A Gobsmacking Press Conference

Monday, 14th August, 7 a.m

1 day, 23 hours after the start of Harry's trial The kitchen of Number 12, Grimmauld Place

Harry and Hermione, Sirius, Remus, and Arthur Weasley were eating breakfast; the twins were still upstairs.

Harry cast the Tempus charm, then looked round the table. "In an hour, four of us start our press conference in the Atrium. There I foresee a problem as almost certain to come up.

"Not quite four years ago, a bearded old man stood up in the Great Hall of Hogwarts and said that we all should avoid the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side, because if we didn't, we would 'die a most painful death.' Did his warning work? Was this part of the castle universally avoided?" Harry laughed. "I think every student in the school except for the Hufflepuffs wound up sneaking up there and opening the 'locked' door. It wouldn't surprise me if the Twins had hit the place before eating breakfast the next morning."

Arthur sighed. "I'm sure you're right."

Harry looked round the table at Arthur, Sirius, Remus, and Hermione. "Last night, I sent a letter to Barnabas Cuffe, editor-in-chief of the Daily Prophet, telling him about this morning's press conference. I wrote him that Rita Skeeter was not invited." Now Harry grinned evilly. "I've a plan what to do when, not if, Rita Skeeter, the illegal water-beetle animagus, sneaks in uninvited—but I bet the five of us can improve on the plan."

Immediately Hermione kissed Harry on the lips, because he had made a plan, instead of blindly rushing into something.

Asking the others turned out to be a great idea. Remus and Hermione were great planners, Hermione hated Rita, Sirius knew a thing or two about animagi, and Arthur had a rage against dishonourable witches that he needed to work out.

****

A half-hour later

The Hall of Prophecies, within the Department of Mysteries In the Ministry of Magic building

Harry, Hermione, Sirius, Remus, and Unspeakable Twenty-Two were gathered round a glass prophecy sphere. They had just replayed for the fourth time, Sybill Trelawney speaking in a strange voice, so that Hermione could confirm that she had written down the Prophecy correctly.

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have

thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...

By now, Sirius was not dressed like an Azkaban convict, or like an escaped fugitive; no, he was dressed in burgundy acromantula-silk robes, as befit Lord Black.

Remus likewise was wearing wizarding robes. But his robes were, shall we say, more modestly priced.

Hermione wore dressy Muggle clothes, as if she were attending church or going to a job interview.

But Harry was dressed to send a message. At the upcoming press conference, this message definitely would be sent.

After Hermione had confirmed that she had written the Prophecy correctly, she grinned at the rest of the foursome. "The 'power the Dark Lord knows not'? Teamwork!"

Several times, as Harry had replayed the Prophecy for Hermione, their Unspeakable escort had said, in that combination male/female voice, "I can't believe this prophecy is fulfilled." Indeed, the smoke in the prophecy-sphere was black, not white.

Now Unspeakable Twenty-Two worked up the courage to ask Harry, "How did you vanquish the Dark Lord?"

Harry grinned at the person of unknown gender. "Read tomorrow's Prophet and you'll find out."

****

Harry then looked at Hermione, Sirius and Remus, and said, "The Prophecy was made to Dumbledore, right? Before Neville and I were born, right? So much of Dumbledore's treatment of me now makes sense, in a sick way."

Hermione asked, "What do you mean, Harry?"

"Let's go back to 1981. The Prophecy says I can defeat Voldy, but I'm not guaranteed to. I could die. If Dumbledore sabotages me so I fight Voldy and die, then only Dumbledore can save Wizarding Britain from Voldy's evil, right? And thank Merlin, Dumbledore can't possibly lose a battle to the death with Voldy, right? So Dumbledore figures that if he sabotages me to death, he'll then defeat Voldy, and become an even bigger legend than after he defeated Grindelwald. On the other hand, if the Prophecy plays out like it seems to suggest, and I kill Voldy, then what happens to Dumbles? He becomes yesterday's news, a has-been. To Dumbles, who cannot not be the centre of attention, this second outcome is as horrid a fate as chopping off his wand-arm. So back in 1981, beginning on Halloween, Dumbles set out to weaken me magically—by bindings on my magical core—physically—by abuse by the Dursleys—and mentally—by Ron encouraging me to skive off studying, and by Dumbles not training me."

"Shit," said Remus. "If your theory is true, then the headmaster also organised events in 1981 so that your parents and the Longbottoms would be killed."

"Wouldn't surprise me," Harry said.

****

About a half-hour later: 8:03 a.m

The Atrium of the Ministry of Magic

Harry, Hermione, Sirius and Remus were standing by the Fountain of Magical Brethren. Kenneth Clark, Bozo the Daily Prophet photographer, and other reporters were gathered nearby; Ministry employees were looking curiously at the gathering as they rushed through the Atrium to get to work. One particular Ministry employee, Amelia Bones, watched everyone closely from ten feet away.

When the Tempus Charm said that the time was 8:03, Harry conjured an eighteen-inch-high dais, and the foursome stepped up onto it. The onlookers in the back gasped when they got

their first good look at Harry Potter.

It had to be Harry Potter they were seeing, for the messy black hair could belong to nobody else. But the green-eyed wizard teenager wore no glasses.

Neither did Harry Potter wear any sort of wizarding robes—not even Hogwarts robes. Instead, Harry Potter was dressed Muggle.

Harry's trousers were jeans. To be specific, they were properly-fitting jeans that were brand new—and thus were a rich, deep blue. Still, they were jeans, that most Muggle of garments.

Harry's jeans in front of his front-left pocket bulged, but only in one little place; whatever was in Harry's front-left pocket was small.

Covering Harry Potter's socks were not any sort of respectable wizard shoes; instead, he wore trainers. The trainers, where they were not rubber, were grey cloth—to match Harry's t- shirt.

The base colour of Harry's t-shirt was grey, the colour of London fog. In the front of the shirt was a grey blank space that was big enough to put artwork, but no artwork showed there.

At the bottom of the front of the t-shirt, below the large grey blank space, was text, in white and outlined in purple: "NO LONGER THE GOLDEN BOY OF GRYFFINDOR." All of the onlookers who had attended Hogwarts—which was to say, all onlookers but one—realised that neither white nor purple were colours that belonged to any House at Hogwarts.

****

Harry greeted the crowd, then introduced the three others on the dais— "First of all, the man with the Seventies moustache is Sirius Black."

People screamed, and cried for Madam Bones to arrest "the murderer." Madam Bones shook her head.

Calmly, Harry continued, "What you lot think you know, but 'know' wrongly, was that Sirius Black was tried and convicted for a whole list of crimes—one of which was the murder of Peter Pettigrew. Did you know that Peter Pettigrew did not truly die till yesterday? More about him later. Anyway, Sirius Black was never tried and never convicted. Instead, he was Stunned and thrown straight into Azkaban. Sirius Black, my sworn godfather, was in Azkaban for twelve years till he escaped. How he escaped is an interesting story, which he might or might not tell you. Oh, the trial that he never got? Listen up: He will get a trial next Friday, and I promise you, the trial won't be boring. One last thing about Sirius Black: Everyone, including him, assumed that he had been disowned. He wasn't. So when Arcturus Black, Lord Black, died, his grandson Sirius became the presumptive Lord Black. Sirius claimed the Lord Black ring two days ago."

Grinning Sirius held up his right fist and let the reporters see the Head of House Black ring.

Harry continued, "Next is Remus, R-E-M-U-S, Lupin, L-U-P-I-N. He taught DADA at Hogwarts during the 1993-94 school year. Whilst a student at Hogwarts, Remus, Sirius, my father James, and the accursed Pettigrew formed a group of friends who called themselves the Marauders. They were pranksters, and clever at it. However, the Marauders sometimes were cruel to my mother's Slytherin friend, Severus Snape."

Sirius shrugged; Remus looked ashamed. Madame Bones was nodding.

"Third up here is my yearmate Hermione, H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E, Granger, G-R-A-N-G-E-R. She, like my mum, is Muggle-born; and she, like my mum, has the most brilliant mind of all the Hogwarts students in her year. But Hermione also has blood-connexions to the wizarding world: two days ago, she learnt she is the underage Head of House Dagworth-Granger, which was a previously dormant House"—Hermione showed off her right hand's own fancy ring. "Also, in one of the great ironies of the universe, Hermione is a great-great-granddaughter of Ramses Malfoy."

"Oh, bollocks," someone in the crowd said.

Now Harry was grinning mischievously. "One other thing I'll mention about Hermione, though I don't know why I'd even bother to tell you this, because I'm sure nobody in Wizarding Britain cares to know. Anyway, as of two days ago, Hermione became my betrothed. I proposed to her on the steps of Gringotts."

The crowd became loud.

Grinning Hermione held up her left fist, showing off the Potter betrothal ring there. Bozo stepped forwards, to take a close-up of the ring.

As Bozo was moving back into the line of reporters, and so briefly had his back turned to Harry and Hermione, the couple kissed on the dais.

"Sod it all, I lost the bet," a wizard said.

When the clamour finally died down, Harry said, "Lastly, up here is I, Harry James Potter. I grew up in the Muggle world, where nobody has heard of me. Here in the wizarding world, I'm famous, but listen carefully: Every single thing you think you know about me is wrong."

Now the crowd looked confused: How can everything we have heard about the Boy Who Lived be wrong?

Harry said, "Let's take Halloween of 1981. Who was there? My father, my mother, Voldemort and me."

The crowd gasped when Harry said that name, which made Harry roll his eyes.

"My father died that night, my mother died by my cot," crib, "and Voldemort's body disappeared. I've vivid memories of that night, due to Dementor exposure—but I've never told anyone what I remember. So everything you think you know about that night, came from

someone who wasn't there, and who made up a story that sounded dramatic. Myself, I suspect Dumbledore is who made up the story, because it's something he'd do."

The crowd murmured. Anything bad that was spoken about the bearded Leader of the Light was heresy. To have Dumbledore's protégé utter such words was shocking.

Harry continued, "So what actually happened? My memory starts with my father yelling, 'Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!' Less than a minute later, Dad was dead. By then my mum had scooped me up, and had run upstairs to the nursery. Soon my mother was standing by my cot, facing Voldemort. Twice he said, 'Move aside'; twice she said, 'Don't kill Harry, take me instead.' Voldemort said, 'Very well,' then he spoke strange words that my toddler-self didn't understand. Green light came out of his wand, hit my mum in the chest and she dropped. I cried, 'Mummy, Mummy!' but she wouldn't wake up. Meanwhile, Voldemort, ignoring what he'd just promised my mum, tried to kill me. Again he spoke the strange words, and again green light came out of his wand. The green light hit my forehead—which hurt lots. But then the green light bounced off me, went back to Voldemort, and hit him on his ankle. He turned into black smoke, inside his robes. His black robes dropped when nobody was holding them up anymore. His wand made a noise when it hit the floor."

Harry's listeners were silent, except for Hermione, who sniffled whilst she hugged him.

Harry said, "How did Voldy get smoked? Maybe Toddler-I did something, with Merlin-level magic that I used to have, before Dumbledore added two more bindings to my magical core. But what I think happened was that my mother—whom you lot sneer at because she was Muggle-born—did something clever with Charms or Runes, which never has been achieved before or since."

Remus said, "Lily was truly brilliant at Hogwarts."

Sirius shook his head ruefully. "I can't count how many times she pranked us."

Harry said, "When Voldemort AK'd my forehead, I got the lightning-bolt scar. I'll have more to say about my scar in a bit. But remember how I told you that I grew up in the Muggle world? This means that every sentence on every page of those Harry Potter books by Roy Locke is a lie. Those books are cover-to-cover lies! And over at the Daily Prophet, every word about me that quoted Cornelius Fudge, or that is written by Rita Skeeter, is a lie."

"Every word?" Kenneth Clark asked.

Harry looked about. "Speaking of Rita Skeeter, I don't see her here. Perhaps she decided to skive off this press conference. After all, I told her editor that Rita was not invited."

Then Harry said, "But back to my lightning-bolt scar. It's as famous as my 'Boy Who Lived' nickname. But I've always hated that scar. Mainly because it was a curse-scar, always looking red and freshly cut, and nothing that any Muggle nurse tried, could make it heal. Oddly, Madam Pomfrey, over at Hogwarts, never even tried to heal my scar—probably on Dumbledore's orders. But two days ago, the goblins at Gringotts solved the problem of my scar. For the past two days, my scar has been healing nicely."

Harry used his right hand to pull his bangs up off his forehead. Someone in the crowd said, "It's only pink now."

Bozo stepped forwards to take another close-up photograph. Harry hated the camera-flash going off right in his eyes.

When Bozo had stepped back amongst the other reporters, Harry said, "But like I said, I've always hated the scar. You lot see this lightning-bolt scar as the sign that I survived the Killing Curse; I see this goddamned scar as the lifetime disfiguration I was stuck with, seconds after both my parents were killed. Anyway, now that the scar can heal, I want it healed completely—as in gone. Hermione, will you do the honours? Sirius and Remus, will you double-check her work?"

Harry turned so that he was facing Hermione. With her left hand, Hermione lifted Harry's bangs off his forehead; Hermione's right hand held her wand, which was pointed at Harry's scar. "Episkey," she incanted.

"You did it, Hermione," Sirius said. "It's gone," Remus agreed.

"Once more, just to be sure," said Hermione. "Episkey."

As Hermione restowed her wand, someone in the crowd said, "It's the end of an era."

Harry said, "Indeed it is, but for more reasons than my scar disappearing. Let me tell you why I want to talk with the press today."

Harry looked round and said, "Everything started twelve days ago, on 2nd August. I was in a play park, arguing with my cousin Dudley, D-U-D-L-E-Y—and don't ask for his last name, because I won't tell you. Anyway, I was arguing with my cousin Dudley, it was after dark, nobody else was in sight, and two Dementors showed up and tried to Kiss both Dudley and me."

****

Minutes later

Harry was saying, "...Two days ago but after the trial, I talked with Madam Bones about what happened. This was the first time I was interviewed about the Dementors and my Patronus. Before the trial? Nobody in the DMLE spoke to me, Madam Bones didn't speak to me, and Dumbledore didn't speak to me. But this wasn't the only way that proper procedure was ignored. If any other fifteen-year-old wizard were accused of underage magic and violating the Statute of Secrecy, this other kid wizard would get a hearing in front of Madam Bones, in her office"—the real Madam Bones nodded—"but nooo, the Boy Who Lived got a trial in front of the full Wizengamot."

Harry looked about. "Madam Bones is a few feet away from me now, and reporter Kenneth Clark stands in front of me; both of them were in Courtroom Ten two days ago, and can

confirm what I'm about to say. The reason I tell you 'These two people were there' is because what I'm about to tell you sounds like the most ridiculous tall tale you've ever heard.

"The first sign of how bad things would be for me, two days ago, was when I walked into Courtroom Ten at 8:03, thinking I was coming to court fifty-seven minutes early "

****

Minutes later, Harry was saying, "...So after the chains exploded, and my stag-Patronus stabbed the Dementor in multiple places with its antlers, Lucius Malfoy fired an AK at me. Now, what normal person would cast the Killing Curse in front of sixty or seventy witnesses? Much less, what normal person would cast the Killing Curse in a courtroom? But I guess somehow Lucy thought he wouldn't be punished for it."

An onlooker muttered, "Because of bribes to Cornelius Fudge."

Harry continued, "But then I commanded my stag-Patronus to swivel the Dementor about, so that the Dementor was in the path of the Killing Curse. The Killing Curse killed the Dementor, and the Dementor's body absorbed the Killing Curse. If I may say so, it was a great solution to the problem of two deadly menaces."

Sirius said drily, "Yeah, I'll have to remember that trick, next time."

Harry said, "Then I wandlessly summoned Lucy's wand from his right hand and, because I was angry at him, I summoned his left arm—the entire arm, complete with the Stupidity Stamp on his left forearm. In so doing, I ripped a big artery and a big vein both in two. Lucius bled to death, less than a minute later. By the way, Lord Nott also tried to kill me, using a slightly more civilised Diffindo. Nott also lost his wand and his left arm for his troubles, and he also bled to death."

Silence.

Harry continued, "I didn't know this at the time, and nobody in the courtroom informed me at the time, but I was already emancipated, because of being forced to participate in the Triwizard Tournament. So when Lord Malfoy and Lord Nott tried to kill me but I killed them instead, I became Lord Malfoy presumptive and Lord Nott presumptive, by Right of Conquest."

The crowd of listeners gasped.

Harry continued, "My becoming Lord Malfoy by Right of Conquest sets the stage for my big

announcement of the day, but why don't I stop now and take your questions?"

****

All of the foursome took questions.

Three minutes in, Hermione took a question about the "love triangle" of her, Harry, and Viktor Krum.

Before Hermione could answer, Harry laughed. "May I say something, as the supposedly 'wronged' boy here? First of all, Rita Skeeter lies like she breathes: many times a minute. Secondly, the Yule Ball was announced, and I was a clueless fourteen-year-old boy. It took me a while, because I'm slow, to work out that I wanted to go to the Yule Ball with Hermione. Alas, by the time I asked her, Viktor Krum had asked Hermione first."

Hermione looked surprised. "I was your first choice?" "And second, and third."

Hermione's response was to give Harry a long kiss on the lips. Then she smirked and asked, "Before I interrupted, you were saying?"

After a pause for Harry to reboot his brain, he said, "Viktor Krum was an honourable competitor to me in the Triwizard, and he was an honourable date to Hermione at the Yule Ball. I have nothing bad to say about Viktor Krum, and I am not in 'rivalry' with Viktor Krum. The entire 'love triangle' story was made up by Rita Skeeter."

Then Harry turned to face the rest of the foursome and said mischievously, "Now's the time, I think."

As the crowd looked on in puzzlement, Sirius looked at Hermione and—with a grin of evil anticipation—said, "Do it just like I taught you."

Hermione drew her wand. Her wand-tip drew a simplified capital 'A' whilst she incanted, "Locationus animagi." A bright-yellow line formed from the tip of her wand—and went up and backwards, ending in Hermione's hair.

Meaning, beetle-Rita was hiding in Hermione's bushy hair! Many things happened quickly then—

Hermione muttered, "How " Sirius reached into the left pocket of his robes, and pulled out a small glass jar and an unattached screw-on lid. The screw-on lid had holes punched in it. Remus took the screw-on lid off of Sirius's left Sirius moved the jar so that it was right in front of the tip of Hermione's wand, so that the yellow line of the Locationus animagi spell passed through the bottom of the glass jar and within the jar's neck. Hermione cast "Accio water-beetle " The bright-yellow line An insect ripped free from Hermione's hair, and moved swiftly in a straight line into the jar. The insect was flapping its wings, but to no avail.

As soon as the water beetle was in the jar that Sirius held, Remus screwed on the Hermione moved her wand to point at the water beetle that was captured in the "Stupefy," Hermione incanted.

Hermione raised her voice and announced to the crowd, "In this unbreakable jar, with the

unbreakable lid, is Rita Skeeter, unregistered water-beetle animagus."

Sirius let Bozo snap two photos of the beetle in the jar. Bozo, like Sirius, was smirking.

Sirius walked over to Madam Bones and, with a deep bow, presented the jar (and beetle) to her. Madam Bones gave Sirius a warm smile that many people believed the Director of the DMLE to be incapable of. Whilst still smiling, Madam Bones waved over an Auror, who took the jar and walked away with it.

Smiling Remus la-la-la'ed the nine-note theme to an American-television police programme from the 1950s and 1960s. In context, the scrap of song meant Someone got caught breaking the law.

****

Harry said, "Let's revise," review. "Lord Malfoy and Lord Nott tried to kill me; they didn't. Then I tried to kill them, and succeeded. That's when magically I became Lord Nott and Lord Malfoy, by Right of Conquest. Meanwhile, the Wizengamot session continued. I said a lot of things in Courtroom Ten, then gave a magical oath that they all were true. The Wizengamot members voted again, and acquitted me."

Some of the people in the crowd were starting to look bored. Harry would soon put a stop to

that.

"Soon after I left Courtroom Ten, Hermione, me, and two others went to Gringotts. That's when I learnt that I was emancipated, and the whole Right of Conquest thing was explained to me. Two days ago, I took the Head of House rings to become Lord Potter, Lord Nott—and Lord Malfoy. At Gringotts, I was told that as Lord Malfoy, some of the things I inherited were houseguests—namely the Dark Lord and thirty or forty Death Eaters, all of whom were living in Malfoy Manor."

Harry looked into the eyes of everyone listening to him speak. "As soon as I put on the Lord Malfoy ring, a mad idea, the most Gryffindor-est of Gryffindor ideas, popped into my head. We four whom you see up here, we did some planning, then at three o'clock the next morning

—yesterday morning—the four of us elf-popped to Malfoy Manor. I used my authority as Lord Malfoy to order the house-elves to put Narcissa Malfoy and Draco Malfoy, as well as the Muggle girl whom Lucius Malfoy had put in the Malfoy dungeon, all into stasis. Then I ordered the house-elves to elf-pop those three people out of the manor house, then I ordered the house-elves themselves out of the manor house. Once all this was done," Harry said casually, "we four Gryffindors killed everyone in the house."

Harry, without using his wand or a spoken incantation, waved his hand over the front of his grey t-shirt.

The blank space on the front of Harry's t-shirt, above "NO LONGER THE GOLDEN BOY OF GRYFFINDOR," now changed to reveal artwork. The artwork was a picture of a silver Death Eater mask, outlined in black—a Death Eater mask that had been altered.

From the eye-holes and the mouth-holes of the silver mask, rivers of red blood poured down. On the forehead of the mask, above the right eye, were four bleeding holes. By pure coincidence, the zigzag placement of the four holes described a lightning bolt.

Now the people in the crowd looked shocked.

Harry said, "I'll spare you the whats and the hows. We four ended up unhurt. Of the thirty- two Death Eaters in Malfoy Manor, I beheaded Severus Snape, one of the others up here beheaded Walden Macnair, and all four of us killed the remaining thirty Death Eaters, by a method I refuse to describe. One of the thirty Death Eaters whom yesterday we killed by mysterious means was Peter Pettigrew. Pettigrew, by the way, was given his silver hand by Voldemort, right after Voldemort was resurrected on 24th June."

Sirius said, grinning cruelly, "Prongslet, the people here all are wondering, 'What happened with the Dark Lord?' "

Harry replied, "Oh, him?"

Harry reached in his left-front jeans pocket and pulled out a tiny black-plastic bag, which had something in it. Harry then used his wand to enlarge the bag and its contents to life-size. Harry reached into the bag, grabbed an ear, and pulled out Voldemort's hairless head.

People screamed when they saw beheaded Voldemort.

Harry let Bozo take another photo. Then Harry put the Dark Lord's head back in the plastic bag, tied up the bag's drawstrings, and handed the black bag to Madam Bones.

Harry turned to face the reporters again. "When the four of us walked into Voldemort's bedroom, he was lying on his back, asleep. I walked up to him and nonmagically pushed a pillow onto his face, then used magic to keep the pillow there. I didn't kill Voldemort— meaning, he didn't suffocate—but I gave him a distraction he couldn't ignore, whilst I blinded him. Then one of the others you see up here, shot Voldemort twice through the heart with Lancia hexes, whilst another person beheaded the Dark Lord with a Diffindo spell. The remaining one of us, along with two Malfoy house-elves, stood just inside the doorway, ready to battle any Death Eaters who would rush in, but no Death Eaters attacked."

Silence.

Harry said, "Let me emphasise: When these other three up here did what they did, whether it was killing Death Eaters or killing Voldemort, they were following my orders as Lord Malfoy, against enemies of Lord Malfoy."

Madam Bones said, "Thus the homicides they committed yesterday morning, whilst shocking in number, all were justifiable homicides."

"Merlin," someone said lowly.

Harry asked mischievously, "Madam Bones, you say this even though the half-blood fraud Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a Voldemort, the half-blood Severus Snape, and thirty-one Purebloods were killed by a Muggle-born, a half-blood, a blood-traitor, and a werewolf?"

Madam Bones said, "I won't arrest you—and I'll suspend any Auror who tries it—but alas, you being a half-blood might mean that you're not awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class."

Hermione said, "That's despicable. If anyone deserves that medal, Harry does."

Harry laughed evilly, then said, "But Hermione, I don't deserve the 'Merlin First.' I didn't do this to 'save the Wizarding World.' I did this to avenge my murdered parents; to protect you, Hermione, and your Muggle parents; to protect my father's two friends who share the dais with me; to protect the three in the Tonks family; to protect Madam Bones and the two other Wizengamot members who voted for justice two days ago; and to protect four pureblooded Hogwarts friends of ours—none of whom is Ron Weasley."

Remus said, "I count only seventeen people whom you killed Voldemort for."

Harry nodded, then looked about at the reporters and other onlookers. Angrily he said, "But I did not do this for most of the rest of you who are listening and reading, who are wizard- raised. You're inbred, you're ignorant of the bigger world, you're lazy, you're timid, and you're gullible sheep who believe anything you're told. Only the Muggle-borns, as a group, deserved my protection from Voldemort. Anyway, I don't ask for that pretty pyrite circle with ribbon; and if anyone tries to award it to me, I'll skive off the ceremony—that's a promise."

Harry took time to calm down, then said, "These are all my prepared remarks. Now we'll take your questions."

Madam Bones said, "At this time, I wish to announce that when we searched Dolores Umbridge's office after her death, we found a written order that transferred two Dementors from Azkaban to her control, dated 2nd August—the same day Mr Potter and his cousin were attacked by Dementors. The order was cosigned by Cornelius Fudge. Had Minister Fudge and Miss Umbridge not been killed two days ago, they would be tried on Friday for the attempted murder of the last member of an Ancient and Noble House."

Someone in the crowd murmured, "I'm not surprised that the Toad did this."

****

A few minutes later

A reporter asked Harry, "How did You-Know-Who come back to life, after he was killed by his own Killing Curse in 1981?"

Harry replied, "He wasn't killed in 1981, because he used evil magics to make seven magical things that kept him from passing on. What I did was, I asked the goblins to track down and get rid of Voldemort's seven evil things, when I couldn't do this myself. One of the things, I

destroyed; one of the things, the four of us destroyed yesterday at Malfoy Manor; and the other five, the goblins destroyed. Voldemort definitely is dead now, he cannot and shall not come back. Write this down: We—the foursome up here, and the goblins—have vanquished the Dark Lord."

Harry then took two minutes to tell all the things about Tom Marvolo Riddle that he knew; in contrast to Dumbledore, who had kept everything secret. Of course Harry did fire-writing of Tom's name, then rearranged the letters to form the anagram.

****

A little later

A reporter asked Harry, "Whom do you favour as the next Minister for Magic?"

Harry answered, "Any of the three Wizengamot members who were saints at my trial: Director Bones, Lord Greengrass, or Regent Longbottom."

"Not Dumbledore? He also voted for your acquittal."

"But then he turned around and voted for me to get life in Azkaban. The saintly three thought I was innocent, but Dumbledore knew I was innocent, because he knew the players. Yet he wanted to send me to Azkaban for decades? Once again, he was playing some sort of demented chess game with my life."

"But he's the Leader of the Light. He defeated Grindelwald."

"Did he? His situation is suspiciously like mine: No witnesses, then afterwards we hear a tale of good v. evil and bravery. Do we even know Grindelwald is dead? Maybe he's alive, but transfigured into the headmaster's golden throne."

**** Then Harry looked about. "Who else has a question?"

But instead of a reporter speaking next, Hermione asked, "Harry, may I say something?" "Of course, Hermione."

Hermione murmured, "Gryffindors charge ahead." She took a slow, calming breath.

Hermione spoke loudly and clearly: "Harry has bent over backwards to not name who did what. But I want to state publicly that beheading Walden Macnair, this was me; and beheading Voldemort, this was me too. Reporters, don't ask for details."

A woman's voice came from the crowd: "Miss Dagworth-Granger, I pity you now, I truly do."

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