Andi Tivej

Cassie is self-sabotaging, a dry sense of humour, a sultry melody, a sarcastic remark. She's a dead gaze, smudged eyeliner, a garden of withering red tulips, and... an addict. 

Etienne is indecisive, anxious, classically handsome, a teller of great stories. He's a smile that doesn't reach the eyes, a lit cigarette, an alternative rock song, and a bad friend.  

It all started when they were only six years old. And it hasn't stopped. It keeps happening. They weave in and out of each other's lives, with their strange connection to blame. Their bond is both strengthened and weakened by their shared traumas. Their relationship is a ballad about codependency and the electricity of first love. 

Their lives are an unmanageable mess that sees them dwell in the world of drugs, depression, and the multitude of young women being found dead in the Merseyside Area. They each must confront their faith in second chances, fate, and circumstance. 

                                                         ― ― ― ― ― 

 And he's somewhere in the middle. But you can also find him at the beginning, and he'll be waiting for you by the end. He's everywhere. He is good with ropes, great at sketching, addicted to pornographic content. He hates his wife, hates his son, knows how to avoid leaving fingerprints on his victims.

ON MOUNT EVEREST WITH YOU.

"In failure, may we find dignity. In loss, may we find wisdom. In pain, may we find growth. May our souls rise. Ever rise." 


I had not drowned, but I wasn't exactly swimming either. I suppose I was floating, but I think that invites an image of peace and that was certainly not the case. 


The truth was that a month had passed and I was getting by. Not splendidly. Not incredibly. But it was a tiny bit better than it had been before, and from those tiny bits, I was supposed to survive. Those tiny bits were the ones that were going to pull me out of this void. 


And to be a tiny bit better, I concluded that isolation was not the route for me. I could not solely exist in my bedroom anymore, so I went to sit in the living room instead, and that was a tiny bit better. River and Ivy arrived from some errands early that afternoon, and that made things a tiny bit better. 


Chapter Thirty-Nine.