4 How to summon a Herobrine. (Edited)

(A Few Days Later – Ender)

Honestly, being overpowered was a blast. No grinding, no respawning, no worrying about fall damage because, well, I could just fly.

And the food? God-tier.

Minecraft food had no right to taste this good. No spices, no fancy ingredients—just cooking alone somehow turned basic bread into a five-star meal. Even a simple steak felt like it had been slow-cooked by the best chef.

But that wasn't the craziest thing I had discovered.

Nah. That honor went to a book I found in my fortress's library. Most of the books were the usual mix—some interesting, some boring as hell—but then, one shining like an enchanted book caught my eye.

Its title?

[How to Get Summoned to Earth! Complete Edition — Written by Hornyauthor]

I stared at the cover, blinking.

"... Hornyauthor? What the hell kinda author name is that?"

Still, my curiosity was piqued, so I opened it.

The first line?

[Poor soul, did you get stuck in the Overworld? Can't even open a portal to the Nether, End, or Aether? So sad. Well, the reason is—you have to go to Earth first!]

My eyes twitched, definitely.

Because, yeah. I had already tried to open every portal I could think of.

Nether portal? Lit up perfectly—didn't work.

End portal? The frame was fine—still a go.

Aether? …I didn't even know what the hell that was, but apparently, I was missing out.

I continued reading.

[So, I will tell you how to go to Earth! Are you happy that you'll be able to go home?]

I smirked. "Damn right, I am. If I can go back with these powers? Even better."

I imagined showing up to my old life, casually flying around, summoning thunderstorms, and scaring the hell out of people. Streaming would never be the same again.

And then… I read the next line.

[Too bad it's not your home Earth, but the Marvel Universe! :)]

I froze.

"...The fuck?" It felt like the start of some fanfiction, but whatever. If Marvel existed, then those crazy powerful beings, too; somehow, I didn't feel dread but excitement.

I kept reading, my excitement building.

[To continue, someone needs to summon you! And for that, you'll have to throw something into the void—something that contains a Ritual to summon you.]

Okay. Simple enough.

Then, the next line hit me like a brick:

[How to throw something into the void? Make a hole in the Bedrock. (Good luck with that! :D)]

I snorted.

"Pfft. Good luck? Bitch, I can break bedrock."

I flexed my biceps dramatically, as if I was about to punch the planet in half, which to be honest I can

Breaking bedrock was supposed to be impossible but for ME? It was about as difficult as breaking a soggy biscuit. I had god powers now—what was physics gonna do? Stop me?

Hell no.

Still, if I was gonna do this, I might as well make it entertaining.

Grinning like a maniac, I grabbed a random book and scrawled a new title onto the cover with my glowing fingers:

[How to Summon the Best Husband in the Universe Who Will Protect You! – By Herobrine]

I cackled like a lunatic. (Chunni)

"Yeah, let's see how that goes."

If some poor soul actually used this ritual, they would be expecting a loyal, protective husband.

Instead, they would get ME.

Herobrine, the almighty troll, destroyer of worlds, self-proclaimed food critic of Minecraft cuisine, and the ultimate harem king.

I tossed the book in my hands, admiring my own genius.

"This is either the best idea I've ever had… or the absolute worst."

Either way?

It was gonna be hilarious.

With a smug grin, I cracked my knuckles and pointed a finger gun at the ground.

"Alright, time to break some laws of physics."

With a casual punch, the ground shattered like a cheap window and even the bedrock broke, revealing an endless, swirling abyss.

I dusted off my hands like I'd just done the most basic chore.

"Too easy."

I glanced down at the masterpiece of a book in my hands—[How to Summon the Best Husband in the Universe Who Will Protect You! – By Herobrine]—and gave it one last nod of approval.

"Alright, future wife, don't disappoint me. Preferably a MILF."

With that sage wisdom, I yeeted the book straight into the void, watching it spin away into the abyss.

~~~

(Meanwhile, in Marvel's Primordial Era...)

The Earth was still young, filled with towering mystical trees, untamed wilds, and ancient cosmic energy.

Among the vast forests, a beautiful green-haired woman—the literal embodiment of Mother Earth, Gaia herself—strolled through her sacred grove.

[Gaia Pics]

She gently caressed the bark of a tree, smiling as the land thrived under her care.

"It would be nice to have someone to protect and tend to this world with me," she murmured wistfully, her ethereal green eyes gazing at the vast sky.

And that's when the universe decided to answer.

With violence.

Far above the atmosphere… a book appeared.

It wasn't flying down gracefully.

It was hurdling toward Earth at hypersonic speeds, glowing like a meteor, spinning wildly like it was about to commit some divine felony.

The heavens themselves seemed to roar as the book broke the sound barrier, leaving a trail of burning air behind it.

Gaia, the all-powerful primordial goddess, squinted up at the incoming projectile.

"…Huh?"

And then—

BOOOOOOOOOM!

A massive crater erupted right in the middle of her grove, shaking the very foundations of reality itself.

Birds screeched. Trees bent under the force. Entire continents might have shifted.

And right at the center of the devastation…

Gaia rubbed her forehead cutely.

"Oww… What in the Demiurge…?"

Despite being an immortal, nigh-invincible goddess, whatever had just smacked her actually hurt a little.

Her delicate fingers touched the object responsible for this unholy assault.

A book.

The title glowed in bold, arrogant letters:

[How to Summon the Best Husband in the Universe Who Will Protect You! – By Herobrine]

Gaia blinked.

She tilted her head.

She blinked again.

Then, slowly, she turned her gaze to the heavens, her green eyes narrowing in suspicion.

'Oshtur.'

She immediately assumed it was her sister messing with her.

She sighed, already preparing to throw the book into the nearest volcano.

But then…

Curiosity struck.

She bit her lip.

"…It wouldn't hurt to take a look," she muttered, flipping the book open.

And just like that, the universe sealed its fate.

~~~~

(Back to our protagonist)

After several months of waiting (or was it years? Time in the Overworld was weird), I had officially given up hope of ever being summoned.

"Maybe the MILF of my dreams doesn't exist…" I muttered, lounging in a steaming hot spring surrounded by glowing cave vines. My glorious muscles reflected off the water, making me look like a Greek god sculpted by the blocky hands of fate.

I had done everything to pass the time.

Tried opening Nether and End portals. (Failed.)

Built a giant golden statue of myself. (It Got struck by lightning; probably karma.)

Befriended a creeper. (It blew up in my face. Betrayal hurts.)

Wrote another book titled: "Dear Future Wife, Please Summon Me Already, I'm Getting Bored." (Threw that into the void too, but no response.)

At this point, I had accepted my eternal rule over the Overworld, enjoying my hot spring life like a retired god.

And then—

Reality collapsed.

One moment, I was enjoying the divine warmth of the spring, my hair flowing dramatically like I was in a shampoo commercial.

The next—

ZOOOP!

A giant glowing green magic circle appeared beneath me, and before I could even scream in protest, I was ripped out of existence.

~~~~

(Meanwhile, in Marvel Earth—)

Gaia, the almighty goddess of Earth, stood in the middle of her grove, hands raised, eyes glowing, ancient summoning magic swirling around her.

She had read the book.

She had performed the ritual.

And now—

A naked man crashed down in front of her with the grace of a dropped anvil.

BOOM.

Mud flew everywhere. Birds screamed. The trees shook from the impact.

Gaia blinked.

She stared down at the soaking wet, dazed, and very, very naked man now lying in the dirt.

He groaned, coughing up bathwater.

"…I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATH, WOMAN!" He yelled, flailing as I tried to cover myself with whatever dignity he had left.

Gaia… just stared.

~~~