New York

Citra was very nervous. She stood in the busy airport, her heart racing with excitement and a bit of fear. She had dreamed of this moment: leaving Indonesia for the colorful streets of New York City. Mom and Dad (as she called her stepfather) signaled her to follow their lead. With a suitcase filled with clothes, memories, and some important documents, she took a deep breath and started to step forward, even though everything felt uncertain.

It was just like the time she had bravely confronted Mom, in a terrible state. The woman cried, hugging her with guilt, pleading with her new husband to allow Citra to live with them in America. Fortunately, the old man didn’t mind, as long as Citra could live separately, with them in their house while she stayed in an apartment to continue her schooling and find a part-time job.

At first, Dad disagreed. He finally realized he had a daughter and began to fear losing her. After a long process, he finally relented.

Citra didn’t talk about her life without her parents. She kept that story tightly locked away, trying to forget it, especially for Damar, who had hurt her, and Ken, who had also disappointed her.

Damar didn’t even try to find her. It was as if he had completely forgotten or wanted to erase their memories. Meanwhile, Ken looked cozy on social media with a beautiful celebrity named Rose, a girl whom Citra thought was so cool and had many fans. Their relationship became an icon for the Rainbow group.

"I want to live in America," Citra finally decided. "Let it be, even if I have to struggle to live there later."

When the plane landed in New York, Citra began to feel waves of excitement flowing within her. The towering skyscrapers, the bustling sounds, and the tempting aromas from street food filled her senses. She had arrived in the city that never sleeps, a place where dreams could flourish or fade away.

After nearly a month living at Dad's house in Greenwich Village, she moved to an apartment in Manhattan to learn to live independently. Dad found her a job at a burger shop while Citra focused on taking painting classes from the famous artist, Paul George. Citra loved painting, even though she had long abandoned her hobby because she felt untalented.

Her first few months were a whirlwind of exploration. She visited Central Park, admiring the lush greenery amid the concrete jungle. The bright lights of Times Square mesmerized her, and the diverse environment whispered countless intertwined life stories. Citra was determined to make this city her home.

However, living in New York wasn’t without challenges. Citra faced the harsh realities of life in a fast-paced city. The cost of living was high, and finding a job was harder than she had anticipated. Many nights were spent in her small apartment, learning to budget, becoming independent, and reflecting on her identity. She also had to accept that as Mom became increasingly forgetful, her half-sister Laura was born as the star of the family.

That was the last year she was supported by Dad; afterward, he demanded she truly live independently. Mom remained silent, busy nursing Laura, seemingly wanting to teach independence to the girl.

Fortunately, Paul George didn’t mind teaching her for free. For that, Citra had to endure serving him in his art studio. Sweat mixed with oil paint seemed to create realistic paintings that were worth it. Even the fierce breaths that chased her inspired a mysterious strength in Citra’s subsequent works.

To make ends meet, she continued to work as a cashier at the burger shop. She worked diligently, and after shifts, she painted on the crowded streets of New York, hoping for coins thrown into the box near her paintings to pay her cheap, cramped apartment rent on time.

Despite the difficulties, Citra found solace in her love for art. She enrolled in night classes at a local community center, where she connected with fellow artists from around the world. Together, they shared ideas and inspiration, forming a close-knit community amid the chaos of the city.

Five Years Later

Five years flew by in a whirlwind of experiences. Citra transformed from a curious newcomer into a confident artist. With Paul’s help, she began holding small exhibitions at her first gallery, showcasing collections that reflected her journey bridging her Indonesian roots with the vibrant culture of New York. Her works resonated with many, earning her recognition in the local art scene.

Her friendships also blossomed. Citra found a diverse family among her friends, and they often gathered to share food, laughter, and dreams. The city that once felt intimidating now felt like a canvas full of endless possibilities.

As she stood in front of her latest work, a painting depicting the New York skyline intertwined with the lush landscapes of her homeland, Citra reflected on her life journey. She had faced challenges, embraced beauty, and carved out a space for herself in a city filled with millions.

Citra could finally smile, realizing that her story was just beginning. New York had become more than just a destination; it was part of her identity, a place where she learned to dream, create, and grow. And as she looked ahead, the future shone with promise, waiting for her to paint it with her unique colors.

Unfortunately, her relationship with Paul ended. One day, his wife, Caroline, caught them covered in oil paint and naked. That incident threatened Paul’s artistic career.

Carol was not an ordinary woman. She was a lawyer, and her family was very prominent in New York; her father was a former prosecutor, her mother a former TV presenter from the 80s, and even her siblings were police officers, journalists, and senators. One could imagine the immense influence that family had to ruin the brilliant career of Paul George, who was having an affair with his student just starting her artistic career.

That embarrassing incident forced Citra to hurriedly pack her belongings and schedule a trip back to Indonesia. After being chased around by gossip reporters, who even waited outside her apartment door, she was exhausted.

Mom did give her money for the trip back to Indonesia, but a harsh slap had to land on her cheek first. Mom didn’t even allow her to hug or kiss Laura goodbye. Dad didn’t want to see her again because the rumors about Citra also made him a target for reporters at his office. According to Dad, Citra was very foolish. She had an affair with the husband of a prominent woman, but it brought no money, only shame.

Citra cried on the flight home. She felt her life was truly ridiculous. Always alone bearing the burden. Always making mistakes without guidance. She even felt uncertain about living a normal life when she returned to Indonesia.