Chapter 43 – Ronin's Request (2)

Rain's eyes widen in surprise. He was aware that her parents disappeared a few years ago, and while it's not uncommon for people to get stuck in Rites or something else in Asphodel for quite some time, multi-year absences typically mean only one thing. So, he figured her parents are dead. However, there's a problem with her answer...

'That...makes even less sense than the clans wanting to kill her.'

Rain directs a skeptical gaze at her, trying to keep his voice diplomatic. 

"Okay...same question. Why do you think that?"

Ronin sighs and looks away from Rain, as though she's staring off through the walls of her room. After a few moments of silence, she finally speaks, her voice resigned and somber. 

"I can imagine that's hard to believe...after all, my dad personified humanity's hopes and perseverance against the Fel. The clans and their leaders should be grateful to him...deferential, even. Well, that was true...for a time.

"For pretty much as long as the clans have existed, they kept a good relationship with my parents. After all, my dad helped a lot of them get founded and gain influence in the early days of the Rifts, as a way to ensure coordinated efforts against the Fel. Despite that, he preferred to remain neutral...a kind of mediator between the clans, instead of joining any of them. Even though he wouldn't officially side with any of them, they all treated him with respect, and kept him apprised of what they learned. He was kind of an honorary member of all clans.

"That began to change a few months before my dad disappeared, though. First, he seemed worried about the decisions of the clans in general. Then, he stopped being included in their major meetings and discussions. Before that last trip of his to Asphodel, he told my mom that he was investigating something related to the clans' activities. That was the last we ever heard from him, as far as I know.

"I suspect that my parents kept a lot of the specifics at the time hidden from me. In the months after my dad's disappearance, my mom...changed. From the very start, it was as if she was already in mourning, even though he was just supposed to be missing. More importantly, she became outright hostile towards the clans. Some of them tried to meet with or talk to her after dad disappeared, and she'd only grow furious and turn them away. 

"Over the next year after my dad disappeared, my mom became more and more heartbroken...more bitter...more hateful of the clans. Eventually, she sat me down one day when I was thirteen and told me that she was going to go on a trip to Asphodel. She said that it was something that dad would have wanted her to do.

"She went through great pains to make sure that I would be looked after by some family friends, not from the clans, then she left on her trip. That was the last I ever saw of her. Looking back...the way my care was seamlessly arranged after she disappeared...I wonder. Did she know that she wasn't coming back from that trip before she left? If so, I wish she'd told me...maybe then..." 

Ronin trails off, her expression becoming vaguely wistful, and a heavy silence descends over the room. Rain's jaw is clenched, a wave of conflicting emotions boiling inside him. He's in shock, because he certainly agrees with Ronin that, if the clans didn't outright murder her parents, some of the clans' questionable actions at least played a role in their deaths. 

He's angry, because he can't fathom that something as grotesquely vile as what Ronin's story implies actually happened. He can't think of a single situation, a single fact, that would justify the clans if they decided to target the legendary Fated Blade's family. 

He's scared, because her dad was one of if not the strongest Marked humanity has ever produced. If the clans or someone associated with them actually managed to kill him, then they'd have to be truly monstrous. If that calamitous force is directing its malice at Ronin, and perhaps now the better-informed Rain...the situation could be quite dire. 

Finally, more than anything Rain is...sad. He's sad for humanity and its loss, but that pales in comparison to his sadness for Ronin. He grew up without his parents, too, and he knows all the struggles that come with that. However, in some specific ways, Ronin's situation might have been even worse than his. 

For one, he never got to know what he missed out on. He was found at the orphanage as an infant, and grew up being able to tell himself that it could have been worse even if he was raised by his parents. Not Ronin, though. She got to spend most of her childhood in, by all accounts, a warm and loving home with wonderful parents. Then, it was all taken from her over the span of one excruciating year. 

Similarly, it's easy for him to ignore why he had to grow up an orphan. He can tell himself that his parents just died from bad luck, that they wanted a better life for him, or any number of tolerable reasons. But Ronin...she's both painfully aware of the fact that her parents willingly left her to do something dangerous, and frustratingly unaware of the finer details for why she was made an orphan. In her position...Rain's not sure he'd have anything but rage for the world at large. 

'Goddamnit...if I feel any more sorry for this girl, Unhinged is going to have me offering her a kidney...'

Rain sighs internally, thinking over what he should say. After a few moments, he realizes that there's nothing that would be meaningful...not from him. Not really. He's felt it himself. When it comes to the immutable past, sorry is an empty phrase, and condolences are for the guilt of those consoling. The only thing to do is to focus on the present and the future.

He glances at Ronin, who is still lost in thought. 

"Ronin..."

Her eyes widen as her gaze returns to him in surprise, as though she forgot her circumstances for a moment.

"Yes?"

Her tone has a trace of curiosity, but it's deflated. He directs a polite smile at her, trying to appear appreciative. 

"This morning I was a potential enemy, and now you're remembering something painful for my benefit. So, I want you to know that I mean it when I say...thank you. As for your suspicions...about the clans being involved in your parents' deaths...I believe you, for whatever little that is worth."

Rain stares at him for a moment, an expression that seems to be a mix of confusion and appreciation evident on her face. Eventually, she speaks, a hint of surprise in her voice. 

"Strange...most people just want to apologize. Quite frankly that's part of why I hated the idea of having to tell you...I'm sick of hearing it."

Hearing her words, he can't help but remember all the prospective families who'd talk about him being depressing...who seemed to think he was broken when their apologies didn't make him feel better about his situation. Rain lets out a humorless snort, his lips pressing into a thin, darkly amused smile, and he directs a serious gaze at Ronin. 

"Apologies don't do a damn thing for orphans, and definitely not for their dead parents. They just make the person receiving them feel like they've got to act a little bit happier, the right amount of grateful, just so the one apologizing won't feel some kind of way. But you don't owe anyone fake gratitude or empty smiles, Ronin. Not one goddamn bit. So, no...I won't apologize or give you my condolences. You can be as bitter...as sad...as furious as you want, and a 'sorry' not erasing those feelings doesn't make you broken, Ronin."

While her face remains relatively stoic, pleasant surprise takes root in Ronin's eyes as she looks back at Rain, studying him. After a few moments, he thinks he sees her cold eyes warm, just the faintest degree. Then, her mouth tugs up at the corners, and her voice becomes amused. 

"Careful Rain...you're starting to sound an awful lot like my ally."

Rain blinks in surprise, then curses himself internally. 

'Dammit...she's right...I started projecting my own past onto her and got overly invested.'

However, he knows that's not quite all it is. Since they've started talking, the more time he's spent learning about her, the more curious he's become. There's real empathy at play, given their shared experiences, but there's also something...more.

Rain feels an inexplicable pull towards Ronin, a burning desire to understand her. It's as though she's a train hurtling towards disaster that he wants to watch crash, hoping that he'll have the glee of seeing the obstacles unexpectedly destroyed. The thought of looking away from her story...it displeases him. But still...

'I need to reel it in, because I'm not sure I can be her ally...not yet...'

Pulling himself from his strange thoughts, he gives her an amused smile and nods his acknowledgement. 

"It seems you're right...forgive me for getting carried away..."

The hint of a smile still on her face, Ronin just shakes her head, her voice nonchalant. 

"I don't mind. I'm guessing this means that you have more questions?"

Rain nods hesitantly, his expression apologetic. 

"Yes...I do. While I understand the situation with your parents, that doesn't necessarily mean they'd kill you, too. After all, it seems as though they left your mother alone for a year, based on what you said. Plus, you haven't traveled to Asphodel, investigating the clans' business, like your parents did. That makes me wonder why you're so sure that they're trying to kill you now, and why they waited all these years. I can't imagine it'd be that hard if they put their minds to it, especially before you were Marked."

Ronin nods confidently, as though she's been expecting this line of questioning. She just gazes at Rain evenly, her voice calm and matter-of-fact.

"For the first two years after my mom...died...there was nothing to make me suspect the clans wanted me dead. A few clan-independent Marked, friends of my parents, lived with me in my family home, taking care of me like older, adoptive siblings. Things were...fine...you could say. However, about two years ago, something...changed. 

"Since my parents' deaths, the clans had pretty much left me alone up to that point. But all of a sudden, they became much more interested in trying to meet with me, to the point that it made some of my caretakers nervous. Soon, anytime I was outside of the family estate, there was evidence that I was being watched...followed. Two of the clans wanted me to pledge to them – Veyron and Abel. When they were told in no uncertain terms that I wasn't interested, and never would be, their advances toward me declined...for a while. 

"However, a couple of months later, a non-Marked man tried to stab me while I was out in the city. Fortunately, I was well trained by my parents and caretakers, and I was able to kill him and escape. The police thought it was just a robber looking for an easy target, but...the man never asked me for anything, and he was too skilled for a random man. My caretakers became concerned, investigating the man's history, and they found financial traces of him being paid a large sum a few days prior. That's when we realized someone paid him to kill me.

"Though the timing was suspicious, we weren't sure that the clans were behind it. However, we suspected that the reason they would have used a mundane human for the hit is because having a Marked involved would be too high profile of a risk. So, after that, I never left the estate without one of my Paragon caretakers with me. The clans wouldn't have risked killing a Paragon in the mortal realm, since only another Marked would be able to kill them inside a city...it'd be too suspicious. 

"However, my caretakers were still semi-active in Asphodel, and it wasn't long before they started disappearing on their trips as well. Over the past year and a half, three of my four caretakers have disappeared – just slow enough so that it can be attributed to the dangers of being Marked.

"When I was finally Marked a month or so ago, my final caretaker Elisa warned me that the clans would probably use it as an opportunity to quietly eliminate me in Asphodel. Since us Legacies are trained to be killers from birth, and I'll be most defenseless during the Crucible, it's likely that a decent number of Legacies have been sent here with orders to kill me, should they find us crossing paths in Asphodel."

As Ronin finishes her story, watching Rain's reaction carefully, he merely stares at the ground in front of him with a tense expression, cold sweat forming on the back of his neck. It's for two simple reasons. The first is...the danger Ronin is facing is clearly as real as it is dire. The second is...her situation absolutely infuriates him. 

To have every ounce of control over your life, everything that makes you who you are, every person and opportunity that makes you value your life taken from you so maliciously...it's vile. The very thought of being cornered that way, stripped of his options one-by-one...the injustice fills Rain with a rage so profound that he has the urge to murder everyone responsible for such cruelty. And therein lies his problem...

...he can feel that urge, and...it's been deemed worthy by Unhinged.