part 40

"…"

I closed my eyes.

Then I slowly opened them again. 

I looked at myself in the mirror. 

The person staring back at me felt like a stranger. 

Maybe it was because I was wearing tight clothes that showed off my body shape. 

But even my face looked different.

More daring, I would say? 

I hadn't changed my makeup or anything.

A bikini, a white shirt, and a very short skirt. 

That was it.

I felt so different from the person I knew. 

I could see my face turning a bit red in the mirror.

"It looks good on you," Hayeon said with a giggle.

Does it really suit me well? 

This?

Me?

I felt awkward in these 'sexy' clothes.

something I had never worn before.

But I decided not to say anything. 

Partly because of the happy look on Hayeon's face.

And partly because I thought, when else would I get a chance to wear something like this?

"Let's buy it then!"

Before I could say anything, Hayeon went to the clerk and bought the clothes. 

I worried that the clerk might laugh at me for buying such bold clothes, but she didn't show any sign of it.

I drove Hayeon back to school right away. 

She had play practice even on weekends. 

The rehearsals were getting tougher as the play was nearing its end, yet she took the time to help me buy clothes. 

It was a big sacrifice for her since play meant the world to Hayeon.

Suddenly, I felt grateful to her.

"Hayeon."

"Yes?"

"Is there anything you want to eat?"

"…"

"Anything is fine. Just tell me."

I knew Hayeon was always craving snacks or cakes because her dad only fed her healthy food. 

She especially loved sweet desserts and ice cream. 

I thought I was offering the best. 

But Hayeon didn't seem interested. 

She stared at me for a moment and then shook her head.

"No, it's okay."

"Really?"

I wanted to do something for her, so I tried to persuade her. 

Then she suddenly spoke up.

"Then tell Dad to come to watch the play!"

"Your play?"

"Yes!"

I sighed a little. 

Of course, Seung-rok would want to see the play. 

He didn't oppose her acting anymore. 

But his schedule was packed for years. 

Changing it wouldn't be easy. 

That's why he rarely attended her events. 

Hayeon knew that too. 

She usually didn't expect him to come. 

Yet she asked anyway.

I was the one who told her to ask for anything. 

I thought she would ask for a snack she couldn't usually have, but she came up with a much harder request. 

But since I was the one who told her to ask, I had no choice.

"I'll talk to him."

That was all I could say.

"Okay."

Hayeon made a subtle face, sensing her request was difficult. 

She was usually so bright that even a slight change in her expression made me feel down.

Still.

"Come back to me, come back to meee!"

Luckily, playing "The ZERO" song sung by her dad quickly lifted Hayeon's mood. 

By the time we reached school, she was back to her usual self.

"Have fun!"

As I dropped Hayeon off and she waved goodbye, I felt a strange emotion. 

My mom was always too supportive of my golf games, to the point it made me exhausted. 

She recorded all my matches and did everything from early morning prayers to shaman rituals for my victory. 

I don't know if those rituals really worked.

But honestly, it was overwhelming.

Why don't parents understand moderation? 

Some parents care too much, and others aren't there enough. 

Seung-rok was too busy making money to be with his own child. 

That was his problem. 

On the other hand, my mom left me with a lot of debt and made my life hard. 

Even now, she was a burden to me.

The doctor said there was almost no chance my mom would regain consciousness. 

Yet, I couldn't shake the feeling that she might come back. 

So, every time the phone rang, I got scared it might be about her.

Bzzz!

Just then, a vibration startled me. 

It was my phone. 

My hands shook as I grabbed it. 

But when I saw the screen, I felf pure annoyance.

It wasn't the hospital, but my ex-boyfriend.

"…"

I frowned. 

What a headache.

When I got a call from Seung-rok recently, my heart raced. 

But now, my heart sank. 

I didn't want to answer that pig. 

I let it ring, hoping it would stop.

 But it didn't. 

Even after going to voicemail, it rang again. 

Finally, my patience ran out.

"Hello."

As always, his voice was sly.

"I heard you're giving lessons to idols?"

I frowned. 

If it was just about me, I wouldn't be scared. 

But if it involved Seung-rok, it was different. 

He was flying so high, and the fall could be huge. 

I closed my eyes tightly. 

Stay calm. 

He couldn't know much. 

I was the problem, the weak sink in the chain.

I knew too many secrets now.

 But no one else would reveal them. 

I just had to keep my cool.

"…So what?"

"You better talk nicely. Just imagine what fun things could happen if I tell it to the media."

I blinked nervously. 

I was more angry at my past self than at him. 

How did I ever get involved with such a despicable guy? 

Now that I had some distance, I could see him clearly. 

He was a selfish man, the type who twisted reality to fit his own view. 

And he used that twisted view to threaten others. 

In short, he was someone I should never have gotten involved with.

"Why?"

"Idols shouldn't be fooling around with their golf coach."

"What's wrong with playing golf?"

He had strange prejudices, although he was a golfer himself.

"Do you think fans would like it if they knew a young, pretty golf coach was playing golf with their idol? They'd be furious. You'd be in big trouble."

It was a childish threat. 

But instead of getting angry, I felt relieved. 

His threats were so shallow. 

He clearly didn't know anything important.

"That agency is huge. If you reveal something like that, you might get sued."

"Are you threatening me now? Threatening? Do you know how serious a crime that is?"

Watching him overreact made me want to slap my past self. 

How did I ever think he was kind and caring? 

I even felt resentful. 

But in a way, I was lucky. 

He dumped me first. 

I could consider it a success. 

If I had married him, my life would have been miserable. 

Just thinking about it made me dizzy.

Feeling both disgust and relief, I tried to end the call.

"If you have nothing else to say, I'll hang up."

Suddenly, he raised his voice.

"How dare you hang up on me. So rude."

"So be it."

"You have no manners. Did your mom teach you that? Or did your dad not teach you because he wasn't around?"

He hit a nerve. 

He brought up my biggest scar, being abandoned by my father. 

It's okay. 

I've dealt with this pain many times since I was a child. 

But still, I thought it was okay to snap back once.

"At least I'm not spreading STDs like someone with a dad."

What?

"Good luck with your marriage, Mr. STD."

I hung up immediately. 

When he called again, I declined and sent a rejection message. 

He replied with a text.

-Are you so blinded by that idol that you can't see anything else? Did you sleep with him too?

It was a ridiculous, jealous message. 

When I didn't reply, he tried to threaten me again.

-I'll spill everything.

-Do as you please.

Finally, he stopped contacting me. 

I let out a deep sigh. 

After the anger faded, I reflected on what I had just done.

***

Seung-rok waited for Eui-jin in his own studio, dressed in a neat suit. 

When she arrived to pick him up, he widened his eyes. 

Seeing this, I couldn't help but shrink my shoulders. 

It was as if Seung-rok knew about the trouble I had caused, though that couldn't be true.

Seung-rok checked the music playing as he sat in the passenger seat.

"…It's our song."

I had been playing The ZERO's song, which I had just listened to with Hayeon, on purpose.

"Yes, do you dislike it? Should I change it?"

"No. Of course I like it."

Then Seung-rok stared at me for a long time. 

His gaze made it hard for me to drive properly. After a while, he spoke.

"…Did Hayeon choose it?"

He was talking about my outfit. 

I finally understood why his expression had changed. 

He was looking at my attire.

After the call with Dae-in, I had completely forgotten about my outfit and hurriedly adjusted it.

"Yes. How is it?"

"Not good."

He said this and turned his head away sharply. 

But I noticed it. 

The corners of his mouth had lifted ever so slightly. 

It was a faint smile, barely noticeable. 

But I, who saw him every week, could see the difference. 

It made my heart flutter. 

Yet, somehow, seeing his smile made me feel a bit guilty. 

My chest felt tight, like something was stuck. 

I had to tell him. 

It was something I had to confess someday, so the sooner, the better.

While I was lost in thought, the car arrived at the beach. 

As soon as we parked, Seung-rok tried to get out, but I grabbed his arm.

"Hmm?"

Even with sunglasses and a mask, I could sense his surprise.

"…I have something to tell you."

After I finished speaking, Seung-rok didn't react. 

He just walked outside silently, quickening his pace as if he had nothing to say. 

With his hands in his pockets, he walked ahead.

I followed him.

"Are you… mad?"

"Why?"

"Because I acted carelessly."

Seung-rok chuckled at my words.

"Well, the company will handle it somehow. If not, I'll just quit."

"If you say so."

His cool response left me speechless.

I just walked beside him. 

We walked for a while. 

Suddenly, he asked a question out of nowhere.

"That guy was your ex-boyfriend, right?"

"Huh? Oh, yes."

I felt the most ashamed when I said that. 

How could I have dated someone like him? 

Even though it was when I was young and naive, it felt like my past ignorance was exposed.

"He asked if you and I had slept together, right?"

I shook my head. 

Hearing the word "slept together" from Seung-rok made my face flush for some reason.

"Don't worry about it. He just misunderstood."

"Let's make it true."

"What?"

Seung-rok's words left me stunned.

"It's unfair to be ridiculed for something you didn't do. Don't you think so?"