First taste of freedom
But here's the pain: Wade was only 16 years old. The world thought he was just some dying ugly kid, and with no birth certificate to back it up, which means...the only way to enjoy life was by sliding through the cracks of Gotham's underbelly. And that meant finding all the illegal sellers willing to sell their stuff for him~
anyway~
First on the agenda? Spending
He found a luxurious penthouse apartment in Gotham's upscale district—a place that would put most million-dollar homes to shame. The three-bedroom suite was perched high above the city, with floor-to-ceiling windows offering breathtaking views of the Gotham skyline. It was decorated with sleek, modern furnishings and came equipped with a fully stocked bar, a game room filled with the latest consoles, and even a pool table made from rare mahogany.
"This is my palace!" Wade exclaimed as he entered, flinging the door open and striking a pose. "I'm basically a king now!"
He immediately dropped $500,000 to buy the place outright, feeling like a true billionaire. The walls were painted a vibrant red, while the accent colors were a striking black—perfectly matching his chaotic personality. He filled the living room with plush leather sofas, an oversized flat-screen TV, and artwork that he'd impulsively purchased from street vendors earlier that day. The place screamed luxury, just like him.
Wade stood in the middle of his new kingdom, doing a ridiculous dance of joy. "I'm free! I'm free! I'm finally free!" he sang, twirling around and nearly knocking over a lamp.
But why stop there? He needed a ride. Something that screamed Deadpool while also hinting at the wealth he had momentarily acquired.
He swaggered into a local car dealership—a front for low-level criminals—and scanned the lot. After several minutes, he spotted it: a Lamborghini. It was sleek, fast, and screamed luxury. But Wade had bigger plans. He bought the car for $200,000, knowing it was a steal, and immediately took it to a custom shop known for its wild modifications.
"Make it unique," he told the mechanic, sliding a wad of cash across the counter. "I want it to be the most ridiculous, over-the-top car Gotham has ever seen."
The mechanic grinned, understanding exactly what Wade wanted. Over the next few weeks, the Lamborghini underwent a transformation. Its sleek, angular body was repainted in a metallic pink and purple color scheme that gave it an iridescent look. The front end was modified to resemble the face of a unicorn, complete with large, expressive anime-style eyes, a snout, and ears. Atop the hood rested a prominent unicorn horn that matched the body's color scheme. The mane of the unicorn was styled in rainbow colors, adding to the whimsical nature of the vehicle.
When Wade finally saw the finished product, he was ecstatic. "This is perfect!" he exclaimed, running his hands over the car's new features. "It's like a unicorn and a Lamborghini had a baby!"
He paid the mechanic another $50,000 for the modifications, feeling like the king of Gotham. As he drove through the city streets, heads turned, and jaws dropped. Wade Wilson was living his best life, and nothing could stop him now~
here stupid photo~
October 1, 08:08 EDT
Wade pulled up to the front of his penthouse in his custom unicorn Lamborghini, the car practically glowing in the morning sunlight. He stepped out with a dramatic flair, a hooker on each arm. Their laughter echoed through the street as they wobbled on their heels, obviously trying to take in the absurdity of Wade's entire existence.
"Ladies, welcome to Casa de Wade. Please ignore the excessive red decor—it's not blood. Well, most of it isn't." Wade gave them a wide grin, his scarred face stretching in ways that made it hard to tell if he was joking or serious.
One of the girls giggled nervously. "This place is... huge."
"That's what she said!" Wade winked. "And by 'she,' I mean you. Right now. In real-time. Crazy how life imitates itself."
The other girl, a bit more composed, glanced at the Lamborghini. "That your car?"
"Oh, that ol' thing? Just my sweet ride, built from the majestic fusion of a unicorn and a Lamborghini. Yes, it runs on pure awesomeness and rainbows. A hybrid, really....you girls go first~"
(Fuck you wade you can't break the golden rule!)
No,fuck you guys...i will lose my virginity tonight....you just want me to still a loser like you!
(You need to listen babe~if you slept your first time with hookers and not a famous character you might die)
But then...
something felt... off. The floor beneath them seemed to rumble slightly, and the air smelled like fresh-cut grass.
"Okay, what's going on?" one of the girls asked, her nervous giggle fading.
Before anyone could react, a massive vine burst through the concrete floor with a deafening crack.
The girls screamed, wide-eyed in terror.
"AHHHHHH!!!" They bolted, abandoning Wade without a second glance.
As Wade watched the two girls scream and run off into the night, he stood there scratching his head, completely baffled.
"Wait, why are you running? Is it the jokes? Was it the unicorn car? Okay, maybe my face, but seriously, ladies!" he yelled after them, genuinely confused. "It's aesthetic, I swear!"
(We told you boy~)
He gave a half-hearted shrug, muttering, "Guess it's just me, myself, and the 200 square of luxury."
He turned back towards his front door, ready to bask in the glory of his new penthouse, when he froze.
The entire building was shaking. A strange groaning noise echoed from the inside, like creaking wood... or something worse. Wade's eyes narrowed, his danger instincts kicking in.
Slowly, he turned around—and his jaw dropped.
"Uh... that wasn't there before."
A gigantic vine had burst through the ground, snaking its way around his precious penthouse. The once-perfect skyline view was now being devoured by an ever-growing mass of twisted, leafy chaos. Vines were coiling up the walls, shattering windows, and slamming through the concrete like it was made of paper.
"What the actual—?"
Wade's eyes widened in disbelief as he watched a massive vine whip through the air, ripping apart his pool table, his game consoles, and the overpriced mahogany furniture he barely even sat on. His $500,000 sanctuary was being torn apart before his very eyes.
"MY HOUSE!" he yelled, hands shooting up to his head.
The situation went from bad to worse. Another vine slithered its way down the building, wrapping around his beloved unicorn Lamborghini parked on the street below. Wade stared in horror as the vine squeezed the car, the glittering paint job warping and cracking.
"No, no, no! NOT THE LAMBO!" Wade shrieked.
CRUNCH.
(I really don't think you should buy anything in a world where hulk can fuck up your insurance company.......)
The vine crushed the Lamborghini into a heap of scrap metal, the horn snapping off and rolling across the street.
Wade stood frozen for a long moment, staring at the destruction. First his penthouse. Then his car.
Something inside him snapped. His eye twitched violently as he clenched his fists. Rage built up, bubbling over like a volcano about to erupt.
"Okay. Fine. You want to play dirty? Big ol' green menace wrecking my stuff? You've got my attention now," Wade snarled, cracking his knuckles.
With a deep breath, he straightened up, narrowing his eyes at the vine monstrosity.
"It's me versus you, Salad!" Wade growled. "And I'm Taking my fucking revenge!"