Advantage

After one of the genin stupidly started demanding an explanation as to what happened to his testing paper, Ibiki finally asked the tenth question. If anyone failed the tenth question, they (and their teammates) would never be allowed to advance to the rank of Chuunin. Any who wished to opt out was allowed to do so, failing their teammates. Ibiki thought that he had tormented the genin quite enough.

"All of you who have stayed... You pass."

"What!?" screamed out several of them.

"All of you who remain have passed the first part of the Exam. It's quite simple. The information-gathering exercise was to weed out those who were far too obvious in their attempts to spy. Unfortunately, I do believe that my nephew found a loophole in the system." Ibiki paused while Naruto laughed. "Regardless, the ones who were left at the end were then given a choice: accept a mission with the possibility of death or back down and not get paid. Chuunin, as squad leaders, are expected to make these decisions. All who left before I asked the final question will be allowed to compete again in six months, but the rest of you advance. Now, the next proctor for the Exams is-"

Glass shattered, interrupting Ibiki. A woman jumped through the broken window, four kunai flew out, a banner was pulled up, and the woman began a speech.

"I am the sexy kunoichi Mitarashi Anko, Proctor for the second part of the Chuunin Exams!"

"Auntie Anko!"

"Oh, hello Naruto. Anyway, you are all to meet me just outside of Training Ground 44 in thirty minutes or your team automatically fails. MOVE IT, MAGGOTS!"

"Hear that? We're all going to be flies when we grow up!" exclaimed Naruto.

"You would all make for interesting etymological specimens," muttered Shino, causing Naruto to crack up.

"Boys," retorted Hinata, stealing the thought out of the minds of every female present.

Training Ground Number 44 a.k.a. "the Forest of Death"

A-Class Secret Training Ground

Danger Level: High

Mortality Rate: High

Survival Rate: Low

Chosen Site for Part 2 of the Chuunin Exams: Yes

Anko's most Favorite Place in the Whole World: Very Yes

Location: Near the Uzumaki Estate (formerly known as Training Ground Number 45)

Likelihood of Any of this Information Having Any Significance to this Story: 67 Percent

"You have to sign these waivers if you are going to continue. This next part will be a survival exam and it will cut the number of teams down by at least half. At least half of those teams will be disqualified simply because at least one of their team members will be dead. Now there are two different scrolls. Some teams will be given the Heaven Scrolls, and the others will receive the Earth Scrolls. Your objective is to get to the tower in the center of the Forest of Death with at least one of each scroll, both of which must remain unopened. You have five days from the start to the finish. Any questions?"

One genin dumbly raised his hand. "Is killing allowed?"

With a goodly amount of Killer Intent, Anko stared him down. "Is the sky blue?"

"Naruto-san," Shino said, gaining the clown's attention. "What is our plan for this?"

"You two set up traps around the tower. Using the various underground routes that my family has made around here in secret, I'm going hunting. Oh, here's a map of those routes. Both of you should memorize it well."

Shino and Hinata stared at the paper for several minutes.

"I have it committed to memory," said the Aburame.

"I also have the map memorized," stated the Hyuga heiress.

"Good." Electricity crackled in his hands and the map burst into flame. "Use those routes to your advantage. We'll meet up at tunnel thirteen in three days."

"Hai," replied Hinata.

"Wakatta," replied Shino.

Naruto collected their Earth Scroll from Anko before the Exam began.

While Team 7 was busy dealing with Orochimaru, Naruto was rushing through the trees. He found a team from Kumo discussing plans near one of the exits to his extensive tunnel network. He quickly entered the tunnel from a different entrance and silently exited behind one of the genin. He was enshrouded by natural shadows. He used his version of the Juuken to disable the poor sap's arms before he had a chance to react. As Naruto pulled his hands away from his victim's shoulders, he attached chakra strings to them.

What the Kumonin's teammates saw was the poor boy began strangling himself.

"Hey, doesn't he have the scroll?"

"Yeah, he does. Why is he choking himself?"

Scroll, huh?

Naruto blatantly left his cover, making a "sneaky" tiptoeing motion to get back to his victim. He reached the boy and pulled a scroll out of the Kumonin's weapons pouch. It was the Heaven Scroll.

"So they were right," he whispered quite loudly. "He did have the scroll."

He then "snuck" away in the same manner. The two Kumonin shared a look before attempting to rush the blonde, only to have their choking teammate suddenly let go and grasp the both of them by the necks.

"I'm sorry!" he gasped. "I have no control over my arms!"

All he could do was watch as he strangled his teammates to death before his hands returned to his own neck.

One team from Kusa (Grass) unwittingly fell into one of the traps that Shino and Hinata had set up. They were carrying both scrolls.

Shino and Hinata were ecstatic about the fact that they had passed their team by themselves. They just hoped that Naruto wouldn't get too carried away in his... merrymaking.

Kiba managed to kill the snake that had tried to eat him with his Tsuuga (Piercing Fang) only to be attacked by a second one. Being already pissed, the Inuzuka boy Tsuuga'd the second serpent, sending it back to the realm of summons, rather than offing it.

He rushed back to his teammates, determined to help them. Especially Sakura-chan.

Unfortunately for a team from Ame, Naruto had found them and summoned the jackal Mojibake, a master illusionist and a proficient shapeshifter.

Mojibake, having an extremely sick sense of humor, caused Naruto to laugh and sing along to her illusion song that she had gotten the rain ninja stuck in. The genjutsu went something like this:

You can scream; you can cry; having to fight for your life!

See that girl; watch her scream! Stab at the SAUSAGE MEAT!

Friday night and morale is low!

Looking out; but no place to go!

Where they play the right game: going on killing!

You run from the bloody gore scene!

Anybody could be that guy;

His face is gone; slashed with a knife!

With a bit of skull bashin', everything is gone!

I'm in the mood for a bath;

And when I get the blood...

You are the SAUSAGE MEAT, young and sweet, only screaming EEEEEEEE!!

SAUSAGE MEAT, feel the beat from the bludgeoning!

You can scream; you can cry; having to fight for your life!

See that boy; watch him scream! Stab at the SAUSAGE MEAT!

You're a loser; you die tonight!

Leave you burning and then you're ash!

Looking out for another, anyone will do!

I'm in the mood for a bath;

And when I get the blood...

You are the SAUSAGE MEAT, young and sweet, only screaming EEEEEEEE!!

SAUSAGE MEAT, feel the beat from the bludgeoning!

You can scream; you can cry; having to fight for your life!

See that wimp; watch him scream! Stab at the SAUSAGE MEAT!

And with that, the last corpse fell down, dead. Naruto cracked up.

"Thank you," Naruto managed to gasp between bouts of laughter.

"You're welcome, darlin' clown pup. Do call again!"

And with a puff of smoke, she was gone.

Naruto pilfered another Heaven Scroll from his latest victims.

Of course Anko rushed into the Forest of Death when she saw the three genin that had their faces melted off. Orochimaru's work, no doubt. She had to kill him for leaving her behind. She had to kill him for ruining her life, for making her a monster in the eyes of the villagers. She wanted revenge so badly. Too bad that Orochimaru knew how to push all of her buttons. But there was some hope. She was being followed.

She attempted to use her suicidal jutsu, Soujasousai no jutsu (Twin Snakes' Mutual Death no jutsu), on him only to have his body be replaced with a mud clone. A mud clone!

"Oh come now, Anko-chan. My own jutsu against me? You must really hate me. You wound me, right here."

Of course he said that in such a mocking tone as he pointed towards his heart. It really got Anko's blood boiling.

But then Orochimaru leapt back. Had he moved an instant later, he would have been skewered by the live marlin that was stuck in the tree branch he had been standing on. Genuinely surprised, both snake-based ninja looked towards the thrower (based on the trajectory that the squirming swordfish was stuck in its position).

They saw a woman dressed in a jester costume of a black and red and white pattern. Around her waist was a hitai-ate for Konoha. There were also kunai and weapons pouches on her thighs. On her face was a psychotic grin. In her eyes: battlelust with a hint of intelligence.

Orochimaru was confused. Who was this kunoichi? Why was she dressed much like a clown? Why did she throw a fish at him? In fact, where had she kept the fish?

"Anko, dearie, is this that O-Roachy-Man you were talking about earlier?"

"Y-yes," stuttered the snake kunoichi.

The woman smirked. She made a cross-shaped seal with her fingers. "Kagebunshin!"

There were forty-two clown women at that time. They then attacked, throwing kunai, shuriken, and live fish at the snake man. He managed to dodge all of the projectiles and dispel most of the shadow clones before he got blindsided. The original clown woman had managed to hit him in the back with a gigantic mallet that she seemed to pull from somewhere behind her back.

Orochimaru laughed as he landed. He made several hand seals, planning on using the second Curse Seal implanting jutsu that he was able to perform that month. As his neck elongated, so did his canines. Unfortunately for the cold-hearted snake, the clown made some hand seals of her own, put her right arm into the air, and pivoted on her heel.

")Caustic Barrier( no jutsu!"

Needless to say, the snake man got a mouth full of acid. That hurt like HELL! Then, Orochimaru noticed that Anko was taking cover.

")Caustic Barrier Conversion: Caustic Bomb( no jutsu!"

Second face-full of acid in as many minutes. He was going to retaliate, when the clown gave him a boot to the head, sending him towards a tree which he dissolved into.

He stuck his mutilated face out of the tree to say the following: "Don't stop the exams or else I will kill all of the genin for the next five decades."

He was gone before a number of senbon embedded themselves into the tree in the place where he was in the shape of a smiley face.

"Harley?" asked Anko.

Harley was panting. "Whew! What a workout!"

A team from Iwa were Naruto's next set of victims. Odd that they called him the "Yellow Flash Reborn" as he quickly dispatched them.

The female died via an acid pie to the face. One of the males was twisted around into a pretzel-shape. The other male was pumped full of Type 2 Smilex. He died laughing about how the "Yellow Flash" had returned for revenge in the form of a laughing fox.

Naruto liked the sound of that. "Laughing Fox" certainly had a ring to it.

The pretzel genin happened to have an Earth Scroll.

Naruto laughed once he met up with Shino and Hinata. They had passed the exam three times over. They headed for the tower.

Once they exited the tunnels as close as they could get to the tower, Naruto noticed something and threw a kunai at it. It was a giant millipede. Naruto started eating its corpse along the way to the tower in order to gain the strength of its venom. Considering that neither Shino nor Hinata had enough of the Uzumaki bloodline to be immune to the venom, they didn't eat any of it.

All things considered, Kiba knew that his team should be dead. They faced Orochimaru, the team from Oto, and still had to get another scroll. Thankfully Kabuto had helped them out. And then they survived that team from Ame due to the combined talents of Kabuto and Kiba. That was no easy walk in the park. But they barely made it and passed the exam.

"This final part of the exam will be done tournament style," stated Anko. "And I will not be the one in charge."

"Thank you my dear serpent," said a familiar voice with a rather sarcastic drawl. The owner of the voice entered the room. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Uzumaki Joker, known as the illustrious )Mr. J( in some circles." Some of the genin, especially the ones from Oto, began to sweat. "I will be the proctor for this final stretch of the exams. As expected, there are far too many of you, so we will have to eliminate some of you. But before we begin, any of you who do not feel up to fighting may turn their tails and leave. Any takers?"

The Hokage smacked his head. He just knew that Joker would do that, despite the fact that he had expressedly forbade him from making it seem like an honorable exit was a wimp's way out. Oh well.

Kabuto raised his hand and asked to leave. He said that his chakra was all gone (which Naruto, Joker, Hinata, Shino, and Kiba were pretty sure was a lie) and said that he wished to give up rather than be killed.

"What a disappointment," said Joker. "Well, we should begin the elimination rounds."