pressuresore

I want to die peacefully. I still haven't come to terms with death but I've always thought about it. 

It all started with life. I wondered what life is. What would you consider a wonderful life? What does it mean to live your life to the fullest? How do you achieve it? As I was looking for answers for these questions, I saw death as an easier way of doing things. 

With death, you won't struggle with food, clothes, or any basic necessities. With death, you won't have to think about what tomorrow may bring again. There will be no molesters. There will be no one to call you stupid. And no one to tell you how much you're lacking.

I haven't made peace with death but, we're talking. Death, how do I die peacefully?

How To Die Peacefully

I can finally say, it was worth changing schools. You see, this school is actually known for only accepting students with either brains, money, or both. It just so happens that while some may not be the brightest, they're not too far. Everyone can catch up with the topic.

The progress was much faster than my past schools. Everyone is on edge trying to keep up with the topics. We even talked about three topics within an hour. I love it. I really love it.

But, I think we need to slow down. I'm not used to it. I was so used to listening for 10 minutes and understanding the topic being said and not relaxing after because there still are people that doesn't understand it. My mind is very stimulated right now. I need to rest.

I used to love math but, I can't keep up. I hate calculus. Can I drop the subject? My mom would probably kill me. Well, not like she minds me having anything lower than 85 now, she still doesn't like the 79 and below as grades but, she's not as strict as back then. Good thing that we had that argument.

How can I keep up with this calculus though? I understand limits and functions but how do you differentiate and integrate them?! Our teacher already taught us, I understood too. However, now that we're given the problem, how do you do it again? Also, why do I need to know these? I don't care how tangent lines only meet ones or if they've meet their 90⁰ angle.

I just want to drop this subject. I hate it. I hate math. I love it actually. But I hate calculus. I hate everything about it. Who made that calculus anyway? He's the bane of all humanity. He shouldn't have tried thinking about it. I hate him. He's annoying and the worst person there is. To calculus, I hate you in the bottom of my adrenal glands. You're the most stressful thing I've ever known.

I actually think I'm not totally at fault in this. Think about it, I was learning together with people that weren't so smart from elementary to junior high school. Although it may have been better during my junior high school years, we still had to repeat the topics. There's also the fact that Calculus is being taught at 2 to 3 pm, a time for sleeping. I usually skipped classes in the afternoon because it's boring and I get sleepy. It's not my fault that they were boring. And, why is my teacher always talking to the board? She's also very soft spoken. Ugh!

I hate this. I don't understand anything. This is bad. I'm so dumb. I can't do it. What if I get 75? Or what if I fail? How embarrassing is that? I hate it. I hate everything.

Stimulating