58 Journey to the Worst

The grand hall of celestial misfits was bustling with activity—or at least, it was before one particular declaration froze reality itself.

"We are going to travel to all the sacred cities."

The moment Sun Wukong, the Overworld Monkey King, uttered these words, time itself seemed to stop.

Fin Fang Foom, the ancient dragon, who had been about to sniff an unholy amount of shady dust straight into oblivion, froze.

Even the dust particles in mid-air seemed to hesitate as if reconsidering their life choices.

Oinky, the Gold Merchant, a round and ridiculously wealthy piglin, was mid-bite, about to devour another golden carrot when the carrot itself stopped in mid-air, defying gravity in protest.

For a full ten seconds, silence filled the room.

And then—

"Ooh, it works!"

A high-pitched, childish voice shattered the silence as a floating toddler appeared, levitating in the air while spinning a glowing green stone like a fidget spinner.

His eyes sparkled with excitement as he waved the Time Stone like a glow stick.

"Did you see that, Wukong?! This rock really can control time!"

The culprit?

None other than Agamotto—the child prodigy and absolute chaos gremlin, heir to Ender the Herobrine and Oshtur.

A 5-year-old reality-warping menace.

And he was holding the Time Stone like a toy.

Sun Wukong sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Yes, young master. I see that," he muttered, nodding tiredly.

He had been through many ridiculous things in his immortal life—but this? This was about to be next-level stupidity.

'How the hell did someone find an aspect of the Universe itself while playing in a damn garden!' he still couldn't help but feel something was wrong.

"What the hell do you mean, 'sacred cities'?!" Fin Fang Foom suddenly roared, finally snapping out of his frozen state.

His massive green wings flapped aggressively, sending golden dust flying everywhere.

"Do you think I have time to go on some tiring journey'?"

"No, you don't. But I do!" Agamotto grinned, pointing dramatically at himself.

"BEHOLD! I, the great Agamotto, have decided to gather my group and create history!"

He puffed out his tiny chest.

"I call it—"

"The Journey to the Worst!"

A long silence followed before Oinky slowly turned his head, "...Did you just say Worst?"

"Yes!" Agamotto grinned. "Because we are about to go from best to worst places across dimensions!"

Sun Wukong facepalmed, while Fin Fang Foom looked ready to set everything on fire and Oinky quickly chomped down his golden carrot, muttering something about early retirement.

"Okay, listen here, you little cosmic accident," Fin Fang Foom growled, towering over the child.

"You are saying that you, a 5-year-old, want me—one of the most powerful dragons in existence—to go on some stupid road trip?"

Agamotto smirked, eyes twinkling, "Yes! Because you owe me!"

Fin Fang Foom blinked, "…For what?"

Agamotto crossed his arms, "You ate my cosmic candy stash last week." Fin Fang Foom froze.

Oinky gasped. "You—YOU MONSTER!" the pig shrieked in fake horror.

Fin Fang Foom looked around nervously, "You can't prove that—"

"I CAN TIME TRAVEL."

"—Fine, DAMN IT."

Agamotto grinned victoriously. "Good! That's one idiot recruited!"

Fin Fang Foom sighed in defeat.

Oinky looked genuinely concerned as Agamotto turned towards him, "Wait. You are not seriously making me join, right?"

Agamotto floated closer, eyes gleaming, "You… are my merchant!"

Oinky gasped."You want me to be the travel expenses?"

"Yes."

The piglin looked at Wukong for help.

"You are really letting this child take over?"

Wukong just shrugged, "Kid is boss' spawn what do expect?"

Oinky collapsed dramatically, "This is a nightmare."

And just like that—

The greatest cosmic disaster of all time was set in motion.

A 5-year-old cosmic menace, a battle-hungry monkey king, a grumpy dragon, and a reluctant pig billionaire were now…

…going on a journey across all sacred cities.

For no actual reason.

"ONWARD, MY LOYAL FOOLS!" Agamotto declared, floating dramatically.

(A Few Moments Later…)

At the Grand Celestial Dock, the gathering of unfortunate souls was preparing to depart on their "Journey to the Worst."

Oinky stood dramatically, his round piggy belly shaking with emotion as he waved a silk hanky toward his MANY, many wives.

"I will come back soon, my loves!" he sniffled.

His wives, a diverse group of extremely wealthy pig yokai, Angels of Heven, Greed Demonesses, waved back with teary eyes.

"Stay safe, dear!"

"Don't spend all our gold!"

"Hide the golden carrots from Beelzebub!" one wife screamed urgently.

Oinky froze mid-sob.

"OH NO! I ALMOST FORGOT!" He turned to a nearby piglin servant. "LOCK THE VAULT! DOUBLE THE SECURITY! IF THAT HUNGRY DEMON STEALS EVEN ONE CARROT, I WILL START A WAR!"

The servant nodded solemnly.

Meanwhile…

Fin Fang Foom grumbled as he packed up his "belongings"—which mostly consisted of shady substances that absolutely no celestial being should be consuming.

"Ugh, I hate this," he muttered, as he reluctantly dumped an entire bag of glowing cosmic dust into a portal.

Wukong snickered, watching him suffer.

"Cheer up, dragon. You're our royal ride now!"

Fin Fang Foom growled.

Wukong, on the other hand, was positively beaming.

His eyes gleamed with excitement, "Finally! My journey will be even more legendary than that other monkey's! Fortunately, he's still buried under a rock, so there's no competition."

He cackled.

And then there was… Agamotto.

The 5-year-old cosmic menace skipped happily, carrying nothing but a tiny school bag.

Inside?

Only comics.

No food.

No clothes.

No emergency supplies.

Just comics.

At the departure gate, Oshtur was having a full-blown mom meltdown; her cosmic, all-powerful form trembled with maternal worry, and she sniffled, dabbing her eyes dramatically with a silk cloth.

"My baby…" she wailed.

She then turned to Ender, grabbing his sleeve in distress.

"What if someone kidnaps him?!"

Ender, who had seen many ridiculous things in his lifetime, just sighed, he placed a calm hand on her shoulder.

"I feel pity for whoever tries."

Oshtur sniffled but nodded, then she waved frantically at Agamotto.

"Baby! Don't take candy from strangers!"

Agamotto waved back.

"Okay, Mom!" (He was definitely taking candy from strangers.)

Oshtur then shouted one last piece of motherly advice.

"AND SHARE YOUR COTTON CANDY WITH YOUR FRIENDS!"

Oinky's ears twitched, His nostrils flared, and his piggish beady eyes slowly turned toward Agamotto.

"You… you have cotton candy?"

Agamotto grinned.

"Yup!"

Oinky immediately started drooling, the cosmic piglin merchant, who had spent his life trading rare and precious celestial treasures, was now staring at a 5-year-old with the hunger of a starving beast.

Fin Fang Foom sighed deeply, "This is already the dumbest adventure I have ever been forced into." And he had led a crew to conquer Earth while knowing about its gods.

Wukong laughed.

Agamotto cheerfully waved goodbye.

Oinky quietly plotted how to steal the cotton candy.

And thus…

"The Journey to the Worst" officially began.

~~~~

Next chap: Best means the Greatest.

Honestly I thought I should take a break on Saturday and Sunday but with those Power Stones you keep my energy charged so I will write and upload chapters on those days too.