The morning sun filtered through the sheer curtains of the living room, casting a soft golden glow over the polished wooden floors. The scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air, mingling with the sweet aroma of homemade pastries. It was a scene of domestic tranquility, a picture-perfect moment that seemed plucked straight from a magazine. Yet, as Danny Keaton sat across from his mother at the elegant dining table, he felt a knot of tension tightening in his chest. He avoided her gaze because he knew the conversation to expect.
"Danny, darling, don't you think it's time you settled down?" his mother, Lizzy, asked, her tone gentle but stern. She reached across the table, placing a perfectly manicured hand on his. Her eyes, a warm hazel that mirrored his own, were filled with that familiar mixture of love and expectation that always made Danny's heartache.
He forced a smile, hoping it would disguise the anxiety swirling inside him. "Mom, I'm doing fine. I'm happy and I'm doing just fine"
Lizzy sighed, her expression softening with concern. "I know, sweetheart. But you're thirty-two now. Don't you want to start thinking about the future? About having a family of your own? Darling I want grandchildren and so does your father"
Danny swallowed hard, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. Of course, he had thought about the future—more than his mother could ever imagine. " it's my future" he muttered under heavy breath But the future he envisaged, the life he secretly longed for, was one he could never reveal to her.
He glanced around the room, the room he had been acquainted with that brought him so much comfort. The walls were adorned with family photographs, capturing moments of joy and pride: his parents on their wedding day, his high school graduation, holidays spent together. These images represented the life his parents had carefully crafted, a life built on tradition, love, and expectations. And Danny, their only chi was the focal point of that world.
But there was another world that Danny lived in, one that existed in the shadows, hidden from the people he loved most. It was a world where he could be himself, where he could love freely, live freely, and experience genuine happiness without fear and prejudice. It was a world he shared with Bryan, the man who had stolen his heart and shown him what it truly meant to love and be loved. The thought of him brought a brief flicker of warmth to Danny's chest, a small spark of light in the darkness of his hidden life. But that warmth was quickly extinguished by the cold reality of his situation. His relationship with Bryan was shrouded in secrecy. Bryan was a secret, a love that could never be acknowledged or celebrated, A love that may never see the light of day, A love that would forever be enveloped in darkness. And every day, the weight of that secret grew heavier, threatening to crush him under its burden."Mom," Danny began, trying to find the right words, "I do think about the future. But I'm just not ready to settle down yet. There's so much I still want to do with my life, I am yet to find a befitting bride " He said with a smile.
Lizzy's expression softened, but there was a hint of disappointment in her eyes. "Hmmm, you always say you are yet to find someone, I don't understand this darling, because I see a lot of beautiful young ladies every day."
Danny though fixing his gaze on the curtain knew that hers was fixed on him. "Mum, you wouldn't understand" " it would be wonderful to have someone to share life experiences with, Someone to build a life with"
Danny hesitated, his heart aching with the desire to tell her the truth. To tell her about Bryan, about the love they shared, about the life they dreamed of together. But he knew he couldn't. The consequences of such a revelation were too terrifying to contemplate.
Rather, he offered her another smile, this one tinged with sadness. "Maybe one day, Mom. But right now, I'm happy with the way things are."
Lizzy studied him for a long moment, her gaze searching his face as if trying to read the thoughts he was so carefully concealing. Finally, she nodded, though the concern in her eyes remained. "I just want you to be happy, Danny. That's all I've ever wanted for you."
"I know, Mom," Danny said softly. "And I am happy. I promise."
They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound the ticking of grandfather's gold clock in the corner of the room. Danny's thoughts drifted to Bryan, wondering what he was doing at that moment. They hadn't seen each other in five days, and the longing to be with him was almost unbearable.
As thoughsensing his need for a distraction, Lizzy stood and began clearing the table. "Why don't you take some of these scones with you when you leave?" she suggested, her tone light and casual. "I made too many, as usual."
Danny chuckled, grateful for the change in subject. "You know I can never say no to your pastries."
Lizzy smiled, the tension between them easing as they fell back into the familiar rhythm of their relationship. As she wrapped up the pastries, Danny's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, his heart skipping a beat when he saw Bryan's name on the screen.
"Can't stop thinking about you. I miss you."
Danny's lips curved into a genuine smile, his heart throbbing wildly without rhythm and swelling with affection. He quickly typed out a reply, keeping his message short and sweet to avoid arousing his mother's suspicion.
"I Miss you too. Can't wait to see you, Love and hugs"
He slipped the phone back into his pocket, his mood significantly lighter. Being with Bryan was like stepping into a different world, one where he didn't have to hide or pretend. It was a world where he could be himself, free from the expectations that weighed him down in his everyday life.
But that world was frail, always at risk of being shattered by the harsh realities of the one he inhabited with his family. The two worlds were in constant conflict, they could never meet, pulling him in different directions. Danny often felt like he was being torn apart at the seams.
"Here you go, darling," Lizzy said, handing him a neatly wrapped package of pastries. "Take these with you. And don't be a stranger, okay? Your father and I worry about you."
Danny nodded, taking the package from her. "I won't, Mom. I promise."
He leaned in to kiss her cheek, the familiar scent of her perfume bringing back memories of his childhood. As he pulled away, he noticed the hint of sadness in her eyes, the unspoken worries she harbored for her only son. It was a look he had seen countless times before, but today it weighed on him more heavily than ever.
As he left the house and made his way to his car, Danny couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that had settled in his chest, how long was he going to deal with this guilt? He wondered. How much longer would he bear the pent-up pain of being away from his lover? His mother's words echoed in his mind, a constant reminder of the expectations he was failing to meet. But those expectations were impossible for him to fulfill—not without renouncing himself in the process, this he wasn't willing to do.
Danny slid into the driver's seat, placing the package of pastries on the passenger seat beside him. He started the engine, the familiar hum of the car providing a small measure of comfort. But as he drove away from his childhood home, the sense of unease lingered, a dark cloud on the horizon of his mind.
The drive to his apartment was short, but it felt longer than usual as Danny's thoughts spiraled out of control, the thoughts surged in and it caused him to be apprehensive. He didn't know which one to deal with. He knew he couldn't keep living this double life forever. Sooner or later, something would have to give. The thought filled him with dread, but also with a strange sense of relief. Perhaps, deep down, he wanted the truth to come out—wanted to be free of the lies and the guilt.
When he finally reached his apartment, Danny parked the car and sat there for a moment, staring out at the quiet street. The sun had dipped lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the pavement. It was a peaceful scene, but Danny's mind was anything but peaceful. He stood outside the apartment a little longer admiring the Jasmine plant as it took its natural course, crawling on the wall without being stopped. For a second he wished he was the Jasmine.
With a heavy sigh, he grabbed the package of pastries and stepped out of the car. As he approached the front door, his phone buzzed again. This time, it was a photo from Bryan—an image of a beautifully set table with two plates, and candles lit in the center.
"I have made us dinner. Can't wait to see you."
Danny's heart warmed at the sight, a small smile at the corners of his mouth. Bryan always knew how to brighten his day, even when the world weighed heavily on him, Bryan was his consolation.
He quickly typed a reply, his fingers moving with a newfound sense of urgency. "Be there in 20 minutes. Can't wait to see you too"
As he entered his apartment, Danny felt a familiar mix of excitement and anxiety. The prospect of seeing Bryan, of being with the man he loved, filled him with joy. But there was always that nagging fear in the back of his mind—the fear that someone would find out, that his carefully constructed world would come crashing down around him.
He set the package of pastries on the kitchen counter and hurried to freshen up. As he splashed cold water on his face, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. The man looking back at him seemed tired, worn down by the constant struggle to maintain the facade. But there was also a glimmer of hope in his eyes—a hope that maybe, one day, he wouldn't have to hide anymore.
"Just get through the night," Danny muttered to himself. "One day at a time."
He finished getting ready and grabbed his keys, his heart pounding with anticipation. As he stepped out into the cool evening air he couldn't help but feel the familiar conflict of emotions—the joy of being with Bryan, and the guilt of living a life that was, in so many ways, a lie.
As he walked down the street toward Bryan's apartment, he tried to push the negative thoughts from his mind. Tonight was about them, about the love they shared. Everything else could wait. He turned the corner and saw Bryan's building up ahead, a small, cozy place that was nothing like the sprawling estate Danny had grown up in, but it felt like home in a way his parents' house never could.
Bryan was waiting for him outside the door, leaning casually against the wall with that easy smile that had first drawn Danny in. His dark hair was slightly rough, his blue eyes bright with affection, and a dazzling smile. Noticing him like this, so full of life and love, made Danny's heartache with a mixture of happiness and pain. Happiness because he had found someone who understood him, who loved him for who he was. Pain because he knew that this love, as wonderful as it was, could never be fully embraced in the open. He suffered more agony than happiness but right here in this moment, with Bryan standing right before him, he chose the latter.
"Hey, you," Bryan greeted him, stepping forward to wrap Danny in a warm embrace. The familiar scent of his cologne enveloped Danny, and for a moment, he felt relief.
"Hey," Danny replied, his voice muffled against Bryan's shoulder. He didn't want to let go, didn't want to face the world outside their little bubble. Here, in Bryan's arms, he clung tightly to him like a distraught child. Here he. could forget everything—his parents' anticipations, Mira's tacit love, the constant pressure to be someone he wasn't.
Bryan pulled back just enough to look into Danny's eyes. "What weighs you?" he asked, concern flickering across his appearance.
Danny sighed, not wanting to burden Bryan with the weight of his family's expectations. "Just the usual," he said with a forced smile. "My mom's is at it again—- hinting—again—that I should get married soonest, and start a family."
Bryan's expression softened, of course, he wasn't surprised by the response he got. He didn't need a lecture to understand the unspoken conflict behind Danny's words. "And what did you tell her?"
"I told her I'm not ready," Danny replied, though he knew that wouldn't satisfy his mother for long. "But you know how she is. She wants me to be happy, but her version of happiness is—— it's different from what I want, it's you I want"
Bryan nodded, wrapping his arm around Danny. "Come on," he said gently, pulling Danny toward the door. "Let's go inside. Dinner's getting cold."
Inside, the apartment was warm and inviting, the scent of roasted chicken and herbs filling the air. Bryan had gone all out, as he always did when they had time alone together. The table was set with care, and love. candlelight flickering in the dim room, casting a soft glow over the room. Danny couldn't help but smile at the effort Bryan had put into making the evening special.
Being apart for 5 days seemed like forever.
"This looks incredible," Danny said as he took his seat, his heart swelling with gratitude. Bryan always knew how to make him feel cherished, and how to create moments that made the difficulties of their situation seem almost worth it.
Bryan grinned as he poured them both a glass of wine. "I wanted to do something nice for you. I know you have been stressed out lately"
Danny took a sip of the wine, savoring the rich flavor. "Thank you," he said with utmost tenderness, reaching across the table to squeeze Bryan's tender hand. "For everything."
Bryan smiled, his eyes shining with love. "You don't have to thank me, Danny. I love you. It would always be us come what may"
Danny's chest tightened at Bryan's words. He knew how lucky he was to have found someone like Bryan, someone who loved him unconditionally despite the challenges they faced. But that knowledge also brought with it a deep sense of fear—fear that one day, everything they had built together would come crashing down.
They ate in comfortable silence for a while, the soft clinking of silverware was the only sound in the room, and Danny's heavy breathing. Danny tried to focus on the meal, on the warmth of Bryan's presence, but his mind kept drifting back to the conversation with his mother. Her words had stirred something inside him, a lingering doubt that he couldn't quite shake off.
"What's on his mind?" Bryan asked, breaking the silence and looking at him quizzingly.
Danny hesitated, not wanting to spoil the evening, but knowing he couldn't keep everything bottled up. "I'm just…thinking about the future," he admitted. "About what's going to happen if—when—my parents find out, I am confused, my mind is out there stranded"
Bryan's expression grew serious, but he didn't look away. "You know I'm here for you, no matter what happens," he said firmly. "But we can't keep living like this forever, Danny. Sooner or later, we might have to let the cat out"
"I know," Danny whispered, his voice barely audible. The truth of Bryan's words weighed heavily on him. He knew they couldn't continue this way indefinitely, hiding their love from the world, living in fear of discovery. But the alternative was terrifying—risking everything for the chance to come out of the closet.
Bryan reached across the table, his hand covering Danny's. "I'm not going anywhere," he said softly. "And I'll be right here with you, whatever happens. Just take your time, We'll figure it out together, and the world will adjust.
Danny looked into Bryan's eyes, seeing the depth of his love and commitment mirrored there. It gave him strength, a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, they could find a way to make this work. But that hope was tempered by the reality of their situation, by the knowledge that their love would never be accepted by the world they lived in, the reality that their love is classified as being despicable.
"I don't know what I'd do without you," Danny admitted, his voice thick with emotion.
"You don't have to worry," Bryan replied with a broad smile. "We're in this together, Danny. Whatever comes, we'll face it as a team, as a couple"
Danny nodded, trying to hold on to that sense of reassurance. He wanted to believe that they could overcome anything, that their love would be enough to carry them through. That their ship would not sink. But deep down, the fear remained, lurking in the shadows of his mind.
They finished their meal and moved to the couch, where they were wrapped up in each other's arms. The comfort of Bryan's arms soothed Danny's troubled thoughts. The flickering light of the candles cast soft shadows across the room, creating an atmosphere of warmth and safety around them.
As they lay there, Bryan gently stroking Danny's hair, Danny felt a sense of peace settles over him, if only for a moment. In Bryan's arms, he could forget about the expectations, the lies, the deceit, the fear. Here, in this small apartment, they could pretend that there was no other world aside from theirs. That the outside world didn't exist, that their love was the only thing that mattered.
But as the evening passed on, and the shadows grew longer, Danny knew that their time together was limited. Soon, he would have to return to the world outside, to the life that demanded so much of him. To a life of deceit, a life where he would have to keep pretending, keep lying, to protect the people he loved.
"Danny," Bryan murmured, as if he had read Danny's mind, his voice breaking through Danny's thoughts. "Whatever happens, just remember that I love you. And I always will."
Danny's heart ached at the solemnity in Bryan's voice, the depth of his commitment. "I love you too," he whispered, his voice trembling with the weight of things he could say but didn't say.
As they drifted off to sleep in each other's arms, Danny tried to hold on to that sense of love, that momentary peace. But even in his dreams, the conflict raged on, a battle between the life he wanted and the life he was expected to live.
And in the darkness, the shadows of doubt and anxiety hung over ever serving as a constant reminder that their love, as exquisite as it was, existed in just their world.