50 A very Holy Marriage in Heven. Ft. Oinky

(Heven – Royal Palace)

Ender strode through the grand court hall of Heven, his boots echoing loudly against the polished golden floors, now stained crimson.

Hundreds of Angels lay scattered across the hall, alive but barely—their once-magnificent wings ripped from their backs, their divine pride reduced to sobs and whimpers.

Ender sighed, cracking his neck as he looked around.

"Honestly… I expected some resistance from you guys."

He lazily kicked aside a discarded wing.

"I mean, come on—who would have thought the so-called 'mighty' Angels of Heven were just budget knockoffs of Yahweh's Angels? At least those guys pack some actual firepower. Even a group of mid-level angels from their ranks could wipe the floor with you lot. And yet, somehow… you were feared across the realms before Asgard existed?!"

He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Man, the bar must have been really low back then."

Reaching the center of the throne room, he eyed the massive, gaudy golden throne—a monument of arrogance, decorated with stolen treasures and precious metals hoarded from weaker realms.

Ender snapped his fingers.

The golden throne disintegrated into dust, collapsing under its own weight like a pathetic pile of sand.

In its place, a jagged Netherite throne emerged—dark, unyielding, and indestructible.

Ender plopped down onto it, exhaling loudly as he stretched out.

"Phew… man, I just hope I don't end up becoming a genocidal maniac."

A heavy silence filled the room.

The Angels exchanged nervous glances, their trembling hands clenching their wounds.

Did he just say that after committing mass slaughter?!

Suddenly, as if realizing something, Ender's expression brightened with mock enlightenment.

"Ohhhh… so THAT'S why you guys were feared."

He snapped his fingers dramatically.

"Your numbers. Pfft. As if that would stop actual powerhouses. What, did you think sheer quantity was enough? That you could just Zerg-rush your way to victory? Please. If I wanted, I could have just nuked your entire realm and called it a day."

He leaned forward, resting his elbow on the armrest, his golden eyes glowing ominously.

"But noooo. I had to go and be nice about it. Give my little squad a chance to enjoy some good old-fashioned war. Build morale. Teamwork exercises, you know?"

A stray feather fluttered down in front of him. He lazily caught it between his fingers, twirling it.

"Oh, speaking of which…"

His gaze darkened as he muttered to himself.

"Luceris is going to be so pissed when she finds out I asked for directions to the washroom… and came back with a massacre."

(Heven – The Vault)

The Queen of Angels stormed through the gilded halls, her once-majestic composure shattered by panic.

Her kingdom was burning. Her warriors were defeated. And Herobrine… sat on her throne like he had always belonged there.

She wouldn't stand for it. She couldn't.

With hurried steps, she reached the Vault—the most sacred and forbidden chamber of Heven, where only the most legendary relics were kept.

Weapons of the gods. Armor of fallen kings. Artifacts of celestial destruction.

Surely, something inside could help her kill that monster.

SLAM!

She shoved the massive golden doors open, her breathing heavy—

And froze.

There, lying on a half-melted golden slab, was a fat humanoid pig.

Its bulging stomach rose and fell, bloated beyond recognition, like it had just eaten a feast fit for a god—

Or rather… a feast of gold.

Bits of precious metal still stuck out from the corners of its mouth, and with an utterly unbothered expression, it let out a loud, disgusting burp.

"Buuuuuurrrrp—"

The Queen flinched.

The Vault… her most sacred vault… had been violated.

Her greatest treasures had been devoured like cheap candy.

And the culprit?

Oinky.

The infamous Gold Merchant—a legendary Piglin known for his insatiable greed no maybe it was hunger for gold?

Still smacking his lips, Oinky finally noticed her presence. His beady, greedy little eyes flickered open, and he grinned, showing off gold-stained teeth.

"Oh? A customer?" he wheezed, patting his bloated belly. "Lemme guess… you need a good deal? I got some fresh gold right here—aged about five minutes in my belly, very high quality!"

He hiccupped, then burped out a small golden nugget, which clinked onto the floor.

The Queen barely had time to process the absurdity before her rage took over, her sacred treasures—eaten.

Her last hope—reduced to pig burps.

This fat, lazy creature had desecrated her Vault and now had the audacity to grin at her like some common merchant?!

Unforgivable.

With a furious snarl, she snapped her fingers, summoning a crackling lightning bolt in her palm.

"Enough!" she roared. "Die, you filthy beast!"

She hurled the bolt at Oinky.

And… he didn't move.

Didn't even flinch.

Instead, he just sighed, scratching his massive belly as if this was all some mild inconvenience.

"Here we go again," he muttered.

BOOM!

The lightning struck.

Smoke engulfed the chamber, for a brief moment, the Queen allowed herself a victorious smirk.

Then—

A deep, rumbling voice emerged from the smoke.

It was different from Oinky's usual lazy, wheezing tone. It was powerful. Commanding. And yet… somehow, still annoyingly casual.

"That really takes a lot out of me, you know," the voice echoed, far too unfazed for someone who had just been struck by divine lightning.

As the smoke cleared, a much larger figure emerged.

The very ground trembled beneath his weight.

The once lazy, round Piglin had transformed into something far more imposing—a hulking beast of a warrior, his muscles bulging beneath gilded Netherite armor.

His snout curled into a wicked grin, his beady eyes now glowing with a strange, unsettling hunger.

"By the way," he continued casually, cracking his knuckles, "I'm also known as Zhu Bajie in Ta-Lo."

The Queen stiffened.

Why… why was he telling her this?!

Then—before she could even react—

He stepped forward.

And the ground cracked beneath his sheer weight.

Every step felt heavier than the last, as if the Vault itself was buckling under his presence.

His once greedy laziness had morphed into something far worse.

Lust.

His massive hand reached forward, fingers twitching.

"Now…" he purred, his grin widening, "I'm going to make you my wife."

The Queen's blood ran cold.

~~~~

The Angels, battered, bruised, and wingless, watched in horrified silence as their Queen was forced to stand at the center of the grand hall.

Still dressed in her royal robes, her face twisted in rage and humiliation, she trembled with barely contained fury—but no amount of divine wrath could stop what was happening.

Because standing beside her…

Was Oinky.

Or rather—Zhu Bajie, in his fully 'groom-ready' form, who had somehow pulled a tuxedo out of nowhere.

It barely fit over his massive round belly, and the seams were already splitting from the sheer effort of containing his bulk.

The buttons were really giving their all.

He had oiled his skin—or was that just sweat?

His tiny beady eyes sparkled with gleeful excitement as he gazed at his reluctant bride with a disgustingly lovestruck expression.

"My sweet, angelic piglet," he cooed, his voice a mix of lust and devotion.

The Queen visibly cringed.

The Angels?

They looked one step away from death.

Not from their injuries—but from pure, unfiltered secondhand embarrassment and humiliation.

And then… there was Ender.

Sitting lazily on his Netherite throne, he leaned on one arm, watching the scene unfold like a man enjoying a theatrical disaster.

A chalice of Moo Moo Milk in one hand and a bucket of popcorn in the other.

"Alright, let's wrap this up," Ender yawned. He clapped his hands, and suddenly, a dark-robed priest appeared out of thin air.

A Skeleton Priest. (Be proud peasants he is an elder god)

The Angels' humiliation hit an all-time low.

"Dearly beloved," the priest rasped in a dry, hollow voice, "we are gathered here today to witness the union of Bitch Queen of Heven and—uhh…"

He turned to Oinky, flipping through his rotting marriage book.

"What's your name again?"

Oinky grinned, flashing gold-stained teeth.

"Zhu Bajie! Master of Gold, Lord of Gluttony, and soon-to-be Husband of this fine, curvy lady right here! Also known as Oinky" He waggled his thick eyebrows at the Queen, licking his lips.

The Angels collectively gagged while the Queen looked like she wanted to throw herself into the Void.

The priest coughed. "Uh-huh. Right. Moving on."

He turned to the Queen.

"Do you, Bitch of Heven, take this… uh… extremely large and sweaty Piglin, to be your lawfully and cosmically wedded husband?"

The Queen's eyes burned with hatred.

"I REFUSE—"

Ender raised a single finger.

Immediately, an army of Wither Skeletons loomed closer, their swords dripping with dark energy.

The Queen froze.

Her fists clenched.

Her pride screamed—but she knew resistance was futile, her voice shook with suppressed rage.

"...I do."

The Angels gasped in horror.

Oinky?

Oinky was crying.

Literal golden tears poured from his eyes as he clutched his chest dramatically.

"Oh my sweet honey ham, you make me the happiest piglin alive!" he snorted, wiping his face.

The Skeleton Priest then turned to Oinky.

"And do you, Zhu Bajie, promise to cherish, protect, and—"

"YES! A MILLION TIMES YES!" Oinky bounced on his heels, his massive belly jiggling with excitement.

The Angels looked away.

They had seen war.

They had seen death.

They had seen entire realms collapse.

But nothing. Nothing compared to this level of psychological damage.

The Skeleton Priest clapped the book shut a cloud of dust came out of the book.

"By the power vested in me by Lord Herobrine, I now pronounce you husband and wife!"

Ender smirked, leaning forward.

"You may now kiss the bride."

The Queen's entire soul left her body.

Oinky's snout wrinkled with joy as he leaned in.

The Angels?

They prayed for death; alas, Fate—No—Herobrine had other plans for them.

~~~~~

I think this is perfect and fits for our Herobrine mythos.

Hmm, should it be Oinky Sin of Gluttony or Greed? Or like a merchant Oinky of the Gold/Greed/Gluttony.

Or should Mc have his own version of Journey to the West maybe Journey to Worst?

My exams have started and then again exams again then projects, ugh I have no idea how I am going to manage soo I am gonna take a break from writing.

Okay?

We have already reached 50 chapters, I never thought I would have done but your comments and the Power Stones (sigh) keeps me motivated 👍

Though I will keep doing polls in the following days to see which direction of the story we are going.

Any ideas after the Stone Age Avengers what I should do?

Or should I focus on the lives of his pets?

Any ideas.

Another important thing -

Should Odin have his harem? NOTE Harem is VERY Common for powerful guys in this time.

Yeah, (Frigga, Firehair, Ambrgoeda)

Nope, (Only Frigga)

Only Agni