Chapter 8: Your Misfortune, for Some, Is a Kind of Fortune

???

I just asked a casual question; why such a deep reflection? Although Fumihiko Ikari didn't feel much from Emi Ibuki's words, he somewhat understood the meaning behind them. The Second Impact led to an apocalyptic disaster, killing half of the world's population. It seems like a simple statement, but it encompasses too much separation and death. Apart from a few chosen ones, almost everyone lost someone precious in this apocalypse; most people lost everything. For them, merely being alive is torment; just breathing feels like being in hell. To them, alcohol is the antidote, the world is purgatory, and hell would be paradise. Such words wouldn't be an exaggeration.

Sigh—

Everything was fine; why make me focus on these heavy topics? There are no intact eggs under an overturned nest... Everyone has a responsibility in the rise and fall of humanity... He understood these big truths since childhood, but before crossing over, he was just an ordinary person blending in with the crowd. Whether there was one more of him or one less wouldn't matter; at most, his presence would make people exclaim "so many people" when they saw the global population count. He was just concerned about how to live his own life.

Thinking too much only adds to the worries. I'm just an ordinary person... The most important thing is to live my own life well.

"Are you thinking of doing the same as Ishida U?"

"Aren't you the same? You were hospitalized for overwork not long ago; you must have been disappointed to be resuscitated, right?"

"..."

Fumihiko sighed, unsure of what to say. He could only be thankful that his family situation was complicated before he crossed over. His parents divorced when he was young, and he lived with his grandfather. He didn't have much feeling for his parents, and after his grandfather died shortly after he came of age, he had no one to care about except for a few friends. If it weren't for them... suddenly crossing over to this world, his mental state wouldn't be much better than Emi's. No, he wouldn't be as strong as Emi; he would definitely be devastated.

He would either try to commit suicide to return or completely lose his sanity.

As he glanced over the list of participants, his brows furrowed immediately.

"Why are there children on this list?"

"In experiments, we have to consider all factors as much as possible. Besides gender, we also need to consider whether age has an impact."

That reasoning made sense.

"But... eleven years old is too young! Are there people this young at the base?"

"Well—this does have something to do with you. I heard that this child was brought back by some external personnel who were helping you collect game consoles. She saw the recruitment information and signed up."

???

"An eleven-year-old child, who was nine two years ago, hasn't even graduated from elementary school and probably can't read fully. She doesn't have the ability to make her own decisions and shouldn't be involved in the experiment."

"No problem. You're the team leader, so your decision stands."

"And these two thirteen-year-olds are also too young. Were they brought from outside as well?"

"They are the children of internal staff members. Not long ago, an experiment accident resulted in the deaths of their parents. Since then, they've lost their will to live and have attempted suicide multiple times..." She paused before continuing, "Allowing them to participate might give them a reason to keep going."

"No, they're too young."

"Then you set an age range, and I'll find replacements accordingly."

Fumihiko recalled the age of the EVA pilots in the original series, and his face darkened immediately.

Damn... They were only fourteen, right? And they all had some form of autism.

Destroy it all—this world is really twisted.

"I... can't make that decision."

Emi shook her head. "Then let's remove the eleven-year-olds and set the minimum age at thirteen."

Fumihiko remained silent, unsure of what to say. He continued to flip through the list.

"Did you sign up too?"

"Of course! I proposed this project, so how can I not participate? I don't want to be seen as an evil scientist who only experiments on others. And if the experiment is successful, I might make a name for myself in history! Hmm... I hope they'll at least mention my name, right!?"

"…"

Looking at the list in his hands, Fumihiko struggled internally. He knew the solution. Implanting souls and creating the Rei series. The former had certain risks and unclear technological feasibility, while the latter, given that they had already created EVA, shouldn't be too difficult to produce the Rei series. But... the creation of the Rei series was destined to be a tragedy, like the Sisters in *A Certain Scientific Railgun*... It was just too sad.

I really am better suited to idling and playing games.

"Do you have any other questions?"

Facing Emi's inquiry, Fumihiko shook his head, unsure of what to say or even what to do. After hesitating for a moment, he finally couldn't help but ask, "… Can I resign?"

Emi was stunned, evidently not expecting such a question from Fumihiko.

"If you're tired from work lately, just take a break. I'll handle the work here for now."

Although he didn't receive a direct answer, the response was clear. 

After a moment of silence, he spoke up. "Can the compensation for tonight still be honored?"

"Of course, I was just joking. I'm not interested in kids who still cry."

Fumihiko nodded and left the office.

He disappeared for seven days, doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and playing games. He tried to relieve the heavy pressure on him, as he had always done when avoiding something before crossing over. But this time, the method didn't work; not even the games could alleviate the heavy pressure. His mind remained confused, still without answers.

He couldn't make a judgment... Suggesting the creation of the Rei series clones could reduce the number of human experiments, thus avoiding many detours in the research. But could clones be treated as expendable? Could their feelings be disregarded?

I'm only fit to be a factory worker.

"Why are you here?"

Faced with Emi's question, Fumihiko had no answer. He just felt suffocated and wanted to get some air, and before he knew it, he found himself at the lab.