Letting go

I slumped into my seat, exhaustion weighing heavy on my shoulders. A pang of annoyance shot through me as I spotted Magnus, his usual carefree grin plastered across his face. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was somehow involved in the recent shit Chloe was on about.

I pulled out my phone, hoping to distract myself before he walked up to me. His grin only fueled my anger, and this time, it seemed forced to me no matter how I tried to place it. He plopped down in the seat in front of me, his eyes locking onto mine as he tried to grab my attention.

"Sup, bro?" he said, his tone laced with concern. "You didn't even acknowledge me. What's going on?"

My expression twisted, but my gaze remained fixed on my phone's blank screen. "Acknowledge you?" I repeated, my voice steady and laced with a hint of intensity. "I need to ask you something, and I want an honest answer. Can I trust that I'll get one?"

He shifted uncomfortably, confusion etched on his face. "Uh... sure," he muttered, his voice tinged with hesitation.

Our eyes locked, and the air grew heavy with tension. "Was Chloe cheating with you?" I asked, my voice low and even.

His eyes widened in shock, and he stuttered, "W-w-what are you-"

"Just answer the fucking question. Did you have something to do with Chloe? Were you two dating, making out, and all the bullshit behind closed doors?"

My glare pierced through him, sending shivers down his spine. His eyes darted around, searching for an escape, but mine remained fixed, unwavering.

"I'll know if you're lying," I warned, my voice dripping with conviction. "So, save yourself the trouble. Tell me the truth."

The silence that followed was oppressive, the only sound the heavy breathing from both of us. He knew he was trapped, and I could see the fear creeping into his eyes. He was gonna break, and some part of me is hoping he doesn't - I don't want him to admit it. I can't stand my best friend telling me he actually did that to me knowing fully well we aren't in some high school drama.

"I... I didn't mean for it to happen this way. I... I was gonna tell you... Eventually,"

Shit. He spit it out. "Magnus, I can't believe you!" I got up in a fit, throwing my palm on my face and the other one my waist. This was all too much for me to process. He stood up too asking that we took this outside since it was more quiet and I agreed.

****

"...That's how it all happened. I'm sorry about it. I would've told you sooner but I didn't know how you would handle it."

"And it was better to not say anything?"

We both stood there in silence. His story made no sense to me if I'm being honest. Chloe was his friend and I got to know her through him. I started dating her after a while and he's claiming she was dating him and decided to take a break from him and get into a relationship with me. "Whatever. I don't think we should stand together right now. I can't even look at you. I thought we were friends." I uttered angrily.

"We are."

"We are? A friend doesn't date his best friend's girlfriend and keep it a secret. That's fucked," it's really fucked but I feel like I don't care at this point. Everyone, I love somehow develops a problem just so I'd cut them off from me or vanishes out of the blue. It's almost like the universe wants me single and alone. I walked away from him, heading back to class. He tried talking to me throughout the day but I didn't let him get through to me.

****

I stayed in my room sulking for hours, wondering if it all never happened that way.... What If mom didn't pass away. What If Chloe was loyal. What If Dad could just focus on us and act like mom's death isn't affecting us all. Maybe, my life wouldn't always revolve around my computer and headphones. Now... Magnus... sigh. Piece of shit.

I accidentally knocked my laptop over and of course the screen had to crack. I picked it up in frustration and placed it back on the desk I normally use for studying. Actually, I use it for the laptop mostly but we can all agree it's a study table.

The thought of repeating another year with Mr. Phillips was unbearable. I had to catch up on everything I'd missed, and fast. Exams are approaching slowly but surely and it's my only ticket to the university. I gathered my notebook and math textbooks, determined to tackle the daunting task ahead.

But as I delved into the world of equations and theorems, my frustration grew. Math had a way of making me feel like I was hitting a brick wall, and my anger eventually gave way to exhaustion. I must have dozed off, overwhelmed by the complexity of it all. Math had a cruel way of making you feel like an idiot, and I was no exception. In short, I. am. cooked.

When I finally opened my eyes, my phone kept buzzing. I writhed before peeking at the phone to see a call from Magnus. You already know I didn't pick the call. When the call ended, I glanced at the phone to see... "9pm!" Fuck. How long was I asleep for? Whatever. It really doesn't matter at this point. Hope those two copies are in bed already. "I better check on them,"

I opened their bedroom door and found them awake with some toys. "Aren't you girls supposed to be in bed?" 

Emily and Sydney sprang up in surprise, and I stifled a laugh as Sydney tripped over the scattered clothes in her haste to reach the bed.

"Jeez, I thought you were Dad!" Sydney exclaimed, prompting Emily to burst into laughter. I couldn't resist joining in, and soon the three of us were laughing together. I peeked over at their collection to view their Jenga blocks stacked on each other to form a tower.

"You guys playing jenga?" 

"Mm-hmm," Emily hummed. "We were about taking the blocks apart before you walked in."

"Wanna join?" Sydney inquired. Those eyes looked too excited for me to join so I can't really be the no fun monster today. Plus, I don't get to spend time with them much, so, I'm guessing this would be an opportunity to reconnect with them. 

"Sure. Who's first?" I sat down on the floor stacking the blocks on top of each other carefully. 

Sydney's lips curled upwards, a radiant smile spreading across her face. "I'm surprised you joined us. I thought you were gonna keep your title for a long time."

I rolled my eyes, a faint smile formed on my lips, and replied briefly. "A title you give me can stick if it's worth my while."

This feels nice. Too bad tomorrow has a different story to tell. I'd rather just relish this moment than think about that right now.

Emily decided to call dibs on first player. "I go first!"