Chapter 7: Advertise or perish!
Numerous adventurers were gathered outside the Still Pond Dungeon. A rape dungeon was no joke. For, the rules were clear. Murder dungeons were ok, rape ones were not.
It took some nerve for mobs to stray away from the unspoken rule between dungeon cores and guild masters. The guild master was watching as the catapults were being positioned. He was not, under no circumstances, going to allow for the dungeon to remain standing.
"Wait, wait. There was a misunderstanding!" A Naga came out of the dungeon, followed by a vampire.
"Load," the guild master yelled, and the few catapults that were already set were loaded with spiked iron balls. The Naga paled visibly, and the vampire stepped before him.
"We are not a rape dungeon," the vampire said, loud and clear. "We are a dental care dungeon."
The guild master blinked.
A what now?
"Hold," maybe it was just because they made his lips turn up in a smile, but he decided to listen to them. What sort of outlandish explanation could they pull out of their hats, anyway?
The Naga slithered to the side so that the vampire was no longer hiding him and smiled.
"That is right. We invented the toothpaste. A miracle cure for rotting teeth and bad breath! In the future, we hope we can invent more things and grow our clinic," Chavu grinned widely.
He knew, by the stunned looks on the adventurer's faces, that he had gotten them to think. Yet, he focused on the first person who had spoken, figuring he must be the guild master.
"Let me try the toothpaste. If it is poisonous, my guild will level your clinic to the ground," the guild master told them with a straight face. Chavu handed a container with toothpaste to Marcellus, and the vampire went to the guild master.
"That is the thing they put in my mouth," the blonde healer whined. A blanket was placed around his shoulders.
"Your teeth looked ready to fall. We did you a favor," Marcellus retorted, as he gave the dwarven guild master the container with the toothpaste.
The dwarf scooped up some of the mixture on his finger, and then began to rub it against his teeth. He grimaced at the taste.
Some of the catapults creaked.
"Hold," the dwarf said. Marcellus handed him a water skin. The dwarf rinsed his teeth and looked around for a mirror. Marcellus handed him the one the system had made for him.
The guild master gasped, and the gears of the catapults creaked again.
"Don't shoot! This is a miracle," the man exclaimed, baring his teeth to the nearest adventurer. "See? My teeth have never been this white! The taste was awful, though."
"My dungeon core," Marcellus pointed at Chavu, who waved. "Was just trying to advertise. We both would like to apologize for any trauma done to your healer."
"A dental clinic dungeon, now I have seen everything," the dwarf mused. Then, he looked towards the catapults. "Unload all those and prepare them for transport. We will not be the one guild known for setting a clinic to the torch."
"What about me? The Naga touched my tongue," the healer with the blanket whined.
"You will go in consoling for two weeks. My boy, you have to learn to bounce back from certain things," the dwarf pocketed the container with the toothpaste and handed the surprised Marcellus a silver coin.
"For your product. Anyone who wants to get their teeth checked out, rise your hands," the guild master spoke, and a couple of hands rose. Marcellus bit his lower lip. How was he going to tell them that neither he nor Chavu knew anything about teeth?
"We don't have a license to conduct examinations," Marcellus tried to bullshit his way out of this, but the dwarf was having none of that.
"You either examine all their teeth," the dwarf pointed at the adventurers, whose arms were still in the air. "Or I will launch all the catapults at the same time."
Marcellus gulped and went back to Chavu.
"They want dental check-ups," Marcellus whispered. Chavu smiled.
"We have the system. She can tell us what is wrong with their teeth and how to treat them. I have no idea what to do for the lack of tools. Do you think they could pay beforehand?" Chavu asked.
Marcellus handed him the silver coin.
"The guild master did pay. I have no idea about the rest," Marcellus then saw a screen appear before the adventurers. He was far too far to read it, but, by the grumbling adventurers, he could tell that they didn't like it.
Chavu blinked.
Wait, what had happened to his money?
"If only ten gold coins were accepted by the pedestal, where did the rest of my money go to?" Chavu was ready to rip the snappy auntie a new one. Why hadn't she told him that before? He was all out of funds, and she had kept this from him!
The adventurers lined up, and it was only the "molested" healer and his party who stayed by the catapults. The examinations were done outside the dungeon. Away from the frogs.
The system would scan the people with mana and give her verdicts. Chavu found that, after the tenth loose tooth he had to pull out by tying it to a string and letting Marcellus run in the opposite direction of the patient, that this was quite fun. Better than rearranging spikes and the like.
Chavu stashed away all the coins. He didn't have ten gold coins worth of them for the pedestal. He saw that Marcellus was eyeing an item shop that the adventurers have set up before the "clinic".
"Go and browse. My treat," Chavu handed the vampire their winnings. Marcellus blinked. He nodded and headed to the stand.
He just hoped the adventurers didn't decide to stay in here for longer than the checkups were going to last...