Chapter 131

Emma's POV 

Time out with Kevin was something I needed. 

The week had gradually come to an end and I no longer had the excuse of school. 

Casey was out of town for some reason, and Kevin didn't reach out after that night. 

I began to wonder if I said or did something wrong 

He really did sound committed and accepted the fact that I wasn't ready to hop from one relationship straight into another. 

 "Let's do this." I whispered to myself as I poured a glass of wine. Alcohol was gonna be my first bad habit proudly sponsored by Chase, that is asides reading of course. 

I just didn't have the mental coherence to read a book at that point. 

I took a sip, and sat by my window. Everyone seemed so busy, so occupied, which was in stark contrast with me. 

I was a rich baby, made rich by my mom's marriage to some underground businessman

 "Hey mom." I decided to call her since I was alone with my thoughts anyway. And nothing good ever came from it. 

 "Hey baby." She replied. "How are you treating MIT?" She joked. 

 "It's the other way around, really." I replied to her. "I made a friend, a pretty redhead, apparently she knows Lily too." 

 "That's good." Her voice had some false happiness in it. I could tell it was superficial. It didn't sound like it came from a place of content. 

 "What's up, mom?" I asked. 

 "Lord knows I'm trying." She murmured. 

 "What's this about mom?" I asked again. 

I hated when she was cryptic, like now. 

 "What's up mom?" I asked again, impatiently. 

 "I think Mark's got issues." She started. "Issues he'd have to sort out without me." 

 "What's going on?!" I yelled. Maybe the drink got a hold of me, maybe I was tired watching from the sidelines, I really just wanted to be let in. 

 "Emma, he's dwelling a little too much on Chase's mom, I really do not think he's over her." My mom's voice was hoarse, and breaking. 

I felt bad for her. 

Mark was supposed to be her retirement plan, if that was the word and as far as I've known, she'd never really had peace with him. 

Their 'vacations' were always a little too long. Chase's explanation made perfect sense, but I was too scared to find more out. 

Mark was nice to my mom and I, and that was all that really mattered to me. 

 "They held a memorial service in her honor." My mom said, I get the fact that she might've been a little jealous, but really, it's what Chase needed, closure, so it made me happy a bit. "I thought that was the closure they both needed, Emma, I baked cake and cookies for the event."

 "Why didn't anyone tell me about it?" I asked. 

 "Chase wasn't sure you'd want to be there." She replied. I said nothing more. "He's been a little distant lately, Em. I feel more like a bug like a bother." She continued. 

I really felt for my mom, but I couldn't tell her what she didn't already know. It was the fastest way to send their marriage downhill. 

She never told me they weren't legal, so I wasn't gonna tell her the reason for it. 

 "I don't think he means to make you feel this way." I explained to my mom. I know I was saying the exact things I told Lily never to say to me when I was with Chase, but it was the honest truth from where I stood at least. 

 "I don't think you believe yourself, Em." She replied.

My mom could be really unreasonable when she wanted to be, and while I'm not gonna seem her as that, 

 "Mom, splitting is not always the best choice." I replied to her. 

 "This is surprisingly the reverse of what's supposed to be happening." She joked, sadly. 

 "Dad was a deadbeat, and he died anyway, we were okay without him, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's the best choice." I explained. 

 "Leave him out of this." She replied 

 "Is that defense I smell?" I asked. 

 "Whatever, Em." She replied. 

 "Mom, I love to see you happy, you're literally the only one I've got right now. I don't want to lose you to the consequences of rash choices. I need you to seriously consider if it's what's best for you." I said to her, 

 "Are you projecting?" My mom asked in a lower voice. 

 "Don't do that." I dismissed her. 

 "I've kinda gotta." She chuckled, "I'm your mom, Emma." She added. 

 "Yuck!" I took a sip of wine to drown the thoughts out. 

 "I know you still miss him." She said,à 

 "Never told you that." I replied to her. 

 "You don't have to." My mom replied. 

I breathed deep. 

I really did think about Chase a lot. Shamelessly, I even put his face over Kevin's body, but he was a bit more buff. 

 "Sometimes, I want to talk to him." I revealed. 

 "That's absolutely normal." She replied to me. 

 "I don't think so." I've texted him a million times and ended up deleting it. 

 "Emma, that's what being out of touch with your favorite person feels like." Mom said. 

 "Why does it hurt so much?" I asked her, in tears. 

 "That's what love does." She said and smiled. 

Mom and daughter, both broken-hearted. 

I was just eighty percent sure that she also had a glass in her hand when I heard the clank of the bottle against the cup. 

 "Take it easy." I begged her. 

 "Tell that to Mark." She shot back. "Is it so hard to want a happy marriage?" She asked, and my mom's beautiful voice was laden with sadness. 

 "I don't like you in this state." I said to her, 

 "I've not liked how you've been since last fall, Em, it's been one rabbit hole to another." She said truthfully. 

 "Sometimes, my life surprises me." I admitted. 

 "Sip up wine, Em." She said, "This is a world of men."