An Existential Crisis Girl

When Asher let her up that night, he had made her stand in front of him while he sat in his desk chair and answered his questions. His gaze had been so direct that cum had rubbed against her thighs all over again and his voice was ever cool, demanding she answered.

He asked her things like if she was a student, which she was. He asked her if she was off for the summer, and the answer to that was 'yes' as well.

He asked if there was anything at all that was a pressing schedule that might get in the way of the timing for the punishments she had agreed to.

To which she had blushed and softly said, "I'm free to do as I wish for the next couple of months. There's no one and nothing that has any demands on me."

And his eyes had flashed with something for just a second, the smallest second that would always stand out in her mind as the one intense lapse that made her shiver to see. Somehow, it was even more terrifying than his iciness.

"You will come here tomorrow afternoon at one then and every day after that until your time is up."

God, could she be any more humiliatingly wet from his treatment? It had seemed a surreal affair when he walked her back out into Sulfur's. He watched her dress with his gaze ever attentive and fixed her birthday sash with a wry smile.

"Happy birthday."

"It's one of them anyway." She'd answered.

Asher lifted an eyebrow. "Oh?"

She shrugged. "The other birthday was actually a month ago, but I've forgotten which one is the real birthday now. When I first got my license, they messed the date up at the DMV."

Why the fuck was she telling him this? Why wouldn't her mouth shut the fuck up?

"And I didn't want to go through the effort of changing it, so I changed my birthday with doctors' offices and stuff and I can't remember what places have which birthday now, but I celebrate the later one to be safe."

Motherfucking Ecstasy and Adderall.

Asher pet Jezebel's hair. "I see, Holly Golightly."

She blushed. "Leon the Professional."

Asher's laugh made her smile though, a happy smile.

Freaking Ecstasy. She needed to shut up and get away from him and go someplace to let it wear off. But then those thoughts scattered when he circled her in the dressing room, and her clothes didn't do a thing to make her feel safer.

"You have no idea. I could interrogate you right now, and you would tell me anything at all, wouldn't you?"

Jezebel shivered at the feel of his arm circling her waist, at the way the other hand snaked up until his hand curled around her throat.

"P-please don't do that. Please tell me to go home and sleep and come back tomorrow."

Asher's laugh was soft, threatening, and he held her tighter, watching her turn more afraid. "Perhaps you should think before you come to me drugged and so open to suggestion. Offering yourself like that to someone like me is a dangerous thing. I'll take you up on it and you won't like it when I do."

She moaned with shivery pleasure when his hand stroked down to cup one of her tits. He weighed it in his palm, as if testing the feel of it in his hands, and his eyes glittered with that cool look that sent chills down her spine.

He released her with a laugh. "Go home. I have more offers for you but I need you sane when I give them. Tomorrow at one. I would suggest you not keep me waiting unless you're just feeling extra flirtatious."

When he winked, it made her go weak in the knees, and she was still shivering with dark desire when he released her outside his door, letting her go.

The next day. God. She hated it because she was definitely going to go back to him. That thrill of danger down her spine was like a lock on her heart and intentions.

She had to go back for more adrenaline. Her drug problem had never really been a drug problem. It had always been a hedonistic indulgence problem, a fact she was reminded of when he released her.

Because she wanted to go back more than she'd ever wanted any drug. It was scary how badly she wanted for more of his power and collected calmness. Maybe if she spent more time under that discipline, some of it would rub off on her.

She walked through the streets the long way home that night, thinking about him and how he had looked.

Asher was more than anyone she'd ever met, far more of a dominant. She felt strange outside of his office. His office was where he ruled, and she still felt like she was under his spell. It seemed wrong to feel that kind of magic and be outside.

Eventually, she made it back to her college apartment. She didn't know whose name it was registered under, but it wasn't hers. She stopped by once a month to pay while she took way too many classes because she was torn between majors.

Right now, her roommate was gone for the summer, and the place was all to herself. She had been so excited for that fact a week ago. It meant that she could leave her puzzle cubes spread throughout the apartment, where she could randomly pick them up and tinker with one as she willed, and no one would stop her.

But now she felt lonely. It was quiet, and the noise of the city outside the window only served to remind her of how quiet it was inside.

She stared around her at the clutter of her apartment and felt a little lost. Asher's office had been so neat, too, everything in an obvious place.

You see, her apartment wasn't messy or gross or anything, but she had different books laid out on different tables, depending on what her mood would be and what she felt like reading.

Cryptonomicon lay on the coffee table, God Created the Integers was in the kitchen, Descartes' Discourse on Method was in her bedroom, and Lovecraft's works were by the bathtub.

In the end, she picked up Cryptonomicon and read herself to sleepiness, thinking of her "date" the next day like any junkie would, even while her body was so afraid of him.

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*Author's note*

let's show some love over here. Drop reviews and powerstones.

come on guys, motivate me!!!

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