ep 1- me and my love for big bobas against the world

contains: homophobia

i like boobs! big boobs!

since i was a kid ive been traumatized of not seeing enough big boobs...

my first crush was a teacher. she had big boobs. my second was a classmate. we dated but only for 3 days. she broke my heart, she was wearing a push up bra. you can say i like girls after big boobs. get it cuz men don't have boobs? i'm not gay.

unlike my best friend, akane.

she also likes girl, all kinds of girls. i think she likes girls even more than me. we've been friends since like 5, she moved next door and i was forced to be friends with that tomboy by my mom. i was a crybaby so she bullied me a lot but she didn't let other kids bully me and they were actually scared of her. of a girl. me too, i was scared of her, she used to punch me everytime she loses in jenga you know? and that girl always loses cuz she keeps picking the hard ones to pull out! i couldn't believe she was a girl but she does make sure to act like one in front of my mom. i became scared of girls because of her but then i met my first crush so i recovered fast. but i dont like the subgroup of women that hurt sensitive men like me 😢 I HATE THEM!

but what if they had big boobs you say? UHMMMM!!!

yeah i forgive them.

i forgive akane. NOT BECAUSE OF THAT, she had small boobs. not flat, not entirely small but i dont think i even wanna have her boobs in my head just to tell you. she was a child demon when we were 5 but like 2 years later, she just suddenly changed. her mind was mature. google says it's a common development in women, to mature fast. and thank science cuz she stopped beating me up and actually, she's a good friend! my best friend! hanging out with her is so fun. we can be either stupid as fuck or young engineers. we even won in a science fair and a comic making contest because of her! and she brought our no-name soccer team to champions(i was in the team!!!!), it was crazy.

some kids were still scared of her though and she might've matured but she's still feisty as a snake. no, a cobra.

and she didn't stop acting weird in front of my mom... so when she came out to me at 12...

"i'm into girls, take."

it all made sense... i swear her first love's also MY MOM-

she was the weird kind of girl... cuz she's a lesbian. she wasn't afraid to hit a man... cuz she's a lesbian. she was going to my house everyday... cuz she's a lesbian.

and i guess i'm still traumatized for getting beat up but everytime i hear like in tv shows that someone is a lesbian, i get scared. once, we were watching a horror movie and when this pretty blonde american girl revealed she's a lesbian, i screamed in the theatre. my dad laughed at me and my mom scolded me, saying i shouldn't be homophobic.

but am i homophobic? ... i dont know. i dont care about other's relationships and even though i'm 0% interested in men, i GET liking women... but a girl liking another girl... always reminds me of

getting beat up during jenga.

i guess i didnt really forgive akane. and when we're finally in highschool, same highschool cuz it was the closest one, during the first day i heard she came out in her self-introduction- i was in a different class- and i THOUGHT she would get outcasted. i mean she's good looking, athletic and smart but people don't like what they don't know you know?

but maybe.. because she's good looking, athletic AND smart that she became popular! i asked my friend before what he thinks about her being lesbian and he said,

"it's cool. she's a great person. she helped me-"

i don't care. everyone seemed to have recieved something from her. something called a good time. girls like her, boys like her, what the hell?! is it cuz she's lesbian? i mean people get interested in what they dont know YOU KNOW?! but i know it has nothing to do with her being a lesbian, she's great I KNOW BUT!!!

she's not all that. she doesn't even have big boobs but everywhere i go i hear akane is so great!! i might fall in love with her!!! and sometimes i'd hear it from girls with big boobs WHICH IS INSANE.

it just pisses me off. i dont tell her though even though she's my best friend. she also sees me as her best friend, which kinda makes me feel worse. i also think that some people only laugh at my jokes because of her, because she's right beside me even though i'm funny as hell. i guess my jokes do contain just a lot of... one thing which is big boobs but thats all i have! and what i want...

first year of highschool would've sucked... if it weren't for... her.

harumi.

beautiful and long pink hair... soft white skin (i wouldnt know if its soft but its gotta be)... smells like flowers all the time and her smile shoots arrows to my heart everytime.... but most especially,

her queen-sized breasts...

i shall be the king and give them my glorious squee-

harumi likes boys. you know who likes harumi? besides me who liked her first? that's right, akane.

but too bad she likes boys. oh she likes boys so much she likes the most popular guy in school just because he's handsome but he's a dick, his name is kazu. i hate him cuz my crush likes her but also, he's like nice to everyone BUT ME for some reason. meh i couldnt care less about a guy.

i liked harumi first because we were in the same class in 1st year and she's not just big boobed, she's really kind too. kind to everyone but i like kind people and she's beautiful and smells good and well, i've said it all already.

we're not close because it's not just me who likes her but i'm sure i'm the only one who's seriously serious about her...

i didn't tell akane about my crush. she was also really busy with volleyball and stuff. there's no soccer club in our school and she could pick basketball, her second favorite sport but she picked volleyball cuz she said there's a lot of pretty women there. then maybe just have a crush on someone there, not harumi??? but i only knew about it when she came to my class to pick me up for lunch (cuz it's usually either she's BUSY or she calls me to eat wherever spot she wants) and it was my nightmare to be honest. for her to come and possibly seeing harumi which she did because i know that once she sees harumi, she will have a crush on her. i know. like i said she likes all kinds of girls but i just know it would be a love at first sight if she sees her.

and it was. mouth opened, like cartoon shit-jaw to the floor and heart eyes. she looked stupid. stupidly in love with HER BIG BOOBS i mean- my crush, harumi.

"please...date me."

and she confessed to her in front of everyone.

fucking embarrassing.

and she rejected her. she said "oh i'm not... like that. i'm not-" lesbian. she's not lesbian. she's not gonna be a lesbian just because she's perfect. she doesn't have a dick, she doesn't look like a guy. and even if she's almost as popular with girls as kazu, nah.

harumi is a girl. and she likes boys. she's normal girl with great big boobs which is exactly my type.

but yeah she likes someone else. i heard it while she was talking with her friends. i already knew him since he's popular and akane's classmate. he's very handsome and tall. had red hair and i think that's ridiculous. but he nails it im not gonna lie. if my hair was red i'd look like i'm doing a bad cosplay cuz that's what mine looked like when my hair was neon blue. but i kept using my dad's shampoo that it turned to this relaxing shade of blue which well, relaxed my eyes.

what was i talking about again? oh kazu. i just dont care about men but yeah harumi has liked him since grade school. i'm sure he was popular even then, maybe why he's unaffected by the amount of girls throwing themselves at him. idk but i dont get jealous. sometimes i even feel bad for him, that he's not capable of being attracted to big boobs that are in front of him. like, i wonder what he likes? is he gay? i dont think he likes boys either. he has the same fake laughs with them.

it's different with me and akane though.

sometimes he would eat with us at lunch. i dont mind cuz i dont care about men and akane seemed to think he's cool. we laugh a lot because me and akane are a comedic duo and kazu is our number one fan. or i guess her number one fan because ive never been complimented nor looked in the eye by this guy. i thought it was nothing at first but once, when akane went to the bathroom- it's the first time we were alone and i started a conversation. i asked him what he thinks about big boobs and he immediately glared at me.

"oh uh, guess not a fan. are you gay then?" which is a bad fucking segway. of course i got another glare but it was a joke. he should've known it's a joke ME AND AKANE DO IT ALL THE TIME.

i just buried myself in my lunch until akane came back. she asked what we talked about and i didnt wanna say it cuz it was a fail right but fucking kazu said it. "he asked if i was gay."

so i thought okay, maybe he wasn't hurt. that we were actually fine, and he was just pretending to hate me cuz who would hate me, i'm just a funny guy who's kind! then akane said,

"so are you?"

like are you gay.

i just shut my mouth because i didnt think he was actually gay and even if he was, maybe he didnt want to come out so fast. so i just looked at him, seeing if i should save him from akane's serious question and he was glaring at me.

it was my fault! like fuck it is!!?

"i'm not. i like girls."

"me too."

"me... three." i said, swearing in my head that i'm not looking this guy in the eye anymore.

someone hates me and it's kazu. never felt that since getting bullied in childhood.

but fuck kazu. i dont care if he hates me, he's a guy. whatever the reason, it's not me, it's him. i hope. my problem is that i like harumi but my best friend also likes harumi which means i cant tell anyone about my ginormous crush. i did tell my other friends though but they didnt believe it since i was friends with "the akane" but i said that's a lesbian but they dont believe that she is.

i just accepted that it's me and my love for her against the world... even now in second year i still like her so knowing she's in my class again makes me very HUNGRY!!! i mean happy. i'm also hungry food sushi i guess. idk i'm craving suddenly.

but new school year means new classmates.... i'm with akane.

which feels like the worst. and right now she's making me her little sidekick again, it's really been feeling like that these days. i'm her best friend but no one knows my name. it's takeshi satou, TAKE FOR SHORT. but i guess i'm also short so no one sees me. i'm like 5'6 i think. akane's 5'5 but people think i'm shorter than her. it doesn't fucking matter though since harumi's 5'2 which is adorable!!

"HEY YOU'RE LATE!!" akane screamed in my fucking ear. i wasn't the one late, we literally walked to school together. it was kazu, who's tall as fucking fuck.

"haha it's cuz i stayed up, watching 'the hustle'."

"so you watched it! anne hathaway there is so woowwww..."

"yeahhh."

"just how tall are you??" i blurted out.

"uhm. 6 foot." he didn't wanna look at me at all!

"wow. tall. i wish i was tall." i ignored them and looked straight at the only thing that matters.

harumi was talking to the friends behind her. probably couldnt sit cuz they were late and harumi always gets in school early. i would LOVE to go to school early to talk to her but my mom always forces me to wait for akane, pisses me off. so when harumi is looking back, i'm seeing her and her big boobs getting squeezed her arm and the chair....god... i wish i was-

"-a chair."

i looked at akane. she was also lusting over harumi. i cant have her do that!! my love is PURE. ALL PURE.

"you shouldn't look at her big boobs like that."

"how'd you know where i was looking?!"

"you guys are... beyond help." kazu said.

but kazu, u dont understand. i liked harumi first. and akane should've known already i would be into the girl with the biggest boobs in school so WHY is she not confronting me about it? or did she decide to ignore it? maybe she thinks i'm not serious about her?? she's the one who's NOT.

i cant do it anymore. i cant stand looking at her knowing my best friend's also looking at her and fuck this assembly, when is it gonna start?! i dont think this would be a good year. maybe akane would also steal my chances in being closer to my big boobs. i dont like it. she's taking over my life, i hate it. i just wanna be next to a normal girl who loves me and is gonna pret my hair hehe and let me squeeze them boing boing then i shall be a ball sport mvp myself.

sigh.

that wasn't me.

i looked up at kazu who's sitting next to me cuz it was the only unoccupied space, i'm sorry kazu it must be dreadful to sit next to me. but it doesn't look like he was sighing because of me, he was looking at akane.

?

and akane was looking at harumi.

but kazu kept staring at akane with this melancholic-

he noticed me and he looked the other way.

?

???

oh my god.

wait a fucking minute.

one day he just suddenly wanted to eat with us last year. then he would laugh at our jokes but hate me. just me. but he likes akane... he likes akane. thats why he hates me.

oh i see. it's what it is this whole time. it's like getting hit again the same way as when akane came out to me.

kazu, A GUY, is into a LESBIAN.

and this time, i'm looking at him. straight at his fucking face. he noticed and slowly turned back to me and finally FINALLY our eyes met and this time, he wasn't glaring at me, no, he was looking terrified of me...

of what i know :)

end of ep 1- me and my love for big bobas against the world