41

Yu Mingjiao had long suspected that something was off with Cen Lingqiu.

A person doesn't change completely in an instant, and hatred for someone doesn't just vanish suddenly. Yu Mingjiao didn't believe in her feeble excuses.

After the car accident, Cen Lingqiu showed no lingering aftereffects, which was impossible for someone who had been bedridden for six months. Her personality, demeanor, and speech were completely different from before.

This woman in front of her now wanted Yu Mingjiao to live, while the real Lin Qiu would have been more than happy to see her dead.

She was determined to leave, as if there was some unspeakable reason.

There were too many inconsistencies about this woman.

Yu Mingjiao remembered the things Cen Lingqiu had said when she was drunk, like how she had never received a gift and didn't have a life beyond twenty years old.

None of this matched up with Lin Qiu.

Lin Qiu, a spoiled rich girl who had received countless gifts growing up, couldn't possibly be the person who had said those things.

They were two completely different people.

The doubts in Yu Mingjiao's mind grew deeper. Combined with Cen Lingqiu's almost cold attitude today, these suspicions were heading into absurd territory.

Why was she so good to her?

Why didn't she ever get angry with her?

Why did she keep indulging her, allowing her every whim?

And why was she so intent on leaving?

Just like a year ago, when she had subtly hinted that she might leave.

Back then, Yu Mingjiao didn't care, but now, thinking back, Cen Lingqiu had been quietly signaling that she would eventually go.

It was like a traveler staying somewhere temporarily before moving on.

Because that place wasn't her home, she had to leave.

Was she like that too?

Was she not Lin Qiu after all?

Was she someone else entirely?

The thought was ridiculous, but Yu Mingjiao's mind was already frayed, her sanity long gone, capable of imagining anything.

So, in a moment of reckless abandon, she had blurted out that question.

And it was enough to freeze Cen Lingqiu in place.

She stood there, turned towards her, unable to speak.

Her silence confirmed Yu Mingjiao's suspicions.

She was startled, then stunned.

So, this person really wasn't Lin Qiu.

A wave of intense emotion surged through Yu Mingjiao, her eyes dark and shadowed as she directly questioned her.

"You're not Lin Qiu."

"I want to know your name."

"I…"

Cen Lingqiu's rationality unraveled the moment Yu Mingjiao asked those questions. She had never imagined Yu Mingjiao would discover that this body was occupied by a different soul.

She knew that Yu Mingjiao wasn't interested in Lin Qiu. All her affection, her reliance, her attachment, had been directed towards Cen Lingqiu.

She cared for the real Cen Lingqiu, not Lin Qiu.

A rush of warmth flooded Cen Lingqiu's heart, filling it with a bloom of emotions.

Her heart was racing.

Her palms were even slightly sweaty.

"My name is Cen Lingqiu."

She spoke softly, knowing that revealing her real name to someone in a mission world was against the rules, but she did it anyway.

"Ling, as in listening, and Qiu, as in autumn."

Cen Lingqiu hadn't uttered this name in a long time. After her death, few people had called her by it. In every mission world, she was someone else, with a different name—never herself.

She had no friends, no family, and no one who would call her name.

Over time, Cen Lingqiu had nearly forgotten it herself.

But now, as she whispered it again, it felt strangely distant, as if it belonged to a different lifetime.

"I'm twenty-nine years old, eight years older than you."

"And like you, I'm a woman."

Yu Mingjiao murmured, "Cen Lingqiu."

"Should I call you... Lingqiu-jie?"

A sense of relief washed over Cen Lingqiu, and she smiled slightly. "You can call me whatever you like."

"Lingqiu-jie."

Yu Mingjiao called her.

For some reason, Cen Lingqiu felt an urge to cry. She smiled warmly and responded with a gentle "Mm."

"Lingqiu-jie."

"Mm."

"Lingqiu-jie."

"Mm."

They repeated this exchange like machines, over and over, but neither tired of it.

"Lingqiu-jie, can you stay with me?" Yu Mingjiao sat on the bed, her head wrapped in bandages, her face pale, her tear-streaked eyes red, her skin ghostly white like a lifeless, broken doll.

She pleaded with Cen Lingqiu in a soft, mournful voice.

"I want to be happy, not in pain. I want to live. If you leave, I'll have nothing."

Her voice was weak, pitiful, and sad, like an abandoned kitten.

Cen Lingqiu closed her eyes. Though there were only a few meters between them, it felt as if an entire world separated her from Yu Mingjiao.

The silence between them was deafening.

After a long pause, Cen Lingqiu finally spoke.

"Jiao Jiao, people live for themselves. I came to this world because I wanted you to live well."

"I hope you can listen to me. I'm not as important as you think."

Yu Mingjiao's face turned ashen. She lashed out, throwing everything off the table onto the floor. "Why?"

"Why make me depend on you, only to leave me?" Yu Mingjiao gritted her teeth, her eyes bloodshot. She tried to move towards Cen Lingqiu but fell from the bed in the process.

"Jiao Jiao—" Cen Lingqiu rushed forward and caught her, but Yu Mingjiao clung to her clothes, speaking with venom.

"Do you know? It's because of you that I started to think maybe it wouldn't be so bad to keep living. It's because of you, Cen Lingqiu, that I had this awful thought."

Cen Lingqiu froze.

"Now you want to leave me, after saying such things? How could you?"

"I'm in so much pain, Cen Lingqiu." Yu Mingjiao's head slowly slumped onto Cen Lingqiu's shoulder, her gaze empty, tears streaming down her pallid cheeks like dying snails leaving trails on glass. "I hate you, Cen Lingqiu. I hate you so much."

"I've always wanted to die. Do you understand? And do you know why I haven't? Can you understand that?" Her eyes were filled with malice, her teeth clenched, but she couldn't hide the sorrow in her gaze.

Cen Lingqiu felt an overwhelming despair. She had no words to express her helplessness.

She could only murmur in a voice filled with guilt and pain, "I'm sorry…"

"I'm sorry, Jiao Jiao…"

It was her fault.

She shouldn't have stayed by her side, unable to make a clean break.

She had chosen this mission.

She had driven Yu Mingjiao to this point.

It was her fault.

Cen Lingqiu felt so sick with guilt that she wanted to throw up.

It was already late into the night by the time Cen Lingqiu finally settled Yu Mingjiao back into bed. Her voice hoarse, she said, "Jiao Jiao, you should rest."

Then, she left.

The door closed, leaving Yu Mingjiao alone in the room once more.

Yu Mingjiao didn't sleep. No matter how much she cried out, Cen Lingqiu didn't respond. She had refused her in a more subtle way.

Yu Mingjiao's lips trembled with sickness. She covered her face with her hands, curling up, a few desperate sobs escaping her throat.

One after another.

Cen Lingqiu didn't leave. She stood outside the door, silently listening to the muffled sobs coming from inside.

Her heart ached so much that she couldn't stand up straight, her body bent as she stayed by the door, quietly keeping Yu Mingjiao company.

_

With Cen Lingqiu's secret exposed, their relationship only grew more strained. Cen Lingqiu didn't know how to face Yu Mingjiao anymore; she couldn't bear to look into her sorrowful eyes.

Yu Mingjiao grew even more silent. Some days, she didn't speak at all. Her appetite dwindled, and she would push away her plate after just a few bites. No matter how much Cen Lingqiu coaxed her, she wouldn't eat.

She was using her silence and her self-imposed starvation as a way to force Cen Lingqiu to make a choice.

In just a few days, Yu Mingjiao had lost a significant amount of weight, her wrists thin and her skin pale and bloodless.

Cen Lingqiu was both heartbroken and helpless. "Jiao Jiao, do you really have to do this?"

Yu Mingjiao sat in the living room, silently sketching, without saying a word or even looking at her.

She hadn't had a proper meal in two days; since yesterday, she had only eaten some fruit and nothing else.

She didn't speak, just sat there in a deathly silence.

"Are you still not going to talk to me?"

"…"

"Not a single word?"

"…"

Yu Mingjiao's eyes turned cold. She threw her pen to the floor, glaring at Cen Lingqiu with such intense hatred that her eyes reddened as if she were about to cry again.

Cen Lingqiu immediately realized she had said something too harsh. "I'm sorry."

"You're still injured; you shouldn't skip meals," Cen Lingqiu said with concern.

"I don't need you to worry about me!" Yu Mingjiao snapped coldly. "Whether I live or die is none of your business. Since you're going to leave, don't concern yourself with me anymore. What happens to me has nothing to do with you!"

Cen Lingqiu sighed heavily.

She didn't know what else to say.

Seeing Cen Lingqiu's silent response only made Yu Mingjiao more upset. Her tears started to flow uncontrollably again, and she bit her trembling lip, turning away so she wouldn't have to look at her.

"Why are you crying again?" Cen Lingqiu said, her heart aching. She reached out to wipe Yu Mingjiao's tears, but Yu Mingjiao slapped her hand away, causing the tears to flow even more freely.

"Lingqiu-jie, you're even more hateful than Lin Qiu."

Yu Mingjiao hissed through her tears, before turning her back to her, retreating to her room, and slamming the door shut with a loud bang.

The sound was so loud that it startled Cen Lingqiu, making her heart jump.

She let out another heavy sigh.

Dealing with Yu Mingjiao was so difficult.

Yu Mingjiao was furious, refusing to speak to Cen Lingqiu and no longer waiting for her after work.

"Did she leave already?" Cen Lingqiu asked one of Yu Mingjiao's colleagues.

"Yeah, she left as soon as work ended. She was in a real hurry."

"I see. Thank you."

Back in her car, Cen Lingqiu tried calling Yu Mingjiao repeatedly, but her phone was off.

It was snowing again, thick white flakes falling steadily from the sky.

Cen Lingqiu was worried sick.

Yu Mingjiao was disabled, and she hadn't returned home. In this heavy snowfall, where could she have gone?

Cen Lingqiu's heart raced with anxiety as she considered various possibilities.

Suddenly, an idea struck her.

Cen Lingqiu started the car and pressed the accelerator.

She drove to the community's recreational area, where there were many playgrounds, slides, and swings for children. She and Yu Mingjiao often ended up here during their walks, as Yu Mingjiao loved watching the healthy children playing.

She could watch them for hours.

Sure enough, Yu Mingjiao was there again, sitting quietly in a corner. Since it was snowing, no children were around. Yu Mingjiao's hollow eyes were fixed on the red slide.

She wasn't using an umbrella, so her hair and shoulders were covered in snow.

Cen Lingqiu walked over and held an umbrella over her.

Yu Mingjiao didn't move, only softly called her, "Lingqiu-jie."

"Mm, I'm here."

"Do you have a reason you must leave?" she asked.

Cen Lingqiu was silent for a moment before replying, "Yes."

Yu Mingjiao blinked slowly. "Will you come back?"

"Like a year ago, will you come back?"

Cen Lingqiu's eyes focused on the snow-covered slide. "I might...not come back."

Yu Mingjiao's eyelids fluttered slightly, her lips turning white from the cold.

"I'll wait for you, Lingqiu-jie."

"No matter how long it takes, I'll wait."

Cen Lingqiu didn't respond, only gently brushed the snow off her icy hair.

"Don't wait for me, Jiao Jiao."

"I will," Yu Mingjiao insisted, her voice filled with a stubbornness bordering on obsession.

"Don't be like this, Jiao Jiao," Cen Lingqiu said softly, her tone gentle but firm. "I hope you can forget about me as soon as possible."

Yu Mingjiao was unyielding. "I won't."

"You're being too willful, Jiao Jiao."

"Come on, let's go home." The snow was falling harder now, and both of them were shivering from the cold.

When they returned home, Yu Mingjiao's face was already stiff from the cold, her complexion pale and rigid. Who knew how long she had been out there?

Cen Lingqiu used a warm towel to wipe her face, all the while scolding her gently, "Next time, don't stay outside in the snow. Your health is poor; you'll get sick."

"If I get sick, I'll just die," Yu Mingjiao muttered, her words tinged with a mad desperation. "No one will take care of me anyway. I could die of illness, and no one would even notice."

Cen Lingqiu sighed. "There you go again."

She was utterly exasperated by the current Yu Mingjiao. Her health was bad, she wasn't eating properly, her head still hadn't healed, and her injuries weren't fully recovered. Her temper was terrible, and she had a habit of harming herself whenever she got upset. She was like a spoiled, delicate little madwoman with a princess complex.

Someone like that needed constant supervision, someone to watch over her twenty-four hours a day, to endlessly indulge her until she gradually softened.

But—

Cen Lingqiu couldn't keep her by her side.

If she could, Cen Lingqiu would have shrunk Yu Mingjiao down to a tiny size and carried her with her everywhere.

To prevent Yu Mingjiao from sneaking into her room in the middle of the night, they slept together that night. Yu Mingjiao had been coming to her room in the dead of night lately, silently watching her. More than once, she had nearly scared Cen Lingqiu to death.

As they lay in bed, Yu Mingjiao suddenly broke the silence, asking, "Lingqiu-jie, what kind of person were you before? Did you have a good life?"

"Not very good," Cen Lingqiu replied, her eyes closed. "I'm a rather dull person."

Yu Mingjiao bit her lip. She had so many questions she wanted to ask, so much she wanted to know about Cen Lingqiu.

There was so much she wanted to ask that she didn't know where to start.

In the end, she simply asked, "Lingqiu-jie, can you tell me when your birthday is?"

"Why?"

"I want to give you a gift."

Cen Lingqiu smiled and told her.

She was exhausted and soon fell asleep.

Yu Mingjiao stared at her face, unable to sleep.

She gently touched Cen Lingqiu's face, tracing from her eyes to her lips.

What does Cen Lingqiu's real face look like?

Does she look anything like Lin Qiu?

I want to know so badly.

Ever since she learned that the person in front of her was Cen Lingqiu, not Lin Qiu, the dark beast within Yu Mingjiao had grown more ferocious. All those twisted desires now had a legitimate reason to fester.

From the very beginning, it was never Lin Qiu that she cared about.

Yes, it was Cen Lingqiu she liked, and only Cen Lingqiu.

Cen Lingqiu was the one person in the world who treated her the best.

She needed Cen Lingqiu.

She wanted Cen Lingqiu.

But she was going to leave.

She would leave her.

Just thinking about it filled Yu Mingjiao with a sense of despair, as if she were being submerged in a lake.

She could no longer bear the thought of Cen Lingqiu leaving her again.

But how could she make someone who was determined to leave stay?

I don't want her to leave.

I don't want her to leave.

I don't want her to leave.

I would die without her.

Why does she have to leave?

Yu Mingjiao's expression twisted in anguish as her hand slowly moved to Cen Lingqiu's delicate throat. Her fingers wrapped around the pale neck, pressing down slightly, but in the next moment, she let go.

She couldn't do it.

She didn't want Cen Lingqiu to die.

Yu Mingjiao's expression was pained and repressed as she pressed her forehead against Cen Lingqiu's back, biting her lip to stifle her sobs.

Perhaps Cen Lingqiu sensed something, because she turned over, her arm instinctively wrapping around Yu Mingjiao in her sleep, soothing her in a soft voice, "Be good, Jiao Jiao, go to sleep."

Yu Mingjiao couldn't hold it in any longer. She clung to Cen Lingqiu's clothes, weeping quietly.

"Lingqiu-jie…"

She ground her teeth in both hate and heartbreak.

"I hate you."

I hate you, Cen Lingqiu.