Chapter 3: To be or not to be that is the question

I could only look on because it was my last moments. 

And so I found out I never could live with myself, but I didn't mind that, atleast I was my own best friend. 

We were caught in a landslide, the creature that was not supposed to be touched came, he was all. He was never truly gone. And as I, the conscious, could notice, my true half was being burned to a crisp. I saw all that could be seen, I was being killed, and the conscious would parish in a few seconds as well. 

1:st second. 

Why do I recall her touch as hollow. Why could not anyone see her, touch her, talk to her, and who could?

2:nd second

Who were my parents? They have gone so far that all I can see is air, the sniff of the air would not remind me of my parents, my mind would not remind me of my family they are Z's, maybe I was born one too. 

3:d second

What was life truly, was it just actions or was it more, was rebirth a thing?

4:th second

Was I born again, if so what sins did my past life commit or is this paradise I lived through, so much bliss I could not stand the truth any further.

5:th second

What truth was it then that I could not stand of. 

6:th second

Was I a ghost from the moment I stepped here, but how was I taken care of?

7:th second

Was she also a ghost, I never noticed the ones taking care of me. The eerie hospitalic backgrounds, the hollow conversations, were people really noticing me or was I not born?

8:th second

What lesson did I learn from this experience, that everybody are lost in some way, lost in the way that they have something to fulfill in their lifetime, some distant meaning. But when people reach this goal they do not feel resurrected and sent to the after, they still stand, still do, til the day they can't.

9:th second 

Was I perfected then, being so perfect the only ones able to see me were people who are me, the different people that live in my consciousness. I am a conscious of the one I am made for. 

10:th second 

Life is lengthy, seconds go by like 40 years it feels like, you truly learn only one lesson a year. A sentence worth. 

Baby come and work for me, I can give you love for free. 

11:th second

A conscious can not speak, yet I am so easily argued with. 

Baby come and work for me, I can give you love for free. 

12:th second 

Why, why now, why here, why are you so persistent if I even know you are not real. 

The echoes faded.

13:th second 

I wish the sound of my lover stayed for a bit but that one was no lover. 

14:th second 

Was it really me who made my true love? Makes sense. 

15:th second

She did feel hollow when shaken.

16:th second

She did smoke but maybe I wanted someone to die for.

17:th second

Nobody spoke of her, but when she left me I was at my worst. Makes sense why people "noticed" her, her "friends". 

18:th second

It aches, IT ACHES. WHY WHY ME, CAN YOU NOT SHUT UP. I DO NOT WANT FAKE LOVE, (the sirens ached and echoed). 

19:th second

Noo

20:th second

NOOOOOOO

21:th second

NONONO

Say yes once. 

22:th second 

Huh, what?

23:d second

Maybe I am a soul, why, why care over the past, (tears drop, tears of happiness).

24:th second

(Starts laughing out of joy, as his tears disappear).

28:th second

Why not, why am I happy all of a sudden?

32:th second 

Maybe there is a beauty to life, it's the experience of it. My first lover, was a blessing not a curse huh. Felt nice viewing the earth from the outside. 

38:th second

My life was not a mistake, it was an experience, I was not meant to exist but to be able to, to see people laugh as they talk over each other, to see the joy was a joy. I might not have experienced it. But not all that is bad is bad. 

39:th second

This might not be the meaning of life to people, but for a ghost his whole life, the experience from the outside has always been my joys. I read books for closure, nature was my mother, and turns out nature wanted to show me I was born unique. 

40:th second

I was born so nano, I could experience the highest joy the outside world, and people. No stress, dopamine is always better without stress. Thanks nature you nurtured me til the day Nanandrophite could finally live for once. Thanks nature, bye nature. Fin.