2. Trash is Information.
(500 Powerstones For Bonus Chapter)
Yukio reached the house quickly and put on some clothes, which were luckily dry in case somebody else came in unannounced. It was not funny, at least for him.
'So, let's talk about the elephant in the room,' Yukio looked around for some reason, 'Okay, no elephant. I don't know why I was expecting an elephant.' Yukio walked to a mirror and looked at his reflection.
"So, I am Yukio, huh," Yukio said out loud, expecting someone to refute or agree with him, but no reply came.
'Hmm, maybe I should maximize the security in my room first; then self-reflection would be better.' Yukio summoned his brush and quickly started drawing some seals on the floor, which interacted with the ones already present.
'Now, nobody should be able to hear it. Just in case, I'll only say obvious things out loud.'
"It would be much better to say that I always was Yukio." Yukio stretched his cheeks—his face cheeks—while looking in the mirror.
"So, was that a dream?" 'Was everything a lie? Or am I living in a lie currently?' Yukio took a deep breath. "Does it really matter?" 'Yes. No.'
"Oof, let's first go by my priorities then." 'What is the single most important thing in my life? To have fun. Okay, what about the second most important thing? To not have any regrets later for not doing a certain thing. Okay, cool. What is the third most important thing? I want to make a ___. Right, this is not possible in this world, at least not with the current technology. How annoying.'
"Well, chakra seems fun too," he said while stretching his palm out. Blue chakra materialized near his palm. From a very small size, it became fist-sized, the chakra rotating at a very fast speed in the form of a sphere.
"Ice Pop-Inspired Nimbus Jiraiya Twin Whorl Sphere, huh," Yukio said and started laughing, or more like giggling, which turned into full-blown maniacal laughter.
"If this is supposed to be a lie, then why does it hurt?" He questioned himself while looking at the mirror, where a green-haired teenager could be seen with tears flowing from his eyes.
The tears turned into a sobbing mess, the blue ball of chakra already dispersed long ago. "Why does it hurt?"
Yukio hit his fist against the ground while sobbing for the next few minutes.
After that, he calmed down. "Okay, that feels good, but my face is all sticky now." He sighed and went to the bathroom to wash his face.
After doing that, he stood in front of the mirror again. "It's okay. I'll find the solution." 'After all, resurrection is just another problem for me to solve. Plus, it's not like it's hard; I already know some methods, like Edo Tensei. I don't know the difficulty of improving it, such as from Impure Reincarnation to Pure Reincarnation.' He giggled at his own joke.
'Anyway, even if I'm unable to find a way for that, I could always go and take the Rinnegan. He should be in Amegakure if I'm not wrong.' He did a double take at his own thought and deadpanned at the reflection in the mirror.
"Hmm, maybe I should first try to have my combat prowess reach S-rank. Reaching his level seems too hard. It would probably take me a decade to reach his level." 'The plot starts in 11 years, as Naruto is only a year old. Speaking of him, Kakashi did say that he was already outgrowing his clothes. I think Miyuki said she was going to buy and embed some protection seals on the clothes. I hope she doesn't forget that.'
His musings were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Coming," he said out loud but then realized that his voice couldn't be heard due to the holy amount of seals he had put inside his house.
He opened the door and saw a familiar face.
"Oh, Kakashi! Long time no see, come in."
"I just came to your house less than two hours ago, and we just met in the forest. Anyway, I'm not going to enter your house. Did you increase the number of seals again?"
"Hehe, as they say, you can never be too careful."
"Anyway, are you coming to the... ceremony? We're already late—not that it matters."
"Do I really need to? To be honest, I don't really want to go. Plus, I don't have any black clothes."
"It's fine. Nobody's going to say a thing even if you don't wear black clothes. Just use a transformation technique."
"Fine."
Yukio and Kakashi headed towards the cemetery. They both pretended that nothing had happened in the morning.
"So, how is Anbu's life treating you?" Yukio asked.
"It's fine; most of the time, it's babysitting duty only."
"Pfft, suits you somehow."
"Why does it suit me?" Kakashi asked, puzzled.
"Your whole persona is of a dog, right? With your sense of smell and, you know, your summons. So you're like a guard dog in this case."
A vein popped on Kakashi's head. "Yeah, maybe that's true," he said.
"Hey, I was just kidding, no need to take it personally."
"Hmph, I don't care whatever you say."
"Now, now, that would suit Miyuki, not you."
"What will suit me?" A voice came from behind, startling the duo.
Yukio, without looking back, said, "The Tsundere act."
Yukio had chakra built under the soles of his feet, ready to bolt if she was still angry.
"Oh, was Kakashi acting Tsundere?" Miyuki came beside Yukio, and the trio started walking.
"Yeah, I joked about him being a guard dog. He got angry but is acting Tsundere, pretending he doesn't care about my words."
"He's lying."
"Ara~ Ara~, I can't tell who's lying here."
They reached the cemetery, and Yukio transformed his clothes into black. He quickly paid his respects and came out of the cemetery, not wanting to get into a negative spiral of thoughts again. He waited for the other two, and the trio left the cemetery.
The other two didn't need to be told that Kakashi's mood was at its lowest; he had a habit of self-blaming.
"How about we have some barbeque? Choja-Ossan told me about a perfect place for it."
"Fine."
"Sounds good."
They reached the barbeque place in silence. Miyuki did try to lighten up Kakashi's mood by making some jokes, but the jokes were so lame that they weren't worth mentioning.
They ordered food and started to grill the meat.
"So, what are your future plans, guys?" Miyuki asked.
Yukio put a silencing seal on the table, making the other two roll their eyes.
"I don't think anybody would be interested in knowing our goals, you know," Kakashi said.
"You guys are too lenient. Information is power, even if you think this information is pointless... Hmm, be honest, you guys throw your trash in a trash bin, right?" Yukio asked.
"We are supposed to throw garbage in a trash bin, right?" Miyuki asked, unsure. She was an orphan, but this was common sense in her opinion.
"What do you do with your trash?" Kakashi asked.
"Duh, I pulverize it, then dump the ashes in the forest in separate locations with the help of shadow clones at different times, also with stealth," Yukio said, as if he were talking about the weather.
It prompted the others to look at him in shock.
"You do what?"
"This is clearly harming the environment," Miyuki said.
"Huh?"
The boys looked at her weirdly.
"Hmm, you're not the one to talk; you were cutting trees like there's no tomorrow. Talk about deforestation," Yukio blatantly said.
"I—That—" Miyuki didn't have a comeback for that.
"Anyway, the important thing here is, why do you do that? What type of things are you even throwing in your trash for you to take such measures?" Kakashi suspiciously asked.
"That's a secret, but you guys should do something similar. It's better than being psychoanalyzed by someone checking your trash."
"I don't think anybody could do that," Kakashi said.
"Heck, I can do it. I even tried it on Asuma; I checked his trash for 30 days straight one time."
"You did what?"
"How did you not get found?" Miyuki asked.
"That's not important. What's important is what I found. Here is the psychoanalysis of Asuma. Hmm, let's see, where did I keep it... Ah, here it is," Yukio said while tweaking his bracers.
"I wrote it in a detailed manner when I had too much free time. Here," he handed two pages to both of them. They didn't ask him why he had two copies of it. They were scared to find out the answer.
---
**Yukio's Psychoanalysis Report on Asuma (Age 15)**
**Duration:** 30 Days of Trash Surveillance
**Method:** In-depth trash inspection using advanced stealth and shadow clone tactics. Analyzed all discarded items, from half-eaten snacks to suspicious paper scraps.
---
### **Day 1-10: The Cigarette Conundrum**
- **Observation:** Asuma smokes a lot. Like, a *lot*. Nearly every piece of trash had some connection to cigarettes—empty boxes, used filters, and crumpled receipts for cigarette purchases.
- **Conclusion:** Asuma's obsession with cigarettes at 15 is not just a habit; it's a full-blown identity crisis. He's compensating for something—maybe the stress of teen ninja life or the pressure of being a sensei's son. Either way, this boy is puffing away his adolescence.
### **Day 11-15: Snack Attack**
- **Observation:** Discarded wrappers from potato chips, pocky sticks, and other snacks show that Asuma has a serious junk food addiction. Some of the wrappers were stuffed with bits of cigarette butts, almost like he was combining the two.
- **Conclusion:** Asuma is battling a constant struggle between his inner glutton and his desire to maintain a cool, aloof image. The combination of cigarettes and snacks suggests that he might be developing a secret eating habit when no one's watching. It's likely a coping mechanism, but it's also possible he's practicing to be a master of multitasking. I wouldn't be surprised if he's eating ramen with one hand and lighting up with the other.
### **Day 16-20: The Secret Shopper**
- **Observation:** Found several crumpled receipts and torn pieces of what looked like shopping lists. Most of these were for items like "Hair Gel," "Cool Shades," "More Chips," and "Special Perfume."
- **Conclusion:** Asuma is clearly putting effort into his appearance, despite the whole "I'm too cool to care" vibe. The receipts indicate a teenage boy who's trying to balance being laid-back with looking effortlessly stylish. The perfume purchase? That's not for him—he's clearly trying to impress someone special. My guess: Kurenai. He's got it bad, but he's trying to be subtle about it. Unfortunately, nothing says "I'm trying too hard" like a whiff of cheap cologne.
### **Day 21-25: The Occasional Deep Thought**
- **Observation:** Found a few discarded notes with random philosophical musings, doodles, and even a haiku about clouds. One note stood out—it was a half-torn letter with "Dear Kurenai" written at the top but never completed.
- **Conclusion:** Asuma has a surprisingly reflective side, and he's definitely crushing on Kurenai. The torn letter shows he's struggling to express his feelings—classic teenage dilemma. He's deep, in a way that only a 15-year-old chain-smoking, junk-food-loving shinobi can be. He probably writes these during his downtime when no one's around, maybe while lying on the grass, staring at the sky, pondering the meaning of life, love, and how to make his hair look even cooler.
### **Day 26-30: The Hair Scare**
- **Observation:** Discovered an unusual amount of hair in his trash—like, more than you'd expect for a regular teenager. Also, traces of what looks like homemade hair gel recipes gone wrong. Another interesting find: a flower, slightly wilted, tossed out like he'd changed his mind at the last second.
- **Conclusion:** Asuma might be experimenting with different looks, possibly even trying to match the rugged vibe he thinks Kakashi has. The hair experiments suggest he's on a quest to find his signature style, but he's not quite there yet. The failed gel recipes and discarded flower point to some desperate attempts to impress Kurenai. He's clearly into her but is second-guessing himself at every turn.
---
**Final Analysis:**
Asuma is a complex mix of teenage angst, a quest for identity, and a surprisingly romantic side. His trash tells the story of a boy trying to reconcile his desire to be seen as effortlessly cool while dealing with the typical challenges of being a 15-year-old ninja with a secret crush. He's hiding his insecurities behind a cloud of smoke and a mountain of snacks, and he's fumbling through his feelings for Kurenai like any love-struck teenager.
**Recommendation:**
- Consider a covert intervention disguised as a "cool guy" hangout.
- Introduce him to healthier snacks before he becomes the Hokage of Junk Food.
- Encourage him to finish that letter or give Kurenai that flower—before it ends up in the trash again.