Chapter 103

Emma's POV 

 "Would you have me read the results with him present?" The doctor asked me. 

 "Yeah, he's my boyfriend." I said, smiling. I rubbed Chase's face, pulling his beards with one hand, and rubbing my belly with the other. 

 "You might want to sit up." He said. "We are happy you came in for a check up today." The kind old man said. I smiled. 

It was a big hospital downtown, fancy and very modern too. 

I felt more at peace with Chase by my side. 

 "Emma Watson," He wore the glasses which hung down from his neck and read my name out from a file in his hand, "I'm afraid, but we couldn't find a heartbeat." I knew nothing about stuff like those. 

I'd never been or lived with a pregnant woman. 

I remember the look on their faces while the nurse kept tapping my belly and scanning round, but I didn't think it was a big deal. 

 "What does that mean?" I heard Chase ask as my heart was already shattering, it could only mean one thing. 

My baby was dead. 

 "Your baby is dead." The doctor said bluntly. 

I was expecting some rash, hard reactions from Chase but there were none. Maybe it was good news for him, maybe not, but I really didn't care. 

I sat as my whole world crumbled around a baby I never met. 

 "That can't be possible." He said finally. 

 "I'm afraid it is." The doctor replied. "We're gonna have to discuss taking it out to avoid further complications. But I could give you both a minute." He put the file on the side table, and went out. 

I was still unmoved. Inside, I was a train wreck, my thoughts were flashing, my heart was breaking, every part of me was hurt and annoyed with myself. 

I should've started seeing a doctor sooner. But I didn't know what to make of it. 

I didn't even know if I wanted to keep it. 

 "Can we start now?" The doctor asked. 

 "Yes." Chase replied for us both. 

I hadn't taken my eyes off the patch of the wall where they rested when the doctor broke the ugly news. If I concentrated any longer, I'd see through it. 

 "There are three ways we go about it…" I heard the doctor brief Chase. But I was zoning out and back in. 

I didn't know the baby enough to miss it, but I felt like a shitty human for treating it the way I did. 

 "Emma?" The two voices called out. 

 "I'd like to push this off for as long as possible, but your health is at risk." The doctor said, taking my hand. 

 "Today's fine." I croaked. 

 "Settled." He said with a sad smile. "Do I run over the alternatives again, I'd love you to make a choice." He asked. 

 "I'd appreciate that." I managed to say it without bursting into tears. 

 "We can wait for a natural miscarriage, where your body finally recognises the loss and begins the process on its own. It might happen over the next few weeks and your body will start releasing the pregnancy on its own. Secondly, we could administer medications to help the body start releasing the pregnancy, you'll get pills to use either at home or in the hospital depending on what is most comfortable and safe for you. And lastly you can opt for a surgical procedure, we call it the D&C, dilation and curettage. It is a minor procedure where we gently open the cervix and remove the tissue from the womb. It will be done on the anesthesia to keep you comfortable so you won't feel the pain. Recovery is quick and you'll be able to go home the same day." He said. 

I held my head in my hand and my heart in my mouth. 

 "I'll have the surgery." I said. 

 "Are you sure you want to…?" Chase protested. 

 "How soon can you fix me up?" I asked the doctor, ignoring him. 

 "How soon do you want it?" he asked.

 "Now." I said, putting my purse on Chase's thigh without looking at him. 

 "That's quite soon." He said, checking what I thought to be a calendar on his phone. He checked his watch next and gave in. "I'll have a nurse come prepare you. I'll see you in thirty." He smiled and squeezed my hand. 

Soon, it was Chase and I, left to ourselves. 

 "Baby, are you sure you wanna do it right now?" He asked, holding me close. 

 "Yeah." I replied. 

My eyes were still dry. I was surprised. I'd never been so strong emotionally. 

 "Emma, are you sure? We could always come down here. I'd drive you whenever you're ready." He begged. 

 "Let's not pretend that you care about it and just take it out." I snapped at him. 

 "You don't mean that." He said, still holding me close. 

 "I do!" I yelled, and that's when the floodgates of tears poured down my eyes. "Chase, you were extremely terrified at the prospect of having a child with me. I saw it on your face." I screamed. 

 "This is not the place for that discussion." He said, still holding me while I fought him off. 

 "I can't say wherever I want wherever I want to!" I shouted. "Get off me." I cried uncontrollably. 

 "Emma, please." The teas in his eyes broke me more than I thought it would, and for a moment, I let him hold me. Cause I so fucking needed it. 

 "Chase, I'm tired." I cried on his shoulder. 

 "Baby, please let's come back for this tomorrow." He pleaded with me. 

 "I can't." I replied. "I don't wanna be here tomorrow." I explained. 

 "I understand." Chase said, finally giving up on convincing me otherwise. 

 "Please be strong, for you, for us." He begged, kissing my forehead. 

The nurse soon came and wheeled me off for the procedure. 

It was the most emotionally expensive day I'd spent. 

It was over in no time, and I was soon wheeled into the car, with Chase hovering over me. 

My brain was still quite foggy from the aesthetic, but I still knew the basis. 

I'd lost my baby, and I'd lost a part of myself. 

I wanted to dig my own nails into my body for never doing what I should've done since I knew about it, but it was of no use. 

My body bore no evidence of a new life, none at all.