Changing

"Tell me, Severus, how often do you have these dreams?" Professor Roland Vector asked as he poured two cups of tea for Severus and himself.

Roland Vector was the Hogwarts professor for Muggle Studies, having spent most of his life traveling and living among the Muggles. But it wasn't the fact that he knew so much about Muggles that attracted Severus to him, but rather his rumored talent for the mental studying of the human mind at one point in his life.

"Every night, sir," he replied, sitting straight in the chair he was in.

Roland turned to him with the two glass cups and handed one to him, which he accepted with a nod.

"And when did these dreams start?" stirring the tea with a spoon of honey as he sat down at his desk.

Severus swallowed as he held the cup in his hands, staring into it.

It had been a full week since what happened with Lily, and everyday was torture for him. He would barely walk through the hallways of Hogwarts to class, oblivious to the students passing him. Never in his life had he left so alone as he did now. No one had even noticed his behavior, with the exception of a few Slytherins. But it was never out of concern, just curiosity. A part of Severus wanted to be mad at them for thinking his pain was nothing, but he couldn't find it within himself to be mad. In fact, he barely did anything or felt anything, aside from the feeling of 'loneliness'. He would stare off into distance, his expression blank and his eyes red with tiredness.

Even his dreams offered no escape or safe haven from the pain within himself. The dreams were all the same just like the first night. The arguing of the man and woman, the little boy with the crocodile animal pillow, and the burning house with the dark hooded figures. Every night it was the same, and he was getting very little sleep because of it.

It was on the sixth day that Severus had decided to go see someone about it. He originally had thought about going to the Head of his House but decided against it for Professor Vector instead.

"A full week ago," Severus answered.

Nodding, Vector sat his cup on the desk and continued to study him.

"Very odd that you would have the same dreams over and over. I've heard of similar cases, but they at least either went away on their own or began to alter over time. Are you absolutely sure that nothing was different after the first night?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Tell me the dream again, and this time keep your attention fully on me when you tell it. I need to study your reactions."

Severus looked up and met his eyes, breathing in as he began.

"It always begins in this bedroom of some Muggle home. The first thing that happens is that I'm looking around and come across the same picture, the one with the two men, two women and also two children. I always look towards it for some reason... like as if I long for something. I feel like I recognize the people in it, but yet I don't. Then I hear a loud argument coming from outside the room and I go to investigate. I'm on the top floor and standing at the edge of the steps that lead downstairs. I can hear the man and woman from the photo arguing about something important."

"How do you know it's the man and woman from the photo?" Vector asked.

Severus tried to answer but shut his mouth at the last second, not entirely sure how he knew exactly.

"I... don't know..."

"They could have been friends of the people from the photo, or maybe even family related."

"No, I don't think so."

"But how do you know?" Vector pressed.

Severus could feel his tolerance running thin. He hated being questioned like he knew nothing. He wanted to shout at Roland to shut up, but the moment he thought that he immediately was reminded of Lily Evans and the last time he let his mouth run free. His anger quickly disappeared as he struggled to push the memory aside and continue.

"I'm not sure. It's like I just know."

Vector nodded and motioned him to continue.

"I stand there at the steps and listen to the conversation between them. The woman addresses the man as William, demanding that he hand over something to some people. But the man disagrees with her and says that even if he did, these people will still kill them. He says that he needs to leave and..." he stopped.

"Go on."

Severus swallowed, "He says he can send her and others away to a safe place. A place called Salem. But it sounded like he didn't plan to stay as well."

Vector raised his eyebrow curiously.

"And why would he leave the people he cares for?"

Becoming nervous, he took a drink of the tea and calmed himself.

"He said he needs to find these other people of his. If I hazard a guess, I think it was to get them to confront whoever these people are."

Vector narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, becoming more interested.

"Not to frustrate you, Severus, but you are certain that the details of the conversation happened in the first dream, correct?"

"Yes, Professor."

"I apologize, Severus. I don't mean to frustrate you. It's only the process of understanding and confirming the details. This is, after all, the second time you're going into depth of the dream. But I am curious, what is it that this man has that is so valuable that these people would want to put him in such a situation to send his family away? And why not contact authorities?"

"I'm not sure. But the woman, Michelle, was scared about the safety of herself. They also mention others being involved as well."

"So, the woman's name is Michelle. Did the man address her by that name?"

"Yes."

Vector began rubbing his chin.

"And now we get to the boy you saw within your dreams. What did he look like?"

The image of the boy appeared in his head, almost like a fresh memory that wouldn't fade.

"He had black hair, looked to be between ages five to six years old and was wearing some Muggle pajamas. But the most noticeable thing was that he held onto a crocodile-shaped stuffed pillow."

"You said that the boy said something to you. What was it?"

Now Severus was at the point of the dream that he feared the most. Not of the boy, but rather the images that always flashed before him. Even fully awaken he got goose bumps just thinking about him.

"I asked him if he knew what the man and woman were talking about, and he replied to me, 'It's a secret. Mommy and daddy told me not to tell anyone.' "

"So, the young boy saw and communicated with you." His eyes showed a hint of surprise. "How interesting! What else happened after that?"

Severus swallowed and drank the last of the tea from his cup, preparing himself.

"I saw images flashing before me. I saw the very same house on fire, dark hooded figures surrounding the man, and flames consumed everything. I saw a woman's body turn to dust by some knife. I also saw the same boy being picked up by someone. I couldn't get a good look at who it was, but the scariest thing about this part of the dream is that I also different voices saying different words that don't relate to each other. All that happens just before I wake up."

For a few moments Vector stared at him and began thinking to himself, taking in everything he had just heard.

The silence was almost driving Severus crazy. He wanted answers, but also didn't have the right questions to ask either.

"Sir, what do these dreams mean?"

Drinking the rest of his tea, Vector gave him an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry, lad, but I don't have the answer to that question. Dreams are a very interesting thing. They aren't always clear and can often times be part of our imagination."

"But why am I having them? It feels random that it would suddenly come out of nowhere. Something had to have triggered it."

"Well, I have a few theories as to why you are having this dream. One is that you are experiencing a childhood memory but seeing as that your mother's named isn't Michelle and the man doesn't sound like your father, it lowers the chances of that. The second is that it could very well be of something your mind made up. But that doesn't explain why you keep having this dream repeatedly. The brain shouldn't be obsessive over something like that... unless..."

He paused and the expression on his face lit up at a realization.

Severus couldn't take the silence for a second longer, but he managed to keep himself calm for Vector's sake.

"Unless what, Professor?"

Vector began rubbing his chin again, "The only other explanation is that you're recovering not one memory but also pieces to others as well, all through pain. Not physical pain, but emotional pain that's powerful enough to break through the barriers. The voices you hear that don't relate to the dream maybe the mind overwhelming itself with different pieces to the puzzle. It just so happens to be that the one memory you are recovering the most of is one of that night in particular."

Severus sighed to himself, not satisfied with the answer he was given.

Vector quickly saw the disappointment in his eyes and couldn't help but feel pity for him.

"I'm sorry, Severus, I do wish I had an actual answer to what you're looking for, but all I can offer is advise. If you truly want to know what these dreams mean, then you're going to have to start seeking the answers yourself, because only you can do it. I just hope you find closure when you do."

Severus nodded and stood up, placing the teacup on the desk.

"Thank you, Professor."

As he walked to the door, he could feel Vector's eyes on him. Just as his hand was on the knob, he heard him getting up from his chair.

"There's... something different about you," he stated with a hint of suspicion and also admiration in his voice. "I remember a boy who was always angry, always aggressive to anyone who, or anything that, annoys him. While you may not be exactly like your other housemates, I can tell that you are very impatient. But this past week, and also just this meeting alone, you haven't seemed annoyed by my lectures."

Severus turned his head to the side, but he didn't look directly at Vector. He began to think about what he had just said and quickly darted out the door as he felt something inside his heart. Something he hadn't felt before.

He was nearly running as he made way to the Common Room of his House. His mind was going back and forth on what happened in the office with Professor Vector. Why was he being so... civil? And why did he feel relieved from being so?

"Leave us alone!"

Severus stopped in his tracks and turned to see where the noise was coming from.

Just down the hallway on his left he saw two girls being surrounded by a couple of Slytherins. He couldn't tell who it was they were picking on but a part of him was screaming to just walk away and not to get involved. And he almost did exactly that... until what happened next sent him into a fit of rage.

One of the Slytherins pushed one of the girls and she fell onto the floor, her bag slipping out of her hands and school books piling onto the floor.

The sight made Severus remember a certain incident involving James Potter and his Marauders during third year. They had pulled a prank where he had gotten tangled in some string that he didn't see while walking and had to untangle himself while they laughed at him. The string had also cut into his robes and a little bit into his flesh, forcing him to go to the Hospital Wing, right after picking up his fallen books.

The very sight before him brought back the anger of that memory and he found himself running towards them, his face red and his hands made into fists.

"Ah, the poor little mudblood-lover lost her balance and made a mess with her books," mocked the Slytherin who pushed her. "It must be hard living with mudbloods within Gryffindor, doesn't it Alice? You're a traitor to the pure-blood society."

"Leave her alone, Jax!" screamed the other girl as she knelt down beside her friend, using the side of her shoulder to protect them from what was coming next.

"Don't tell me what to do!" exclaimed Jax. "You're nothing compared to us! We are the Dark Lord's se-OOPH!"

He didn't see the figure coming towards him as he was suddenly tackled from the side and sent crashing onto the hard floor. Before he could understand what was going on, he felt two fists hitting him on every corner of his body. He tried putting up his arms to protect himself, but it was no good.

Severus never felt so much anger in his entire life. He unleashed all of it unto the one known as Jax Cronch below him. The two barely knew each other, despite being in the same house, but it didn't matter to him at the moment. He wanted to make him pay, to see him hurt.

The other four Slytherins were so shocked by what they were seeing that it took a couple of moments to finally get themselves together and do something. It took all of them to pull Severus off of Jax, but even then, it was a struggle to keep him from going right back at it. He nearly screamed as he turned his attention to the other four Slytherins and started delivering punches to them, forcing them to let go of him as the sound of each hit reflected off the walls. He sent them running, and he nearly went after them until he heard Jax moaning from the pain, getting his attention.

Turning back to the beaten Slytherin on the ground, he slowly began to walk up to him.

Jax's eyes widened with fear as he saw how red Severus's face was, especially the anger deep within his eyes. He tried crawling away, ignoring the pain he was feeling.

"No, please, wait!" he begged. "My parents will hear of this! I swear you will be puni-"

He didn't even finish his sentence as Severus delivered another punch to his face, nearly knocking him out. As he grabbed him by the collar of his Hogwarts uniform, he prepared to punch him again, until he saw the blood on his knuckles and realized he had broken Jax's nose. Getting his anger under control, he brought Jax's face right up to his and he stared deep into his eyes.

Jax eyes were filled with fear as he tried to look away, whimpering in pain.

"If I ever see you do anything like that again, I swear that a broken nose will be the least of your problems!" he whispered in a serious tone. "Do you understand?!"

Jax quickly nodded and Severus let go of him, allowing his head to bounced off the floor. Backing away, he watched as Jax picked himself off the floor, holding his broken nose, and made a run for it down the hallway.

A few moments passed as Severus calmed himself down and released his hands, allowing them to stretch. Turning back to the two girls, he saw that they were looking at him with big eyes. He could see fear, confusion and a little bit of suspicion aimed right towards him.

Wiping the blood off his hand, he walked forward, picking up the books off the ground and put them inside the bag again. He then offered his hand to the two girls on the ground, who were still looking at him with shock.

Finally snapping out of it, the one known as Alice took his hand and helped her to her feet. The other refused and got up herself, still keeping him within her sights.

"Thank- thank you," Alice broke the silence. "For... helping us."

Severus looked at her with surprise and felt the same thing he felt earlier in Vector's office. He didn't know how to truly feel at that moment and was suddenly looking for a way out.

"Um, yeah, no problem," he looked away and then placed her bag into her hands. "Here's your school stuff. Sorry about what happened..."

Without any warning, he began running away from them. He ran through the castle until he came to the entrance of the Common Room of the his house and said the password, letting him in. He ignored all the questionable faces everyone was giving him as he rushed to his dormitory, slamming the door shut. He kicked off his shoes and jumped into bed, burying his face into the pillow.

His mind was in a riot at the moment.

What the hell did I just do?!

/

Both Alice Fortescue and Rachel Jayden stared in awe as they watched Severus Snape himself run down the hall. Even after he disappeared from sight they kept their eyes glued to the spot they last saw him, unable to process what had just happened. One minute they were having a good day watching the Quidditich boys practice, and admiring the view. Then the next, they found themselves at the mercy of Jax Cronch and his gang of Slytherins.

But what happened next was beyond belief and beyond real to them. They had witnessed Severus Snape tackle one of his fellow house members, continue to beat him and the other four, and then threatened to do worse if they ever did what they had just done again. But the biggest surprise of all was that Severus had picked up Alice's books and offered to help them off the floor, like a gentleman.

While Alice was quick to take his hand and thank him, Rachel was still suspicious of the boy who was standing before them. She knew who Severus was, and everything he had done was completely against his character. He was a pure-blood prat. A Slytherin, none-the-less! He never helped anyone, especially when it came to one of his own. But yet, here he was, defending them against others of his own house.

"Oookkaayy," Alice turned to her best friend. "That just happened."

"Yeah," Rachel responded. "We should get back to the Common Room before that asshole Jax comes back with a teacher this time."

Nodding in agreement, they both made their way to Gryffindor Tower.

"Should we tell the others?" Rachel asked, breaking the silence.

"Of course we should!" Alice squealed with excitement. "I cannot wait to see the looks on their faces when we tell them. Oh, and what about Lily? How do you think she'll react when she finds out?"

Rachel's stomach dropped as she remembered Lily. Everyone knew about what had happened between her and Snape last week. He had called her the most horrible word ever created in existence and had gone to apologize to her later on after. While no one heard the exact words exchanged between the two of them, they all knew that Lily had ended her friendship with him. Many praised her decision, especially a very famous Quidditich Seeker.

She overheard Mary McDonald telling others that Lily had been crying the whole night, including the whole week.

"Do we have to tell? I mean, Lily has been through enough as it is, and I don't want to rub more salt into fresh wounds while she is still healing."

"Oh, come on! I understand that Lily had a falling out with Snape and that she doesn't want to talk about him, but that doesn't mean we can't tell anyone else besides her. We can make sure that the others keep quiet about the subject around her. And besides, this is very much different than anything she's ever heard before. Severus Snape helped us! How on Earth can that be a burden to Lily?"

Rachel sighed, a little annoyed with the girl's naive belief that they could keep this quiet. She touched the side of Alice's shoulder to bring them to a stop.

"Well, here's an idea that we never gave any thought to. What if Snape only did what he did to manipulate us into getting Lily to think he is changing?"

Alice's mouth dropped in shock.

"Rachel! How can you say such a thing?! You didn't see what I saw in his eyes. He looked scared and confused, not a bloody evil mastermind."

"But he's a Slytherin!" Rachel fought back. "Don't you find it weird that he would suddenly be helping the likes of us just a week after what happened with Lily? I'm telling you, he's up to something."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"Oh, Rachel, can you for once put aside your grudge and accept that people can change?"

"And can you put aside your naïve mind to accept that some people can't change?"

They stared at each other before continuing their walk back to Gryffindor in silence, both taking the other's words to heart as they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady. Once they entered the Common Room, Alice ran to the nearest group of girls she could find, almost skipping across the room.

Rachel rolled her eyes and smiled, joining in as Alice began their story.