BlackGuyInnaBowtie

Just more old journal entries of mine, but this time things are a bit more...weighty? Complicated? 
These journals were written 12 years after those of Volume 1! 
Let us cringe a little more.
Maybe a little less?
Looking back now, I wasn't that naive...was I?

*Names will be omitted and replaced with "XXXXX" in order to keep some semblance of privacy.*

Old Journals of a Millennial. Volume 2.

Hey hey! I hope -as always- that this latest entry finds you well.

Those are all very important things you know.

Thank you all for devoting your time and energy to this series lol

I would have dropped it quite some time back had there not been so much apparent interest!

30.71K Views may seem like a small amount when compared to a much larger picture, but that is an amazing amount to little ole me lol.

And the first Volume only garnered -to this day- 14.04K total views, so that number being doubled feels just fine to me.

I am just a simple Black guy in a bowtie lol

The fact that my life story is even a little interesting to anyone outside of...well ME is pretty amazing in itself.

I will leave you to what you came for!

One day I will be able to put it all into words for her in front of her.

And those words will be pure and different, unlike the poems I've written to her.

"This is just between us."

I was engaged to her for...just under 9 years, with a separation or two tossed in.

I never got to "put it all into words for her in front of her"

Nope...it never got to...well, I never found the right opportunity.

She loved me, but she was not in love with me.

Usher said it best: "Life's a prison when you're in love alone..."

I was so madly in love and yet so deeply miserable.

A strange set of contradictions, yeah?

I read a quote today that hit home for me.

"Unfortunately, people have a right to decline your love no matter how pure your intentions are. You are not what they want and that is okay."

I agree to this, you know?

I just think that you should make it known and clear to the person who is seeking your affection if you aren't feeling the same or seeing the same vision.

A little communication and a hard talk can solve so much, and save so much time and energy.

We only live once -that we know of- so why spend that time with someone that you don't see yourself fully committing to?

Humanity is so confusing to me at times.

A part of me thinks that whatever created us has made up its mind to abandon us a long time ago lol.

-I wrote so many poems to/for her...so many that it may have been impossible to write vows that were worthy...

It wasn't a waste, it was a lesson.

The deepest, longest, most potent lesson of all of my 36 years if I am being completely honest.

Look for flags, don't ignore them, act on/address them.

That can go on to save you maybe...8-10 years of hardship lol.

But it ended with me leaving and restarting my life in a shabby little studio department with a little can and fist full of weed lbvs...

Yes, it is never too late to start again.

I will see you all back here soon enough, I hope lol.

Safe travels folks, and as always:

What was it that was just between us?

I gave her my word...and I will always keep it.

Chapter 60. "Between us."