Diaries and the Divine general

(Gun to ya head, name me 1 anime character you would smash until your dick (or vagina) falls off, but they gotta be above the age of 25 and below the ages of 64. Me personally, Granny Seiko is getting fucked in every single way I know how.)

Dear Diary,

I need, like, a mental reminder to write in this thing. It's been about 2 weeks since my last entry in this thing, and a lot of things have changed. First on the list, I think I'm ready to finally fight Mahoraga; I mastered the binding vows I'll use in the fight.

My first vow would be in exchange for needing 3 hand signs, a chant, and a sacrifice of cursed energy; I can use the waffle maker move I used against Andrealphus. Exploiting the binding vow's loose rules, I can almost negate the cursed energy sacrifice with my six eyes, basically making a portable malevolent shrine.

My second vow would be that in exchange for giving up using any other shadow for 9 minutes, the one I'll summon will be 200% stronger, and that's not even accounting for the boosts I could do by supplying my shadow with my overabundance of cursed energy.

I've also started looking into cursed tools and barrier techniques; barriers are much harder than I thought. You see, barriers aren't made up of pure cursed energy like I had imagined; they're very complex. You must weave your cursed energy into a space while stating your intent on the world, kind of like haki in a sense.

I've only gotten started on fully making veils, barriers that block out audio and visual stimuli by making my cursed energy obscure the senses of anyone who gazes upon it without cursed energy. I tested it once, successfully making one around myself in the living room and scaring Vaggie… who unceremoniously beat me like an addict after taking away their vape for 4 minutes and 11 seconds.

On the other hand, cursed tools were much easier than I thought. I initially thought that they were made by special blacksmiths in the jujutsu world, specialists on making weapons from cursed energy, but it turns out it was much easier than I thought. 

One day, when I trained with Vaggie, I made a rock katana from earthbending and injected my cursed energy into it. I accidentally forgot to despawn it, and when I woke up tomorrow, it still had cursed energy in it, and it was very slightly stronger. I kept doing this for a few days, training with Vaggie, injecting the tool with cursed energy repeatedly, and I genuinely couldn't believe that cursed tools were really just this easy to make.

But enough about cursed energy for the day; I already wrote it 12 times now. I really want to talk about Nifty… I really like Nifty; seriously, I feel like a sucker in love, but dammit, she's made me happier than I've been in a long time while being everything I want in a woman. Fat ass, great personality that bounces off of mine, all the while being super cute. Hell, about 3 days ago she fussed about me wearing my coat since it's getting "too cold"; it was like we were an old married couple.

Unfortunately, this has the adverse effect of me being… excitable during nights while Nifty is sleeping next to me. It's almost like she does it on purpose or something, but I won't write down my fantasies in my journal, especially when it has the chance of being found out by Roo.

Speaking of Roo, I think I'll accept her offer. She's basically offering me free power in exchange for just continuing to be me, but I still don't know if the extradimensional deity could be lying to me, so I'll use The Ghost With the Most to temporarily give myself toon force and make a device before doing anything else.

(AN: Betcha thought I forgot about that, didn't you?)

Anyway, I'm going to go fight big Raga; I'll write down what happened later if I live.

Scene Change: Wastelands of Pride

(James POV)

I rode upon the back of a large owl-like creature with orange feathers and a white mask-like skull. Having large wings, two sets of talons, and human-like teeth. This was, of course, Nue from my ten shadows and the one shadow that I had designated to be my trump card for this fight. My Nue was much bigger than Megumi's, who was the size of his torso, yet smaller than Sukuna's, who dwarfed a skyscraper; mine was about the size of a small house.

Although I could make Nue much bigger, it wouldn't make sense right now. Besides, I don't want people to be taking pictures of me while I'm just riding my way to fight off the shikigami that could potentially be invincible if left alone… Just minding my business, you know?

Jokes aside, after about 8 minutes, I get to a point where I think I've gotten away from civilization enough for me to actually summon Raga without worrying about lives. Nue flies me to the ground and lands; I get off and pat him on his mask, making him snuggle into my hands. I soon start imbuing my cursed energy into him, trying to make him stronger.

Nue's lightning starts to crackle, barely a flicker at first, but it starts to ramp up more and more, a crackle to bolts traveling across its hide, to lightning full-on becoming a second skin for him, making him seem like a bright light. He flies into the sky as I start to get into position for summoning Mahoraga before getting a bright idea first.

'I wish to enter a binding vow with Nue. Your first attack will be 200% stronger; in exchange, all of your attacks until you're desummoned will be 70% weaker. Nue lets out a loud ca-caw as I feel a chain wrap around both my heart. 

I'm really betting on Nue and me being able to finish this fight in a single blow, especially because of how different Mahoraga could be. In the manga of JJK, Sukuna took out Mahoraga in barely 2 chapters, yet in the anime adaptation, he fought against Sukuna much longer and could regenerate back from being a literal red blood stain.

I take a deep breath and extend both arms forward at a slight upward angle with my fists closed. "With this treasure, I summon Eight-Handled Sword Divergent Sila Divine General Mahoraga." And with the darkening of the area around me, I felt a malevolent presence behind me. I looked behind me and saw a large cocoon shaking before an 8-pointed golden wheel materialized above his head. Soon, a mouth breaks out of the cocoon, letting out a roar before two arms break out as well, and the cocoon bursts off, revealing Mahoraga's overwhelming intensity.

Mahoraga was a very tall shikigami; standing at around 10'7 '7, he towered over me, his 4 eyes being replaced with small wings. His pale white skin accentuated his very bulky and fit build, a short sword attached to his right wrist emanating RCT.

"GO GO GADGET ZEUS BIRD!"

CA-CAW!!!

Without a second to spare, a spear of lightning came down from the sky, like God's judgment, and slammed itself upon Mahoraga. I also quickly transformed into my Heian era form and quickly got up my hand signs and started chanting.

"Plate of pancakes. Syrup. Twin bacon. 

Waffle Maker"

CLANK

The telltale sign of Mahoraga's adaptation sounded out; my heart dropped into my ass as I started to add my own dismantles to the mix, ignoring the throbbing pain in my head from using both techniques at once.

Alongside the beam of purplish lightning, thousands of little dismantles rained down on Mahoraga's body, ever increasing the pressure on him. Neither I nor Nue let up until Nue had run out of cursed energy, the lightning and him both dissipating, revealing nothing in Mahoraga's previous position.

I quickly looked around in panic, trying to see where Mahoraga could've gone; maybe he's plotting to sneak up on me, or maybe he's already adapted to my slashes and he's just toying with me? My anxiety-fueled musings were quickly cut off by a loud sound near me.

THUNK!

I looked down and saw Mahoraga's wheel lying by my feet, its edges being slightly charred and the inner circle being cut up a little bit. I tried to reach down to pick it up, but before I could, it quickly was attracted to my head. I tried to dodge, but it settled itself on top of my head, staying there for a brief moment before finally melting into shadows, which trailed alongside my back, making a niggling feeling at the back of my mind manifest as I finally figured out that this meant that the divine general was finally mine.

I let out a small grin, which I was immediately punished for with a massive headache. I quickly summoned Nue back and rode back to the hotel, round deer healing me on the way. After about 20 minutes, I made it close enough to see the hotel, where I saw a sight I never hoped to see.

Angel Dust was stumbling up the hill to the hotel; his bottom two arms were by his sides and bruised beyond belief. He held a defeated and lifeless look in his eyes, well, the one that didn't have a black eye. His iconic suit was torn to pieces as he walked around half naked, revealing his busted-up left leg with rope burns on it. He looked up at me, and his lifeless eyes gained the smallest bit of hope.

Only one thought invaded my head.

'Valentino's going to fuckin' die.'