Chapter 20: Not coming back

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Anna's POV:

When I turned around away from the stove, with the little bowl of corn flakes in my hand, to face the marble counter in the kitchen, on which I always ate my breakfast, Edward was suddenly sitting on the other side of the counter facing me.

I got a fright and squeaked in surprise but luckily managed to hold onto the bowl in my hand.

"For the love of god, Edward, could you warn a girl?" I exclaimed as my wildly beating heart was settling down.

"Sorry," he softly murmured while his eyes were glued to the surface of the counter and he appeared as if he wanted to say some more.

I waited for him but he did not look up at me nor did he say anymore.

"Well good morning you too," I grumped slightly irritated and confused.

His head snapped up and troubled pools of liquid gold looked startled at me.

"Good morning," he nodded at me.

"Man, you are out of it today," I noted while I made to sit at the counter and placed my bowl with the corn flakes in front of me.

The only response I got from him was silence. I sighed heavily, shrugged and grabbed the spoon out of the milk and flakes mix.

The Vampire opposite of me sat rigidly in his seat, like a marble statue, I wondered what had put him into that brooding mood until it occurred to me that it was Edward Cullen who was sitting in front of me.

The very Vampire who was famous for his mood swings and his sullenness.

I decided to fill my empty belly first while simultaneity giving Edward some time and space before I would turn noisy and actually asked him what bug bit him.

I smiled to myself liking the bug part and thinking of ways of how to build that word into the question I would later ask the moody Vampire.

My teeth were loudly crunching the crisp corn flakes between them while I was lost in my own little world when suddenly the marble statue decided to rise to live.

"Bella was here on Friday when you slept."

The spoon that I had intended to put into my mouth a second ago halted midair as I inhaled sharply but I did manage to keep the murderous thoughts at bay.

"What did she want?" I asked as if I didn't know that already.

He sighed.

"She asked about you."

I snorted before shoving the spoon full that had been caught midair a moment ago into my mouth.

"She told me a little about what happened in the future we should have had according to the books."

I swallowed the last of the corn flakes and looked up at him.

"You are choosing your words quite carefully." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You are observant." A careful and small smile twisted the corners of his mouth up.

"Not really I just know you." I shrugged.

He opened his mouth as if to say something but then thought better of it, closed it again and just nodded.

"It were four books that got published though the published version was not the original version of your story that Mrs. Meyer had written."

"What?" His eyes snapped to mine and I knew that the others were also listening.

"Originally it were two books Twilight was about her meeting you, figuring out your family's secret and the whole James thing and then another book, I think it was called "Forever Dawn" or something like that, it got never published. In that book Victoria brings the Volturi down on you. It deals with the problems of the "New Moon", the sequel of "Twilight", your dealing with your self-destructive ways and "Eclipse". He gave me curious look.

"We are currently in Eclipse the fight and the love triangle."

"You said there were four books."

"Not exactly."

He looked confused then and I sighed as I placed my spoon next to the now empty bowl.

"The forth book was "Breaking Dawn" where you had to deal with the Werewolves being not really happy about her turning and the Volturi came for a visit." I wasn't about to broach the topic of Vampire/human pregnancies.

Speaking about the books, the future that was to take place in this reality made me want to destroy something, just to take a hammer and bash it at something until nothing was left of whatever had to suffer from my rage and pain.

I just couldn't endure the thought of her happiness when it was her who had destroyed my life. She would end up having it all: a husband, a baby, her best friend at her side, her father and a family that loved her.

While those thoughts were rushing through my mind I could feel that something dark, ugly and sinister that was rising and spreading inside of me, infecting and tainting my soul. The feeling tasted bitter, foul and cold but in a twisted way it provided relief.

A lump had built in my throat and I had difficulties to breath. My chest was clenched so tight I thought my heart was going to be squashed as a brief and ugly idea flashed through my mind.

"Anna, are you alright?" Edward's concerned voice brought me back before tears could fall and I was able to understand what I was thinking.

His hand was lying on the top of mine. I looked down at our connection and pulled my hand away from him.

To my great confusion I caught a hurt look on Edward's face when I did so but didn't bother myself with that instead I shook my head and went on filling him and them in about the Twilight series.

"Then there was also the book about Bree Tanner. It is about the girl that the Volturi killed that day. I never read the book but as far as I heard she will loose her mate in the fight against you."

Edward looked down at the table with an unreadable expression on his face.

I'm going to love the next one. My subconscious snickered rubbing her hands gleefully together, an evil glint in her eyes.

"And of course there was also "Midnight Sun"."

"Another book?" He looked wary at me.

I smiled wildly at him and he shrank back in his chair.

"It's out of your perspective." His eyes went wide in horror and his jaw went slack before I heard a booming laughter from upstairs.

Edward shot a brief but fierce glare at the pear white ceiling.

"Your thoughts are pretty dark." I shrugged.

"How can you not run from me after having a look into my mind?" His quiet voice asked me while his face was twisted up in a carefully composed mask.

"I just don't."

"But"

"Listen," I cut him off, "I do not have an explanation for everything I do or feel. I'm just rolling with it in most cases. I really don't like to complicate my life unnecessarily."

"Then I'm sorry about what I'm going to do next." He blurted out.

I looked curiously at him crossing my arms over my chest.

"You should know the ground we are standing on."

"We?"

"You, Bella and me."

I don't think I like the sound of that. My subconscious looked unsure at me.

"That family stealing witch and I share no common ground." I barked and narrowed my eyes at him.

Edward looked directly at me as if he didn't hear what I had just said. His intense gaze burned into me.

"Anna yesterday I informed Bella that….I'm in love with you, too."

I looked incredulously at him while I blinked twice.

Silence…..

…..Silence…..

…Silence…..

…..Silence…..

"You've got to be kidding me." It just blurted out of me while the jaw of my subconscious hit the ground.

All I was able to do was to huff and to shake my head in disbelieve before I stared at him with wide open eyes.

My heart that I had safely protected in a massive bank vault that was hid deeply in a bunker deep, very deep inside of me, cried a yes out of joy while the rest of me was pissed off.

First off all I didn't want to fall in love and second having someone tell me that they loved me but there was also another one was quite something and that something was nothing good.

I did not share!

And I had enough problems on my hands already. A broken heart was pretty much the last thing I needed on the top of it all.

What was even worse was that no matter how much I denied it I knew that I had feelings for Edward but it was not…I was not able to…..things were too complicated for me…..

I was grieving.

My life was a mess.

I was a mess.

I barely kept it together and I only did so because I had no other choice. I had to keep up appearance if not for my sake then at least for the Cullens.

I couldn't believe Edward was really doing this to me. I admitted to him that I liked him back then when the other reality came to an end.

I knew that it must have cost him a lot of courage to tell me what he did and that my reaction most likely hurt him but it was too much to soon not only for me but for him as well. After all he knew about my true identity only for a couple of days. He didn't even really know me.

My mind was spinning.

All the wounds I had received ever since that family stealing witch appeared in front of me haven't even started to heal and now here he was offering something to me that could quickly become precious to me only to rip it away from me in the end.

I shook my head. I was in no place to deal with matters of heart at the moment.

"You are playing a dangerous game." I tried to play it down.

"Anna this is tearing me apart inside. I assure you this is not a game."

"What do you want me to do now?" I gazed expectantly at him.

He shrugged, ran his hands through his messy hair and looked down at the table.

"What about you? What do you…." His voice disappeared before he could end his question.

"What about me?" I hissed at him crossing my arms over my chest.

His breath stuck in his throat while he was gazing at me as several emotions were flashing over his features. His face turned into a pained mask before he let his eyes drop to the surface of the table.

No sound came from his direction.

I growled under my breath, stood up, ran out of the kitchen and stormed up the stairs. Once I arrived in the guest room I was staying in I barely managed not to bang the door with all my force.

I was however angrily pacing in front of the bed.

"Stupid Edward!" I muttered quietly under my breath as I paced back and forth.

I wanted to slap myself for actually feeling something for him. He affected me and I hated it because it scared me. I never cared about guys. I hated it that Edward could make my heart beat faster and that he had the power to make me feel things I never knew I was capable of feeling.

And I had admitted that I liked him.

That was when you thought you were dying. My subconscious noted amused. I wanted to strangle her.

And I could have strangled myself for feeling guilty about how I had left things with him and that I wanted to comfort him. I was a mess…

A soft knock on the door interrupted my angry rant.

"Who is there?" I asked with a sharp edge in my voice.

I sighed driving my hands through my hair.

"I mean come in." I said in a softer voice.

I was more then stunned when I saw Rosalie open the door and step inside. So stunned that in fact my anger washed away.

"How can I help you?"

"Edward is an idiot." She sighed dramatically.

"I have been telling him that for the past four months." I agreed with her.

"But you got to admit he grew up." I couldn't help but ad.

It was true the Edward I knew out of the books would have never been this honest about his feelings and the mess that was going on.

On the one hand I didn't want to know what he had told me but on the other hand I would have given him hell if he kept it from me.

Decided what you want girl. My subconscious crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me.

"Not that I mind you being here but I got to admit that it is a surprise." I chose my words carefully.

"They must have caught my personality quite well."

"Yes, and they….." My voice died down in my throat.

"You know my story." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, I do," I nodded grimly.

"That person had no right." Rosalie growled angrily.

I just shrugged Mrs. Meyer had no idea that her characters were real or at least she didn't think that they would ever get to know she wrote and published their stories.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for Rosalie to react because all she did was to stand near the door, tremble in fury and look like she wanted to murder someone before she directed a heated glare at me

An angry Rosalie was something to be reckoned with but before I could fear for my life she was gone, out of the door in a split of a second. I heard the front door being slammed shut with a loud bang and all I could do was to feel sorry for her. I couldn't imagine how it must feel to know that there was a world where people knew something so painful, personal and horrible about her life.

As the thought that my chaos of a life may also be written down by someone somewhere crossed my mind I was ready to shoot myself.

^0^ **A few days later…..** ^0^

"Charlie will call in about fifteen minutes," Edward informed me while I was in the living room and was watching TV with Emmett.

After I stormed off into my room Edward acted as if nothing happened. I was thankful for that though I did know that at some point that conversation would return.

"OK," I sighed.

For four days Charlie had been calling punctually at seven o'clock asked about my well being. Carlisle or Esme would answer and tell him that I still had a high fever and was not in the condition to go through a conversation no matter how minimal.

It was a measure that had to be taken for appearance sake but now according to Carlisle I should have been in a good enough condition to have a phone call, assuming I really would have had the chicken pox.

"Do you know what to say?" Emmett asked from besides me.

"I'll manage." I answered him not looking at him but having my eyes fixed on the TV screen.

Once the clock in the hallway announced that it was seven o'clock the house phone rang out just like it did on the last four evenings.

Carlisle answered it and soon was calling for me.

I ambled into the kitchen where he answered the phone and offered him a small smile while I held my hand out to take the phone from him. I took a deep breath and exhaled before I pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hello Ch…..dad."

"Anna, sweetheart, how are you feeling?" His concerned voice asked me over the land line.

"The fever is down a little. I'm feeling better then I did yesterday." Yep, I was a good lair before I was forced into the Twilight universe but being here made me perfect at this profession.

"That is good to know then you can come back home soon. We miss you sweetheart." I could hear the hope and relief in his voice and I instantly felt bad for having to hurt the man who had always been nothing but nice and kind to me.

"Dad."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Even….when I will be healthy again…..I….."

There was no good reason why I was not going back home which is why we didn't even try to make one up since I was eighteen what meant that I was independent from my parents wishes in front of the law.

I just had to tell the poor guy.

"Anna?"

I closed my eyes and pushed the words out apologising in my head to him.

"I'm not coming back."

Silence was what I had been met with after those words were spoken.

"What do you mean you are not coming back?" His voice was confused but quickly gained on anger.

"It has nothing to do with you but I can't come back."

"What do you mean?...It's this damn boy again what has he done to you. I swear…" That was when I cut him off.

"No, dad this has nothing to do with Edward if you want to blame someone then it should be Bella," it was a huge strain to force her name out of my mouth and when her name left my lips it left a bitter taste behind.

Silence again.

"I….don't think I understand."

"I know dad but I'm incapable of enduring her."

"What? Why? Since when?"

"I'm sorry." I breathed.

I hated to have to agonise the poor guy but there was no way I would pretend to be a happy family with this….this…

"Anna…."

"I am really sorry for doing what I have to do," I felt really bad for all the stress and pain I was causing Chief Swan. He was a great man and didn't deserve to be treated like I did but…

"I will come over there and then….."

"Listen, maybe the both of us could go fishing." I interrupted him.

"You want to go fishing with me?" He asked me incredulously, I obviously caught him off guard with that one.

"Dad, just because I don't want her in my life does not mean I'm excluding you too. It's just I can't…with her. Think about my offer. I would really like to spend some time with you." I said and handed the phone back to Carlisle who took over the conversation with Charlie.

I smiled guiltily at Carlisle who offered me a small smile in return before he answered to whatever Charlie had just said.

Chief Swan believed me to be his daughter and he had been one of the few people who stood by my side in the other reality. I felt like I owned him.

A thought struck me: maybe being nice to Charlie, taking care of him was my way to compensate how my parents must have felt when they noticed that I was gone or maybe they didn't even know because I stopped exiting in the world I was born in.

As much as it relieved me to think that they would not have to endure the pain and sorrow I had to go through it also made me sad to think that they had forgotten all about me.

I went outside on the deck and sat down on the couch there. I closed my eyes and drew the cool air into my lungs to clear my mind. Next to me I noticed a quilt which I put over myself since it was fresh outside.

I pulled my legs onto the couch and nestled my body against the comfy corner while I was gazing into the sky. I heard the French doors open and cranked my neck to see Edward standing a few feet away from me looking like a lost puppy.

I was gazing at his still form for a little while before I sighed and held my hand out to him. His face softened and a small smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. He ambled over to me and sat down on the ground in front of me.

"Thank you," Edward murmured not looking at me but at the forest in front of us.

I sighed and my eyes fell onto his mass of brown tresses. I bit my lip and before I knew what I was doing my hand found their way into his hair that was soft and silky. I played and pulled at his brown locks. Edward leaned into my touch and sighed contently while I was running my fingers absently through his messy locks.

^0^ **A few days later…..** ^0^

"And you are really OK standing here in the kitchen making human food?" I asked Esme as I was tossing the finger-shaped potato dumplings in the frying pan.

"What do you mean?" She looked curiously at me as she was busy with the mushroom and mince meat sauce.

"Uhm…in the books you, Vampire, couldn't stand the smell of human food. It smelled rotten to you guys."

"Oh," she looked surprised.

"Well it doesn't really make me want to eat it but human food does not smell rotten to us. I actually don't know how to explain this to you. It smells like human food obviously but at the same time a little different though nothing bad or rotten."

I nodded my head and wondered if Mrs. Meyer just got this fact wrong or if some of the editors thought it would do the book good to change small details.

"Anna." I heard a deep voice call my name.

"Yes," I answered and looked in the direction the voice came from and saw Jasper standing at the counter looking nervous.

"Is something wrong?"

He cleared his throat which was more for show than for anything else because Vampire didn't need to clear their throats.

"I wanted to apologize to you."

"Ah…excuse me?" I was confused.

Why in the world is he apologizing? My subconscious wondered.

"If I hadn't attacked Bella….."

"And stop!" I held my hand up.

"Edward seems to be rubbing off on you. Jasper, I'm not blaming you. If some is to blame then it's her. She just had to admire her blood zoon out of her cut finger in a room full of Vampires, didn't she? Instead of popping the damaged digit into her mouth to prevent the scent from spreading." I muttered angrily before I shook my head.

"Anyway, how did this crazy idea even occur to you to apologize to me?" I asked him in disbelieve.

"I shouldn't have lost control." He bowed his head in shame.

I sighed and was thinking about what I could tell him that would make him fell better when suddenly something occurred to me. I had always wondered about it.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He looked up and nodded.

"Can you feel if someone is hungry or thirsty or are you just feeling emotions like love, joy, dislike and so on?"

He looked at me as if I had grown a second head and out of the blue Carlisle was standing next to him watching him curiously.

Jasper glanced puzzled at Carlisle before he answered me.

"No one ever asked me that before but yes I can also feel hunger and thirst as well as the physical pain of others."

Carlisle's face lit up in wonder and he looked eye wide at Jasper. After a thoughtful moment Jasper himself finally understood the meaning behind his words.

Esme, Carlisle and Jasper went out of the kitchen into the living room where Emmett was while the rest of the Cullen's were hunting. I could hear Carlisle having a field day bombarding poor Jasper with questions while I was making my lunch.

^0^ **A few hours later…..** ^0^

When I came out of the bathroom I found a pixie sitting on my bed.

"Can I help you?"

She grinned up at me and showed me a see-through but pink coloured plastic bag with some items in it.

I looked puzzled at her.

"It's a cucumber-aloe-Vera-face-pack." She beamed at me.

"Do I have a choice?"

"Of course you do." She smiled while a glint past through her eyes.

"On how long I can resist your begging?" I crossed my arms over my chest faking being upset.

"Now aren't you a smart one."

I smiled and shook my head before giving myself over into the capable hands of the little fairy. I loved it to play dress up well more the whole make-up thing but getting my hair done took the cake each time.

"Anna?" Alice called my attention after she covered my face in a yummy smelling substance and was currently doing my nails.

"Hmhm.." I hummed in acknowledge.

"I made some researches."

"On what?" I asked her opening my eyes as I sat up against the pillows on the bed. Alice was at my right with my hand in hers.

"Your new life here." She informed me carefully.

I sighed and was quiet for a while.

"Shoot."

"Are you sure?"

"I don't know…..just tell me."

"As far as everyone goes you had different friends than….." Alice didn't say her name and I was thankful for that.

"You were usually hanging out with a group of kids from your English class. I made a list with the most important information about them." She said and looked over at the desk where a college block was laying on the Macbook.

I nodded my head.

"Everyone in Forks seems to think you are quiet and very shy."

"I had been, Alice, until I came here." I sighed before I shook my head. I had changed a lot in the past couple of months.

"Have you thought about going to school?"

I laughed at her question.

"That'll be my third time graduating."

She just shrugged and gave me a look that said "Have you any idea who often I graduated?"

"If you want to go to college…."

"Alice!" I interrupted her holding my hands up.

I took a moment and blew out a lung full of air.

"I know what you are doing but this distracting thing won't work."

"That obvious." She looked guiltily.

"You Vampires seem to think that humans have the attention span of a fruit fly."

She braked out a laugh and tried hard keep her composure.

"I have no idea if I want to go to college. I have no idea what I want to study anymore. I thought of becoming a teacher before everything happened or something in that direction but now….."

I had no idea where I wanted to go from the place I was currently at. Suddenly I felt incredibly lost. I lost footing ever since I was tricked into entering this world and I didn't see how I was ever going to touch secure grounds again.

"One step after another Alice." I told her and she nodded with an understanding expression on her face.

"What do you see in my future?" I asked her all of the sudden.

She looked straddled and her eyes left my face focusing on the panorama window.

"You are completely undecided. I just sometimes get little pieces but," she was shaking her head, "it's not enough to be able to get any kind of picture out of it."

"OK," I sighed heavily.

^0^ **A few days later…..** ^0^

"Would you hand me the wrench." I heard a bell like voice that I knew belonged to Rosalie call.

I stopped walking and looked around to see who she had just talked to but besides the both of us no one was in the yard.

"Yes, I mean you Anna." She huffed from under the hood of a car and I could practically see her rolling her eyes at me.

"Oh," the sound left my stunned lips as I moved into her direction.

"Which one do you want to have?" I asked as I came to stand next to a movable, metal bureau that was made for containing tools.

"The seventeen." I heard her answer from under Carlisle's Mercedes.

I glanced over the wrenches until I found the wrench with the number seventeen on it and handed the tool to her.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" I asked politely.

"You could hand me the tools I need." She said while she was doing something under the German piece of metal.

"What are you doing if you don't mind me asking?" I questioned out of curiosity.

"Carlisle's Mercedes needed an upgrade." Was her short answer.

For the next few minutes no one said anything else than Rosalie asking for tools and me asking for clarifications if I couldn't find them right away.

"Done." She announced satisfied coming up from under the car and I handed her a towel to clean her hands.

"I'm amazed that you can do that." I blurted out and she glared at me and was about to snap.

"Don't get me wrong. I didn't mean because you are and girl and all…it's just my father also was able to handle a car but that was when I was a child and before the technique made everything to complicated for a hobby mechanic." I explained quickly.

She nodded at that.

"I got everything I need, without my tools I wouldn't be able to do anything as well." She was gazing lovingly into the garage where a wall with a lot of computers and other technical stuff stood.

I smiled timidly at all the stuff before biting the inside of my lower lip and looking curious at her.

"Can I ask you why you are civil with me?" She turned her head around and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Not that I'm complaining but I was expecting you to glare and me and make me mostly unwelcome in your home…..but you don't. I don't really know what to make out of that." I admitted.

Her behaviour was something I was not prepared for. It left me confused more the once.

"It's not a strain to have to endure your presence," she mused while she seemed to look into nothing.

"You are not a stupid child that is blinded by our beauty and confuses what we are with some Disney fairy tale with some ridiculous and highly unrealistic happy ending. And it is amusing to see Edward struggle for once."

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"I love him. I do love Edward as a brother, as a member of my family, but for as long as I have known him he needed to brought down a few notches, more like a million," she added quietly in a exhausted sigh, shaking her head, "and you are doing so. I respect that," she nodded at me while I stared stunned at her.

"Tha…Thank you," I bobbed my head once after I mulled what she had told me over.

She turned around to the car she was working on but halted her movements suddenly. She seemed to be thinking about something before she cranked her neck to look at me.

"Edward is a complicated and offbeat jerk," Rosalie sighed annoyed but then her voice got softer, "but he also has his good sides…." She seemed thoughtful and then looked deeply into my eyes imploring me to understand what she was telling me.

"He is worth a chance."

With those words spoken she was back under the car before my eyes were even able to register her movements.

I was left speechless and entirely dumbfounded about that encounter.