"I DO NOT KNOW EITHER!"

"I thought Cole was with you."

Vivian's voice made me sigh in exhaustion. Well, he was supposed to be with us. But he did not want to.

"He is with Bianca. Emily is with them...like a family."

I said letting out a little sad smile.

Sometimes I wondered why it made me so remorseful thinking about how our marriage was coming to an end...soon enough if not for my indecisiveness because Cole had made up his mind.

If I remember six years ago, this marriage did not mean much to me. It was just felt like the right thing to do to keep up my father's reputation.

After all, he was a very respected man in society and he could not let it all go because of his 'abandoned' daughter who had decided to go 'sleeping' around in school.

Those were the words he used when he came to know that I was pregnant with Emily.

"Bill will take you to Morris."

I knew who Billy was. My dad's chauffeaur but Morris? I did not know who that man was. Neither I had the guts to ask him.

Standing alone in his office itself intimidated me to my core. This is the longest I had been here.

"Morris is our family doctor. He will take good care of everything."

It was then I understood where he was going with this...what his intentions were.

All of a sudden my breathing increased, curling both of my hands into a fist. I thought I would get some sort of help by letting my only alive parent know what was going on.

I was only seventeen and still did not know what I wanted at that point. But maybe I had commited another mistake by trusting my instinct...just like I had done with him.

He gave me only one choice with which he was going to help me with throughout the entire procedure.

Being abandoned at a young age by my father, taught me a lot of things. My mother had passed away by the age of ten.

She was a working staff in his family house and father had rejected to accept me because he was already married to a daughter, my half-sister, Alaya Johnson.

My mother left the city to go raise me all by herself but when she was diagnosed with an ulcer, she threatened my father to take me in because if not, she was going to go tell his wife and that made him come around.

Being wellcomed in my father's family was where I found my first rejection. So it was nothing new to me.

But when he rejected the child that was growing inside me made me feel the kind of agony I never ever felt.

All of a sudden, I felt the loneliest in the big wide world. So when Cole offered his hands to me, I had no choice but to accept it.

If I was not going to follow through my father's order, and have this baby, I needed the father of the child to at the very least accept it.

It would then make seem as if I was not a 'slut' who did not know the man I had slept with and was willing to take responsibility for our silly mistake.

Cole Harrison came to me like a knight in shining armour. He had not touched even a strand of hair but stood in front of everybody as the father of my child even my family.

Memories would take me to the first time everyone in school came to know that Cole had come forward taking the responsibility of my pregnancy and the number of shocked faces I had seen that day...especially his.

Nobody wanted to believe it because the picture of me as the girl that slept around seemed more trustworthy than a man from a reputed family to come forward and accept it.

My heart was sore having to make amends lying but it was the only was out of all the misery that circled me for months back then.

"He used to like you...once upon a time."

Viviana spoke from the other side, making me sigh, wondering if I had myself destroyed my own marriage yearning for something else.

"...but your heart was still aching for him."

I closed my eyes, not wanting to remember it all over again even though Viviana was right all about it.

After all how long a man could wait for a woman whose heart was already yearning for another man?

It might be that I was a fool all along because soon enough, watching him transform into a father for a baby that was not even his made me think otherwise for the very first time.

He turned out to be the best for Emily. The love of a father in his eyes for my baby, something I had never seen in my own father's eyes made me realise I had done the right thing that day accepting him.

"All the marriages start rough...it takes time to feel like home."

Luna Harrison, Cole's mother had told me. She knew that Emily was not her son's but she was the second person who cared for me just like my own mother.

Taking her words, I tried to make it work...this marriage. But it could be that I was already too late.

By the time I had thought about it, he could have already found his solace with Bianca, a recent divorcee then.

Being pregnant with Aiden made me think that things were finally going to change for good, who could have known that fate was going to laugh another time on my face?

When he had found love with another woman, I could not even question it but be happy for him. Afterall he had sacrificed too much for me.

Viviana told me that I should have let him known that I was not ok with it in the begining itself, maybe it could have stopped then...who could tell now?

"He loves her, Jan."

Viviana said. I nodded saying, " I know."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

She asked. Even I had no idea what I was waiting for.

"I do not know either."

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The story will begin with a soft and static note before all the drama unfolds. It will transition between the past and the present.

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