Chapter 8: Secrets

During their journey back to Redhold, Cullen had time to digest all of what Evelyn had told him. Their pace and rhythm became steady and his mind was able to wander as his body's instincts kept him at the front of the group. The spirits had been correct in that she had discovered a promising lead as to why their crops were failing and game was scarce. He was eager to return to the Hold and discuss a plan to exterminate the darkspawn if she had not already done so. Having already restored some of Stone-bear's fields, he also looked forward to doing the same to their own fields and pastures.

 

The more he thought of his duty the more one particular issue nagged him. Since liberating her, Trevelyan seems to be stuck to Rylen. He didn't blame her for it, he was much better at talking to women with his charm and outgoing personality. Cullen tended to be guarded and not as forthcoming after four lonely years. The words of the spirit came back to him, but he would not force this woman to marry him. He had just told her he wouldn't, but he also did not want to lose the Thaneship that his family had held for several generations. It was bad enough when Mia refused to take up the title, being the eldest and next in line, forcing Cullen then to prove himself worthy through election. And while he did win out, had his father been alive, he would've forced Mia to do it. Knowing that Cullen couldn't let his father's and grandfather's legacy be squandered all because Mia wanted a quiet family life.

 

Did he want to be Thane? Cullen asked himself this daily in an attempt to either be prepared for when he was asked to step aside or summon the resolve to do what needed to be done. Both options were not appealing and there was no middle ground to speak of. Rylen would make a good Thane, of that he had no doubt, but he just wasn't ready to let go of his tight control on the Hold's operation and security, not now when things were so dire. History would remember him and most likely his family as the cause of the Hold's decline, especially if he stepped aside. The name of his family had to be preserved, and to do that he had to remain Thane.

 

By dusk the next day, they passed through the gates of the Redhold victoriously. On their way back they had spotted some game and opted to hunt before returning. It took longer than they had expected, as evident by Trevelyan's whining, but their patience bore fruit. The party of seven split up to get some well-earned rest, though one lingered by the edge of the village. He sighed, knowing he needed sleep as well, as she had said to him, but something about the way she fidgeted gave him pause. "Something the matter?"

 

The Phoenix wrung her hands together, "The Augur, he's the spiritual leader here, correct?" He nodded in affirmation. "I think I need to speak with him about Hakkon and my change of faith. Is that something he'd do?"

 

Though dragging, he cocked his head toward the Augur's hut, "Come, I'll take you to him." She nervously nodded following him in silence through the village as his people welcomed them home. Passing by his family's home, Rosalie and Branson were outside waiting having heard they were home. Stopping momentarily to see them, they both frowned at Evelyn's appearance.

 

"I fear I destroyed the coat you made me already. Any chance I could get you to make me another? I'll pay for it… somehow." Trevelyan sheepishly cringed as if expecting Rosalie to get angry at her, but he knew better.

 

"Of course, but this time can you come here to get fitted? How does tomorrow morning sound?" Good-humored as ever, Cullen smiled at his sister's kindness reminding him of their mother's ever-giving spirit.

 

"Any trouble while I was away?" He looked to Bran this time.

 

"Not a bit. The Hold is how you left it," he said cheerfully.

 

"Good, I'm taking her to see the Augur and then I'll be home. Ros you wouldn't happen to have--"

 

"Yes, there's supper waiting. Evelyn would you care to join us, there's plenty. I'd hate to think of you having to go home alone to make up the hearth and cook after everything."

 

She considered it a moment, "That's very kind, thank you." He echoed her sentiments, thanking his sister, always impressed that she always knew exactly what was needed. With that, his siblings went back inside and they continued through the village. "You don't mind, do you?"

 

Her question briefly halted him, allowing her to catch up and walk beside him, "Mind what?"

 

"That your sister invited me to dine with you?" His brow furrowed as he looked ahead wondering why she would ask such a thing. Did she believe him to be intolerant of her? Or that she was burdensome? The thought of her being uneasy in his presence brought on his thoughts from earlier in the day. He would need to rectify the problem regardless of his indecisiveness on the matter of how to keep his Thaneship.

 

"No, I don't mind at all."

 

"Oh, alright then," her voice conveyed her surprise and uncertainty.

 

"Look," they stopped just outside of their destination, "you and I got off to a rough start. I hope now that you understand why I kept you under guard and wished for you to remain here."

 

The fight had left her, whatever was on her mind seemed to be more distressing. "I do understand... now. But," there was always a 'but' with her, "how was I to know I could trust you? You were just as much as a stranger to me as Svarah. Why--" she grunted in frustration, "why are we still arguing about this? I'm here now and I want to help. Isn't that enough for you?"

 

He kept his voice level, trying not to allow their conversation to descend into its usual level of argument, "The survival of the Hold, and perhaps all the Avvar, depends on us. You can't just 'want' to help, you have to help."

 

A stern resolve took root in her eyes, "I know that the pressure is on you as much as it is on me to right things. We won't fail them." They wearily held each other's eyes with shared determination at the task ahead of them, a task that would start tomorrow in full at the war council. Walking to the door he knocked and waited for Dusan to answer. As if always expected, Dusan stepped out to let them in. When he told her he'd wait outside until her business was concluded, she huffed at him, "No, if you and I are doing this together then let there be no secrets. We promised to tell one another the truth, so you're coming too." She was right, but there would still be things he'd not tell her... for now. Nodding the two headed in past the aging Augur, who gave Cullen a pleasantly surprised look at their new dynamic. He was almost sorry he had been right about everything and that she learned her lesson the hard way. Almost.

 

 ***

Inside the Augur's hut, Evelyn stood fidgeting with her hair before the two imposing men. The Thane, though visibly tired and hungry, waited as patiently as he could for her to explain why they were there. Having bags of a different sort than Cullen's under his eyes, Augur Dusan rested two timeworn hands on the skull adorning the top of his staff. Without the Hold Spirits to crowd the room, the wooden shack was quiet as were the many runed bone chimes dangling from above.

 

"Augur, do you know why I'm here?"

 

A sympathetic smile spread on his face, "I do indeed. How is it I may help, Phoenix?" Like a ton of bricks falling, her countenance changed in a few blinks of an eye. She had all day to think as yet again she needed Rylen's assistance and the pressure of her thoughts needed to be relieved. Tears sprung forth wetting her face and her fidgeting turned to gentle shaking. She rubbed a hand on her heart trying to speak of the pain in which she felt but nothing came. The man's hand carefully reached out to grasp her shoulder, "It is not an easy thing to be forsaken by those to whom you've worshipped and revered all your life. I can tell that you believed and loved your Maker with all your heart, and to be so utterly betrayed has left you hurting." She sniffled back a woeful sob, wanting to hear his words, aching for spiritual comfort. "Faith has always been a test regardless of what one believes. Many feel abandoned by their divine power when they experience a form of loss or misfortune, but unlike in your case, they don't usually receive direct communication from another such power." Her breathing calmed even as tears still ran. The touch of his hand on her radiated with soothing magic unlike she had ever encountered. She wondered at what his mama's connection was to their faith, for only mages were made Augurs. "Hakkon was frightening, yes?" She nodded her head still distracted by the magic that was flowing into her. His mouth gave a crooked smile, "Our gods are old and do not elude the warm unconditional love of the Lowlander god."

 

At that she choked on a laugh, "That's an understatement. He tried to squish me like a bug, but to be fair I may have sassed him."

 

The men shared in a low chuckle. "Why am I not surprised? You are the only woman I know who would purposely provoke a god, and Hakkon no less," the Thane sighed to himself shaking his head amusingly at her.

 

"Well, if you survived the encounter I'd say that speaks well of what Hakkon thinks of you." That was certainly putting things mildly. "Our gods do not seek to frighten us, but make us stronger. They love us by teaching us to endure, rather than by gifts and blessings." 

 

"And what of prophecy? He said they brought me here."

 

"Did you ask Him that?"

 

"He said I was plucked away from living a mundane life to come here where I'd be more useful."

 

"Just as our clan fights for one another, so too do our gods. Our spirits did say it was Korth Mountain-Father who over-exerted his influence to bring you here. Did you have a purpose in your old life, Phoenix?"

 

"I did, but... I realize now after talking with Lord Hakkon how crushing and suffocating that life was. What I hoped and dreamed I'd accomplish, in the end, wouldn't have mattered. Mages will always be prisoners in the Circles and people will always fear what they cannot understand. Here, I'm free to have a life while being useful. That's all I want to do with this magic I've been born with. And for once it'd be nice to live without people looking at me as if I'm an abomination, that I should repent and feel shame for who and what I am." She looked at the glowing mark on her hand, "Hakkon unlocked my power, he didn't want it contained as the Senior Enchanters had taught me to do."

 

The Augur released her shoulder, "Aye, and even then, our mages felt your great presence, but now it's different, its..." he searched for the right words, "brilliant. Before it felt angry, as if it were a caged beast, lashing out at every change in your emotions. Now, it's fluid, smooth and yet, should you call it forth it would ignite with a force unlike that which the Avvar has seen."

 

She closed her eyes, touching her mana, hearing the truth of his words. It was wild and raw but the rage which gripped it seemed to have been tempered. Even her chest felt lighter, her breathing easier as if it was a constant strain to have to hold her power in check. The Templars and her instructors clearly feared her magic, thus making her put up a wall around her power. And maybe then it was a good and necessary precaution to take until she learned to tame it, but as a grown woman and experienced mage they were clearly not needed. She would've never known this about herself should she have stayed in Ostwick.

 

"Thank you, Augur. I feel more at peace now." The man rubbed her back and spoke softly about how if she grappled with such questions his door was always open to her.

 

It was late and the two hungry travelers made their way back to the Rutherford's longhouse in silence. She sensed he was giving her some space, which was needed as she embraced the quiet evening. In the distance, she heard the merriment of the Mead Hall and the occasional murmuring of conversations as people began to turn in for the evening. The night was clear and the air stilled no doubt preparing for snow.

 

She hadn't time to worry herself about going inside the home of the Thane as he opened the door and they walked in. The interior was warm with a central fire pit, as all their buildings had. Around the rectangular room were tables and chairs, shelves of assorted things, hunting trophies and weapons. There was a corner dedicated to food preparation with a grindstone, storage barrels, racks of dried herbs, pots and bowls.

 

Sitting by one of the tables lit by candlelight was the youngest of the two Rutherfords. Rosalie popped up, covering a yawn. She remembered Mia mentioning that the fair petite woman ran the Thane's household. And all three living under the same roof could only mean that they did so because all were unmarried. Further back at the end was a set of doors and to the left was another wing, presumably where they slept. It was truly a simple unfrivolous lifestyle, unlike that which she had known back home growing up at the sprawling Trevelyan estate.

 

"Come and sit, I'll get you two food. Bran, get them drinks." She followed Cullen over to a wooden table with four chairs where sat a bowl of bread and hard cheese. Rosalie was efficient, placing the bowls of hot stew down before they had a chance to sit. "How is it I never noticed how tall you were until standing here in my own home?"

 

"Oh, um," she didn't quite know how to respond other than by smoothing down her the tears of her shirt, having forget too lost in thought that she had yet to find a new shirt and pants. "Oh," she repeated though in a disappointed tone at her appearance. She suddenly wished they had a looking glass to view the state of her hair.

 

"You can borrow a shawl from me, let me fetch it."

 

She looked at the younger woman with sheepish gratitude, "You are a treasure, Rosalie. It seems I'm destined to be in your debt for all of time."

 

"I don't know what I'd do without her," Cullen almost whispered as he sipped the hot stew. "Do you have family Trevelyan?"

 

She stared at him for a split second surprised that he actually asked her about herself for once, "I do. My parents, two brothers and two sisters all live in the Free Marches."

 

Branson leaned an elbow on the table, "Are they all mages as well?"

 

The idea of her mother having to suffer through having all five of her children turn out to be mages made her laugh, "No, I'm the only one. I'm sure my mother would've rather tried converting a Qunari away from the Qun than having another child who was a mage."

 

A look passed between the brothers and Rosalie returned draping the shawl over Evelyn's shoulders, "Our mother was a mage, but none of us were blessed with her abilities." She eyed the three with wonder, having never heard anyone speak of wishing they had been born with magic.

 

She couldn't help but smile sadly, "That must've been nice having a mother so talented. My mother to this day has yet to accept my powers. For the first two years I was in the Circle, she refused to speak to me or to allow me to go home for the holidays. Thankfully, my father intervened and brought me home one day himself. The look on my mother's face…" The others didn't know how to act, so she dispelled the lingering tension, "At least she couldn't marry me off or confine me in a cloister for the rest of my days. This is," popping her palm open a flame sparked to life in it, "is better." Shutting her fist, the flame went out and she continued to work on her stew.

 

"You must miss your family greatly," Rosalie looked lovingly at her older brothers, "I cannot imagine life without these two or Mia and her family." Evelyn looked up to share a warm knowing look with the young woman who indeed seemed to have powers to read people's emotions.

 

"I do. I wonder what they think of me or what the Chantry has told them. I wish I could write to them, at least put my father's mind at ease. To think of what this must be doing to him…" As she trailed off, Branson and Rosalie tilted their heads over to look at Cullen pleadingly. In the middle of sipping his stew, his eyes darted to one then the other before coming to rest on her.

 

He placed the bowl down with a clunk and a sigh, "I'll see what I can do. Write your letter and I'll try to convince one of our dwarven contacts to deliver it."

 

Hope and astoundment were laced in her voice and grin, "You would do that? That would mean the world to me."

 

He studied her face for a long moment holding her gaze with his honeyed eyes. Even as he reiterated that he'd try and there was no guarantee, that was more than enough for her. For the rest of the meal, Branson got the Thane caught up on the goings on around the Hold, all the while he and Evelyn exchanged shy glances. She was so wrapped up in drafting the contents of the letter in her head, his careful study of her didn't seem to faze her.

 

When they finished and sleep beckoned to her, she stood to say her goodbyes, but was stopped by her hostess, "Cullen, surely you aren't going to let her walk back now? Let her stay with me tonight. She has to come over here in the morning anyway."

 

He stretched his neck to the side, "Ros…" Evelyn held her hands up as her words stuttered, trying not to be a burden, but she was shushed by Rosalie who continued to reason with her brother. Naturally, she won out, as the man seemed to never be able to say no to her. "She can stay if that's what she wants, though it may be for the best if you get an early start to making her a new coat." He turned to her now, "I require your presence at the council meeting tomorrow to discuss plans to heal the land and rid ourselves of the darkspawn." She nodded and Rosalie thanked her brother pressing a kiss to his temple. They reminded her of her own older brothers who, while tough on her, would move the earth for her.

 

The ladies said goodnight and retired to Rosalie's room which was in the small wing of the house. As they walked to the narrow hall, she turned back to see that the large room at the end of the longhouse belonged to the Thane. He opened the large doors and pulled his pack into the doorway to unpack pulling out the contents and quickly piling them on the floor just inside his room.

 

Clicking the door shut, the blond pulled out two simple wool nightgowns, one lavender and the other pale blue. They were soft, having been well worn and she apologized for having to offer Evelyn the older, more stretched-out purple one, but the size difference between the two women was such the nightgown was still short and tight on her. Happy that she no longer wore torn and dirty clothes, she replied gratefully that it was of no consequence, it wasn't as if she'd be walking about in it. When she pulled off her clothes, Rosalie took one look at her dirty skin and immediately set to helping her wash with a cloth.

 

"Rosalie, I'm--"

 

"Call me Ros, Evie."

 

She laughed, "No one has called me that in a long time."

 

"I like it, so long as you don't mind, " she shook her head. It was the nickname her brothers gave her.

 

"What I was going to say is that you have your hands full, I can wash myself."

 

"It'll be quicker this way," Evelyn quirked up an eyebrow, "I may have had another reason for asking you to stay with me tonight."

 

"Oh really, is this one of those secrets you mentioned that you keep from your brothers?" Their eyes glowed conspiratorially in the low candlelight.

 

Rosalie couldn't suppress the wide grin on her face, "Yes, and don't worry I will count this as one of those favors you owe me." As she finished with her back, she moved to her front wiping at the healed cuts.

 

"Does this have the potential of getting me in trouble with the Thane?" She shrugged at first then hesitantly nodded, "Well, not to worry agitating your brother is sort of my thing, why stop now? So what's the plan, let me guess, sneaking out to see a lover?"

 

"Is it that obvious?"

 

She gave a closed-lip chuckle, "Painfully, and you want me to act as the alibi, right?"

 

"Please, I never get to spend time with him because he's always with my brother." The mage's eyes narrowed, knowing that there were three men whom she had always seen him in the company of: Branson, Dorian and Rylen. It was obviously not Branson, and she had her suspicions about Dorian, so that left…

 

"Your lover is your brother's best friend?! Rylen?"

 

"Shh, these walls are not as thick as they look! Yes, it is, please don't tell!"

 

"I wouldn't dream of it, but Ros," she felt she needed to give some friendly advice, "you're both betraying his trust sneaking around like this and it'll only make things worse if you're caught."

 

"I know, Cullen is just overly protective and I'm afraid to leave him alone here all by himself. I think he would eventually approve of me seeing Rylen, but I truly don't tell him because I don't think he'd take care of himself if I left to run my own house."

 

Her brow creased, "He's a grown man, why couldn't he?" She slipped the nightgown over her head and stretched it down over her hourglass form.

 

She sighed heavily, indicating that there was a long explanation that she didn't want to get into, "The gods have not been kind to him, and I just couldn't bear it if something happened to him or if he thought I was abandoning him." Evelyn took in her words carefully trying to glean any clues as to the meaning behind her words. The only word which stuck out was 'abandoning.' She found it odd that he'd have abandonment issues with his personality which tended to keep people at a distance.

 

Before they could continue, a soft knock on the window above her nightstand interrupted them. She saw Rylen peer in and his face immediately took on one of horror upon seeing her. Rosalie opened the window motioning for him to come closer, explaining her plan.

 

"Lass, I'm trusting ye that you won't utter a word about this. Not until we can tell Cullen."

 

"I understand the stakes, you've nothing to fear from me. In fact, I'm probably the best one to cover for you. I'm not sure his opinion of me can be much lower, so there's no harm done."

 

He gave her a warning look, "That's not his opinion of you." He held his arms out helping his lover out of the window. "He wants to be able to work with you, but you never give him a break." Taken back by the comment, she stared at him with a bit of mortification.

 

"Quit it, you two can talk about this tomorrow!" Ros harshly whispered, "Let's go, thanks Evie!" She waved and Evelyn shut the window as quietly as she could behind her.

 

Climbing into bed, she couldn't help but be stuck on Rylen's words. It had her feeling a bit guilty, especially after Rosalie talked about 'how the gods have not been kind to him.' A knot of shame and regret formed in her chest, especially after he offered to go through the trouble of finding a courier to deliver her letter. And the way he looked at her then, something had shifted within him. Despite trying to understand this puzzling Thane, the Fade claimed her quickly. Her exhaustion barely allowed her to register Rosalie's return, only remembering pulling the covers up higher at the icy air that blew in with her followed by a small warm form beside her. Sometime later she awoke to the chilling sounds of someone yelling and pleading. Both women sat up startled, listening to the bangs and singular voice speaking into the void.

 

"It's just Cullen, he has nightmares. It'll stop soon."

 

"That is not a nightmare, that's a night terror! Someone should go wake him!"

 

"No, he hates that. It'll be alright."

 

Evelyn was standing at the door before she knew it, "Ros, he could seriously injure himself! You're telling me you just let him ride it out?" Tiredness and worry took the brightness of her face away, and her eyes moved back and forth thinking. Evelyn took a few quick steps to grasp her hand trying to convey the seriousness of her words, "I've suffered from night terrors too, I know what I'm talking about. He needs to be woken up."

 

"But, he said--"

 

"Well, good thing I never listen to him," and out the door she flew to his room. Traversing her way through the main room, she banged on the door seeing if that would stir him into some form of lucidness. When it didn't and she heard the thud of a body hitting the floor she charged in.

 

Next to the bed was a large lump under some blankets moving erratically. She called his name to no effect and started peeling back the blankets one by one. After the heavy bear pelt was off of him, his words became muffled and strained. She could see his elbows lashing out and his hands were busy doing something as he grunted beneath a large wool blanket. He was tangled in the thick fabric from all the tossing and turning he must've been doing in bed. As she pulled it away, she watched as it revealed that it was twisted tightly around his neck and one arm. In the faint light, the contrast of the dark red blanket against his pale skin made it look as if he was being strangled by a giant snake. Evelyn cursed and quickly jumped in to free him of the snare. To make matters worse, his head was even obscured by a layer of blanket, and she knew he had to be having trouble breathing. He didn't make it easy fighting both her and the blanket with swings of his free arm and powerful kicks. The only thing that saved her from the crippling blows was the fact that the blanket tethered him to the bed restricting his range.

 

Finding a loose corner of the blanket, she set immediately to loosen the hold it had on him. Though unsure if he was still dreaming or if he was awake and disoriented, he was starting to weaken. Working as quickly as he let her, all the while thrashing about, she finally uncoiled it from his neck and threw it off of his face. He gasped for air falling onto his back flat against the floor. Scrambling to his side, she could tell he was awake as he greedily sucked in each breath. When his head turned and he saw her, his eyes widened and he sat up, "You shouldn't be here."

 

She frowned at him, "That's what you're worried about? You're lucky I was here or you would've died, idiot!" His signature scowl appeared and he looked about him. One part of the blanket was still wrapped around his shoulder tightly and he tore it from him angrily. She continued to stare at him with relief and irritation while he ran a hand back and forth through his moist hair. The ends of his blonde locks were beginning to curl from the heat and sweat he had worked up. Not noticing it before, her eyes roamed down his body seeing he wore only loose dark breeches. He brought his knees up resting his elbows on them looking back over to her, who was studying the thick scar scored across the left side of his ribs.

 

"Where's Ros?"

 

"In the room where I left her, too afraid to disobey you even as you affixiate yourself." She didn't mean for it to sound harsh, but her nerves were still shaken. He hung his head between his arms still calming his breathing. She couldn't help but repeat the seriousness of the situation, "Cullen, you could've died." He paled a bit when his face turned back up, looking aggrieved. She sighed dispelling her anger before speaking again, "You need to let them wake you up from your night terrors, I have experience with this, trust me."

 

"You knew someone who was cursed with this too?"

 

"Yes, me." A look of pain passed between them and she sat down beside him copying his position, "I still do occasionally." They stared straight ahead, too proud and stubborn to show the other weakness. They sat there like that for a while, before she got up and headed to pour him some water from a pitcher on a table off to the side. He eyed her timidly, something she never expected to see from him. Rosalie's words about needing to take care of him all of a sudden made sense. Before her sat a strong man, who had endured something horrific and was still trying to understand it. When he absently finished his water, she walked her fingers across his broad shoulders and gently tugged his head down on her shoulder. He didn't resist in his trancelike state just staring out into the darkness with unblinking eyes. After a few minutes, he was coming to and she released him so he could sit up. The look on his face was one of shame, not able to meet her gaze even as she tried to put herself in his line of sight. Without another word, she helped him up, tucked him back into bed and left.

 

At the mouth of the hall to the other two bedrooms, Rosalie and Branson waited with nervous looks. "He needs to be woken up when he has night terrors," she said it loud and commanding enough so Cullen would be able to hear, "He could've killed himself. If you love him, you won't listen to him and will go to him when you hear it. Understand?" They nodded, unwilling to test her judgment on the matter, and all headed back to bed for a few more hours.

 

By the time the women awoke and Branson had left for her home to fetch clean clothes, the Thane had already left for morning training. Happy not having to discuss what transpired, she was free to try and forget it, being none of her business what kind of trauma he had suffered to cause them. Instead, while they were alone, Evelyn asked after Rosalie's romantic rendezvous, receiving a cheeky grin in response that only made the morning sheen on her face glow more. "I'm surprised he had the energy after carrying me halfway across the Basin the past two days."

 

"Avvar men have remarkable stamina, as you may one day find out." They shared in a laugh, but Evelyn's was more bitter thinking back to the men of Stone-Bear Hold.

 

"Unfortunately, I almost did." The mirth on her friend's face slowly faded to an apologetic mope, "Oh, it's alright, it wouldn't have been my first time had they caught me." She clapped a hand to her mouth suddenly realizing her slip as the two looked at each other in horror.

 

"W-What did you say?" The beauty's eyes were wide and Evelyn felt guilty tainting her innocence with her thoughtless omission.

 

They both spoke at the same time, "That was stupid of me to-- I shouldn't have--," "You were raped?!" "Forget I said anything!" "Gods, I can't believe--," "Please, Ros! Don't say a word about it!"

 

The fragile emotional state of Rosalie Rutherford shattered into pieces as she watched helplessly to stop them from overwhelming her, "Ros, look at me I'm fine. Aren't I?" She sobbed an 'I'm sorry' back to her. Evelyn rubbed her shoulders reassuringly, "It was years ago, I'm fine." The haunting mantra she used to tell herself back then echoed in her mind, I'm fine, I'm fine. It had been a while since the night terrors gripped her, finally believing she had put it all behind her. "Come on, Bran will be back soon and he can't see you like this without questioning us." Her brown eyes blinked out a few more tears before she stifled the rest back in an attempt to compose herself. Knowing from experience that keeping oneself busy and distracted by painful thoughts helped keep emotions in check, she convinced Rosalie to start on her new cloak.

 

Rosalie outfitted her with a new hide and fur cloak in a delicate silence. Thankfully, Branson returned cheerily as usual holding an armful of rumpled clothes. When he opened the door, she was startled to see Aysel standing against the home across the dirt path from theirs. She had been watching him and she bit back a laugh at what must be going through her estrogen-fueled head. He shook out the simple wool dress she had worn on her first night in the Hold when she was presented to the clan, "I hope you don't mind I chose this one. It was always my favorite when it was--" Rosalie gave him a stern look that stopped him in his tracks. "Um…"

 

"When it was whose?" Evelyn asked with a cautious curiosity as he handed it to her.

 

"It was… Aysel's when she lived with us." Both Rutherfords avoided her suspicious stare as she scrutinized them carefully. Evelyn hummed a 'uh huh' and left to change into it. Unsure if it was the lie or the truth - though the woman herself glaring at Bran as he returned was intriguing - she once again settled it in her mind as it was none of her business… even if the dress was too large for the slight lithe frame of Aysel.

 

When it was time for her to leave for the Great Hall for the meeting, she thanked them one last time before stepping out looking quite regal in terms of Avvar fashion thanks to Rosalie's skill with fabric. She even had time to alter "Aysel's" former dress to fit her better. Not more than a few steps out their door, the woman herself caught up with her.

 

"Evelyn, would you have a moment to spare for a chat?"

 

"Not unless you can walk and talk at the same time. I need to get to the Great Hall for the council meeting." It was a short walk but she didn't want to be late for her first meeting.

 

"Well, well, moving up in the world rather quickly, aren't we? Tell me, does it have to do with all the time you're spending at the Thane's?"

 

She scoffed, "No, it doesn't--," then she stopped dead in the middle of the busy market out front of the Great Hall. "Were you spying on us last night?" Her face became unreadable as her mother had schooled her in her youth when dealing with women such as this. Though Evelyn had nothing to hide, the youngest Rutherford had snuck out a window to be with no other than her brother's right-hand man. She needed to tread carefully and find out just what she saw.

 

"As if you're all that interesting, not even the Thane wanted to speak with you on your way back from the Augur's hut."

 

Her eyes turned to steel with a razor edge to them, "I suggest you not spy on me and the Thane in the future if you still want him to have a good opinion of you. He's not one for games, which you seem to enjoy playing. How do you think he'd react if he knew you were outside his home watching his family all night?" She chose her words meticulously to see if she'd fall for giving her more information about how long she had been out there.

 

Aysel huffed turning her head in annoyance to the side, "Please, as I said, you're not that interesting. Besides, I merely happened by and was headed the same way. As if I'd wait out in the cold only to see you go home alone."

 

She couldn't help the smug grin sliding up her face, "Oh, well you see, I didn't go home last night." The woman's jaw sagged slowly in unison with her brow, "Didn't you see Branson returning with clothes for me?" A hand parted her cloak before wrapping it back around herself. She noted that Aysel said nothing about the dress, for if it was indeed hers, she would've expected her to have remarked on it… curious. Nothing more needed said, she had been taught sometimes the worst kind of torture is not knowing. No doubt in her mind, Aysel was doing just that wondering which of the Rutherfords she spent the night with.

 

The village gossip looked positively livid, "Be careful, Phoenix. You will not want to anger me, you're still a Lowlander and one that has insulted our hospitality. You'd do well to distance yourself from the Rutherfords or--"

 

"Let me stop you right there," Evelyn raised her chin high and took the weight off of the one hip she had been resting on. Now at full height, she took a small step closer to Aysel lowering her head and avian gaze on her. Her molten core pumped fire up her veins more intensely than before, mostly likely courtesy of Hakkon. In the reflection of the woman's large pale green eyes, she could see her own eyes flickered orange, that's new, she thought. Refocusing she continued, "If you wish to threaten me, you leave the Rutherfords out of it. You want to play games, let's play, but just you and me. Is that understood?" As she snarled at the woman who was attempting to hold her resolve but was crumbling under the heat of the Phoenix, out of the corner of her eye she caught Cullen and Rylen watching them. They slowed their walk as they studied her face with frowns - Aysel's being faced away from them not having noticed them - and she immediately retracted her lethal gaze and doused her fiery mana.

 

When Aysel broke her gaze away to look at what had caught her eye, Evelyn simply strode away to follow the men inside. The Thane lingered in the doorway, holding it open for her, all the while carefully watching Evelyn's face. When inside he asked, "What was that about?"

 

"She was simply welcoming me back." He gave her a curt pointed look, and though she knew he wasn't going to believe her, she gave an innocent shrug before following him to their meeting place. Rylen had scurried off ahead to talk to Cassandra, leaving the two alone for the long walk across the room. She slipped off her new cloak placing it on the single chair upon the dais, where there had been tables for her welcome feast. Turning back to him, he seemed to be lost in his thoughts staring at her dress. "Something the matter?"

 

Blinking a few times, he seemed to have pulled himself back from a faraway place, "Yes-- I mean, no, my mind was somewhere else."

 

"Having to do with last night?" He opened his mouth but no words came out, so she waved a hand to stop him from trying, "Forget I said anything, that's your business, not mine."

 

"Did you mean it when you said you had night terrors too?"

 

She nodded gravely, "Yes, mine are usually triggered by… certain conditions." His eyes stared off again, but she placed a hand on his arm with a gentle squeeze, "I believe they are waiting for us," hoping to distract his mind away from whatever horror kept him from the present. They shared a sigh and continued on neither wanting to talk any more about it. It was enough that there was another human who understood the struggle without having to put it into words.

 

The great carved wooden map sat in the room directly at the back of the Hall. A skylight from above shone bright daylight in from above. She had never seen craftsmanship such as this, as the gradients of the terrain were carved into it. Snowcapped peaks, valleys, that gods forsaken bog, it was all detailed on the large stump of the tall trees she saw in the swamp. Burned marks artfully detailed features and the other Avvar Holds. She studied it in the hopes that she'd better understand the basic geography of the Frostback Basin in case she ever got lost again. The Basin was larger than she thought it was and while it shouldn't have been a surprise, she noted a number of entrances to dwarven Thaigs. For the amount of outside goods they had, it made sense that that was how they were acquiring them.

 

Around the war table stood Augur Dusan, Dhara, Cassandra and Rylen all waiting for them. When he entered behind her, they all clapped a fit to their chest in salute. She wasn't surprised by his lack of ceremony as he dove right into business, "Anything urgent to report?" The Thane scooped up a stack of parchment, and up until now, she believed them to be illiterate aside from the mage's meager collection of tomes. Everyone stood in silence while he perused the scouting reports, "What's this about Templars being seen by Wolf-Fang Hold?" Evelyn's blood ran cold.

 

Cassandra offered up an explanation, "They were seen entering his territory days ago, but they haven't been seen since. Knowing Thane Axlan they are most likely dead. Leliana has yet to report anything, yet another reason to think they have been eliminated."

 

She only heard him grunt, unaware of his stare as a mixture of feelings swirled within her, "Phoenix?"

 

A look of sorrow crossed her features, knowing full well why they were in the Basin. The profound sadness was not entirely due to them meeting an unjust demise at the hands of Thane Axlan, but also because they were there to hunt her. Her soft square jaw tensed, "They were sent to find me. I'm honestly surprised it took them this long to do so. But why they would go there," pointing to the Hold on the map, "and not here is very strange."

 

"How so?"

 

"If they're here to hunt me they'd have my phylactery," their narrowed stares told her they didn't know what that was, "it's a bauble that holds my blood. They'll be using it to hunt me, but if they were, it should have led them straight here."

 

"What other business would Templars have in the Basin?"

 

She shook her head slowly, "None, that I know of." She and the Thane shared a look of concern.

 

"Cassandra, can we contact Leliana to have her look into it?"

 

The raven-haired warrior sighed, "We can try contacting her using the dead drop, but it's risky."

 

"Do it. I think this warrants the risk."

 

"Yes, my Thane."

 

"Now to the real business at hand, on the way back to the Hold, Trevelyan told me of what happened during her encounter with Hakkon and Thane Svarah Sun-hair." She listened to him recap the important highlights of her story to the others slightly surprised that he had paid such close attention.

 

"Let me see the mark," Dusan held out his hand and she allowed him to inspect it. That same odd rush of magic that flowed from him the other night felt as if it was coiling around her hand and wrist. His eyes were shut, but his lips muttered something in Avvish. The room suddenly felt crowded and claustrophobic, no doubt as the Hold's Spirits pressed in to see what Hakkon had scored on her skin. Cullen and Cassandra shifted uncomfortably at the change in the air, but everyone else didn't seem bothered by it. "Relax Phoenix, the Spirits only wish to help. Let them in."

 

"N-no! This goes against everything I know!"

 

"Wisdom wishes to feel the mark for himself, he will not linger long," his voice was calm and his eyes shut as he channeled them. She looked to Dhara who nodded pleadingly, then to Cullen who remained unreadable.

 

"Fine. Do it quick and then he leaves." With that, a rush of tingling cold enveloped her body. She began studying her hand not of her own volition. The panic in her mind at losing control of her limbs was calmed by Wisdom as he spoke to her in her own voice, "I know this is frightening for you, so I will be brief in my assessment of how far Hakkon has dug his claws into you." He studied her hand close to her face when he ignited her mark's power. Her arm up to the elbow transformed before their eyes to lava before he quelled it. As it retreated, the blacken limbed changed back to her skin. "Well, that's interesting, I don't feel a link to the Great Warrior himself. Was this a gift, Phoenix?" She explained telepathically that she prayed to him to help her defeat her enemies and this was the result. "I see. So it was truly a gift that he intends for you to use to help our people. Perhaps Lord Hakkon has had to step in with the Mountain-Father still recovering after bringing you here. The mark gives you the ability to cleanse the land." After a moment of silent contemplation, she gave a sharp gasp partially making everyone in the room jump, "Forgive me, Thane. Her power is like a raging maelstrom with a life of its own, it's a wonder how a mortal can withstand it. Your magic, Phoenix, is the reason you were brought here, for only your fire and your command of your mana could hope to wield this gift to fight the Blight that has tainted the earth." At the conclusion of her words, he left her body, true to his word and she shook out her limbs comforted by having control back.

 

A spark of resolve began to electrify her core knowing that for so long she was meant for something more, now knowing and understanding what that something is. "Do we know what areas have been affected by the Blight's taint?"

 

"Only within Redhold, here," Cullen pointed to all the areas that have been void of life, "here and here."

 

"But what of the source?" Rylen interjected, "What is to stop the taint from spreadin' even after she cleanses the land?"

 

"For that, we'll need a Grey Warden. Otherwise, it could take us years to hunt down the source, especially if we need to go and exterminate more darkspawn. Do you know of one?"

 

"No, but we can send someone to the nearby Thaig and ask. The Grey Wardens often visit the Deep Roads, there is bound to be one who would come if asked. I'll take care of it." The Thane nodded to her, his eyes brightening with hers at finally having some direction and purpose to end their hardship. "It'll probably take a week or two for the Warden to arrive if we can find one. In the meantime, we can assist you in cleansing the blighted areas with our territory so we can begin to cultivate the land and send our animals out to pasture once more."

 

"What of the other Holds? They'll need their lands purged of the Blight as well."

 

"I'll have to send missives to the other Thanes to arrange a meeting, which will also take time." For once, he wasn't telling her 'no' or that it "wasn't possible.' It was such a refreshing change she couldn't help the glow on her face, which became contagious to those around her, including Cullen's whose eyes were alight with something she had yet seen from the scowling Thane. They had a plan and they had hope. It was more than they had in some time and much to her relief, she was actually starting to fulfill this prophecy that months ago had been pure lunacy to her.

 

After the meeting, Cassandra and Dhara cornered her outside to request her company later that day. Dhara wished to meditate and have tea, while Cassandra convinced her to come with her to the training ground to test her mettle. As word spread quickly, much like in the Circle, her foster clan relaxed in her judgment of her hearing of her discovery and plan to help them. Instead of glares she was simply ignored or given a polite nod. She hadn't performed any miracles yet, so there was still much speculation, but things were looking up and for the first time in a long time she was content.