T'was me madre!

Clearing his throat, Wade enters his home after spending the day at the Cullens; he had purposefully procrastinated so he wouldn't need to come home. Wade was already plenty aware that his mother was here; he could hear her breath.

"Get ready, Walter," Wade whispered to his butler, who was nowhere to be seen. "Dammit... he's abandoned me..."

Stealthy, Wade jumped onto the ceiling and began to make his way toward the living room, where his mother was in a spider-like fashion. Closing in on her, Wade stays on the ceiling, but with the sound of his mother speaking gently in a manner she usually doesn't, Wade listened closely.

"And that boy... He's always causing trouble." Liona sighed. "He's just up and moved into the United States just because he wanted."

From the opposite side of the phone, Liona was on, a deep and masculine voice replied. "Hahaha, he sounds great!"

"No... He's just like you; sporadic, chaotic, and does whatever the hell he wants..." The woman sighed as Wade listened in even closer; he'd completely silenced himself and even stopped breathing so his mother would continue talking; Wade was eavesdropping more than he had ever before.

Laughing in a genuinely amused and even happy tone, the man on the phone continued. "So he has some of my qualities? No wonder you love him so much, woman."

Expecting a scoff from his mother, who was disinterested in every man who came her way, Wade was surprised to hear his mother not even deny the man's words but laugh pleasantly. "Perhaps... and maybe if you come over... I'll show you-"

"STOP! OH GOD, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" Wade screamed in agony as he dropped from the ground in front of his mother, surprising her.

"Y-You! Don't speak freaky in front of you, son!" Wade continued as he pointed at Liona in an accusing manner; he hadn't ever heard his mother speak in a seductive and tempting tone like that, and to say he was grossed out was an ungodly understatement.

"Wade! You bastard!" Wade's mother shouted as she abruptly stood up; the sound of the man on the phone laughing echoed through the room they were in, proving just how loud the man was.

"Don't 'Wade! You bastard me!' Who're you speaking with, old lady?! You're not getting any dick with me around you, hag!" Wade continued.

"Come here now!" Liona shouted as she lunged at Wade, only for him to lean back and showcase his inhuman flexibility with a smirk on his face.

"You'll never catch me, old lady!" Wade shouted as he flipped onto the walls and dodged yet another attempt to grab him, all while the laughing from the man on the phone continued.

"Wade..." Liona said as she took a deep breath; this was her attempt to calm herself. "Sit down now."

"Okay," Wade replied as he sat down criss-cross-apple-sauce, but... he was on the wall.

Taking another deep breath as a vein popped on her forehead, Liona continued. "On the fucking sofa, BOY!"

Ready to stop giving his mother a hard time, Wade jumps down and sits on the sofa across from his fuming mother, but before she could scream at him for anything else, he spoke. "I found some girls I like."

Outside of the cackling man on the phone, silence fell in the room as Liona looked at Wade with a few differing expressions. From genuinely confused to complete shock, Liona showcased many emotions on her face that Wade hadn't seen from her.

"What? Can't I like someone?" Wade complained while relaxing on the sofa.

Taking a moment to regain her bearing, Liona replied. "No... I didn't imagine you as someone who 'likes' people."

Arching his brow at the implications of his mother's words, Wade continues. "Well... I don't blame you much for thinking that."

Rubbing his chin in, though, Liona's eyes widened as shock ran through her again; Wade had continuously surprised her since the phone call. Where did this new side of Wade come from? Why did he seem so... sensible? Or perhaps clear-minded?

"What happened, Wade?" Liona asked, her tone soft and calm yet strong, genuine, and serious. Liona didn't care for many people, but she loved her son more than anything else.

Grinning mischievously at his mother, Wade replied. "I told you, mamma, I found some girls I like."

"And because you 'like' them, you're... like this?" Liona replied immediately, her eyes scanning Wade critically.

Cackling in the same manner as the man on the phone, Wade replied. "Those girls are completely responsible for the force of nature you are looking upon now, Madre."

Watching her son, Liona witnessed as Wade began flexing his biceps as if to convince her he was well now, but nonetheless, she continued. "Girls is plural; why is there more than one?"

Pausing his impressive movements, Wade turned his head. "I don't know, um... I like one, then I like two?"

"I didn't raise a damn playboy." Liona snorted unhappily.

"You're right! You raised a sex mania-" Wade shouted playfully before being completely shut down by his mother. "Shut your mouth!"

Pouting, Wade replied. "Fine then..."

Taking a deep breath, Liona spoke once more. "Let's run through this one more time. You moved to this small town randomly, met two girls, found yourself romantically interested in these two girls, and now you're doing better... at least by some measure."

"Yup." Wade grinned. "Their names are Eliza and Alice, and both are perfectly my type. They're kinda like hot and cold, y'know? I'm sure you'll love them."

Narrowing her eyes, Liona spoke. "Pick one; you can't have them both."

Immediately replying, Wade's face gained a rare and serious expression, surprising his mother. "Impossible."

"Explain."

"Well... You see, momma, the cold yet warm Eliza, and the bright yet dark Alice are... my mates!" Wade says happily, hoping to slightly convey the inner complexability of Eliza and Alice; those two women were far more complicated than they let on.

Freezing in shock, Liona stared at Wade as if she had heard the most obscene and idiotic thing ever, but before she could even form a response, the man who had long fallen silent on the phone spoke. "Interesting... Two mates instead of one."

"From what I've heard, it's pretty rare," Wade replied to the man despite the distance.

"Rare? No... It's the first time I've ever heard of such a thing in all my years." The man replied, his tone amused and intrigued.

"Is it?" Wade continued; his interest in the bond between Eliza, Alice, and himself was deep.

"Indeed, now... why don't you give me and your mother some time to finish our conversation, Wade?" The man suggested as if to aid Wade in getting out of trouble. "We have some important matters to discuss."

"Sure, sure, take your time, you two~" Wade replied happily as he began to make his exit from the room, but just as he reached the exit, he turned back toward his mother. "And make sure to wear protection, okay?"

Not waiting for a response from his mother, who now looked like she was eager to give him a beating, Wade quickly left, inwardly pleased he'd escaped the wrath of his mom. Things could have certainly gone far worse if Wade hadn't told her about Eliza and Alice, as well as surprise her with how well he was acting.

'Lucky me,' he thought inwardly as he made his way down the hallway with a smile on his face; he had much to do now that he'd gotten off scot-free.

The End...?