Chapter 11 : Loneliness

*Cough– cough– *

Beneath the weight of a fever, I lie in bed, my body wracked with pain. Every cough sends a jolt of agony through my chest, leaving me gasping for breath. I feel terrible.

*Cough– cough– *

Shivering uncontrollably, I pull the blankets tighter around my body, seeking warmth from this cold. My head throbs with a dull ache, and my vision blurs. My mind races with thousands of thoughts. "Zeya.." I heard a gentle voice. It was my mom. She caressed my cheeks with her soft and warm hand. I opened my eyes and looked into her kind brown eyes.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

I smiled weakly. "I'm okay," I said.

She smiled back. "I'm glad to hear that."

I closed my eyes and leaned into her embrace. I could feel the love radiating from her. It was a love that was unconditional and unwavering. I felt safe and loved.

"Mom, you're the best.." As the fever intensifies, my consciousness begins to slip away. I drift into a hazy realm where reality and imagination blur. I see her standing in the dark, alone; detached from everyone and everything.

"Amaya," I called out into the darkness, my voice hoarse and weak. Struggling to open my heavy eyelids, I realized with a jolt that her warmth was no longer beside me. Once again, she had not slept by my side.

A fit of coughing wracked my body, sending sharp pains shooting through my chest. I clutched at my aching ribs, turning towards her empty space in bed. A wave of cold washed over me, and I shivered uncontrollably. "Amaya?" I called again, my voice barely a whisper.

With trembling legs, I stumbled towards the door and fumbled with the handle. "Ama? Are you... there?" I whispered, my head spinning. Dizziness and fatigue threatened to overwhelm me.

I searched the living room, but it was empty. Desperate, I tried to make my way towards the kitchen, using the walls, tables, and cabinets for support. But before I could reach it, my legs gave out beneath me, and I collapsed onto the dining table, clutching my head in agony.

Summoning the last of my strength, I poured myself a glass of water and drank it slowly. "Ama... I don't feel good," I whispered, my voice barely audible. A cold wind swept through the room, sending shivers down my spine. It hurts. Everything hurts.

Alone and in pain, I sat there in the darkness, longing for the comfort and care of my loved one. But Amaya was nowhere to be found, and I was left to endure this torment alone.

After an hour of sitting at the dining table, I mustered the strength to walk again. With weak and trembling legs, I made my way towards a drawer to retrieve some medicine.

*Cough– cough– *

But to my dismay, I found no cold or fever medicine. Sharp pains shot through my body, and I felt a wave of desperation wash over me. "Ama.." I called out again, but there was no response.

My gaze fell upon my phone lying on the table near the couch. With renewed determination, I walked towards it and dialed her number. Please receive... I don't feel good... But my call went unanswered. I tried again, but still no answer.

Warm tears streamed down my cheeks as I hugged my aching body. Ama, why have you changed so much? I whimpered and then sobbed uncontrollably. I lay down on the couch and cried until my eyes were dry.

Amaya... I opened my puffy red eyes despite the pain. It was already morning. I still felt terrible. My body was still wracked with pain, and my head was heavy. Slowly, I got up and found myself alone again.

Clearing my throat, I called out to her, "Ama?" but she did not respond. As I stood up, my world spun, and I collapsed back onto the couch. I can't... I closed my eyes and dialed her number once more.

*Ringing*

I heard her phone ring. She came? "Ama?" I called, but there was no answer. Summoning all my strength, I walked towards our bedroom. Opening the door, I saw her phone on the bed, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Amaya.." I whispered, sitting down on the bed. Then, I saw a shadow. She stood in the doorway, her eyes tired and red. "Ama, where were you?" I asked, my voice hoarse and dry.

She walked inside, one step at a time. "Ama, I'm-"

She picked up her phone and turned around. Not even a single word.

I grabbed her hand hurriedly. My vision blurred, my breath grew heavy, my lips and throat were dry, and my legs were weak. I stood up and leaned on her body. "Ama, not today... I feel terrible, please stay by my side," I whispered, wrapping my hands around her waist.

Suddenly, she grabbed my hand tightly and pushed me away. "Ah!" With a thud, I fell to the floor, sharp pain piercing through my body. Tears filled my eyes as I saw her cold and indifferent eyes glaring at me. She took a step back, turned around, and walked out.

"Ama!" I called, but she never turned around. Tears welled up in my eyes, and my lips trembled. I burst into tears again. Ama, what did I do wrong? Please forgive me… please come back to me. Lord, I beg you, please give my Amaya back. It hurts..

"Ama.." I felt someone's hand gently holding mine in their palm. It was warm and soft, but it didn't fill the void in my heart. It wasn't the hand my heart had yearned for.

I opened my eyes and saw my friend, Demi, holding my hand. Her face lit up with relief and concern as she noticed I was awake. "You're awake! How are you feeling? Does it hurt anywhere?" She gently tugged the blanket over my body.

Ama, I always wished for you to be the one I see when I woke up from bad dreams or sick. Yet why are my prayers always left unanswered?

"I'm fine," I whispered with a smile, but my voice betrayed the disappointment I felt deep down.

"Don't!" She refused when I tried to sit up. Her voice was firm, but her eyes held a flicker of concern. "You need a full day's rest. Whatever you need, I'll bring it. Stay in bed today, please?"

My heart sank like a stone. Maybe if my friends had been beside me on those days, I would have had the courage to go against Amaya. To scold her, or maybe even to leave her––

What am I saying? I chuckled at my own stupid thoughts. I had committed suicide because I couldn't imagine a life without her. If I had separated from her earlier, I would have died sooner instead.

"Zeya, here is a congee that aunt made for you before going to work. I also brought you some water. Zeya?" I heard someone call my name. I looked to my side and saw Demi, her eyes filled with concern. I had forgotten that she was here.

"Thank you, Demi. I'll eat it later," I said, forcing a smile.

"Zeya, are you sure everything is alright?" she asked, holding my hands gently. Her voice was barely audible. "I've noticed that you've been looking stressed out these past few weeks, not only that-"

"Demi, I'm fine," I interrupted her, my voice cold and distant. This was not something that she should be involved in.

She fell silent, her gaze lowering slightly. A flicker of pain crossed her eyes. I realized that I had spoken to her in a harsh tone.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat. "Actually, if you were to admit that you are the wife of Grey from Section B, then I could consider telling you about it." I smirked and raised my eyebrows at her, teasing her a little.

"I would rather stay single for the rest of my life than accept him as my husband," she said, rolling her eyes. Disgust was evident in her voice. I chuckled.

"How can you be so picky, Demi? You might really end up single, you know," I warned her.

"Who cares? I'll marry you if I don't find anyone else," Demi teased me with a playful smirk. I raised my eyebrows at her, surprised by her words.

"Then should I start calling you my future wife from now on?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear.

"Dear wife~" I whispered, teasing her. She raised her hand in the air, threatening to tickle me.

"No! Demi, I'm warning you. Don't you dare tickle me hahahaha! Sorry! Hahaha!" Demi smiled mischievously, her hands running everywhere making me ticklish. I tried to cover myself but she seemed like a pro at it, not giving me a single chance to protect myself.

"Hahahaha.." Our laughter echoed throughout the house. I tried to tickle her too but failed miserably and ended up getting tickled even more.

Now I understand why Amaya always chooses friends over love. I should have also put my friends at my top priority. Then it wouldn't have hurt that much.

"Somiya, you're alone today," Sophia said, noticing her standing alone in the cafeteria line. Somiya nodded her head. "Yeah, Zeya's sick and Demi stayed behind to take care of her."

Sophia's brows furrowed in confusion. "You didn't stay behind?" she asked.

Somiya smiled at Sophia and shook her head. Sophia felt a pang of sympathy for Somiya. She could see the loneliness in her eyes, even though Somiya tried to hide it. Being left behind wasn't something Sophia ever wanted to feel. She glanced at her friends waiting for her at their table.

"Why don't you join us?" Sophia offered with a warm smile. Seeing Somiya hesitate, Sophia gently pushed her from behind. "Let's go before they finish their food. Otherwise they'll eat yours too."

"Hey, Somi. Wow! You brought exactly what I wanted. Wanna share?" Elli grinned, showing off her sandwich.

"Ermm.. I'm not really a fan of sandwiches," Somiya said with an apologetic face.

"Hah! I told you! I won! Give me that chicken!" Amaya shouted happily and snatched the plate of chicken from Elli's side.

"What's going on?" Somiya asked in confusion. She sat on an empty seat beside Amaya.

"Somi, I love you, buddy!" Amaya hugged Somiya and placed two pieces of chicken on Somiya's plate. "Elli bet that you would trade your pasta for her sandwich, and I bet that you don't like sandwiches. I won the bet, so the chicken is mine!" Amaya happily explained, teasing Elli by taking out her tongue like a child.

Sophia, Seth, and Fred shook their heads in exasperation.