CHAPTER/10

When I got home, I immediately went to my room. Looking at my reflection in the large mirror on top of my wardrobe, I barely recognized myself. The clothes I was wearing felt so alien, like they belonged to someone else entirely. It was as if the person staring back at me wasn't Merve. Thinking about my old self filled me with disgust. Those clothes had stolen my family from me. How could I yearn for them now? It would be such an injustice to my parents. If none of this had happened, my mom and dad would still be by my side. We'd be celebrating my graduation, and maybe my dad would surprise me with the car I had always wanted.

Speaking of cars, Furkan's wasn't bad at all. Don't let me fool you with my modesty—it was a sleek black Audi Q3. It seemed he had a taste for the kind of cars I liked. But why hadn't I seen him before? He lived just two streets away, and I'd walked down that street countless times. Surely, I'd have noticed him.

As much as I tried to act indifferent, deep down, if there was even a small chance of getting what I wanted, I'd jump at it.

By the way, how long had I been standing in front of this mirror? Snapping out of my thoughts, I opened my wardrobe, changed into something more comfortable, and headed downstairs.

I made myself a snack, plopped onto the couch, and turned on the TV. Mindlessly flipping through channels, I bit into my bread. I wasn't much of a TV person, but there wasn't much else to do in this big, empty house. Finally settling on a channel, I watched a movie. Once it ended, I cleaned up, loading the plates and glasses into the dishwasher. When I checked the time, it was 9:05 PM. I wasn't sleepy at all.

I wondered what Büşra was up to. Grabbing my phone, I called her. She picked up on the second ring.

"What's up, baby?" she drawled lazily, her tone dripping with playfulness.

"Ugh, Büşra, cut the nonsense. Are you home?"

Loneliness? Ask me about it. I could describe it in excruciating detail.

"Alright, alright, let's be serious. Yes, I'm home. Come over if you want." She laughed, the clown as always.

"I'm so bored. Want to do something? Like, I don't know… maybe visit Furkan?" I muttered the last part under my breath.

"Yeah, same here. My folks aren't home either; I'm all alone." Of course, I wasn't serious about Furkan.

"Okay, should I come to you, or will you come here?" There was a brief silence.

"I've got a better idea," she said, a mischievous edge in her voice.

"Oh boy, what now?" I asked warily.

"Let's go out!" It wasn't the most original idea, but it was better than nothing.

"Fine by me. Get ready. I'll meet you outside." Her exaggerated kiss sound grated on my ears, making me grimace.

"Alright, babe." Rolling my eyes, I ended the call with a sigh.

Heading back to my room, I grabbed a pair of white jeans and a sleeveless mint green shirt from my wardrobe. After pulling my hair into a tight ponytail, I was ready to go. I slipped on my white sneakers, grabbed my bag, and stepped out the door. Dialing Büşra's number, I saw her decline the call. Looking towards her house, I spotted her stepping out.

I froze, wide-eyed at her outfit: a deep-necked red bustier paired with black leather shorts, her hair in a high ponytail, and light smoky makeup. Where on earth were we going for her to dress like this? I had to ask.

"What's with the getup?" She twirled like a little girl.

"Don't I look amazing? He won't be able to take his eyes off me," she said, her tone oozing confidence.

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?" I was utterly clueless about her intentions.

"Brace yourself. Melike called me just before you did. She told me Volkan's at the bar, acting all relaxed for once. There are even girls with him," she said, her voice tinged with irritation.

"Are we going there?" I asked, trying to make sense of her fiery gaze.

"Exactly. I'm going to make him regret ever being born. He'll drop his jaw when he sees me, but of course, I won't give him the time of day."

Her determination wasn't surprising, but I wasn't sure she'd thought this through.

"Büşra, are you sure? Don't do something you'll regret!" I cautioned, watching her face fall slightly.

"Merve, please. I can't do this alone. I need your support," she pleaded.

"And what if your parents come home? How will you explain this outfit?" I tried to reason, though my excuses were admittedly weak.

"Relax! I'll just say I'm staying over at your place. I've had these clothes forever anyway. Now tell me, are you in or not?"

Leaving her alone didn't sit right with me. After all, I could at least keep an eye on her.

"Alright, fine. But only because I don't want to leave you by yourself. I don't agree with what you're doing."

She leaped at me in excitement. "I knew you wouldn't abandon me, my amazing friend!"

"Alright, alright. Let's grab a cab and go."

She smirked mischievously, and I instantly regretted agreeing.

"What cab? Not when we have a car!"

"What car?" I asked suspiciously as she pulled me toward the garage.

"Come and see, baby!" She flipped on the lights, revealing a sleek black Corvette C7. My jaw dropped.

"Is this…?"

"My dad's new toy," she said smugly.

"You're not thinking what I am, are you?" No matter how passionately I gazed at him, I wasn't as reckless as he was.

"Oh, sweetheart, that's exactly what I'm thinking." I needed to get back to reality—there was a way things should be done.

"Absolutely not. This is madness." I put on my most serious face to make him understand I wasn't joking.

"Come on, Merve, do I need to remind you how good you are at driving? When will we ever get this chance again?"

Being the "right" person doesn't always work. As much as I denied it, I couldn't stop imagining myself behind the wheel. I gave in.

"Fine. Let's do it." My only wish was to not regret this by the end of the day.

"That's my girl!"

We jumped into the car and hit the road. Each time I pressed the gas pedal, I felt like I was flying. The steering seemed to move itself, smooth and effortless. My love for cars was all thanks to my dad, and I didn't complain about it. The only issue? If you're obsessed with cars but can't afford them all, it's a real tragedy. Each time I shifted gears, my heart raced.

"That's my girl!" Büşra's knack for hyping me up was unmatched. She turned up the music and started dancing in the passenger seat.

"Don't push me too far, girl. I'm barely keeping control as it is." I handed her my phone to enter the address. Not long after, we arrived.

"Looks like we're here." The GPS announcing our arrival instantly drained all the energy from Büşra.

"Alright, let me just park. Wait here."

I pulled the car into the bar's garage and we got out. As we passed through the entrance, I felt out of place, like I was suffocating. When Büşra suddenly stopped, I halted too. Her face turned rigid. Following her gaze, I saw a couple sitting close together. The girl was giggling while leaning into the guy, who didn't seem that interested.

"Are you okay?" I gently held her arm to turn her toward me. She gave me a bittersweet smile.

"I've been better."

"That…" I gestured toward the guy. "That's him, isn't it?"

She took a deep breath.

"Yeah, that's him." She rubbed her face with her hands.

"Calm down, friend." She started fixing her hair, her smirk widening.

"Let's go teach him a lesson." Her sudden mood swings terrified me.

"What are we going to do?" Shaking my head in disapproval, I followed her.

"Just watch me." We sat at a nearby table. The place felt more like a nightclub than a bar. As I noticed someone approaching me, I turned to him.

"Hey there, gorgeous." Was he talking to me?

"Yes, you. Though I guess it's fair you didn't catch on. That outfit might be a bit too sweet for a place like this."

If someone could remove this smug grin from his face, it'd be a huge favor. He just wouldn't stop talking, even though I wasn't responding.

"Cut it out and leave our table, will you?" The flirtatious look on his face turned sinister.

"Fiery and sweet—my favorite combination." His persistence was nauseating. My disgust must've been obvious from my expression.

"Enough! Get lost already." Slamming my hand on the table in anger seemed to work. He got up, albeit reluctantly.

"Alright, alright, calm down. I'm leaving. But if you miss me, I'll be at that table over there."

He pointed to a nearby table before sauntering off with an exaggerated wink. What idiots men could be. Even Furkan? I rolled my eyes at my inner voice and turned back to find Büşra grinning ear to ear.

"What are you laughing at?" Her amusement only fueled my irritation.

"What was that all about?" Shaking off the incident, I focused on the task at hand. I wanted to be done with this place and leave.

"Forget it. What are you planning to do?" I could hear the sadness in her voice despite her shrug.

"Nothing. He didn't even notice me." I needed to cut this short.

"Not to meddle, but how about you go get us something to drink? You'll walk past him, so he'll have to notice you." Her eyes lit up at my suggestion.

"You're brilliant. What do you want?" She was like a child. I realized I'd never seen her like this before.

"Cherry juice." She nodded excitedly and rushed off.

When she left, I found myself alone. That guy was still looking at me, raising his drink as if to toast me before downing it in one go. Did he think he was cool or something?

When Büşra returned and handed me a glass, her eyes were teary.

"What's wrong, Büşra?" I turned to her, concerned.

"He didn't even notice me. He was too busy with the girl beside him." I pulled her into a big hug, letting her lean on me.

"Do you love him that much?" I stroked her back gently, coaxing her to look at me.

"Yes. Unfortunately, yes." Though she cried quietly, I could feel the storm inside her.

"Come on, let's wash your face and leave. Your makeup's smudged." She silently followed my lead to the restroom, where we freshened up. She seemed better.

Her phone buzzed, and she answered it.

"Hello?"

"…Yes, we're here, but nothing happened. Actually, nothing happened."

"…"

"She's here?"

"…"

"Alright, let me ask Merve."

She covered the phone and turned to me.

"Melike's here. She wants to join us. Is that okay with you?" After a moment of thought, I nodded.

"Sure, that's fine." She smiled and returned to her call.

"Alright, come over. We're waiting."

After hanging up, she started walking back inside. I grabbed her arm and stopped her.

"Are you sure you don't want to leave?" She paused as if considering, then shook her head.

"No, I don't. I need to face this sooner or later, don't I?"

I nodded, though I wasn't entirely convinced.

"Alright then. Let's go."

She took my arm and led me back inside. About ten minutes after we sat down, Melike arrived. She hugged Büşra, then turned to me, clearly shy.

"When did you two get so close?" I glanced between them.

"Since the Volkan incident," Büşra replied, and Melike took over.

"I've known Volkan for ages. We weren't that close, but we were friends for a while."

Before she could continue, Volkan interrupted.

"Büşra, what are you doing here? I saw you earlier but couldn't believe it."

He'd come to interrogate her, it seemed.

"What do you mean, 'what are you doing here'? Did you reserve the place without telling us?" Her voice trembled as she tried to sound confident.

"I won't ask why you're acting like this; you're right. But could you at least hear me out?" Melike and I stayed silent, observing.

"What's there to hear? You're ruining my night."

His forced nonchalance gave him away.

"Don't, Büşra. It's obvious you came here for me."

Before I could stop myself, I snapped.

"Hey!"

Büşra gently lowered my pointing finger and addressed him calmly.

"Wait a minute, Merve. Sit down, Volkan." What was she up to now? Volkan, surprisingly, obeyed and sat. He even looked a bit sad.

"I missed you. Can you forgive me?" Büşra placed her hand on his face, staring deeply into his eyes.

"Why did you do it? I trusted you." Her voice was starting to break.

"I was scared, Büşra. I was drunk, out of control. When I came to my senses, I felt awful—like a dog. I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me."

Büşra leaned in closer. No, she couldn't forgive him this easily. Could she? She placed her other hand on his face without saying a word. Volkan's eyes lit up with hope. Then she leaned in and kissed his cheek lightly.

"You're sorry, huh? Fool."

Before we knew it, Büşra slapped him hard across the face.

"I'm not sorry for this, though. Girls, let's go!"

Neither Melike nor I said a word as we followed her out. Büşra was crying, so I wrapped my arms around her. Sometimes words don't fit the moment, and this was one of those times.

But then we heard a voice behind us. It was Volkan. He stood there, looking at us with teary eyes but no anger.

"Büşra…" His voice cracked as he tilted his head slightly, his gaze fixed on her.

"Girls, let's go." Her voice was shaky but firm.

"I love you," he said, loud enough for her to hear.

Though visibly startled, Büşra didn't turn back. She simply walked toward the car and continued speaking.

"Merve! Unlock the car."

I did as she asked, pulling out the keys and unlocking the car. Melike turned to leave.

"Melike, come on. Get in."

She hesitated, but I insisted.

"Don't expect me to repeat myself. Just get in already."

She sent a bittersweet smile and got into the car. Büşra had already taken her seat, and Volkan was still waiting. Once I got in, I started the engine. As we drove away, Büşra glanced back. I reached out and held her hand.

"Calm down, my dear." She turned to me with a smile, as much as she could muster.

"It's so hard, Merve. When he said that word, I didn't know what to do. I just felt like jumping on his neck." I caressed the back of her hand and kept my eyes on the road.

"I understand, my dear." She wiped her eyes and tried to smile again, but it was only an attempt. I knew her too well; she was trying to convince herself she was fine.

"Well, it'll pass eventually. Anyway, forget about me. What are we doing? The night is still young." She was doing it again, running away from her feelings.

"Are you serious?" She quickly wiped away her tears.

"Of course! Let's go to the beach. We can sit by the water." If she wanted us to ignore it, I'd give her what she wanted.

"If that'll make you feel better, then let's go." I turned the car around and headed to the beach.

"I'll get off here. Maybe you two would prefer to hang out alone," Melike said from the back.

I glanced at her through the rearview mirror, then turned to Büşra. She looked at me, and I knew what she was thinking. I didn't mind. I smiled to show I was okay with it. She blew me a kiss in return.

"If you're free, join us, Melike."

"Oh, no, I don't want to intrude. You two probably have things to talk about," Melike replied. It was my turn to speak.

"You can come along." I knew she felt hesitant around me.

"Sure, and that way, we can get to know each other better—officially, I mean," Büşra said with her usual playful kitten eyes.

"Don't make me cry now." She pouted, and I couldn't help but laugh at her theatrics. My laughter made Melike giggle as well.

"I think you should come, Melike. Clearly, she's not going to take no for an answer," I added.

"Fine, I'll come then."

Büşra clapped her hands like a child, then playfully punched my shoulder. "I hereby declare today the Day of the Carefree!"

"The carefree?" Melike and I asked in unison. What was that supposed to mean?

"Yes! We'll be carefree about everyone and everything. Got it, girls?"

Her declaration made me laugh, and soon, they joined in. When we arrived at the beach, I parked the car. We got out and moved to a spot close to the water. Büşra removed her shoes and dipped her feet into the sea. Melike did the same.

"Come on, Merve. Join us," Büşra called.

I shook my head and scrunched my nose. "Me? No thanks."

She spread her arms wide and gestured for me to come. "Don't be a spoilsport. Come on!"

She was crazy, this girl! But I gave in, removing my shoes and rolling up my pants. The water was freezing, but somehow, it felt refreshing. After lingering for a while, we sat on the shore, leaning back to gaze at the sky. I turned to look at Melike. When our eyes met, I quickly looked away. I didn't know why, but I always felt like I could trust her.

"Come on, let's play a game," Büşra said suddenly. What was she planning now?

"What game?" I asked, curiosity creeping in. But as expected, she didn't answer right away.

"I won't tell you. Just agree to play, and I'll explain." She shook her shoulders like a child.

"Isn't this our day? I'm in," Melike said.

I turned to her and shook my head. "Melike, you're walking into dangerous waters. With Büşra, you have to think ten times before agreeing to anything."

Büşra grabbed my arm and pulled me up. "Oh, come on, Merve. Get over here."

With no other choice, I joined them. Büşra stood up and looked around. Her eyes lit up when she spotted something. She came back holding a bottle.

"Don't tell me we're playing 'Truth or Dare,'" I said.

"Of course not! We're way past that age. Plus, it's too cliché. I've got a much crazier idea. Listen up: the bottle points to someone, and that person has to answer a question. But here's the twist—if you don't want to answer, you have to jump into the sea."

Oh, great. What kind of madness was this? Normally, I'd refuse, but I didn't want to be the buzzkill.

"Fine," I agreed.

She looked genuinely shocked. "I can't believe this, Merve! You agreed without arguing!"

I just rolled my eyes at her reaction.

"I'm in too," Melike said, ready for whatever was coming.

"Alright then, let's start."

Büşra spun the bottle. Around and around it went until it stopped—on me. Of course. Just my luck.

"Well, well, I wasn't expecting that. Let's start with a bang," she said, rubbing her hands together.

She stretched her arms out dramatically. "Merve Yılmaz, I have a question I've been dying to ask, and you must answer truthfully."

Here we go. I already regretted agreeing.

She placed her hand over her heart and began, "Two sleepovers at his place, two times watching his door, and one moment of tripping over your own feet when you saw him—this boy, Furkan Solmaz. What does he mean to you?"