Chapter 104

Chase's POV 

 "Baby," I called out to Emma as soon as we got back home, "I hate seeing you this way." 

My voice snapped her out of her thoughts, she breathed deep and came out of the car, leaving both her phone and purse behind. 

 "I'm really tired, Chase." She said, "I just want to rest." 

 "That's totally fine." I took all our stuff out of the car and ran after her. Let me help you." She looked and felt weak. 

 "Thank you." She said, as I helped her up the stairs. 

 "Can I get you something to eat?" I asked

 "I don't feel up to it right now." She replied. 

 "Can I just try?" I asked her. 

 "Don't bother." She snipped. 

 "Do you need something else?" I asked her. 

 "Just stay next to me." She said, It felt like an honor to be told such by her. 

 "Let me jump out of these clothes." I tore the clothes, a reminder of where we'd been and what'd happened. 

 "Pull me closer." She cried. 

I pulled Emma so close. Her body felt heavier, and was even warming up.

 "I'm sorry, Emma." I didn't know if it was the right time, but what I knew was that I needed to get it off my chest. "I know I haven't been the best I could of late and I really don't have any excuse for it but I want you to know that you mean the world to me and I love you. Nothing, literally nothing would ever make me love you less you are my world Emma and I always want you to remember that." I said. 

She just sobbed and sobbed. 

And I thought it was a good thing cause she was releasing the pent up tears. It would have been worse if she didn't cry at all. How expressionless her face was when the kind doctor broke the news to us earlier during the day made me so scared. I literally feel the chill run up my spine. 

 "I'm tired." She cried on my chest. "It's always one thing or the other." She added. 

I hated how she thought about it that way but it was a very wrong time to call her out and I knew that all she needed was help and reassurance for her to know that I really loved and cared for her, and I was determined to show her that

 "I promise you it wouldn't always be like this." I said instead. 

I heard her sniff a couple of times after which she got up to use the bathroom. 

She spent an uncomfortable amount of time in the bathroom. 

 "Are you okay?" I knocked and asked from outside. 

I checked the time and it's been exactly forty five minutes. 

Her mom had called several times too, and I didn't want to be the one to pick the phone up. 

 "A minute." Emaa croaked. 

I was starting to get lost. I didn't know what to do. 

I didn't know when to push or when to pause. When to insist, or when to let her be. 

I hadn't been in that kinda situation, ever, not even with Lily. 

 "I can come in though." I said, projecting my voice so she could hear me. 

 "Don't." That was usually the deal breaker for me.

I tried already. I decided to go down and grab a bottle, at least till she got out. 

The house had several other rooms, but I did not want us to be apart. I'd lived my whole life alone, I wanted, needed her by my side. 

I drank in glassfulls, cup after cup, bottle after bottle. 

College was in two weeks, I still hadn't made a choice between Harvard and MIT. 

I wanted to be with Emma, it's what we'd wanted for the longest time, but for some reason, I held back telling her about my application to MIT to be with her. 

Harvard was my dads choice, so she understood that. 

I didn't want a situation where we just forge ahead cause we were gonna be living together or something. 

I loved her, and I wanted only that to be the reason we were ever together. 

 "Can I have some?" I heard her voice from behind me. 

 "I don't know if I'm supposed to be giving you this to drink." I was really unsure, and pleading with her with my eyes, she'd just had an operation, no matter how small. "I can get you wine, maybe fruit wine?" I asked. 

She had a towel wrapped on her chest, revealing the upper part of her soft bouncy boobs. It was the wrong time, but my body's response to Emma's couldn't be controlled. She also had one wrapped on her hair. 

Emma looked like she was just straight out of the movies.

We were grieving, but she looked pretty as fuck. 

 "Alright." She said, took the bottle off the little bar table, and sat on the couch. "You're gonna have to take it from me." She dared me. 

I looked into her eyes, I was hoping to see the Emma I fell for. The Emma I so dearly loved. The Emma who was so freaking constantly on my mind. 

 "Emma please." I begged. "If staying here makes you feel sad, or caged we could go out to catch our breath a bit. Where do you fancy?" I begged her. 

I was half drunk myself, that didn't mean I wanted it for her. 

 "You're drunk, Chase." She said, "Who's gonna drive? Not me." 

With that, she took the largest gulp I'd ever seen. 

I snatched the bottle from her hand, but she held it with such a tight grip. 

It ended up slipping through both our hands and shattered against the cold tiles. 

 "Cute." Emma said, smiling maniacally. "It just made the same sound as my heart." She smiled sadly and went back up. 

I felt so many things. Both of us had just lost a baby, a baby I only knew I had when it was dead. I had every right to be pissed as hell too. 

 "Fuck!" I yelled, frustrated. I took a drunken step and a piece of the glass pierced my right foot. 

A louder yell came from upstairs where Emma was. 

With both my good and wounded foot, I found myself stomping up. 

 "What's going on?" I asked as I let myself in. 

I met Emma on the floor, with the towel she had so sexyly tied on her chest bloodstained. 

 "I didn't pray for this life, Chase." She cried on my shoulders. 

 "Emma, please, we've gotta be positive about this. Please." I was near tears myself. Somehow, the drink made it flow freely.