Discovering what I really am

I make my way down the stairs patiently, thinking about what might be down there. What was there before wasn't very pleasant, but that was so long ago that maybe this place is different now.

Maybe there are answers here, maybe in this place I'll discover more about everything, and maybe I'll even become stronger.

After a few minutes, I've completely descended the stairs. The place I've arrived in is illuminated by strange stones that emit a white glow, creating a lighting that compares to modern lamps.

I begin to walk around this floor, but everything is different from what I thought. There are many books scattered all over the place, and there are various liquids in different jars. It seems like the last time this place was used was for some kind of chemical or alchemical production, as it's like a world of fantasy.

I look at some of the books.

"Test... these are records... but why are there so many records?" I rummage through the various books, and they cover a wide range of topics, from the creation of chimeras and life manipulation to the creation of pocket worlds and universes.

There are also several scrolls with drawings and writings for making things.

"It's kind of... creepy." Many of these things are sickly and disgusting.

"Is this Aurora's laboratory?" I wonder as I rummage through more and more books, most of which are just projects and their failures.

Everything seems to be always focused on the same goal: to create something truly immortal.

I read through several of them as I delve deeper and deeper into the colossal room. Soon, I reach the area where the walls are.

On the wall, there is something in a cylindrical shape covered by some kind of fabric. From the shape, I know that what's under the cloth is similar to those science fiction capsules where they keep people inside.

In the past, what was in these capsules were failed chimeras, so I don't see a reason to focus on what's under the cloth.

I start reading the books and records here, but these are even worse and more disgusting than the previous ones, to the point where I can only say that Aurora is repulsive for doing this kind of thing with other living beings.

"Nothing really useful..." I'm a bit disappointed, as there's nothing really relevant, just showing how Aurora became more and more cruel with each failed experiment.

"What's this?" In front of the covered tubes, there's a small table with a closed scroll and three small books.

I go over to it and open the scroll, leaving the little books for later.

"Project A.Y.L.A, Version III Complete..." The name sends shivers down my spine, as the initials form my name.

I start reading the scroll. It begins by talking about the perfect creation, and the first step involves runes.

"Ayiegeta Rune... a rune used for bodily sealing... allows containing power and memories in a previously chosen container..." Simplified, it's a rune that allows sealing both the power and memories of someone, but more fundamentally, it allows sealing the soul, memories, and power of someone in a container.

"Yaoriente Rune... rune of soul containment, allows fundamentally connecting the soul and body, making the body not just a container for the soul, but the body itself becomes an extension of the soul."

According to the explanation, this rune has a very specific use. It ensures that the body and soul can never be separated, and in theory, to destroy the body, you would need to destroy the soul as well, meaning that without attacks capable of destroying the soul, it's impossible to do much against a person who has this rune.

The most fundamental point is that the soul and body become one, causing everything the body has, the soul also has, and everything the soul has, the body also has.

"Lyrancrotia Rune... allows an existential connection with something, the something chosen for the connection can be anything, and when connected, they fundamentally become existences that need each other more than anything, but at the same time cannot be affected without affecting the other together."

This one is a bit complex, and I'm too stupid to understand the concept behind it, but all I gathered is that the connected "something" cannot be destroyed if the other is not destroyed at the same time.

"Aiorivitra Rune... preparation rune, allows shaping the body, soul, and mind into a suitable container, making it a perfect fusion."

This one seems more complex than all the others. It has a lengthy explanation of its functionality, along with several strange drawings that I don't recognize.

"Why do all these runes together form my name... i-it's just a coincidence... i-it can't be that my name is..." In this world, names are engraved in the soul from the moment you receive a name.

In other words, theoretically, if a name were a rune, that rune would be engraved in the soul and impossible to erase.

"..." I continue reading about what this so-called perfect container is.

The descriptions say the following:

"First... the head, arms, legs, and torso of different gods... followed by the heart of [Aurora]... after that, combine with the internal organs of various monsters, and finally, for the formation of the brain, the essence and flesh of Stygian."

The descriptions talk about the process of assembly.

After assembling a body using these parts, just putting a soul in the body and those four previous runes will do the work, uniting the soul and body into one.

And thus, a perfect chimera is born. From what I see on the paper, the creation of the perfect body went through 3 changes before being completed.

"N-No... t-this isn't true... I-I'm not just a walking corpse... t-this is a lie."

I run to the three tubes in front of the table and pull the cloth. What I see shocks me even more.

In the tube on the left, there is a large number 1, and inside, there is a body that looks exactly like me, with a severe injury to the stomach.

In the tube on the left, there is a large number 2, and there is another body identical to me, but the eyes of the body have something beyond a lack of vitality, more like a destroyed mind. In the middle tube, there is the number 3 engraved on it, and it's completely empty.

"T-This is a lie... i-it's not true."

I run to the three little books. I open the first one, and on the first page, it says "Ayla's Diary."

It starts talking in a way that makes it obvious that I was the one who wrote it, even though I have no memory of ever having written a diary.

The beginning talks about how it was interesting and amazing to have incredible magic, even though my current self doesn't know anything beyond healing, and I can't even use magic of other elements. Reading further, it explains that "I" quickly discovered various things, and the worst was that I was not immortal like the Ayla from the game.

It seems that only the soul was immortal, but not the body, which resulted in failure. The next lines don't seem to have been written by me, but as it was a failure, the runes were changed.

The book ends at the part that explains the errors that existed. I quickly grab the second little book. In the second book, my "self" who writes seems to have more restrictions than the first one, not knowing magic and having an affinity for nothing but healing.

However, in compensation, it had all the memories it should have, as well as some very interesting and powerful relics.

But soon, this "me" discovered everything and tried to travel back in time to try to prevent Stygian's birth, theoretically, without Stygian, the perfect body couldn't be created.

But it was a failure because no one wanted to pay attention to the warnings, and they even attacked aggressively, although they couldn't do much because of the relics.

This version of me also discovered that Uriel dies to Stygian, so it tried to make a deal with Stygian, who is theoretically my "father" because of the part of him that we have.

In the end, the failure of this version is that the mind was not immortal, so the handwriting changes again, as if it wasn't me who had written it. In this part, it was finally altered to the four runes I had seen in the scroll.

After the second failure, everything that was missing was discovered, and it was altered to the four runes I had seen in the scroll. Those four runes fix all the flaws of the perfect body.

With them, the perfect body could be created, and thus the third version of Ayla was created, the most limited version of all.

This version had magic, memories, and status sealed, while several of the relics that this version could obtain were also taken away.

"N-No, this is wrong." I throw everything on the floor. I refuse to believe that I am just a walking corpse, kept alive by various runes. I refuse to believe that I am practically a zombie that was assembled as a doll, taking things out and putting them in until it worked.

The process was basically adding runes to me that couldn't be removed. In theory, I must have more than 7 runes engraved in my soul, since they can't be removed.

While Aurora played with my memories, feelings, and status.

I refuse to believe that those things in the tubes are also my body, and that at some point I inhabited them.

'Time magic...' If this is true, the 7 must partially know the truth. From what I gathered, with each new body, time was rewound before "my birth," so none of the 7 remember the other versions, but they must know about them because they have many powers.

"This is wrong... I-I'm not a zombie... I-I'm not a chimera, I'm human!" I say, crying as I open the third little book.

It is obviously blank, showing that it is the book I should use, indicating that each version of me that found this place took one of the little books for itself to write about what it discovered.

I fall to my knees, crying.

"That's it... sniff... I-I'm just a monster created in a laboratory..."

I'm not even human. Does it even make sense to want to go back to my world or want to discover more?

What do I need to discover more things for? I'm just a monster created from the pieces of other beings.

I lie in a fetal position, crying while holding the book. I always thought that even though everything was bad, I was still myself, always thought I wouldn't lose who I am, no matter what.

But now I don't even know who I am anymore. I thought I was a human, but I discover that I'm just an assembled corpse, like a toy. How can I know if I'm really me?

I may just be a bunch of false memories implanted in my mind to make this "game" more interesting.

I'm just a monster, and still of the same kind as the librarian. What really sets me apart from all the monsters I've seen?

I don't know who I am anymore. How can I know if I'm really who I believe I am? An impossible paradox to answer. Am I or am I not myself?