[Chapter 005] A mad woman and a weeping handsome man

The cemetery was filled with a silent chaos. The name I had longed for him to call me throughout the funeral came from the mouth of a man I had never seen before. I looked at the man who turned his head to me, his face stiff. His wet face was distorted and ruined, looking pitiful. His sunken eye sockets, his intense red eyes that glowed strangely in the gaslight and moonlight.

My heart felt like it was plummeting, and a shiver ran down my spine. It wasn't just because of his strange red eyes. The distorted face of the man, who was howling like a wild animal that had lost its prey, like a beast that had lost its child, confused me. The one who should be crying so hard that his face was completely disfigured wasn't this man I had never seen before, but Noebian. The one who should be calling my name now wasn't this strange man, but my husband. The one I should be facing now… .

'I need to see Noebian first.'

I couldn't face another person who knew my face, not when I didn't even know who I was in this body. It was like an animalistic instinct.

"Adrienne…!"

The man froze, then stood up abruptly. At the same time, his broad shoulders swayed. In the slightly brighter light, he looked like someone who had been badly injured. The front of his uniform jacket, which was covered in medals, was stained with a reddish blood. The man stumbled, covering the area with his large hand. I managed to move my stiff body and turned around, running as if this was my last chance. Fortunately or unfortunately, Blier's new body was so healthy that I could run easily.

"Adrienne, Adrienne…!"

A pitiful voice, one that would never come from someone who didn't know me, pierced my head. I ran as if I were crazy. I don't remember how I got out of there. I don't even remember if the voice calling me was the man with the red eyes or the gravedigger standing at the entrance. I clutched my wildly beating heart, gasping for breath, and got into the Count's carriage that was waiting for me on the side of the road. Ignoring the coachman's bewildered shouts, I pounded on the wall like crazy. The coachman, who had hesitated, shouted "Whoa!" and immediately started the carriage. The dim lights flickered past the window of the speeding carriage. As the lights illuminating the darkness continued and my ragged breath calmed down,

"Huh?"

I checked my feet, which somehow felt empty. My white silk stockings, torn in several places, were a mess, covered in dirt and grass, and two toes were sticking out. And the black shoes I had worn to match my outfit were completely off.

"Ha… ."

I huddled up, resting my elbows on my knees, and clutched my head with my still trembling hands. I remembered barely managing to keep my balance and run, almost falling as I ran. I think my shoe heel got stuck in a small mud pile at that time. The man's eyes I had met in front of the tombstone were half-crazed. Like someone who was a little crazy. That's why I ran away so desperately. The red eyes that flashed under the moonlight were definitely like that. Even as he covered his bleeding wound, even as he stumbled as if he would collapse at any moment, he tried to come to me. I took a deep breath, brushing the small pebbles off my muddy feet.

"Who on earth… was that… ."

I had been running so frantically that I hadn't had time to think back on what had happened. At the same time, I clutched my head, which suddenly started to throb, and tried to recall the man's face in more detail. Who was that man? I had only attended a couple of parties after my debutante ball. The man who appeared in the empty cemetery was like a sun that had risen in the winter night, dazzling and breathtakingly beautiful for a moment. There was no way I wouldn't remember a handsome man like that, but I couldn't remember who he was at all. 

I arrived and sat in the carriage for a long time, dazed, before finally regaining my senses and entering the Count's mansion.

"Madam! You're back?"

"Madam, your foot…!"

Mazi and Yona rushed to my side, clearly worried about me having gone out without a single servant. I took off my hat and collapsed onto the reception room sofa. My body and mind were both exhausted and confused. The events that had unfolded in a single day were all too overwhelming, and my head felt like it was going to burst. My death. My new body. The people who called me my husband's mistress. My funeral. And the man I didn't know who was sobbing there. Yona, who had taken the solemn black hat that was only worn at funerals, diligently rubbed my legs, carefully removing my torn stockings and washing my feet. The water brought in for me to wash my hands quickly became foot bath water. My feet tingled as soon as the warm water touched them, as if they were injured. Mazi, sensing something had happened from my state, paced nervously in front of me.

"Did, did you see His Grace, Madam?"

Ah, yes, Noebian. The sound of his name brought back the events I had forgotten in my escape, and I snapped out of my daze. Because of the beautiful, beast-like man who had suddenly appeared, I hadn't waited for Noebian until the end. As I realized that, a strange sense of unease washed over me. The face of the man I had never seen before, which had filled my mind the whole way back, was instantly erased.

'What… what should I do now?'

I finally recalled Noebian's face at the funeral. Even until the last time I saw him, he had quietly endured the first day of the funeral, not giving me a single glance.

"Madam?"

"… ."

I silently nodded, without answering. I had seen Noebian. Mazi, who was examining my face again, saw my tear-stained face and stopped her restless movements for a moment, speechless.

"The Grand Duchess's body too?"

"…Yes."

I could only manage to answer in a voice that was completely choked. I saw it. I saw it clearly. Me, adorned more beautifully than when I was confined to my bed as a sick woman in the Grand Duke's mansion. The reality that I no longer even had a body to return to. Noebian would have to show my body to the visitors who came to pay their respects, like a host showing off a precious antique whenever an important guest came. It was ridiculous. Noebian, who had been treated like a dog by the Imperial family for the past two years, had a hard time staying in the capital for more than two days. He would have to stay in the capital for 100 days, without fail. After I died. That was also the duty of the Imperial family.

"…I thought you'd be overjoyed, but why are you crying?"

I must have been crying the whole time. Mazi said gruffly, but she handed me a handkerchief. I buried my face in the handkerchief and silently choked back my sobs on the sofa.

'You're young.'

Noebian's voice, which always comforted me by holding me in his arms, buzzed in my head. Yes, I was still young and ignorant, and even this morning, I was so happy about the healthy body I had been given that I didn't know what to do. It was the body I had wished for my whole life. I was so ashamed. I had gained a healthy body. But on the other hand, hadn't I lost everything? My husband is no longer the beautiful Noebian, and my name is no longer Adrienne Trovica or Adrienne Pireta. How wonderful it would have been if this situation had been a fairy tale or a novel. Then I wouldn't have been the Countess of Acacia. Noebian would have known, as if by fate, that Adrienne was in this body as soon as he saw me. Then I would have run to Noebian, kissed him, and cheered that I had finally shed my sick body and been reborn into a new one. I would have screamed with joy, saying that God had finally granted my wish. But I clearly remembered the glances of some of the noblewomen and young ladies who were paying their respects at the funeral, all of them looking at Noebian. They all looked healthy and beautiful. It wasn't a scene from a fairy tale. It was the reality I was experiencing. If my soul had actually left this world, I would have smiled wistfully from heaven, saying, "I'm happy, Noah, even without me," but seeing it with my own eyes made me sick.

'Ah-. It's ridiculous.'

Despite the burning emotions, a ridiculous laugh kept bursting out, along with tears. I was dead, and I was even in someone else's body. It was just that, that made me even more miserable. Mazi, seeing me continue to sob with my face buried in the handkerchief, fidgeted, then finally sighed and sent Yona to bring me a cup of calming tea.

'This is the first time I've seen Noah cry.'

It was a huge shock to me, who had never seen his vulnerable side. I wanted to hit my head hard for even doubting him for a moment.

'How could I be so stupid?'

The one who was suffering the most was Noebian, who was struggling with the loss of me, who had to face the mourners with my body beside him. My shallow doubts about Noebian, who had sent someone to invite the vassal's wife to the funeral, were completely erased. It was an expression that could only come from someone who loved. I had seen it with my own eyes.

"Madam! Madam!!"

And the reason why my sadness was replaced in an instant was because of a mysterious card.

"Madam, this was at the front of the house!"

Yes, it was just that one card, the handwriting on it, that Yona, who had gone to prepare chamomile tea, came back with in a hurry. "Keep your promise, B." The handwriting of the person who was calling B, clearly Blier's initials, was… . It was definitely the same as my husband, Noebian's.

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