I Stayed Up for Nothing

*Nicoli*

"Did you enjoy the day, Your Royal Highness?" Thomas commented while helping Nicoli change into the nightgown. "You were out for quite the time." He went on, giving a pointed look to the wind-up clock, folding the suit over his arm. "But, I must say. It's quite admirable you were dedicated to greeting even the very last of guests." 

"That…." Wasn't what I was doing. But Thomas would be the last person he'd tell that to. 

Instead, Nicoli sighed softly. Silently rejoicing at the sensation of cotton, and not wool with its itchy, and confining ways, rubbing against his skin. It felt like angel wings, compared to that wool-like- prison.

"I…it was a long day," Nicoli confessed instead, and it was. After waiting for the last carriage, Nicoli was forced to take a late tea with his parents. And for whatever reason, he had to sit next to Hidi the whole time. 

I don't see why I was even there. Nicoli went on with a frown. 

It wasn't like he, nor his father, for that matter, contributed much. Neither was in a talkative mood, what with, both, being distracted, and constantly turning back to watch the door, hoping to see, despite how late it was getting, that the door would open and reveal…

In the end, though, it never did. What did happen, however, was Nicoli making a promise to take Hidi on a tour of the maze tomorrow. 

Well, more like forced to. But Nicoli didn't want to think about that, right now. 

"Too much excitement, maybe?" Thomas, meanwhile went on, giving a wet laugh. "Seeing all those fine ladies?" 

"Uh, no." Nicoli instantly frowned, finding it gross. 

"So do we have a favorite yet?" Thomas went on, helping Nicoli to bed. "Perhaps… her majesty, the Queen of Almony?" He prompted. "She seemed nice, right?" Thomas leaned over, tucking in the covers, but not before giving a not-so-subtle raise of his brow. "And I think her Majesty, your mother likes her. So…"

"Good night, Thomas." Nicoli cut him off, done with talking, and turned into the pillow, immediately pulling the covers over his face to block him out. 

"Your Royal…?" Thomas started again, clearly wanting to talk more, but when Nicoli made no gesture to be awake, he huffed. 

"Pain in my ass…" Thomas dropped his friendly tone and turned away, lightly cursing a storm of annoyance under his breath, having to deal with a moody 9-year-old, as he dragged his feet out the door. But even then, Nicoli didn't move.

No, he only waited until he heard the solid click of the door closing, and Thomas's feet dragged a good distance down the hall before he dared pull the covers back and turn to lie on his back. Letting his mind drift over the day's events. 

Like what happened, or rather…what should have.

"It should have though," Nicoli spoke at the ceiling. "I was so sure this time it'd work. It should have worked and she'd…" 

"Ah, come on!" Nicoli cried, kicking the covers. "But I sent my picture!" 

Why did it have to be so damn hard! Nicoli kicked up again. Questions burned through him, all wanting answers, but he couldn't get them because she wasn't here to answer them. Not even after I send an entire picture, she still won't even…

"Fine," Nicoli sighed, seeing it was no use, He wasn't going to sleep, not when his mind wouldn't stop buzzing like this, and kicked off the last of the covers.

I'll hit the maze. It was the best place, considering the heat. He could dunk his feet in the fountain. Maybe that could help, even a little. 

It'd be something, at least. And Nicoli crossed over to open the door a crack, to check to see Thomas gone.

"Must have gone to the bathroom," Nicoli assumed, but even if he was, he wasn't going to wait. The chance was more than golden.

Nicoli popped through the door, silent, before taking off to run down the hall. He turned a corner before having to slow down as he could see the guards ahead.

"Your Royal Highness?" The guards at the stairs greeted him with a little confusion. "Aren't you supposed to be…?"

"Shh," Nicoli pressed a finger to his lips before giving a wink. "You didn't see anything."

"Oh, yeah?" This had the guards laughing. "Well then," One guard moved to allow Nicoli to pass, as the other just laughed on. Both were mused by the boy's antics. 

"Thanks, guys," Nicoli replied with a quick wave before continuing past the next set of guards. They were just as easy to deal with. And by the time he reached the last set, those two didn't even ask what he was up to. They just waved him off, as he left outside, heading straight in.

Left…right…right…left…straight…left. At this point, the path was so engraved into his mind, that he could move in the dark without issue, his feet remembering the way. And it wasn't long before he found the very center of the maze, wasting little time to take his spot at the fountain.

"What else can I do?" Nicoli was saying under his breath, kicking off his shoes, and sticking his feet into the water, instantly making him shiver. The water was cold and felt nice. But not nice enough to stop him from thinking.

"Letters don't work. I've written you a thousand letters, by now." Nicoli whispered at his reflection, touching it, to see the other Nicoli do the same. "And I've drawn at least a million bears. So then, what else is there?" Nicoli watched the reflection look back at him with watery blue eyes. 

Should I…just give up? Nicoli leaned back on the ledge. His eyes drifted up to look at the stars. 

It was a good night to watch them, he could see. The sky was full, and the moon was out, half-eaten, but it still glowed against the blue. Glowing as bright as it could, despite missing the other half of itself. As if trying to work harder till the other came back. Still trying…

"Ha…," Nicoli sighed, pushing up, sliding on his shoes, and beginning to take the way back, kicking rocks as he went.

I'll…just think of something else. Nicoli leaned against one of the bushes to sigh, lost in thought for the moment, and almost missing a soft muffled sound. 

I…should get back inside. Nicoli turned, already heading back. Vaguely, he noticed that odd sound again, as if rocks shifting, leaves rustling. But he forgot it, over his own thoughts, thinking he was tired and hearing things.

Try to get sleep and… Nicoli crossed his arms over his chest. And then tomorrow, maybe I can come up with something different. 

"... please…?" That time, Nicoli heard. He could hear it because there was no way he couldn't. How could he not? They were almost crying. It sounded so desperate.

So desperate yet…Nicoli slowly turned, not sure what to expect. He didn't think anyone else was even out here this late. It was supposed to be just him. 

So who else is…? Nicoli widened his eyes when he found her. Standing there right behind him, on the other side of the wall. It was a girl.

Did one of them sneak out into the maze? Nicoli instantly furrowed his brows, annoyed.

"Hey, you're not supposed to be," But before Nicoli could finish, he noticed something he hadn't before. 

Her eyes are…? Nicoli blinked back at the girl watching him through large blood-red eyes, rimmed thick with lashes. She was wearing something funny over her head, some kind of red scarf, shielding all her hair underneath.

"Who are..?" Nicoli tried to speak, but nothing came out, just air fell from his mouth, before he fell back into utter silence, just looking after her, trying to place her. Trying to place where he saw those eyes before.

"I… knew it." The girl, meanwhile, started shaking her head, and suddenly, she was running. She was rushing away from him, almost as if she were in some kind of panic. Running and pushing herself forward into the maze, her feet slamming against the ground, going faster and faster.

And while moving, Nicoli could see it at last. The rush of air lift her shawl and reveal hair, long and wavy, breaking free like a tail behind. It shimmered, a wash of silver dancing through the air, breathtakingly beautiful, like the moon.

"Silver but that can't-?" Nicoli snapped back. But even as he could see, he couldn't believe his eyes. Because that was impossible. It couldn't be. She never showed up. He had waited. He had waited all day and Ana never…

"Wait a minute," Nicoli picked up his feet, trying to reach out for her. "hold on!" but it didn't seem like she could hear him. She was getting too far. He was going to lose her at this point.

No, I won't! Not again, not if he could help it, not if he could stop it. No more.

This was ending. Tonight. 

With that, Nicoli began to suck in air. He sucked in as much as he could, till it burned, till it was so full it hurt. Full and painful. Till he couldn't take anymore, of air, letters, or hoping.

And he began, what he should have done back then. Back when he saw her that day, in the snow all, five years ago. 

But now, Nicoli could. And he did. He did it with all he had. Pushing every inch of air out, until his ribs caved in. And even then, it wasn't enough. It never would be.

 "ANA!"