Chapter 3: Classmate

It was true silence. The ringing in my ears piqued my tinnitus, the absolute feeling of nothingness as white blinding my vision, the absence of almost anything at that, except for the one thing that held onto me like a warm embrace.The feeling of warmth around my body, the smell of autumn sun, it was as if someone was hugging me right then and there. The feeling was bizarre as it was the only thing I could feel, though I allowed myself to take in the comforting feeling just a second longer.I could feel that I was in a dream derived from my other senses aside from the feeling of touch, I looked around, trying to find anything that stood out in the white background of the never-ending expanding distance. I called out into the far distance but nothing called back. I felt alone at that moment, a sensation I was all too familiar with as I had already experienced it a couple too many times. However, just as I was about to sulk and fall to the ground defeated, a voice rang through my head and right before me, a bright light of yellow and orange shined toward me. My surroundings then turned to a field where in the far-off distance, mountains and terrain filled the landscapes. "Eito... It's good to see you again... You looked just like your father then, you truly resembled him during those happy times... But, that frown doesn't belong on your face, so please keep your chin up, for our sake, alright?" The familiar voice rang out from all over with no precise direction; the voice as if it were spoken directly into my very head."W-What!? MOM! SIS! Where are you guys... Please... don't leave me, I don't want to lose the both of you... I just want to see you again, just one more time..." I cried aloud, falling to my knees and hands to the grassy plains while I stared up to the skies in an effort to call out toward them."We're sorry, we can't stay with you, at least not for a very long time... But one day, we will reunite, we're sure of it... So please, brother, take care of yourself for the remainder of that time... We will be waiting, no matter how long, no matter where it is, and no matter how much you've changed... So wait until then..." Another familiar voice sounded about and this time, a little more sentimental than the other; a voice that I longed to recall from the owner's very mouth once again."Eito-kun... You need to wake up now, wake up the next morning, and look for the prospect of life that you can find and make your own...""Live on with your head high Eito, time flies too quickly after all..." Mother spoke back toward me and though I pleaded for them to not leave me and even extended my arm to the skies in a frugal attempt to grasp at straws, the world I lived in soon turned to darkness, and before I knew it............My eyes shot up straight as I awoke to the dried smell of my dried vomit and the salty tears that made my eyes strain with stinging residual pain. My entire body felt lethargic and sore and though I could barely move, I heard a sudden knock on my door, and lifting my head up to the windows, I noticed the bright morning light peering through the semi-opaque blinds. "I slept through the night in the kitchen..." I whispered to myself as I slowly raised myself up; careful not to touch the shattered plates and glasses that lay waste on the ground of the previously cleaned and waxed white-tiled floor.I felt like was about to throw up upon standing up straight but holding it in, I gradually managed to keep myself from making yet another disastrous spectacle in my mother's sacred undisturbed space of impeccable cooking.I moved away from any shrapnel of glass and headed toward my bathroom to splash water onto my face, I quickly donned a different set of clothing and rushed straight to the door to answer whoever was calling for me; my eyes drifting slowly to the kitchen's state as I shut the television off for good.Down the hallway of the house and toward the front door, I opened it through and with the first thing that met my eyes being the blinding lights of the sun, I squinted and shielded my eyes for a moment, allowing my irises to adjust as I tried identifying who had come to visit me.As the silhouette of the individual started to form into a visible state, I wondered who could've been here to visit me at this time. I had little to no friends at school and with no known family members, all I could think who it could be was the neighbors that once used to be friends with my mother.I made out the shape of the person, trying to anticipate who could it be and to my surprise, there I found the face of someone familiar that I knew of.A classmate of mine whom I never had the occasion to meet with directly and a person who always seemed a little too distant from who I was, Riku smiled toward me but quickly turned her face to one that spoke of concern.She didn't immediately point out what it was but based on her facial features and the very subtle dart of her eyes to the edges of my eyes and back to the center of my eyes, I could tell she had noticed the crying I had gone through yesterday."Akiyama-senpai? Are you doing well today? It seems like you haven't had the best day... based on your appearance..." She said straightforwardly as she held onto her blue school bag tighter while she stood straighter to prim up her uniform and skirt."Is that so...? You don't have to worry about anything, it's not really what you think..." I said, not knowing why I blatantly lied in front of her in such a way even as the reason for the red marks on my eyes clearly indicated otherwise."Oh- Is that right then... But anyways, I'm here to tell you something..." She said, her expression suddenly nervous all of the sudden as if she had something important to say yet couldn't translate her thoughts into words.She stood silent for seconds too long and as I stood there on the other side of the conversation just about to ask what it was she wanted to say, she blurted out her words in an instant, startling me but for a moment."Ah- Sorry, it's just about how the homeroom teacher is worried about you! She told you to take a day off, to refresh your mind for today and the weekend that's coming tomorrow. She mentioned how you were spacing out in class a lot more often these days..." She said as she held something in the palms of her left hand; the item hiding under the skirt she wore, leaving it just out of sight's view."So that's the case... Then thanks for telling me, I'll see you next week Riku..." I said, quickly dismissing her as I had little left to say and my state of mind was on the verge of collapsing from the previous night's event."Um, also!" She quickly blurted out and turning toward her, I could tell she was once again frozen up, unable to say what was on her mind."What is it..." I replied as I felt a small speck of annoyance slowly growing in the back of my mind."Oh erm... It's just that... I um... Never mind! Please take care-" She said, running off before I could even utter another word; her expression making it seem as if she was panicked but for a moment while speaking to me.I dismissed the odd encounter and walking back into the confines of my cold and empty home, I shut the door behind me and buried my face into my two hands.Yesterday felt like a fog. From when I jumped off in an attempt to take my life to the countless times I cut myself with the kitchen knife, only to be met with nothing but pain and suffering, it was all too much for me to handle at that moment."To think I've become an immortal..." I whispered under my breath, clenching my fists and going over and over again about what I was going to do with the predicament of being cursed from now on.What could I do? Do I just accept this reality? Is this really who I am now...?Thoughts ran about through my head and for a moment, I was rooted to the ground filled with nothing but words that jumped around through my brain wherever they wanted and however they wanted. But in the end, they all converged into one single question that worried me the most...When will I be able to see them again...Still standing behind the front door and under the darkness of the closed curtains, shut blinds, and deactivated light switches, I remained there thinking about it for a short period of time; my hand holding the sides of my head and covering my ears while I sat in the empty silence.A tear dropped almost exited my tear ducts once more but before it could even touch my eyelashes, a sudden interruption halted its movement completely, making me turn back to the door where the sounds of knocking ensued twice."Again? Was there something else Riku forgot to tell me?" I thought, now annoyed that I was interrupted in the middle of deep thought; my right arm extending forth back to the door knob to open the door while I rubbed my eyes with my left hand.The door was pulled back and for a moment, the light that was already bright a few moments ago now felt like an enormous spotlight shining toward my front door. I turned the door and swung it half open while anticipating for the cheery schoolgirl to be back but standing before me, I found an entirely different guest who had approached my house.It was my neighbor, the middle-aged lady next door who spoke to me yesterday. Her smiling expression added to how she presented herself giving the impression she tried to look as casual and friendly as she could; the t-shirt she wore reminded me of an artwork my sister had made in the past.I took a quick scan at her, trying to be subtle as much as possible in order to not look rude in front of someone my family and I had known for so long now.Maruka-san was someone my family and I had known since we moved into our new home here back around three years ago. As far as we know, she had lived in the neighborhood for her entire life with her children. Our first interaction was as typical as one could be and fast forward a couple of months, my mother and her got to know each other from their favorite dish down to their deepest secrets. They were essentially gossip buddies who helped one another in times of need.I looked toward her and noticed her carrying what looked to be a box wrapped in a handkerchief and though it was concealed, I could tell it was some type of lunchbox she had prepared, presumably by herself. Though the matter of now was what she was here for and as I asked about it, she quickly replied with hesitation."Eito-kun, I'm just here to pass some of our leftovers from breakfast... I can tell you haven't had many home-cooked meals for a while now, considering I always see you walking to the convenience store for precooked meals... They aren't very healthy for you, you know?" She smiled, trying to make a joke to live up to my clearly depressed expression. "Please accept this lunchbox, all you need to do is just heat it up. I'll make one for you tomorrow as well if you'd like, making another person's lunch is pretty much just the same as making one for yourself...""I haven't been able to do something like this for a while, my children have already gone to college out in Kyoto... Let me know if you have any preferences, I'll see you around now, take care Eito-kun..." She said finally, handing me the wrapped box into my hands and walking off back next door with a wave and a small goodbye.Her slippers shuffled back on the concrete pavement of the road and as I heard the door shut, I walked back in and headed straight to the dining room. Opening the lights of the room, I sat down in a chair and unwrapped the piece of cloth that was tied to the lunchbox, I opened it and saw a neatly prepared breakfast of grilled fish, rolled omelet, and a side of pickled. They were all lukewarm and were beginning to turn cold; the steam that turned to droplets of water covering the lid of the box leaking off the side of the box. I could tell care and effort were put into the making of this lunch and though I wanted to heat it up to taste the delicious home-cooked meal, the current kitchen was too much of a mess at the moment to attempt such a thing. I held up my chopsticks and taking a single bite, I suddenly started sobbing. The taste of the savory fish, the soft texture of the recently cooked rice, the sourness of the pickled vegetables, and the sweet and bouncy rolled omelets, tasted all too familiar. I didn't know if it was because it had been so long since I had eaten a meal prepared at home but, it tasted like the most delicious meal I had ever eaten. I continued to scarf down the prepared meal, savoring each bite as I began to tear up from how long I had missed the taste of home. Tears flowed uncontrollably and though I wanted to stop, I couldn't; my eyes broken as the sight of my family appeared in the front of my mind."Mom... Sis... I miss you both, so so much..." I cried as I hiccuped, pulling the sleeves of my shirt to wipe away the abundant amount of tears that continued to flow with no end. I cried my heart out for yet another time, sniffling hard and trying my best to keep myself together. Before long, my breakfast was finished, and sitting in the middle of the dining room, I stared into space, thinking through everything meticulously once more.A small sector of my empty heart felt filled, temporarily soothed, and comforted like a soft pat on your head after a tiring day...