A 'Normal' Vampire

Game

Thoughts

"Talking"

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"Help me, Naruto-chan! You're my only hope!" 

"Have you been watching Star Wars?" Naruto asked, staring at the red-haired voluptuous woman who was his wife.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Rias answered, tilting her head cutely at him.

"Just a hunch."

"A-Anyway! You're the only one who can help me, Naruto-chan!" Rias asked again, leaning forward and staring intensely at Naruto.

"With what?" He asked half-heartedly, looking back at the anime playing on the TV in front of him. Rias tended to be overly dramatic about small things, so he wasn't all that concerned about her plea.

"It's about one of my peerage members," Rias explained, "They need therapy!"

"Is it Kiba again?" Naruto asked blandly, "I don't blame him for needing more. The last session was a bit… chaotic. You should probably just get him an actual therapist."

"No! Not Kiba this time!" Rias shook her head rapidly, her beautiful crimson hair bouncing around as she did, "It's someone else!"

"Well, whoever it is, you should get them an actual therapist," Naruto deadpanned, "I think my session with Kiba did more harm than good."

"What?" Rias asked, tilting her head at him questioningly, "What do you mean? It went great! He hasn't tried going after Irina or Xenovia again since then!"

"Because he's too afraid to," Naruto deadpanned bluntly, "He's afraid I'll do something if he tries again. I think I went a bit too far. I hope he isn't too traumatized."

Naruto had been fed up during his and Kiba's 'therapy' session when the fight between Kiba, Rias, Akeno, and the two exorcist women had almost broken out despite his attempts to stop it. His annoyance had made him forget just how powerful he really was compared to the barely adult members of Rias's peerage. After his display of power, Kiba wouldn't even meet his eyes anymore.

Luckily, his display of power had the opposite effect on the other members of the therapy session. Or, unluckily in Naruto's mind.

The two exorcists already high opinion of him as the 'Youkai God' had risen even higher, and Irina pretty much always had stars in her eyes around him.

Meanwhile, Akeno teasing had gotten even worse. Naruto didn't want to think about the constant lust-filled eyes the girl looked at him with lately, or the constant thigh rubbing she did when he entered a room.

Rias was the worst, as the very promiscuous girl, who enjoyed walking around naked and watching very… interesting anime shows, had been pushing for Naruto to be more 'Youkai God-like' (in his words, as hers were much more vulgar) in the bedroom.

"You're the only one who can help," Rias said again, looking up at him with big pleading eyes, "Please?"

Ah, I can never say no to her.

"Fine, fine," Naruto nodded, and Rias gave a silent cheer in response, "Who needs help this time? Is it Akeno?"

"Nope! It's my bishop!" Rias nodded.

"Asia?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow. The church-loving bishop of Rias's peerage seemed rather well put together. It was surprising that she had some deep-seated issues that she needed help with.

It's always the cute ones that are hiding something.

"Nope, my other bishop," Rias explained.

"You have another bishop?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, "How did I not know about this?"

Naruto hadn't made an effort to become more in-depth knowledgeable about Rias's peerage, but that was more so because he had assumed he already knew pretty much everything about them. He had learned about Kiba's past, Asia seemed rather straightforward, and Akeno was a mystery that he didn't want to unravel.

The Queen's teasing was relentless, and he couldn't imagine how much of it he would have to endure to truly get to know the woman better.

"He's locked in the club basement," Rias started, pausing momentarily as she tried to think of how to explain the situation to Naruto. As she paused, Naruto spoke instead.

"He's locked in the basement?" Naruto asked incredulously, "Like, he was in there late at night, and the janitor locked him in or something?"

"N-No," Rias shook her head quickly, "He agreed to be locked in there."

"Oh, and you lost the key? I could just bust down the door for you if you want," Naruto nodded before Rias could continue to explain.

"Ah, no, you can't just bust it down," Rias started again, but Naruto waved her off.

"Of course I can! Are you worried about having to get a new one or somethin'?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, "Don't worry, I can ask Yasaka to fix it. She's good with stuff like that."

"N-Not because of that," Rias clarified, "The door isn't locked or anything. He's locked in by a magic seal."

"Oh, and you need me to break it?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow, "I'm not good with magic stuff, but I could probably do something about it."

"No, you don't need to break it," Rias shook her head again, "I know how to break the seal."

"You do? Then let the poor guy out!" Naruto nodded sagely, "How long has he been stuck down there anyway? Who trapped him? Did some evil magician break into your territory and lock him in there?"

"A couple of years now," Rias started again, puffing her chest out as she spoke, "No one trapped him. I wouldn't just let some random mage mess with my peerage in my territory!"

"Then why's he down there?" Naruto asked blankly again.

"I put him in there, and then my brother helped make the seal to lock him in," Rias explained.

"Oh, you put him in there?" Naruto asked, "Is he one of your brother's old enemies from the war? And you locked him in there to try and change his heart and make him a part of your peerage?"

"N-"

"I understand how you feel, Rias," Naruto nodded sagely, placing a hand on her shoulder, "Just know that I'll be with you every step of the way. We'll free him, and then I'll free his heart!"

"T-That's not wh-"

Naruto's excitement over the idea of getting to utilize his talk-no-justsu again was sparked, and he grabbed Rias's shoulders to lock eyes with her.

"I know better than anyone how easily an enemy can become a friend," Naruto said wisely, staring into her eyes intensely, "Some of your closest friends can start off as your greatest enemies. We can change his heart together, Rias!"

"A-Ah, T-Thanks, but, um…" Rias trailed off, glancing away and not meeting his eyes, "He's, uh, not an old enemy or anything like that. He's a kid. A middle schooler, actually."

Naruto's excitement dwindled instantly.

"A… kid?" Naruto asked blankly, "A kid in middle school?"

"A-Almost high school!" Rias clarified defensively, blushing as she suddenly felt less confident, "But, um, yes. A middle school kid."

"You… locked a middle school kid in your basement?" Naruto deadpanned, "With a magic seal and everything?"

"W-When you say it like that, it sounds bad!"

"That's because it is bad," Naruto deadpanned again, "Where'd you even find this kid, and why'd you lock him in the basement?"

"My brother recruited him to join my peerage," Rias started to explain, and everything suddenly made sense.

Naruto could still remember the 'game' he had played with Sirzechs - as in, when Sirzechs had gone and destroyed an entire family's home to convince a prodigy kid to join Rias's peerage.

Suddenly, Rias locking a little kid in the basement makes more sense. I think Sirzechs is the one who really needs therapy.

"He has a sacred gear," Rias continued to explain, "The 'Forbidden Balor View.' It lets him temporarily stop time, but he can't control it well. He's also easily… frightened, so he activates it a lot on accident. We locked him down there for his own safety and ours."

"Even if he has a dangerous sacred gear, you can't just lock a little kid in your basement," Naruto deadpanned.

"I-I let him out at night!" Rias puffed out her cheeks defensively.

"Even worse. You locked a little kid in your basement, and then only let him out in the middle of the night when nothing but creeps and psycho's are out," Naruto deadpanned again, 

"H-He's a dhampir! He likes the night!"

"The hell is a dhampir?" Naruto asked blankly.

"It's like a vampire," Rias gave the short explanation, and Naruto nodded sagely.

She knows me too well. It's definitely more complicated than that, but I hate long explanations.

"Well, I guess that's fine then," Naruto nodded, then waved his hand dismissively, "Come on. Bring me to him, and I'll see if I can do anything."

Rias nodded, quickly leading him out of the room. As he followed her, Naruto glanced down, his eyes lingering on her large, bouncing, jiggly ass. He quickly tore his eyes back up, shaking away the thoughts.

This is why Kuroka thinks I'm a pervert. It's her faul- actually, it's all of their faults.

It was hard to not be at least a little bit perverted when his home was constantly filled with naked women. Not just regular naked women either - they were some of the sexiest naked women in the entire world.

"He's in here," Rias stated, walking up to a door on the first floor of the Occult Research Club's clubhouse. There was a large red magic seal covering the door, looking incredibly complicated as various lines crossed along the door. She placed her palm on the door, and a moment later the seal broke in a large flash of red light.

"Gasper-chan!" Rias shouted in a friendly tone as she pushed the door open, revealing the pitch-black room, "Are you awake?"

Naruto watched as she stared into the room, a large smile on her face, only to receive no response.

"Gasper-chan!" Rias shouted again in a friendly tone, her eye twitching slightly as no one answered, "Are you awake?"

Once again, there was no response.

"Rias," Naruto said softly, placing a hand on Rias's shoulder, "Is this bishop of yours a real person?"

"Y-Yes!" Rias blushed, turning back to the pitch-black room again, "G-Gasper-chan! Are you in here?"

"How would he not be in here when you put a seal on the door?" Naruto deadpanned, patting her shoulder again, "It's ok, Rias. I used to have an imaginary friend when I was little too. An imaginary bishop isn't that weird."

"H-He's not imaginary!" Rias pouted, stepping forward into the dark room, "He's real! Gasper-chan! Can you come out?"

"I can pretend too if you want, Rias," Naruto nodded comfortingly, stepping past her into a dark room. He held up his hand into the dark room as if he was about to shake someones hand, "Hey, Gasper! Nice to meet ya!"

"H-He's not fake!" Rias pouted again, "He's just shy! Gasper, can yo-"

Abruptly, Rias stopped speaking. Naruto blinked, looking over his shoulder as Rias cut herself off. Behind him, Rias was stock-still, her mouth still partially open as if she was about to finish her sentence.

"Rias?" Naruto asked, raising an eyebrow at her, "You gonna finish that sentence?"

Rias didn't respond, not moving as she didn't budge even an inch. 

"Rias?" Naruto asked again, raising his hand and waving it in front of her face. She didn't even flinch, her eyes just staring into the dark room blankly.

Didn't she say her bishop could stop time?

"Maybe he is real," Naruto hummed, looking over at his frozen wife, "I can see why she locked him up now. In the wrong hands, this could be dangerous."

Naruto's eyes glanced down slightly, taking in Rias's breasts as they were mid-flopping from her sudden shouting movement, which had been stopped abruptly.

"Or in the hands of a pervert," He nodded sagely, turning around and walking into the dark room. His eyes quickly became adjusted, and he took in the room. 

It was a rather normal and empty room. There was a small carpet in the middle, a computer and TV on the front wall, and a collection of various cardboard boxes lying on the floor around the room. Most of them looked to be full, but a couple were obviously completely empty.

"Yo, Gasper?" Naruto called out casually, walking into the room, "Anyone named Gasper in here? You kinda froze my wife. It'd be cool if you could not do that."

Naruto glanced around as no one answered, quickly spotting a small movement. A box in the corner abruptly justled, and Naruto noticed two eyes peeking out. 

A split second later, Gasper's vision was blocked as he was staring into two blue pupils.

"Yo."

"AH!" Gasper shouted, grabbing the cover on the box and quickly closing it again as he hid inside the cardboard box.

"-u come out?" Rias finished behind him, before blinking as Naruto was suddenly no longer in front of her. She spotted him quickly, walking towards him, "Oh, did you find him?"

"Think so," Naruto said casually, reaching down and placing his hands on either side of the box. He casually lifted it up, eliciting another squeak from the person hiding inside of it, "You said he was a vampire, but is he actually a little animal or somethin'?"

Rias blinked, looking at the box, "No, no. He's a Damphir."

"Eh?" Naruto asked, reaching up and pulling open the cardboard box again. As he did, two fear-ridden eyes greeted him. Inside the cardboard box, which seemed far too small to fit a child, was what looked to be a very small human child.

"Yo." Naruto gave the kid a peace sign, then quickly grabbed the opening to the box again as the small child tried to close the box again, "Can you stop that?"

"Go awayyyyyyyyyyyyy!" The child in the box whined, his hands reaching up and trying to pull close the top of the box again.

"Nah," Naruto deadpanned, then glanced back at Rias, "Thought you said it was a guy? It feels even worse that you locked a little girl in this basement for so long, but also a bit less weird I guess."

"I am a boy!" Gasper shot back from the box, and then instantly started trying to close the box again, "Go awayyyyyyyyyyyy! I don't like people! Leave!"

"He is a boy," Rias confirmed, looking down into the box as Naruto casually held the child-filled box in his hands. Naruto glanced down, observing the middle schooler.

Pale skin. A thin face. Big eyes. And, most identifiable: The Kuoh Academy uniform they were wearing. The Kuoh Academy female uniform, fit with a skirt on the bottom.

"Looks like a girl to me," He deadpanned again, and Gasper whined again from the box.

"I'm not a girl! I'm a boy!" Gasper huffed again, glaring up defiantly at Naruto… for about half a second before he curled up in a ball and wouldn't look at him anymore.

"Oh, I get it," Naruto nodded sagely, "You're one of those gir- sorry, one of those boys."

"W-What's that supposed to mean?" Gasper asked, peeking through his fingers up at him.

"It's okay, man, I don't judge!" Naruto nodded comfortingly, waving his hand dismissively at Gasper, "My wife has fox ears and nine tails - why would I care if you want to get a sex change?"

Gasper stared at him blankly, then blushed as he started stuttering again, "N-No! I'm not like that, I'm actually a boy!"

"You are," Naruto nodded sagely again, "If that's what you want to be, then why would I care? Do whatever you want."

"No! I've always been a boy!" Gasper huffed again, moving his hands as he looked up pleadingly at Naruto.

"Of course. It's a person's insides that matter, not their outsides," Naruto nodded sagely again, putting a hand on his chin as if he was dropping some great knowledge, "If you think you're a boy at heart, then you can be one!"

"He really is a boy," Rias deadpanned beside him, peeking over his shoulder at Gasper, "He just likes to crossdress."

"Oh," Naruto nodded, looking down as Gasper's outfit made more sense, "...I mean, that's fine too, I guess? Is that why you're trying to hide in a box? You don't have to be embarassed about it - we all have our own hobby's."

"No! I just don't like people!" Gasper whined again, curling up in a ball again, "Go awayyyyyyyyy!"

"He's what the Japanese call a 'Hikikiomori,'" Rias explained, smiling softly at Gasper, "He doesn't like meeting new people, and is usually too shy to even go anywhere near anyone but me, Akeno, or Kiba. For just meeting you for the first time, he's actually doing pretty well."

"This is 'doing pretty well?'" Naruto deadpanned, staring at Gasper as he was curled up in a ball.

"Yup," Rias hummed, nodding at his words, "When he met my brother for the first time, he froze time for his entire five stages of grief, and then hid under his bed for a week."

"His energy was evil! His is… better," Gasper muttered, reluctantly looking up at Naruto as he relaxed a bit, "I… actually don't mind it."

"So, can you come out of the box?" Naruto asked, setting it on the ground. Gasper slowly nodded, uncurling himself as he stood up fully and looked at Naruto.

"Gasper-chan, this is Naruto, also known as the Youkai God," Rias introduced, nodding at Naruto, "As of recently, he's my husband. Naruto-chan, this is Gasper Vladi - my first bishop."

"Nice to meet ya," Naruto said, grinning down at Gasper as he placed a hand on the kid's head. Gasper's face flushed and he looked down at his feet at Naruto's action but preened under his touch.

"N-Nice to meet you…" Gasper muttered.

"So, what did you want me to help him with?" Naruto asked, looking curiously at Rias.

"He needs to start going outside more," Rias explained, locking eyes with Gasper, "You can't spend your whole life locked up, Gasper-chan."

"Yes, I can!" Gasper whined again, "I do the most contracts out of the whole peerage, so it's fine!"

"Contracts?" Naruto raised an eyebrow, looking around the relatively empty room, "How the hell does he do contracts from here?"

"The computer," Rias said, pointing at it, and Gasper nodded rapidly in agreement.

"There are lots of people on Deviltok that want to do contracts with me!" Gasper nodded rapidly, placing a finger on his chin as he thought for a moment, "I cover a big market, apparently. I think they call it a 'trap?'"

"And that is why he needs to go outside more," Rias deadpanned, "I know we're devils, but he still shouldn't be spending all his time dancing on Deviltok. He needs to go to school, and he needs to get used to meeting new people so he can participate in rating games in the future."

"Not happening!" Gasper shouted, abruptly turning around and lunging towards the cardboard box, "I'm not leaving! Go awayyyyyyyyy!"

"I think I can do something about this," Naruto hummed, appearing behind the box within the split second that it took for Gasper to travel through the air toward it. He lifted the box up, letting the boy sprawl onto the floor instead, "It's something Yasaka helped me develop. I use it to help her relax when she gets stressed out."

"Great! I knew I could count on you, Naruto-chan!" Rias cheered, acting as though he'd solved the issue already even though he hadn't done anything yet.

"Stand up, Gasper," Naruto ordered, and the boy slowly pushed himself onto his feet. As he did, Naruto placed his palm flat on Gasper's head and closed his eyes.

Slowly, a bright aura started to spread around Naruto's body, causing it to take on a bright yellow glow. Then, the energy flowed down his arm, rolling over his hand and onto Gasper. For a second, Gasper glowed as the energy surrounded him, and then he was done.

Naruto removed his hand, grinning down at Gasper, "So, how does going outside sound?"

"No wa-," Gasper cut himself out, blinking as he stared down at his palms, "...it… doesn't sound that scary?"

"What'd you do?" Rias asked eagerly, walking up next to Naruto.

"The chakra in this wor- ahem, I mean, chakra in general," Naruto quickly corrected his slip up, "Is very tightly tied to emotions - which is why some Youkai can go crazy from absorbing negative energy. I already cleansed most of the energy in this world, but that energy becomes diluted as it flows throughout the world."

Naruto held up his palm, a small glow surrounding it as he grinned cheekily at Rias, "My chakra is a lot more pure, and carries a lot more positive emotions. By flowing it into someone else, I can help them combat their negative emotions. It's pretty simple."

Naruto blinked as he watched Rias's eyes go wide, staring at him in slight awe, "Wow! You're awesome, Naruto-chan!"

"It was nothing," He waved dismissively. He really didn't do much - he just pushed a bit of his pure charka into Gasper's body.

"No, that was amazing!" Rias cheered again, turning her head to look at Gasper, "So, what do you think, Gasper-chan? Can you come out for a bit today, please? Even just to get some food with me and Naruto-chan!"

"S-Sure," Gasper nodded, blinking as he looked surprised at his own agreement, but then smiled softly. He looked up at Naruto, giving him a smile, "T-Thanks…"

"No problem," Naruto simply grinned. As he glanced at his ecstatic wife, and the now much less afraid Gasper, he felt a large sense of satisfaction.

This was actually pretty… normal. No system interruptions. No misunderstandings. 

As he thought back to the recent events, he chuckled to himself.

If anything, I was the one misunderstanding things today. 

As Naruto followed the duo out the door, he made a vow.

This is the start of a new chapter in my life. A more normal one. From now on, things will be normal!

Naruto would quickly, very quickly, find out that this new 'normal' chapter of his life only lasted one chapter - literally.

If anything, his life only got crazier from this point on.

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Naruto Uzumaki:

[Youkai God]

Lvl: 505

STR: 762

DEX: 725

CON: 540

INT: 215

WIS: 750

CHA: 999

LUK: 0

Skills: [Chess Mastery]

Perks: [Martial Arts], [You're a Wizard, Naruto], [Ladies Man], [God's Luck]

Debuffs: [Confusion], [Bad Timing]

Naruto Uzumaki is a Hero from another world, who has been reborn with the power of the Gamer system! 

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AN: Thank you for reading! I will now be updating this story multiple times a week!

Patreon.com/Koyon for those who want to read ahead (Up to chapter 30) or want to support me!