Chapter 56: “The Chicken Crown (or: I Accidentally Became a King)”

After the wild nugget-filled feast with the Chicken Cult, Kazuya and his gang finally managed to sneak out of the Coop of Destiny… but not before Fergus stuffed his pockets with every nugget he could carry.

"I don't trust these people," Sylvara muttered as they trudged down the road. "They worship fried chicken."

Fergus waved a drumstick in her face. "And you call that a problem? This is the best cult ever!"

Kazuya sighed, still sticky from barbecue sauce. "I need a bath. A long one. Preferably without any more chicken-related disasters."

"Too bad!" Fergus yelled, pointing ahead. "Because here comes another one!"

Welcome to Cluckington

They rounded a bend and found themselves standing in front of a grand castle. But instead of the usual banners and flags, this castle had…

Giant chicken statues. Everywhere.

"Why," Kazuya groaned, "is everything in this world obsessed with chickens?!"

A guard approached, bowing deeply. "Your Majesty, you've returned!"

"Wait, what?" Kazuya blinked. "Who's the king?"

"You are, of course!" the guard said, gesturing to Kazuya's ridiculous chicken-themed outfit. "The prophecy foretold that the Chicken King would arrive wearing the sacred feathers!"

Kazuya looked down at himself.

"Oh gods… not again."

The Coronation Ceremony

Before he could protest, Kazuya was whisked inside the castle and forced into a golden throne shaped like a giant egg.

The court jester pranced around in a feathered costume, juggling actual chickens. "Long live the Chicken King!"

The villagers chanted, "BAWK BAWK BAWK! LONG LIVE THE KING!"

Sylvara leaned over, whispering. "How do you always end up in these situations?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Kazuya hissed. "It's like the universe hates me!"

A priest approached, holding a crown shaped like a fried drumstick. "We must crown you, Your Majesty."

"Please don't."

"Too late!"

Before Kazuya could escape, the priest plopped the drumstick crown onto his head.

"There," the priest said proudly. "You are now the ruler of Cluckington."

"Fantastic," Kazuya deadpanned. "I'm the Chicken King."

Royal Duties (Gone Horribly Wrong)

As the new king, Kazuya was immediately bombarded with royal tasks.

First up: The Royal Chicken Dance.

"Absolutely not," Kazuya said, crossing his arms.

The court gasped.

"But it's tradition!" the priest wailed. "The king must perform the dance to bless the harvest!"

Kazuya groaned. "Fine. What do I have to do?"

The jester handed him a pair of oversized chicken feet slippers and a tambourine.

"Dance, Your Majesty!"

Kazuya stood in the middle of the hall, flapping his arms and shuffling his feet in the most awkward, half-hearted chicken dance imaginable.

Sylvara snorted, covering her mouth to hide her laughter.

Nerissa wasn't as subtle. She was rolling on the floor, cackling. "This… this is the greatest thing I've ever seen!"

"Don't laugh!" Kazuya snapped. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

"I am," Nerissa wheezed. "But I'm also enjoying this WAY too much."

Meanwhile, Fergus…

While Kazuya suffered through his new royal duties, Fergus had taken it upon himself to explore the castle's kitchen.

"Ohhh, what's this?" Fergus found a massive pot labeled "Cluckington's Secret Recipe" and immediately dunked his hand in.

"Not bad," he mumbled, licking his fingers. "Could use more salt, though."

Just as he was about to grab a second helping, the head chef stormed in.

"THAT'S FOR THE KING!"

Fergus froze, hand still in the pot. "Uh… I'm the king's official food taster?"

The chef glared. "Prove it."

Fergus grabbed a spoon, took a giant bite, and immediately collapsed to the floor, clutching his stomach.

"TOO SPICY!"

The Great Escape

Back in the throne room, Kazuya had finally had enough.

"I'm done," he declared, ripping off the drumstick crown. "I am NOT the Chicken King!"

The villagers gasped.

"But the prophecy—"

"Forget the prophecy!" Kazuya shouted. "I don't want to rule a kingdom of chickens. I just want to go home, take a bath, and never eat another nugget in my life!"

Sylvara smirked. "Are you sure? You make a pretty cute king."

Kazuya shot her a withering glare. "Not helping."

Just then, Fergus burst into the hall, still clutching his stomach.

"GUYS… WE NEED TO LEAVE. NOW."

"Why?" Nerissa asked.

"Because I may have accidentally insulted the chef, and he's VERY mad."

As if on cue, the doors burst open, and the chef stormed in, wielding a giant rolling pin.

"GET THEM!"

"RUN!"

The Final Chase

The gang sprinted through the castle, dodging guards, chefs, and angry villagers.

"I swear," Kazuya panted, "if we survive this, I'm banning all chicken-related quests."

"You'll have to fight Fergus on that one," Sylvara teased.

Fergus, still clutching a half-eaten drumstick, grinned. "Never! Chicken is life!"

They burst through the castle gates and into the forest, finally collapsing in a heap of exhaustion.

As they caught their breath, Kazuya looked at his companions.

"Can we all agree to never speak of this again?"

Sylvara smirked. "Agreed. But…"

"But what?"

She leaned in close, a mischievous glint in her eye. "You did look pretty cute doing the chicken dance."

Kazuya groaned, burying his face in his hands. "I hate you all."