Garrett - Intended Only For Foot Traffic

Intended only for foot traffic, and not much of that, the bridge which crossed Hell King Hades' Cut nearest to Plum Terrace Palace and Watchtower Thirty Eight combined stone extensions from the walls with a central segment of wood and rope. It was a long way down, but Garrett was good about keeping his mind on other things. There were plenty of other things to think about.

The path ahead included the small risk of a titanic eruption. 

The ramp down from Watchtower Thirty Eight was not literally under the tower, but it was part of a complex which included the tower and barracks. The complex boasted a lot of height but not a big footprint. To get from the bridge to the ramp would require navigating a maze of corridors. Garrett considered it unlikely he would run into anyone he was close with at the watchtower. If he did, it was unlikely – but not impossible – that person would know enough to say something foolish.

Any incident involving the Empress was so sensitive, no one would talk about it in public. Resk had a big mouth, however, and kept it moving at all times. He was also the type to know things. He knew about Princess Iba Algi and Renjie's tea parties. Garrett was leading a procession which included royalty and several high status engineers from the Ministry of Works.

Even Resk….

It was best not to think about problematic people. 

Problematic people had a way of picking up vibrations and appearing exactly when they were least welcome. A moment after Garrett experienced that thought, the lanky old corporal emerged from a side corridor, put his arm around Garrett's waist, and wished everyone good afternoon with the oily, almost serpentine, charm common to problematic people from the Meng River Valley.

"My delicious lambchop has returned!" he said.

Everyone blinked.

"How delicious is he?" asked the Fourth Prince. "What spices are best for making him even more delicious?"

Resk dropped to the ground and pretended he hadn't realized a member of the royal family was present.

"Your Highness," he said, "this lambchop is best served in his own juice."

"Right," said Garrett. "There is only so much daylight in a day. All of it could be wasted talking to a man like this."

He gestured for the procession to continue. Almost everyone got going. It was true that there was only so much daylight in a day – and they were looking for the God of War. The Fourth Prince, however, hesitated. The worst possible outcome was becoming increasingly likely. Bon Bao picked the imp up and carried him along.

Resk inhaled for another run of the mouth. 

Garrett stabbed him in the back with a finger. The corporal had always been Garrett's superior when it came to Jade Wall Iron Fist. He was particularly notorious for his skill with using acupressure finger strikes to disable his favorite cutiepies. Nothing too terrible ever happened. Resk insisted that he only disabled cutiepies to demonstrate the importance of practice. Garrett's thrice-daily practice routines in Plum Terrace Palace had turned the tables. His strike was perfect. The corporal tried to cry out in shock and pain, but could only collapse forward on the stone and await fondling.

The procession filed past him.

Garrett crouched down and grabbed the dirty old corporal's butt.

"The risk you would have said something requiring you to die was too high," he said.

Resk fought for words. Getting up before that happened, Garrett hurried the procession along from behind – issuing instructions until they reached the ramp.

Then he moved up to the front again.

"You have to teach me that finger strike," said Bon Bao. "Lambchop."

"Delicious Lambchop," said Marakiri.

"We need independent confirmation of his deliciousness," said Renjie.

"I confirm that he's delicious," said Bon Bao.

"What?" cried the Fourth Prince.

"This won't do," said Marakiri. "Your Highness, you cannot allow your concubines to be more familiar with one another's deliciousness than you. It is imperative that you lay down firm rules and hard discipline."

"How firm?" asked Renjie. "How hard?"

"Very firm," said Marakiri. "Very hard."

"Have mercy, Your Highness," said Bon Bao. "He had a little accident during chest exercises."

"We're walking," said Garrett.

It was a long way down the spiral ramp.

"That was fun!" said Marakiri. "But I don't fancy the walk back up."

The bottom of Hell King Hades' Cut was a strip of short trees and rocky soil pressed between cliffs. It was as if Jade Palace Mound had fallen on something even harder than it, split open, and pulled apart. Over millennia, water washed rubble down the sides of the cliffs and along the floor of the ravine. Trees and brush grew, died, and accumulated as gravelly soil. Every now and then, extraordinary rainfall produced flash floods that mixed everything up.

Extraordinary rainfall was not expected that day.

Fed by water percolating through the granite monolith, a shallow stream ran constantly through the Cut's deepest parts. Actually, there were two streams. One ran north; and one ran south. A mound closer to the southern exit separated them. The path was at best a jagged line of exposed rock where vegetation had failed to take root.

The door they wanted was across the stream from the path. Crossing the stream was not difficult. Getting everyone down to it required teamwork. The door lay in a semi-circular depression full of pebbles and other miscellaneous alluvium.

"When you said half buried," said Bon Bao.

"I said maybe a bit more than half," insisted Renjie.

"What you actually meant was completely buried," said Bon Bao.

"You can plainly see there is a door there!" said Renjie.

"If we open the door," said Marakiri, "that might save us from digging it out."

"How do we open the door without digging?" asked Garrett.

"Someone will have to dig a bit," she said. "But I suspect there is water behind that door."

The Ministry of Works engineers agreed. But if so, then the person opening the door – everyone looked at Bon Bao – would be trapped between a pit of alluvium and water under pressure.

"Won't it be exciting?" asked Marakiri, excitedly.

A diminutive Warakirikoban celebrating a muscle hunk's fate was cute.

"But I can't lose my bubble-bottomed Bon Bao just to save the world!" said the Fourth Prince.

"Bubble Bottom thanks His Highness," said Bon Bao.

Bon Bao flexed.

"But there's no need to worry," he said. "I'm amazing. A little water won't stop me."

"How much water are we talking about?" asked Garrett.

"A sideways column as wide as the door," said Marakiri. "It will blast out with enough force to clear all that dirt and gravel. At first, there will be a huge jet pointed straight up. Then over time it will wash away layers until it all drains out."

"Will it all drain out?" asked Renjie. "Or will we have a pool?"

"There might be some standing water," said Marakiri. "But I'm confident that beneath the alluvium is a draining channel. We may be at the bottom of Hell King Hades' Cut, but we're still a couple hundred feet above the surrounding plains."

"About this jet pointed straight up," said Bon Bao.

"Yes!" said Marakiri. "The pressurized water will emerge from the passage, slam into the wall of alluvium, and deflect upward."

"So if I was between the alluvium and the water," said Bon Bao.

"Well…," said Marakiri. "You'd probably be pulverized."

"I can't lose my bubble-bottomed Bon Bao just to save the world!" said the Fourth Prince.

"If I had a way not to be pulverized," said Bon Bao, "where would I go?"

"It's probable that if you had a means of keeping yourself from being pulverized," said Marakiri, "you would be thrown upward by the jet."

"In that scenario," said Garrett, "wouldn't Bubble Bottom be swept away by the torrent?"

"Oh no!" said Renjie.

"Delicious Lambchop's concern touches my heart," said Bon Bao. "But bubbles float."

"Wonderful!" clapped Marakiri. "If, in addition to a means of keeping yourself from being pulverized, you also have a means of floating, then you would probably be slammed against that cliff over there. The forces involved would be… less pulverizing than those in the first instance of pulverization."

"Floating and pulverization avoidance mechanisms are the same," said Bon Bao.

"Splendid!" said Marakiri.

"How do we recover Bubble Bottom?" asked Garrett.

"Once he's been slammed against the cliff," said Marakiri, "I can recover him. That will be almost trivial on account of his floating."

"You're absolutely positive you can recover my Bon Bao?" asked Renjie.

"Positive!" insisted the hydromancer. "Absolutely!"

"Outstanding!" said Renjie. "I guess the plan now would be to dig deep enough into the alluvium for Bubble Bottom to reach the weird circle in the door."

"Assuming there is one," said Bon Bao.

"I'm confident," said Renjie. "But won't it take us a long time?"

The lead engineer insisted that digging wouldn't be a problem. Before crossing from Plum Terrace Palace to Watchtower Thirty Eight, he put in a requisition for prison labor. Ten or fifteen minutes later, the requisitioned laborers arrived from the direction of Tianming Town's prisons. Quick surveys were made. Staging areas sheltered from falling rocks were established. Digging began. Digging was what prison labor did better and more often than anything else except sex, and the alluvium was not packed hard. When the prison foreman reported finding a feature in the door matching the drawing he had been provided, everyone retreated to the safe staging area.

Bon Bao jumped down into the pit.

"What if there's no water?" asked Garrett.

Marakiri shrugged.

"Then it won't be much fun," she said, "but we'll still get inside."

There was water. A whole hell of a lot of water. Events proceeded as the hydromancer had predicted. An incredible jet of water shot straight up into the air. Encased in a glowing topaz bubble, Bon Bao flew slightly higher than the jet. He then fell into a raging torrent. The torrent slammed him against the cliff.

Then the water started acting strangely.

A ring of it rose around Bon Bao's bubble – and continued rising until it was higher than the boiling swells of muddy water surging everywhere. The ring moved toward the staging ground. When he reached it, Bon Bao rolled his bubble onto the ground, dropped the bubble – and flexed.

Everyone, including the prison labor, cheered.

"My bubble-bottomed Bon Bao is amazing!" said Renjie.