LIKE AN OUTSIDER

Magnus

I went back to the bar, and the people at the bar, who'd already seen my face and recognized me, became increasingly terrified. I walked up to the counter and leaned on it. "Come here, good man," I said to the bartender. "Repeat everything you said back then, word for word."

He gulped and pleaded. "I'm so sorry, Alpha Magnus! I didn't know you were here. I swear I meant nothing; we were joking about everything!"

The others echoed in agreement, terrified of what I would do to them. They were right to be afraid. One tried to sneak out, but I grabbed a bottle and swung it at him. The bottle hit and knocked him down. Then, I grabbed the bartender by the neck and threw him across the room.

"No one is permitted to leave this building!" I said. "You all will learn how to eat your words!"

I took my time to beat each savagely and every one of them. I didn't stop till they were all bruised, bleeding, and panting for air. Then, I left the bar. I had vented my anger but still felt the annoyance burning in my mind.

I didn't want to go home in a sour mood because I didn't want to do something I'd regret. I was angry at the people for talking badly about Astrid and annoyed that she'd left the castle without permission. What if something had happened to her out there?

Despite my annoyance, I knew she was at the castle now, pacing uneasily for fear of what I'd do to her. I sighed. Astrid had lived a rough life. I could imagine what it would've felt like to live her life. Why would her parents treat her like she was an outcast? Why would they enslave her?

All those things made me angrier the more I thought of it, and I didn't know the exact source of my anger. So, on my way home, I stopped by a bar and drank till I felt tipsy.

As a wolf, getting drunk was rather tricky because our bodies burnt away the excess alcohol and toxins, making it very difficult to get drunk. The farthest one could hope to go was being tipsy.

I returned to the castle but waited to return to the rooms. I went to the study room and packed the books I'd been using away. Afterward, I arranged the arrows in my quiver, took out about four swords, and sharpened them again.

Those swords were already sharp enough, and an attendant could've arranged the arrows, but I was looking for something to occupy myself with so I could delay going up to see Astrid. I wanted to wait till she was asleep before I'd go to the room. I didn't want to talk to her, and I didn't want her to see my brood.

She'd been through a lot already, and I didn't want to say anything that would make her feel bad or fear me. I wouldn't say I liked the look of terror in her eyes—how she always shrank into a shell whenever someone looked at her or raised their voice. But I also knew I couldn't avoid her forever.

When I had nothing else to arrange, I went to the room. I hesitated before I twisted the handle and opened the door. Astrid scrambled up and off the bed when the door creaked open. She stood there, looking around as if someone had broken in. I paused, fixing my eyes on her.

After a while, she shifted and rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

I nodded wordlessly, shut the door, and went in. "I thought you'd be asleep by now."

She shifted uneasily and rubbed her shoulders again. She'd changed to her night dress, but this one was made of a lighter fabric with no sleeves. I wondered why she wore it if she felt cold. She cleared her throat and said, "I couldn't sleep."

"Why?" I asked, went over to the wardrobe, and pulled it open. Before, only my things used to fill the wooden box, but now, Astrid's things are in there, too. She hadn't brought anything with her; those clothes, shoes, and jewelry were all provided for her here. I pulled out a light shirt from the wardrobe.

"I…I'm sorry," she said again.

I turned to her, raising an eyebrow. "Do you ever say anything else other than 'sorry?'"

"I know you're mad at me for going out without your permission. I shouldn't have done it. I don't want you…to punish me."

"Do you believe I can punish you?" I asked, fixing my gaze on her.

She nodded. "You might. Ever since I got here, I've only seen people smile. No one has treated me like trash, and I feel a little comfortable here. But I know that I don't belong here."

I stared at her for a long while and then went over to her. She backed away as I got closer till she finally got to the wall and couldn't escape unless she climbed the bed and jumped to the other side. She considered that option from how she looked at the bed and then back at me but seemed afraid of attempting to climb the bed.

Somehow, her fear was cute and alluring. "Do you believe you don't belong here, Astrid? Do you feel like an outsider?"

She didn't speak. My face was close to hers, so much so that just a few millimeters separated our faces. I could feel her warm, soft breath all over my face and her piercing gaze. I looked down, letting my eyes travel down her body.

Then, I pulled her closer by the waist and whispered, "Do you consider yourself an outsider here, Astrid?"

She gulped and then said, "No…"

At that moment, I couldn't control myself. Her sparkling eyes, alluring, plump lips, and the innocence and fear on her face aroused something in me. I felt a deep and robust attraction; I only wanted to possess her.

"You belong here," I found myself saying. Then, I kissed Astrid. She was surprised at first and just stood there, letting me kiss her, but soon, she reciprocated. We were both consumed in the passion, and her moans did nothing to curb the burning desire I felt.

The kiss intensified, and she arced her back. Slowly, I tugged at the straps of her nightdress and pulled them down; then, I trailed kisses down from her cheek to her neck and chest. Astrid wasn't left out. As I pulled her dress down, she pulled my coat away and snapped three buttons on my shirt. It soon became a competition of who could get the other naked first—a competition which I won.

I threw her on the bed and stood back to admire and relish her nudity. I went for her, led by the desire. But nothing went beyond the kiss because I began to ask myself if it was the mate bond doing it or my true feelings for her. I didn't want to do anything with her because I was compelled to do so by some bond.

Grunting, I got off her and then tossed her dress at her. "I'm sorry."

Astrid quickly covered herself up, and I sensed the shame she felt. It was my fault. I left the room angry at myself. I had to find a sword.