Chapter 110

Lily's POV 

Emma and I were gonna have premium fun, and I was gonna make sure of it. 

I didn't cancel my trip to Berlin to sulk and cry with Emma. 

 "Do we go on our spree first?" I asked her. 

Her face looked conflicted when she got into the car after she and Chase's little pep talk. 

I hated to see my girl like that. 

 "Yeah." She confirmed. Good to know we were still on track. 

I need some summer dresses and sunshades for Berlin myself, and maybe boots too. 

 "What's on your mind?" I asked her. 

She looked like she wasn't really with me, in the car. 

 "I'm scared." She said, 

 "Why?" I asked her. 

 "For a lot of reasons." She said, 

 "Start with the one on your mind now." I said. 

 "Everything." She said, She was rubbing her hands furiously. "Everything is wrong." 

 "That can't be true." I said. "You have a life many are only jealous of." I said. 

 "You're just trying to make me feel better. It would have worked when I was younger and dumber, but I'm smart now, Lily." Her voice broke with every word she said. "I'm supposed to be in control of my life, yet it's so fucking outta control." 

 "What does that even mean?" I asked. Emma always talked about how she and Chase were gonna go to college together, get a house together, and start their lives from there.

 "It means I'm tired, Lily." She screamed. Other motorists looked into our vehicle, cause there was a bit of a traffic jam. 

 "You can't be, Emma. You live a life to die for." I restated. 

 "You keep saying that, but I'm the one dying!" She yelled again. 

The tears were flowing freely, and I thought it was a good thing. 

 "You have to be honest with yourself." I said. "Things are really not as bad as you think they are." I said. 

 "You're not in my shoes, you don't know where it pinches." She said through her tears. 

 "While I agree with that, I've been in messier situations, Emma." I said, taking one hand off the wheel to tub her thigh. "It doesn't always work out when you do all the talking and thinking in your head. Say it loud. Talk it out." 

 "It's that easy for you to say cause you're in a happy relationship." She said, looking out. 

 "Emma, y'all just got back together. This is when it's supposed to be more romantic." I said. 

 "He's not making it." She sobbed. 

We arrived at the mall, but there's no way I was carrying her there looking so puffy eyed. 

I found a space to park somewhere between a pick up and a mustang. 

She kept staring so hard at the car, I wondered if she had an ex that drove one like that. "He talked about getting my own place, Lily. My mom said two schools reached out to him. He told me he applied to Harvard, whichever the other is, it's so obvious he's not interested in being with me for much longer." Her eyes were red and weak. It looked like the next round of tears was gonna be blood. 

 "I'm sure that has nothing to do with the house, Emma. A house is something you'll always own." I replied to her. 

 "But still." She insisted, "He doesn't talk about it, he's just so comfortable living in the moment…" 

 "Emma, there's no point to your worry. I really thought it was the baby all along." I said. 

 "I already said it's everything. If you're tired of me, you can really just say. I'd find…" She started again. Her face was contorting in pain, but Emma was so fucking strong headed. 

 "Shut up." I said, taking her hand. "You're not making sense. All you're gonna do is give yourself a fever, you're already burning up." I clasped her hands between mine, and they felt really warm. "No one is tired of you, sweetheart. You're too much of a darling to bore us out. I need you to know that I love you, and I'd never get tired of you. 

 "That's what everyone says." She sobbed. 

 "And they're right." I affirmed. "They're so fucking right. We all are." Then an idea came to mind. "Do you want a change of air? Berlin, let's say? I suggested. 

I saw Emma go through about twenty different expressions before she settled for a teary smile. 

 "Then I'm gonna have to contact my agent first, and we're gonna have to do a first class." I said. 

She wrapped her hands around me, tighter than I've seen a burrito wrapped. 

 "Sounds like it's gonna be fun." She said, cleaning the tears in her eyes. 

 "For sure." I affirmed. "You might even get to rethink your taste in men." I winked. 

 "That's just straight up naughty." She laughed. 

 "Don't you have to tell Chase though?" I asked. 

 "I don't know." She answered, looking deep in thought. 

 "I think it's better you do, maybe right away." I suggested. "That adds some more purpose to our shopping then." I beamed.

Emma grabbed her phone and set a text or two to Chase and her mom. 

I saw her shove the phone right onto the glove compartment after the texts were delivered, and she heaved a sigh of relief, then smiled at me. 

I felt like I was making her do something wrong. But she looked really content with it herself. 

 "Let's go shopping?" She asked, squirming.

 "Hell yeah, bitch." We high-fived, and soon were swaying our hips into a Chanel store. 

We were greeted by the most pretty set of bags I ever saw. 

 "Can we start here?" Emma blushed. 

 "Whenever baby. It's all for your domination." I mock curtsied. 

 "Thank you, Lily." We ran through a couple of bags and took out some really chic purses. 

The belt section too was quite enticing. 

Next were scarves, and we picked out a few. It was summer in Berlin. 

I sighted the most beautiful set of boots I ever saw, and Emma sighted the most beautiful man she ever saw, before Chase. 

 "Kevin?!" She exhaled, and quickly ducked behind me. 

I wasn't gonna pretend I didn't know what that was about. 

We slinked together to the back of some shelf, but it was too late. He was looking in our direction, and we, his.