An inescapable bind

Chapter 3

The next morning dawned with a heavy fog, casting the city in shades of gray. It was an impeccable match with Danny's mood, a perfect reflection of his foggy mind. As he dressed for work, his thoughts drifted back to the previous evening with Bryan. The momentary happiness he is forced to experience is as if the world is conspiring to remind him that he doesn't belong in it.

He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, he looked jaded —a young man with dark circles under his eyes, a reflection of the sleepless night he'd had. The internal struggle he faced daily was taking its toll, chipping away at his energy. The man who stared back at him looked tired, exhausted, and forlorn. He buttoned his shirt mechanically, trying to focus on the tasks ahead instead of the emotional turmoil that lurked beneath the surface.

Work was always a distraction, a way to bury himself in something that didn't involve questions he couldn't answer or feelings he couldn't openly express. His job as a financial analyst at his father's company kept him busy, and that was just how he liked it. Sometimes, he let out his frustration on his computer by punching the keys so hard. "Numbers don't judge", he would say. They didn't ask when he was going to get married or if he was happy with his life choices. They just were—stable, predictable, and controllable. Everything his life was not.

As Danny walked into the office, the familiar buzzing conversations and the clicking of keyboards greeted him. The design of the building was an outright contrast to the chaos in his head. It was a world of clean lines and sharp angles, where everything had its place. Here, he could have his head buried in the computer and lose himself in the data, the spreadsheets, and the forecasts, avoiding the emotional minefield that awaited him outside these walls.

"Morning, Danny," a cheerful voice called out as he made his way to his office"

"Morning, Sam," Danny replied with a small smile. Sam was his colleague and one of the few people with whom Danny engaged in conversations beyond professional discussions. Sometimes, his little chit-chat with Sam was a welcome distraction, though Danny always kept their conversations light, superficial, and impersonal. He was always careful not to let anyone get too close.

"A meeting has been scheduled today with the board, right?" Sam asked, leaning against the door to Danny's office 

Danny nodded. "Yeah, a little bit of auditing Should suffice, I suppose ."

Sam chuckled. "Quite easy for you, maybe. The rest of us mortals are still trying to figure out how you manage to keep all those numbers in your head."

Danny shrugged, his smile widening slightly. "Just a matter of practice, I suppose, you are a smart guy this is not an issue for you ."

But even as he spoke, Danny could feel the familiar pang of unease sneaking in to steal his peace. This was just another mask he wore—a façade of normalcy that he maintained at work. For everyone in the company, Danny had an impeccable life, His father was a billionaire, and he had his life figured out. Here, he was the adroit, reliable analyst, the star boy of the company, and the son of the CEO. No one knew about the turmoil that lurked beneath, the darkness he was living in, the constant balancing act he performed between the life he was expected to live and the life he wanted.

"Good luck with the meeting," Sam said, giving him a thumbs-up before returning to his office"

"Thanks," Danny replied, already turning his attention to his desktop"

The hours passed in a blur of numbers and presentations, with Danny expertly navigating the complications of the company's financial deals. But even as he focused on the work at hand, a part of him couldn't help but drift back to the conversation with his mother. Her voice echoed in his mind, a constant reminder of the expectations that weighed on him.

no matter how hard he tried to drown them out, they lingered. His mother's wish for him to start a family wasn't just a passing comment—it was a pressure that had been building for years, a subtle but ever-present and persistent force that pushed him toward a life he didn't want.

The meeting with the board went as expected, with Danny delivering his report with the calm, measured confidence that had become his idiosyncrasy. At least for a few hours, he was out of the maze of his thoughts, he was doing something he enjoyed doing, something over which he had control and not vice versa.

When the meeting finally ended, Danny returned to his office, feeling more elated than in the earlier hours of the day. He sank into his chair and let out a long, sigh, rubbing his temples as if to ward off the headache that threatened to blossom.

The office was quiet now, most of the junior members of staff had left for the day. The fading light from the windows was a reminder that the most dreaded hours — nighttime, was around the corner, a time that he dwelled on thoughts that snatched his peace while he rolled from one end of the bed to the other.

Danny's phone buzzed on his desk, snapping him out of his thoughts. He reached for it, he felt a bit of excitement and relief when he saw Bryan's name on the screen.

"Can I see you tonight?" the message read.

A small smile tugged at Danny's lips, the tension in his chest easing just a little. He quickly typed out a reply. " I am

Sorry, I will be working late"

The response was immediate. " okay then, I'll have dinner alone"

Danny set the phone down, feeling the tightness of his chest. Bryan was his support, the one person who made everything bearable. With Bryan in his life, the world felt less hostile and less suffocating. It was as if the love they shared was a protective shield from the judgment and the opinions of naysayers. 

But that fragility of the shield made him anxious and skeptical. He knew that as much as he longed to be with Bryan, to live openly and honestly, there were some risks that he was aware of. His family, his career, his reputation everything was on the line. The more he feared to lose it all, the more he crawled into his shell.

With a sigh, Danny shut down his computer and gathered his things. As he left the office, he contemplated going home to the Keaton's estate, but on a second thought concluded that it was a bad decision, his mother's incessant nagging may make him peel his skin off. Danny got behind his steering, it was dusk already and he wanted a good night's rest which he couldn't get the previous night. Somehow, he found himself driving down Boston Street— the street that leads to Bryan's humble abode. The drive to Bryan's apartment felt longer than usual, the foggy night wrapping the city in a thick, oppressive silence.

When he pulled up on the front lawn, Bryan was standing in the corridor as if he were waiting for him. With a lit smile that could light up the darkest of days,  Bryan ran to hug his lover. The sight of him standing in the corridor, his face glowing with affection, made Danny's heart skip several beats.

"Hey," Bryan greeted him, pulling him into a warm embrace. "Look who's here, I thought you weren't going to come"

"Me too," Danny murmured, holding on to Bryan as if he were the only thing keeping him afloat.

" what made you change your mind, Miss me?" 

Danny let out a chuckle as Bryan tickled him.

They stepped inside, and the comforting smell of Bryan's fragrance lingered in the atmosphere.

The only source of light was a club light which Bryan liked to use when he wanted to retire to bed. 

" I am hungry," Danny said breathing heavily. 

" I had leftovers, you said you weren't going to come, so I made nothing"

" you need not make anything, I want to have you for dinner" 

Bryan smiled," But you have…."

He had barely completed his statement before he saw Danny's shirt flying across the living room. 

Bryan was lost as he looked into Danny's eyes. All he could think of was the first night they spent together and how they convinced themselves that they were meant for each 

other. 

The aura was filled with anticipation, the unison of their habit said it all — they are one. Maybe different bodies, but one soul.

Danny's lips curved into a soft tender smile.

" I love you" he whispered while he traced the outline of Bryan's face with his pinky.

"I love you too" whispered Bryan. His voice was almost drowned by their heavy but soft breathing.

Their lips locked in a soft gentle kiss, it grew more intense with a passion so deep.

Every caress, every kiss, was electrifying and satisfying, a paradox no one could understand.

As they struggled to find their way to the room, Danny didn't want to take his lip off Bryan's. He kept their lips locked as if a momentary separation would turn into a perpetual separation.

Danny laid Bryan down gently, their gaze still locked as he undressed him. Bryan reached up slightly, gently pulling Danny to himself.

Their bodies moved in sync, a sign that they had done this dance a thousand times before, and yet each time felt like the first.

They were oblivious to whatever happened in the world all that mattered in this moment was their unquenchable love.

As they held themselves closely, their heartbeats calming and their breaths slowing, they knew that their love wasn't unnatural.

"Have you thought any more about what we talked about last night?" Bryan asked gently, his eyes searching Danny's face.

Danny got up and walked into the bathroom. He knew what Bryan was referring to—the question of their future, of how long they could keep living in the shadows. But it was a conversation Danny wasn't ready to have, not yet.

"I have," Danny admitted, his voice quiet. "But I don't know what to do, Bryan. I'm stuck. I can't just…come out and tell my parents. It would destroy them. And my father—he'd never forgive me."

He came back to the bed and gently pulled Byran and they walked slowly to the bathroom.

Danny looked down at their joined hands, a lump forming in his throat. He knew Bryan was right—every day he spent hiding, lying, pretending, gnawed at his heart.

"What if I lose everything?" Danny whispered, his voice trembling. "What if I lose you?"

Bryan's grip tightened on his hand. "You won't lose me," he said firmly. "I'm not going anywhere. But you can't keep sacrificing your happiness to protect others. You deserve to be happy too, Danny."

Danny felt a tear slip down his cheek, quickly wiping it away. The truth of Bryan's words hit him like a punch to the gut. He had spent his entire life trying to live up to his parents' expectations, to be the perfect son, the perfect employee, the perfect everything. But in doing so, he had lost sight of who he was, of what he truly wanted. His whole life was nothing but a charade!

"I don't know how to do this," Danny admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

Bryan leaned in closer, his eyes filled with love and determination. "We'll figure it out together," he said softly. "I have told you numerous times Dan, You don't have to do this alone, Danny. I'm right here with you, and for you, right here by your side, every step of the way."

Danny nodded, feeling relieved after a stress-filled and long day.