[Chapter 004] My Funeral

Who in the world can attend their own funeral? My real body was right there in front of me. My corpse was beautifully adorned and would be displayed for 100 days. Most of the Imperial family, including their spouses, held funerals in this way. The daughters and sons of God. I don't know if it was to instill a sense of fantasy in the people, or if it was a sense of superiority, that the Imperial family couldn't hold the same kind of funeral as the nobles. I remembered the funeral of Her Majesty, Empress Retina, who passed away when I was a child. She was also beautifully adorned at the time. And she was laid to rest in a glass coffin surrounded by flowers, and her funeral lasted for 100 days. The sad and beautiful scene is still vivid in my mind, and now my body is in that coffin. As I got closer to the glass coffin, I unconsciously pulled the veil attached to my hat all the way down to my nose. Not many nobles knew my face, unless they were close friends. It was all thanks to my husband, Noebian, who rushed to get me married as soon as I had my debutante ball. It was good that I had Blier's fresh and healthy body, but it was only when I came to this solemn and grand funeral that I began to feel this reality.

'This is God's trick.'

This dreamlike reality isn't a situation I should just be happy about. This is God's trick. And a very cruel one at that.

'Ah-!'

I saw 'me' up close, lying in the glass coffin with my eyes closed, surrounded by all sorts of flowers, among the people who were praying and singing hymns. A pale corpse with only her face exposed, covered in beautiful things, with her eyes closed. It was exactly the same as Her Majesty, Empress Retina's funeral.

'I'm really dead, I am. I'm really dead.'

The black dress I wore, the black hat, the black veil that covered my face. But it wasn't just those things that were dark, it was my heart. It felt like my heart was literally burning black.

"According to the laws of Ronta, the Imperial family and their spouses are given a 100-day funeral."

"Glory to the Lord."

"May the deceased be blessed."

People prayed, wishing for a blessing that was useless once you were dead. I frantically searched for my husband with blurry eyes. Noebian was standing tall in front of the glass coffin, staring blankly at it.

"No…!"

I instinctively tried to call out his name, but I met his eyes head-on as he immediately raised his head. His name wouldn't come out of my mouth anymore. He must have seen the face of this 'Blier', but Noebian immediately turned his eyes to 'me' in the glass coffin.

'Stupid.'

What was I trying to confirm by calling him? I had thought it was a foolish delusion of the ignorant maids, but I couldn't let go of the thin thread of doubt that remained in my heart. When I met his cold eyes, which I had never received as Adrienne, my head went blank. And suddenly.

"Ugh… ."

Noebian started to cry. It was the first time I had seen him express his emotions so openly, and I, who had been absorbed in the world of noblewomen, stared at him blankly. Until the priest's long prayer ended. Until the other people opened their eyes, which they had kept closed. The nobles bowed respectfully to Noebian, whose face was filled with sadness, expressing their condolences. I could only stand behind him and blankly watch the people who had come to my funeral. It was hard to tell how many people visited this cemetery and then got back on their carriages.

'Was I really that important?'

I debuted in society, caught Noebian's eye, had an early wedding, was sick all the time, was confined to the mansion, and died at the age of 22. Most of the people crying are strangers to me. Maybe none of those people truly grieve my death. What's even funnier is that I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw my original body in the glass coffin, because of this mistress's body, which looked exactly like me, even in my physique. It took me a long time to accept that I was dead, even though I knew it was reality. Noebian is right in front of me. I'm alive and breathing here. This was also reality for me. If someone would just call me Adrienne, not that corpse… . If I could just pretend that this was just a day when I was feeling better, and that I was a Grand Duke couple attending someone's funeral, I would have accepted it. But no one called me Adrienne. 

The Duke and Duchess of Pireta arrived at the Trovica family cemetery, and half the guests had already left. The Duke of Pireta, Gregory, the deceased Grand Duchess's brother, kept on losing his strength in his legs and almost collapsing, while his wife, Bianca, held him up with all her might. But her face, visible through the black veil, was also soaked with tears.

"Lien…! Ah-. Ah-!!"

"Honey!"

Finally, Gregory collapsed as soon as he reached the glass coffin. Bianca, who had let out a low scream, also covered her mouth with her hand. Young, beautiful, and pale. The corpse, which was even sadder because of that, filled her eyes, and she couldn't help but burst into tears.

"You, you, bastard!!"

"Honey! Ugh… Honey, stop it!"

"Bring my sister back to life! Bring Lien back to life!!"

"Honey! We know better than anyone that he did his best!"

Gregory Pireta, who was sobbing uncontrollably, was a boisterous person, just as the rumors said. The remaining guests simply bowed their heads in silence, as if it were nothing. Such a display of emotion was forgivable at a funeral. Whether they were nobles or royalty, many people cried, laughed, and acted out in front of the dead. Noebian Trovica, known as the Emperor's strategist, was already drenched in tears, and Gregory, the Grand Duchess's brother, was the same. After a long, meaningless struggle, Gregory finally embraced the Grand Duke, who was standing silently, and choked back tears, sobbing. The hymns that were softly echoing grew louder, along with the prayers of the elderly women.

"Oh, Lord… . Please bless the deceased!"

They, who also had black veils covering their faces, prayed for the Grand Duchess Adrienne, whose face they had never even seen properly. Soon, guests and wreaths sent from the Imperial Palace arrived. They placed the beautiful flowers in front of the deceased's coffin and made the sign of the cross to the Lord. After all, the Grand Duchess was the Grand Duchess. It was a funeral like any other, but Adrienne, who was among the elderly women, was struggling to hold back her tears. She was already shedding tears because of Noebian's sobbing, and when Gregory and Bianca joined in, she couldn't hold back any longer. 

It was the middle of winter when she died. It had only been a few days since she died, but the night wind was sharp enough to cut through the skin. The air in the cemetery felt colder than anywhere else. One by one, people disappeared, and Noebian had gone to supervise the people who were moving the glass coffin containing my body to the Grand Duke's mansion for the night. But he would come eventually. He was the kind of person who took responsibility for everything he started. He wouldn't return to the Grand Duke's mansion without checking this cemetery, which hadn't been fully cleaned up yet. My face, which was filled with a stubborn certainty, was numb. It felt like someone had slapped me across the cheek. My face, which was wet from crying so much, had frozen in the night wind.

'Come quickly, Noah… .'

I moved away from my white tombstone, far away. No one could easily see me, but I was in a place where I could see the entrance to the cemetery. It felt like the gravedigger, who guarded the entrance to the cemetery, was ready to chase me away at any moment, so I stood behind the well-kept garden bushes, as if I were hiding. In the cemetery, where there was no one except the person guarding the entrance, I waited for my husband. How long had I been waiting? My hands, which were already pale, were getting colder and colder, and I was clenching them tightly when, miraculously, the sound of wild hooves broke the heavy silence. I immediately straightened my stiff body and stuck my face out from behind the bushes. The gravedigger saluted someone with a sharp movement. A figure jumped off the horse without even properly stopping it, casting a shadow like a giant ghost from hell as it entered the cemetery entrance. Was it Noah? My inflated expectations gradually faded. The figure of the man, who looked like a soldier at a glance, was so large that it was overwhelming even from this distance, as he approached the gas lamp that illuminated the area around the tombstone. It wasn't Noebian. It wasn't his calm gait, but a much more savage and hurried gait. The figure, who had driven the horse wildly, breaking the silence, didn't say anything in front of the tombstone, just stood there silently. The silence was heavier than when he was alone. The clouds that had been covering the moon parted, and light reached the man's back. It wasn't a mood for appreciating anything, but his violently sparkling blonde hair stung my eyes. It almost looked silver. Who was it? He wasn't shivering in the cold like me, and the man stood awkwardly in front of the tombstone without a body, frozen.

Even though I could only see his back, I had the illusion that despair was flowing down his massive back. And soon, he stumbled.

"!"

I instinctively reached out my hand, then quickly retracted it. The man, whose physique was so imposing that I would have to look up at him from a great distance if I were close, simply collapsed to the ground, his knees buckling. He managed to sit up. I felt the blood rushing through my body and watched it intently. The man, who had been touching the tombstone, on which only his name was inscribed, sat there as if he had lost his mind, and then suddenly began to shrug his shoulders. Was he crying, or laughing?

'Or is it both?'

The man, who was strangely shrugging his shoulders, looked more and more like an angry or crazy person as time passed. And as his body shook, his sparkling hair shattered like stars. I was drawn to him, as if possessed, and slowly approached him. No one, except Noebian and his family, had ever shown their emotions in front of this useless tombstone.

'Who are you?'

I wanted to ask. Who was he, who had ridden his horse so hard in the middle of the night, who was shaking his shoulders like that… . I was walking as if I were hypnotized, and I stopped abruptly halfway there.

'What am I going to say if I go up to him?'

This person knows 'me'. If he didn't, he wouldn't be so sad. But how would I explain my current state? My sudden curiosity was overshadowed by the fear of how someone would react if they saw me now. I took a step back, the same distance I had naturally come. And what stopped me from taking another step back was when the man's breath, which sounded like a sob, stopped abruptly, and a low voice, as if crawling along the ground, seeped into the silence.

" …Adrienne? "

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