fingers were intertwined and pressed together so strong that it hurt. I took a final deep breath before turned to look at the Vampire beside me.

His body was tense, awaiting my next words.

"I will never…" I spat.

He swallowed and nodded but didn't trust and was a little fearful of the sudden icy clam I was displaying. He had right to be because inside I was still boiling with rage and hate for her.

Moments of silence past between us before my curiosity got the better of me.

"But if I'm Charlie's daughter in this new constellation where does he think I am?" I wondered in a much calmer voice.

I hated her with passion which was just but Charlie had always been good to me.

"He knows you are here."

"In the same house as you?" I asked incredulously.

He looked intensely at me before he explained.

"Well, he believes you have the chickenpox."

Huh? Was the clever remark of my subconscious.

I stared dumbly at him.

"We had to come up with something," he shrugged, "since Carlisle had treaded Charlie before he had seen his medical file and knew that Charlie never had chickenpox. As you might know this illness can be lethal for adults."

"And Charlie just believed you?"

"He went up here to see you," he looked sheepish then, "Alice did an amazing body painting job," I rolled my eyes, "because of the chickenpox you also don't need to go to school for the next two weeks."

I nodded and sighed.

"Charlie was not happy about having to leave you here and he is expecting a call."

"Right." I mumbled and got lost in my thoughts for a moment.

I was still irritated but I needed some of the questions that had invaded my mind despite my despite my livid state answered.

"Since I do have an existence here do you know if I have a job. I need to find a place to live."

"You could just stay." He blurted out.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"She'll be coming here. Ain't a good idea." I crossed my arms over my chest and pursed my lips.

Edward looked down on his lap and drove his hands through his hair.

"What?" I sighed.

"I haven't talked to her yet," his voice sounded tired and worn all of the sudden.

"Why not?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

He inhaled deeply.

"Everything is a mess." He sighed and shook his head before he waved his hands through his brown locks, looking pained, lost and exhausted.

I waited for him to elaborate but instead of an explanation I heard someone knocked on the door.

Edward looked up at me as if silently asking me if it was OK that whoever knocked entered.

"Come in," I called and the door opened revealing Esme and behind her Carlisle.

Esme smiled sympathetically and warmly at me while Carlisle wore a careful smile on his lips.

Edward must have really told them everything. My subconscious noted staggered.

"Hello my dear, how are you feeling?" Esme asked me softly as she came to a halt a few feet away from me.

"No idea really," I shrugged because for the life of me I couldn't put the mess I felt into words.

She smile in understanding and nodded at me.

"Hello Anna it is nice to meet you." Carlisle said cautiously from behind his wife.

I frowned at him.

"You don't need to be scared of me. It's not like I would bit your head off." Carlisle's face was priceless and I heard a booming laughter ring through the house from downstairs.

The patriarch of the Cullen family stepped from behind his wife and looked directly at me with an apologetic expression on his face.

"I would like to apologise for the wrong I committed against you."

I gazed for a long moment at him. There were two options I had. I could still be mad at him for hauling me off into a white, padded room or I could take the high road and be a bigger person.

I looked at him again and saw in his eyes that he was truly sorry for what his other time line self did.

I sighed and I reached my hand out. At some point I had to grow up.

"As long as you don't throw me into a funny farm again." I told him while I looked at him through narrowed eyes.

Carlisle nodded, smiled and shook my hand.

"Thank you."

When we let go Esme wrapped her arm around her husband's waist and smiled brilliantly at him before turning to face me.

"You must be hungry. You haven't eaten in five days." She said and as if on cue my stomach agreed with her.

"Guess that was a yes," I bit the inside of my lip and shrugged.

Once we arrived downstairs, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were waiting in the living room. Emmett and Alice beamed at me while Rosalie was looking wary and Jasper wore basically a neutral expression.

"I'm Alice," she said as she danced to my side.

"Yeah, I kind of know that." I murmured awkwardly.

"It's weird to be on the other side." She mumbled as she looked curiously at me.

I shrugged.

"So I get to do your hair after we got something into your tummy."

"If you want to." She beamed at me and grabbed my arm leading me into the dinning room where a set of dishes was already waiting for me.

"I hope you like pasta." Esme asked as she brought a plate with yummy smelling pasta with meant balls and a mushroom sauce.

"Yes, thank you." I replied and dug in.

While I was filling my empty belly I wondered what I would do next because I had no plan.

There nothing much I could do besides to go with the happenings of the books anyway. And in a way that was a good thing, dealing with Vicy, going to school because it was a routine to me that I had to do it the second time around.

That way I would have time to figure out what to do next, what to do about my future, without actually having to think what I was doing in the present.

"Actually what about the Wolves?" I asked as I was sipping on my soda.

Edward sighed.

"Bella," I scowled at him as he said her name. I really hated her. "She told Jacob everything. We had a meeting with Jacob Black and Sam Uley yesterday. We explained the situation to them."

I nodded.

"They want to meet you when you feel up to it." He then added quietly.

"With my luck one of them ends up imprinting on me. No thanks." I shook my head and huffed.

"You think?" Edward asked as his head shot up and he looked with wide eyes at me.

"No, we met them already remember."

"Man, why do I always miss all the fun?" Emmett asked appearing out of thin air.

"I hope that there are enough newborns for me to have fun with?" He titled his head to his left and had a dimly smile on his face.

"Don't worry there are." I assured and he laughed.

"I'm great, aren't I?" He asked me as he sat down on the free chair next to me referring to the fact that I had pointed him out as one of my favourite Twilight characters.

"The greatest." I replied with thick sarcasm ringing in my voice.

He gave me a dimply pout.

"Poor Rosalie." I sighed.

"What? Why?" His eyebrows rammed into his hairline in confusion.

"Well the poor girl has no chance against those damn dimples."

Edward snorted and Emmett laughter boomed through the entire house making the windows vibrate. It was fascinating to watch.

"Did he ever break a window with his laughter?" I asked Alice who suddenly appeared next to me and rolled her eyes at her brother.

"Many windows lost their lives to him." She shook her head sadly. "But not in that way."

I gave her a small smile and watched as she and Emmett argued while sipping the rest of my soda.

Edward's POV:

I heard Anna's breathing and heart beat slow down as she fell asleep again.

I sighed while I reflected over what had occurred only hours ago. Though I hated to upset her it was easier to watch her eyes burn with anger then to watch her being broken and defeated.

No matter how hard she tried to be strong and appear to be OK to the outside world the weight of the loss she had to endure was plainly visible on her face, in her voice and in her beautiful but deeply pained and sad hazel pools.

"She is nice." Alice said sitting down next to me on the couch in the living room.

"Despite what happened her pure heart always showed in her actions. Even though she was angry with me she always cared." I mused with a small, sad smile on my face, remembering our time together.

"I can't see what will happen to her Edward. Anna's mind is all over the place and so are my visions about her." She answered my question without me even needing to ask.

I sighed heavily and nodded.

"You know I don't want to push you but you better have gathered your thought by now because Bella will be here in about five minutes." My pixie sister warned me and I sighed once more.

I still had no idea what to do. Up until Anna walked into my life Bella had been the only one for me. She was my everything and I did still love her but…..

Back in the other reality I didn't believe Anna when she was telling me that she was not Bella. I thought Bella was confused and was scared to let me in again and that that was the reason why she, the other personality, Anna, was around.

First I was in pursuit of Anna because I thought that if I would be able to make her trust me Bella would come back to me but my logic had a failure. I figured that out quickly because the more I got to know Anna the more I started to like the new personality that I though of being a part of Bella.

I liked it that I had to fight for Anna's attention and that she was throwing me constantly for a loop. It made me want her even more. I found myself wanting to discover the new person that I had been faced with, always with the knowledge in the back of my mind that Anna was Bella but different.

The feelings I started to develop for Anna, at first I didn't recognised that they were for Anna but I thought that I just found another reason to love Bella more then I already did. That I loved her no matter who she became.

All the while I thought those feelings were for Bella only when she returned back into our world and I was able to see Anna, really see her for the first time without thinking that she was Bella I started to notice that something was off.

Suddenly I was torn in a way I couldn't fathom back then. I wanted to go to Bella and cradle her in my arms as I saw her lying on the ground in her room after the door exploded but at the same time I couldn't leave Anna's side though I had no idea why.

Only when we thought that we were going to die and the end of the world seemed to be near…..when I had to face Anna's death as well, after Bella had gone only moments before, I was able to acknowledge what was going on. Only then I was able to admit it to myself because the time was up and the knowledge had no meaning with the upcoming end.

How wrong I had been!

I didn't love Anna as much as I loved Bella, yet, but I couldn't deny that my feelings for Anna were growing with every day and that I couldn't honestly choose one over the other.

I hadn't visited Bella for that reason. I had no idea how to face her or tell her that I was not able to go back into a relationship with her because another was in my heart as well.

I though that I could figure something out before I would have to face Bella but there was no solution I didn't see one and it pained me to have to hurt Bella but I couldn't lie to her and tell her that everything would be alright since I honestly didn't know if that would be the case.

Alice went to the front door to let Bella in. I could hear the both of them in the hallway while I waited in the living room. Her freesia and strawberry scent reached me before she was able to step into the living room.

It was a shock to my system since I haven't seen her for a few days. I had to close my eyes and push the monster in me down that demanded the intoxicating smelling blood. The memory of when I tasted her blood back then in the ballet studio forced it's way in the forefront of my mind.

I shook my head to shake the unwelcome thought out of my head and to get my act together.

"Edward," Bella whispered my name and I could hear the longing, love and her tears in that small word.

I turned around to face her and saw what I had already smelled her tears running down her face. Despite the fact that I wanted to dry those tears I stood rooted in place.

Too much had happened and I was unable to continue where we left off.

"Bella," I nodded my head in greeting.

She lifted her hand to her face and brushed the tears of her cheeks with her sleeve. Gazing at her I immediately noticed the dark rings under her eyes and her tired and sad expression.

It hurt to know and to see what my inability to make a decision did to her. I loathed myself for causing her pain but at the same time I was unable to give her what she wanted and would have made her happy again.

And there was Anna to consider as well…..

"H-How is Anna?" Bella asked in a small and guilty voice.

"She is upstairs sleeping now. She did wake from her comatose condition today though it will take a while before she….." I stopped.

She what? Is going to be alright again? Will get over the fact that she lost everything? I asked myself.

"She's grieving." I mumbled.

More tears run down her face as she sniffed.

"I'm so sorry, if I could go back in time…." She then noticed what she had said and shook her head weakly.

"I really wish I could make everything alright again."

"So do I Bella." I said and made to walk over to the couch and sit down.

Bella still stood at the entrance of the living room.

"Do you want to sit down?" I asked as she was nervously biting her bottom lip.

She nodded her head and sat down on the love seat opposite of me.

"Charlie sent me here." She blurted out after an uncomfortable silence had settled between us.

"He wants to know how Anna is doing."

"Bella it would not a good idea if you go anywhere near Anna."

"I know," she breathed quietly brushing over her wet cheeks.

"Is there….is there a way to send her back home?" Bella looked up at me with hope shining in her sad and tortured chocolate brown eyes.

"Carlisle is searching for something but we doubt that we will find anything useful because even if we were able to find a way to open a portal who is to say it would be the right one and would bring her back into the right time to the right place."

Carlisle and I had been stressing this topic over the past few days but in the end we still were faced with the same problems. Another vital point was it to keep our search a secret or the Volturi would get to know about Anna and Bella.

"What about school? Will she be going?"

"I don't know we haven't talked about that yet. She'll have time till Monday in two weeks and if she needs more time Carlisle will excuse her."

Bella nodded.

"Charlie won't like this. He won't stop freaking out until he brings her home with him. He really doesn't like it that she is staying here."

I sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Bella I can tell you one thing with absolute certainness: Anna will not live with you under one roof."

Her eyes dropped on the floor and I smelled a blush creep up her cheeks.

"Of course I wasn't….what was I thinking?"

Silence and awkwardness fell between us.

"But how are we going to explain this to Charlie?"

"We will try to come up with something." I promised before silence settled between us again and the only sounds that filled the room were Bella's heart beat and breathing as well as the ticking of the antique, German floor clock in the hallway.

"You didn't come." It was a pained statement.

"I know."

"Uhh….uh….Why Edward?" Her voice was high pitched and tight and I could see her body tremble.

"So much happened over the past couple of months I just needed time to process all of it." Havening to deal with the fact that my family was about to die was harder then I ever thought it would be. Until the incidence with the fog happened I had no real grasp of what I had done to them, how much I had hurt them, with my stupid decision to go to Italy.

"Edward I know why you left and I think in a way it was a good decision." She suddenly said throwing me completely off track.

"Excuse me?"

"Listen, now we both know that we can't live without each other…."

"Did you read those books Anna told me about? Is that what brought you back?" I interrupted her. I had to know if it really was the only reason she came back.

She blushed furiously and looked down at her intertwined hands in her lap.

"Uhm….in the books you didn't regret changing me and I settled into my new live very well."

"Those are just books Bella." I spat because it unnerved me to know that my life was written down in a best seller for everyone to take a snoop if they wanted to.

"No, no Edward." She shook her head frantically.

"I read the books and those are my thoughts and everything that happened to us is also there in black and white on paper. Stephenie Meyer wrote down what she had seen in her dreams that's how everything began with the Twilight books." I looked disbelievingly at her as she passionately ranted on.

"She had a dream about you and me in our meadow. James, Tyler's van, the men in Port Angles it was all there. I don't know if she wrote about our reality or if her writing created us, our world, this dimension but I do know that what she wrote is accurate. It's destiny."

"Destiny," I scoffed, rolling my eyes in disgust.

"Just because something can occur does not mean it has to, Bella. It always depends on what you decide to do."

"What are you saying?" Bella looked puzzled at me with a slight gleam of fear in her chocolate brown eyes.

"What you read in the books may have been accurate once upon time but everything changed now." I informed her.

"What?" She still didn't grasp our new situation.

"Alice can't see the future anymore. She is unable to see more then a month ahead where our family is concerned."

Bella looked at me stunned and shocked opening and closing her mouth a few times.

"In the books what happened after we came back from Italy?" I was curious and I wanted to know what she was expecting from me because I found myself at a dead end that was slowly turning into a crossroads and I had currently no idea where to go.

Anna warned me that if I wouldn't stay away from her I would find myself between a rock and a hard place and she was right.

I couldn't deny the changes she had caused in me and also the feelings that were there for her. Her blood didn't call to me like Bella's did but it also possessed the power to make me dizzy though it lacked the ability to trigger my bloodlust.

So heaven help me I was in love with Anna and no matter how I argued with myself that I had made promises to Bella I couldn't bring myself to give up on Anna.

"I forgave you and we got engaged and then married after graduation. You made a deal with me if I would marry you, you would turn me." She mumbled looking down at her lap while her cheeks burned causing venom to pull into my mouth.

I swallowed it down, let out a little huff and shook my head.

"Edward…what changed?" She was pleading for an answer.

My head snapped up and I looked at her watery doe eyes that were begging for some sort of clue.

I didn't want to hurt Bella more then I already had. Everything had started with my decision to leave her the way I did. Before Anna I would have just run back to Bella to take anyway her suffering and make her happy because I did love her.

But now I knew better Bella deserved more then lies that would protect her from the pain and longing she felt despite the fact that the truth was going to hurt her maybe even more. I had to be honest even if I broke my own heart by doing so. I could not lie to Bella not about this.

But that was easier said, or in my case thought, then done.

"What do you mean Bella?" I was trying to stall.

She narrowed her eyes at me and her face turned into her cute stubborn mask that was graced with a tiny pout of her lips.

"You," her eyes dropped to the floor again as her cheeks turned redder and her voice became quieter, "haven't even touched me ever since I'm back."

She looked up at me then and her eyes were burning with the plea of an answer and the longing for my touch.

I held her gaze while my mind raced with possibilities how to react to that but I come up with nothing useful.

Bella watched me intensely before she moved to stand up from the couch she was sitting on and stepped around the oval coffee table closing the distance between herself and me.

I stood up as well looking wary at her. On the one hand I wanted to touch her and feel the warmth of her skin again but on the other hand I had the feeling that she would take that small gesture as something more then it actually was.

Bella never had been able to restrain herself in my presence. I knew that once she touched me she would cross the line again and I would have to push her away.

I couldn't allow that. I would not allow myself to hurt her anymore then I had done already.

Which is why I pulled away when she stretched her arm out to touch me. Pain immediately flashed over her features and I could see the question burning in her deep chocolate pools.

"I'm…I'm sorry," I stammered after I put three steps distance between us.

"Why are you backing away from me?" She asked with hurt in her unsure and teary voice as her eyes welled up with fresh tears.

I felt like a jerk but it had been the right thing to do at the moment.

"I'm sorry," it was all that came to my mind.

"Are you angry at me?" She asked looking at me before her eyes swept over the room trying to figure out the reason for my behaviour.

"Bella," I shook my head frustrated with myself for not being able to be up front with her.

It was weird it was way easier to talk openly with Anna. It was like I could tell Anna everything no matter how bad it was and I knew she would be able to deal with it while I worried that Bella would break under the weight of any bad news.

Anna told me, more like she yelled at me back then during the wash down she had given me, that I tended to treat Bella like a father does their child. It had never been that painfully obvious as now that I really patronised her.

I loved Bella but out of thin air as if a sheet of mist had been cleared all of the sudden I could see that we had major problems in our relationship. Those had always been there but neither of us ever wanted acknowledge them.

"What is it then? Why won't you touch me?" Her voice shook. Tears were running down her burning face and this time she didn't brush them away, she waited for me to do so.

But I didn't instead I dug my hands deep into the pockets of my jeans.

She gazed at me. Her eyes were observing me intensely while I could see the wheels in her head turning before she seemed to have made a horrible discovery judging by the expression that suddenly occupied her face.

"What happened between you and Anna while I was gone?" Her voice was nearly not audible because of the shock and horror in her voice but I did hear the faint accusation that was laced in the question.

My mouth pressed into a thin line and I broke my eye contact with her.

"Edward?" Her voice was unsure and small as she took a hesitant step closer to me but only this one.

"When you were gone…I…..I…." Confessing this was harder then I thought it would be. Not that I had trouble to stand to what I felt for Anna but saying something that would shatter the world of someone you cared about was not an easy thing to do.

Bella gasped and looked eye wide at me already guessing what I was to say, maybe?

"Say it." It was a weak command. One that I had to follow but dreaded to do so.

"I…." If my heart were still to pump blood through my body it would have been hammering it's way out of my chest. I sighed and took a deep breath there was no use in stalling anymore but Bella beat me to it.

"You have feelings for Anna!" I heard the stunned shock thick in her voice as more tears brimmed at her eyes.

I could also hear Esme's gasp from upstairs and the surprised and shocked thoughts of my family though not everyone was surprised by my words Jasper of course knew and so did Alice though she hoped that Bella and I would find our way back together.

"Yes," I replied quietly but firmly leaving no doubt that it was the case.

She looked eye wide in horror and betrayal at me and her breath came out of her mouth in small gasps. I heard her heart beating painfully fast in her torso while she looked paler then I had ever seen her as beads of sweat started to build on her forehead.

"Bella?" I asked fearfully while concern for her well being swallowed me as she began to choke.

I took a step closer to her as she began to tremble but she held her hand up, not looking at me but at the ground, when she told me to stay away from her.

It hurt but I did as she asked.

Son, I think she is having a panic attack. I heard Carlisle's worried thoughts.

I was just about to call for Carlisle since Bella didn't want me near her at least she would hopefully let him help her but suddenly Bella's head shot up and her eyes blazed at me as if she just had an epiphany.

Time seemed to stand still between us. We both stared unmoving at one anther until Bella closed her eyes while tears leaked from under her shut eyelids. I thought that she would have broken down by now but to my great astonishment she held herself together though I could practically see the pain that clenched her chest.

Slowly she stumbled back and sat down on the couch opposite of me.

"That's OK," she whispered after a while opening her eyes holding her composure.

"OK?" I repeated incredulously. Wondering briefly if I hadn't heard right.

"I also fell in love with Jake that was what the third book was about the love triangle between you, Jake and me. I had gone through an intense time with him but in the end I came to see that you are my true love and that no one can measure up to that." I felt my heart being stabbed getting to know that she loved someone else.

The second the feelings of betrayal and hurt were eating me alive I knew that I was a hypocrite. I was upset that Bella loved someone besides me while I myself have lost my heart to the girl sleeping upstairs.

But what Bella couldn't understand because she was human, and I didn't use that term in a patronizing was way anymore not after Anna's wash down, was that the human capability to love and the one of a Vampire were two different pair of shoes.

"It is not a choice Edward. We are meant to be. You just need to figure it out like I did." She nodded to herself, as if to assure herself that there was no flaw in her logic, before she brushed her hot tears away.

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I knew that I had to correct her but looking at her fragile and vulnerable frame I couldn't take that false hope from her.

"I better go now before Charlie sends out a searching party for me," she tried to keep her voice light as she rose from the love seat but failed miserably. She still couldn't lie to save her life.

"Bella you are already leaving?" Alice was in front of her in a flash.

"I really have to go," she nodded and brushed the tears that furiously run down her cheeks away before she bolted for the front door.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

I knew that she would cry herself to sleep but I was unable to go to her and comfort her. Not when I was so confused about to whom I belonged and where my path would take me.

"You are in love with Anna?" Esme asked me carefully sitting down besides me and placed her hand on my shoulder in a gesture of support.

"Yes." One simple word and it introduced such a mess into my life.

"How can you be so sure?" Alice's questioning gaze bored into my eyes.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose while Bella's painful sobbing invaded my mind. I could hear her truck come to live before she drove away.

"Will she make it home?" I asked Alice I had to be sure she would arrive home unharmed.

"Yes," she answered after a few moments before her questioning gaze continued to bore into my eyes.

"When you are about to die you realise many things Alice. At least I did." I explained feeling unnaturally tired.

"How is that even possible? Vampires mate for live." Emmett exclaimed unsure how he should feel about my change of heart.

"But maybe Bella is right. You have been through something intense with Anna. You believed her to be Bella for nearly four months. Maybe you got attached to her and now…."

"No, Carlisle he is really in love with Anna and I mean the kind of love you feel for your mate." Jasper interrupted him.

I covered my face with my hands before driving then roughly through my hair. Ever since I was back in Forks I had been trying to figure my feelings out hoping against my better judgement that I could resolve my situation without hurting anyone though I knew that I was kidding myself.

Bella loved me and wanted a future with me while Anna honestly I had no idea what she felt or thought about me I even doubted that she knew herself yet. And I wished it would have been as easy as to run to Bella and tell her that I loved her and that I did wanted to marry her but at the same time there was Anna on my mind.

"I have a theory." Jasper drawled.

I exhaled and lifted my head to look curiously at him like the rest of our family did.

"When Bella opened the portal maybe the reason why it was Anna on the other side was not a coincidence."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked him feeling as confused as I was.

"What if the portal only opened to Bella's replacement of sorts? To some kind of a cosmic doppelganger. Anna doesn't look like Bella and from what you have told us I can tell that her personality isn't anything like Bella's as well, in some aspects."

"Yeah and?" Emmett titled his head.

Jasper sighed as he saw that Emmett wasn't the only confused one.

"What if Anna and Bella kind of are the same fragment of a soul but from different universes or the same sort of energy of sorts in the great picture." In his mind I saw exactly what he meant and it hit shockingly close to home.

"Look, every one of us has only one mate in this world but that's exactly it: Anna isn't from here. What if Edward existed in Anna's world maybe she would have been it?"

"That means because of what Bella did he has two mates now in one place?" Emmett classified.

Jasper nodded and stunned silence had fallen over us for a few moments.

"That would be a possible explanation if you really are in love with Anna, son." Carlisle looked at me searching for an answer and all I could do was to nod.

"Rock and a hard place," I laughed darkly to myself.

"What?" Esme wondered.

I sighed and looked up at her.

"Anna once told me that I would find myself between a rock and a hard place if I would not realise soon that she wasn't Bella." I shook my head because that was exactly where I was.

My heart was torn between the both of them and despite the fact that I knew that I would have to make a decision that was the last thing I wanted to face anytime soon.

Never in my existence had I felt so helpless and clueless before.