chapter 24 : Hiding

They say cowardice is the absence of bravery, the unwillingness to stand when the moment demands it. But is it truly just fear, or something deeper—an instinct for survival, a desperate calculation of risks, or even the weight of past failures pressing too heavily on the soul? Some call it weakness, yet others see it as wisdom in disguise. After all, is a coward the one who runs, or the one who lives to fight another day? Wanna hear what I think ? I think it is truly weakness I know because it's what I'm doing at this very moment, skipping classes that I know I share with Damon , Skipping my normal Library time and shacking up in my room like an animal ... All because I don't want to face what's coming , I don't want to know why or have a reason to be more than sad , so I'll wait it out ..

" You can't wait this out anymore" Stacy has become more annoying than usual to me cause what do you mean by " I can't wait it out "

" You can't wait it out " tsk

" I can and will "

" Rami is calling together a group meeting together"

" Then I won't attend"

" You are basically one of the most important people in the group .. you can't just sit here while we look into something this important"

" I can and I will " Who does she think she is telling me what I can't do ? And this is why I hate friendships, once you are in one it's hard to get out

" Won't you at least hear what he has to say ?"

" MIND YOUR BUSINESS"

" Fine you leave me no choice "

" Everyone has a choice , and you have only one choice leave me alone " I remember a time where I would have lost my shit because of a triggering conversation , look at me now ... Being cool even though I'm boiling inside

" It's like talking to a wall , Bye " good riddance I scoff , and she slams the door on her way out , I just want to stay in the dorm and sleep and drink all my problems away , I mean drink coke or something but ... I need a release and .. and what better way to get my release than alcohol. Don't get me wrong I'm not the clubbing type so I'll bring the party to myself .

I grab my coat , not that it's cold but I feel cold inside so yh hence the coat . It's a very long walk , I've kicked 2032 stones in total and now I'm finally at the gate " Hello Carl , what's popping ?" He looks at me like I've lost my mind ... And maybe I have , I'm drunk before even drinking because I've never spoken to him before " Hello Diana it's a lovely morning isn't it "

" Mm " I take a deep breath but I don't feel it " it's just normal carl... Just normal , nothing lovely about it " I casually walk out the gate like he isn't staring at me , can't blame the man , where is the damn bus ... You know Ale has a car ? So does Rami ? For obvious reasons I don't have one yet .. lucky for me I have a lot of pent up energy and not in the mood to Apparate , also the store is right in front me ... Don't know what they were thinking building a liquor store next to a school but yay me.

" Hello beautiful lady what can I get you ?" Ugh ew

" Your strongest please , the bottle to go "

" Oh okay big problems?" He asks as he reaches for the shelf to bring down a vodka , yh that's the stuff

" Buddy you have no idea "

" Well I hope it gets better " after payment he hand it over to me and I bid him fare well , I don't even wait to exit the store before I pop the bad boy open and take a gulp ... " Ughh that stings.. sshit " mm but the after flavour is nice .. it's apple ? Apple flavour, I like it .. I take another swing as I walk down to the school gate ... Is it me or the gate is farther than usual ... Okay seen it .. " you back.. "

" Yh Carl .. and you know what .. it is a lovely day " I give him a smile I didn't even know I had , damn I'm loosing it .

I don't know how but it must surely be the grace of God because I'm standing in front of my dorm with a half bottle of vodka and a half sane mind .. yh you hear me half bottle , I swing the door open am with my feet and stagger inside " Diana where have you been ? Oh no no no no

" Heyyo Rami ... You look gocddd " I smile and take a room around to find extra five pairs of eyes staring at me

" What'd I missh ?" I'm literally slurring my words right now

" She's wasted " Ale sighs with a smile , of course he's happy I'm wasted

" No I'm not washed ! I'm not washed , I'm just tippy !"

" Tipsy ?" Rami asks

" Yep "

" Sure you are princess .... Why don't you lay down I guess looking at the book can wait "

" What ishhh she doing here ?" I point at Damon who hasn't removed his eyes from me since I walked in

" She ... Is going it look at the book with us I'm not happy about it too " Ale comforts me , he gets up to stroke my hair

" When did you even leave the room ?" Stacy snaps at me

" NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" I yell at her and close my eyes as Ale hushes me and continues stroking me hair

" Mmm my bodle " I tell no one in particular

" Your what ?"

" Bodlleeee" ..

" Oh your bottle .. you don't need that now princess" Rami squats in front of me

" She's acting so childish right now ... You had and argument with your boyfriend dosentttttt mean you do something like this .. and you know we haven't opened the book !! " Stacy continues yelling

" Stop it Stacy ! " inéz warns her

" No .. someone needs to tell her the truth , we all heard Damon's reason for not telling you and we see reason with it , if you had been strong enough you would have seen reason too once you heard it .. now you are drunk .. ? Ah " It was like something snapped emotionally, I felt sane a bit to let it out the normal way .. the right way

" Oh you think I'm so childish... I'm so dramatic ? You saw reasons ? I don't care , you understand it's not your place to understand... He's not your boyfriend.. and you will not tell me what I can or cannot do ! Who gave you the right ? You think it's easy being different? You think its easy being the one who has to always make the decisions? YOU THINK ITS EASY TO PUT YOUR HOPE TO SOMETHING , TO DISCOVER... To discover something and then go in and find more than what you bargained for ? Is that what you think Stacy ? "

" No but I know that being different isn't easy all my life i was different I -"

" You seriously want to compare me having the power to give death at any time ... Me having the power to end the world , uss I point around , having the power to bring death... to you being different ?because of your hair ?? You are pathetic and unreasonable, and if I wasn't feeling so sad right now I would choke the life out of you" I glare at her and I'm sure my eyes changed color.

" Diana it's okay .. she's not worth it princess, " he cleans my tears while Ale pats my back as I hiccup

" Hold .. your - Dog , or I'll do - it " he smiles at me despite me insulting and threatening his girlfriend

" Okay , I will .. we are gonna go and you are going to rest .. and I'm taking the bottle okay ?"

" Okay" I relax on the bed and watch them leave but Damon stays , he looks at me with longing , regret and sadness and I can't help the tears that fall , when he finally leaves I take a deep breath like I was out of oxygen before and close my eyes , I let darkness come in .