32. Write for yourself not for others

(K'un Lun Temple)

Inside the temple, where Spider-Mans body lies wrapped in gauze, it is quiet. Not a sound is heard. The body remains untouched, evident by the bit of dust on it.

The last thing one would expect to see is a horde of spiders surrounding it. If one were to get close enough, one would see the gaze of the small creatures transfixed on the corpse. But they do not move. Not a twitch of their legs or thorax. Their eyes remain steady and unmoving. As if they are waiting for something.

They do not wait long.

A wisp of fire comes through the door. The fire's light reflects on their black eyes before it enters the corpse. Two seconds later the horde of Spiders move forward.

*****

The ride in the Quinjet has been a quiet one. None of the present Avengers feel like celebrating. They defeated the Phoenix Five, but it was a hollow victory due to the loss of dear friends, shattered trust, and the frightening unpredictable future. After the fight, the X-Men decided to just find their own way home. Most of them at least. A small number of them ran because they knew they made mistakes that would not be so easily forgiven.

A few X-Men did want to come with the Avengers to collect Spider-Mans body, Iceman because he was close to him and Kitty and Rogue for moral support for him and Logan, but some of the Avengers didn't welcome their presence. And the three couldn't blame them.

And after hearing from Hope that she revived many of the lives lost except the two they would have been overjoyed to hear…

-well the feeling of guilt and shame only grew.

Said young woman is sitting in the cockpit of the Quinjet looking out the window as they fly over the mountains of china.

Her gaze is not focused on anything or anywhere, just letting it sweep the landscape as her mind is elsewhere.

The only other occupant in the room that was flying the Quinjet was Natasha Romanoff, AKA the Black Widow. And she can pretty much guess what the younger of the two is thinking of.

Widow glances at her, "Don't beat yourself up kid," she says as she looks back ahead while hope keeps her attention elsewhere, "You saved the world and you managed to bring back a lot of lives lost."

Not looking away from the window, Hope morosely responds, "But it wasn't enough. I couldn't bring everyone back."

Nat's face becomes blank, "It's not a perfect win, but still a win."

A moment of silence passes, "The Phoenix wouldn't let me bring them back," she says making the former KGB fully look at her for a second, "When I tried to bring back Professor Xavier, the Phoenix got so mad. It showed me how much it hated him. How it felt when Xavier locked it in a cage inside Jean Grey's mind. And how he was hurting Jean in doing so."

Widow is not surprised. She's read the SHIELD files on the late and how Charles was afraid of her immense power and tried to help her by containing it.

"And it was because of that, she couldn't properly grow into her powers."

That gets Widow's attention.

"What do you mean?" Natasha asks as she looks back and forth between the young mutant and the skies.

Hope looks down in thought as she explains, "Jean was the perfect avatar for it. Somehow the Phoenix knew she would be able to control all the power it had," she closes her eyes and sighs, "But because of Xavier essentially stunting her growth, the power overwhelmed her," she fully turns to Widow, "That's why everyone who wields that power eventually loses their minds. Because that power was too much for them."

"And Jean would have handled it better?" Natasha asks.

Hope nods in response.

Huh. That's something she was not aware of. And if that is the case then that will complicate things with Scott Summer's trial, since the man killed Xavier while he was wielding the Phoenix Force.

She can only imagine how Logan will feel about this.

"What about Spider-Man?" Black Widow asks, "I know he's had interactions with the original X-Men, but I doubt he's done anything to earn the same hate from the Phoenix."

"He didn't."

The former KGB gazes curiously at Hope as the young mutant looks at her lap in confusion, "Then why didn't it let you bring him back.?"

Hope shrugs helplessly, "That's just it, I don't know. I mean with Xavier it showed me why it wouldn't do that, but with Spider-Man…" she looks at her hands as she clenched them, "It was like I was pushing a brick wall. It wouldn't move. It didn't want me to do anything to him. And what it felt wasn't anger or anything like that, hell I couldn't even tell what it was."

Well, that wasn't very helpful. Widow knows she can't blame the kid, Hope herself barely understands what happened with her "destiny" and all, but that doesn't mean she's not annoyed.

If what she's telling her is true, then the Phoenix had no reason not to bring back Spider-Man. Which could have gone a long way in mending the torn relations between Avengers and X-Men. Then again, the Phoenix had no obvious reason not to do it. It didn't show Hope why, just that it didn't want to. And though Romanov doesn't understand cosmic beings as well as others, she does know that they do small things for big reasons.

"Did you know him?"

She's brought out of her musing as she looks to the younger woman who is looking at her curiously.