pressuresore

I want to die peacefully. I still haven't come to terms with death but I've always thought about it. 

It all started with life. I wondered what life is. What would you consider a wonderful life? What does it mean to live your life to the fullest? How do you achieve it? As I was looking for answers for these questions, I saw death as an easier way of doing things. 

With death, you won't struggle with food, clothes, or any basic necessities. With death, you won't have to think about what tomorrow may bring again. There will be no molesters. There will be no one to call you stupid. And no one to tell you how much you're lacking.

I haven't made peace with death but, we're talking. Death, how do I die peacefully?

How To Die Peacefully

I found this out later on but I'll say it now because I might forget. My oldest sister told us that she actually wanted to continue taking up Bachelor of Secondary Education major in Biology but the dean or the chairman of the program didn't allow her because she was transferee.

She was actually accepted in a lot of universities when she graduated in highschool, this university was one of them. Anyway, she was told that the only way for her to transfer is to take up Bachelor of Elementary Education. She can't do anything about it. As she was going out, she saw the report card of the person going in after her. Line of 7s. It was the worst. Then she heard the dean or the chairman say, Ma'am (it's a name she didn't hear), is this your daughter? She didn't hear anything after that because she was already outside. She then saw the girl happily smiling with her mom. She was accepted, apparently.

That's when she felt the burden getting heavier. Why was she accepted with that kind of grades while she wasn't even with a dean's lister from her past university? Just because her mom is the secretary of the president of the whole campus? Just because her dad is also a chairman of another program? She found this all out later on.

She didn't want to continue enrolling at that time. She felt that everything was so unfair. That everyone should be given a chance based on their own merits and not by their parents'. She was disappointed and disgusted with the school. But she still had to enroll. She doesn't have the power to say anything.

Anyway, that's how she became an elementary school teacher. But before that, let's go back to how I was removed from the honor roll because of a minor subject called Arts. Yeah, I was removed. Good thing that my scholarship gave me a chance so I still continued to be a scholar. Yes, I was a scholar, from grade 5 until I finished college.

Let's go back to the honor roll, why do I keep being sidetracked?! An average of anything lower than 80 at school was removed from the honor roll. Still, I was one of the three people to represent our school during a mathematics quiz bee. All the three participants are from our section, not her section B. I really hate her, that Arts teacher that looks like a mosaic or an abstract or maybe like the scream.

After that ordeal, yeah it was, I never had to see her "teach" again because she wasn't teaching any of the star sections in any grade anymore. From grade 8 to 10, I was on the honor roll once again. My teacher in Social studies even wanted me to take my senior high school in that school and to take up HUMSS because he was amazed by my views on politics, and just my takes on anything related to societal problems. But, I didn't want to. If I did, I'd be forced to be the English club president again, the vice president of the Science club, a representative in the Mathematics club, and probably the president of the class. Yeah, that happened, so I don't want that again.

How was that possible you say? It's because vice presidents doesn't really do anything. Representatives are only there to compete. But, the president has to do it all. I don't want it. I hate leading. All I've done from elementary to junior high school was to lead a group, more like to make a group project alone.

Also, I wasn't really into humanities and social sciences, I enjoy them but not as much as biology, physics, and chemistry. So, I took up STEM. Actually, my acceptance in that school wasn't known until May. They only started announcing the results around May and my past school started accepting students on the first week of May. I didn't enroll there, I was scared but I was also confident that I'd get accepted because the entrance exam was very easy. Good thing I waited, I was called a week after the enrollment from my past school.

So, I successfully changed schools.

The culture 2