Chapter 61: “The Ice Cream Machine of Doom (That’s Always Broken)”

After barely surviving their encounter with the Nugget Overlord, our heroes had just one question on their minds.

"Why is the ice cream machine always broken?" Fergus asked as he stared at the holographic Ronald McKingdom. "Seriously, HOW? I NEED ANSWERS."

Kazuya groaned. "Do we really have to do this?"

Sylvara crossed her arms. "Think about it, Kazuya. If we solve this mystery, we'll become legends. Imagine it: The Chosen Ones Who Fixed the Ice Cream Machine."

Kazuya shook his head. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

But Fergus was already hyped. "It's like chasing the Holy Grail, except… colder."

Nerissa smirked. "And milkier."

Everyone stared at her.

"What? It's true."

Arriving at the McKingdom Factory

The group found themselves standing in front of a giant factory with a giant, terrifying clown face as the entrance.

"WHY does it have to be clowns?" Kazuya muttered. "I hate clowns."

"Don't be a baby," Sylvara teased. "It's just a building."

The clown's mouth opened wide, revealing a dark tunnel.

"Okay, nope," Kazuya said, turning around. "Nope, nope, nope."

But before he could escape, a giant hand made of fries grabbed him and yanked him inside.

"AHHHH! THE FRIES HAVE ME!"

Inside the Factory of Broken Dreams

The inside of the factory was pure chaos. Conveyor belts carried half-melted ice cream cones, while robots with clown faces wandered around, muttering things like:

"Error 404: Flavor Not Found."

"Machine offline. Please try again in 10 years."

Fergus pointed at one of the robots. "See?! It's a conspiracy! They don't WANT us to have ice cream!"

Nerissa gasped. "It's worse than I thought. This is a dessert dystopia."

Sylvara grabbed a passing robot. "Why is the machine always broken?"

The robot twitched. "Because… we are… powered by sadness."

Everyone blinked.

"Wait, what?" Kazuya asked.

"Sadness," the robot repeated. "Ice cream machines run on the tears of disappointed customers."

Nerissa snorted. "That actually makes sense."

The Boss Fight: Karen, Queen of Complaints

Suddenly, the lights flickered, and a chilling voice echoed through the factory.

"Who dares try to fix the ice cream machine?"

A shadowy figure emerged from the darkness, her hair styled in a perfect Karen bob. She wore a t-shirt that read: "Can I Speak to Your Manager?"

"It's HER," Sylvara whispered. "The ultimate boss… Karen, Queen of Complaints."

Karen snapped her fingers, and an army of angry Yelp reviewers surrounded the group.

"You think you can fix the ice cream machine?" Karen sneered. "Not on MY watch. I've left one-star reviews across the land. This machine stays broken FOREVER."

Kazuya rolled his eyes. "Of course it's a Karen. Why wouldn't it be?"

The Most Ridiculous Battle Ever

Karen pointed a perfectly manicured finger at Kazuya. "You look like a manager. Prepare to be verbally assaulted."

Fergus stepped forward bravely. "Not today, Karen! We've got something you can't resist…"

He pulled out a "Limited-Time Pumpkin Spice Shake."

Karen's eyes widened. "Impossible! Those were discontinued years ago!"

Fergus smirked. "We brought it back. And if you want it, you'll have to fix the machine."

Karen snarled. "NEVER!"

She unleashed her most powerful attack: "Passive-Aggressive Yelp Review!"

A giant review screen appeared above her head, displaying:

"I'm not mad, just disappointed. 1/5 stars."

Kazuya clutched his heart. "Emotional damage!"

The Final Twist

Just when all hope seemed lost, Sylvara stepped forward with a sly grin.

"Karen, Karen, Karen… you forgot one thing."

Karen narrowed her eyes. "And what's that?"

Sylvara held up a "Buy One Get One Free" coupon.

Karen gasped. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I dare," Sylvara said, tossing the coupon into the air like a ninja star.

Karen lunged for it, but the moment she grabbed it, the coupon exploded in a burst of confetti and glitter.

"Noooooo! Coupons are my weakness!" Karen shrieked as she dissolved into a puddle of expired milkshake mix.

The Ice Cream Machine… Fixed?

The group stood in front of the factory's main console. A single button blinked: "Fix Machine."

Kazuya raised an eyebrow. "That's it? We just press a button?"

Fergus shrugged. "Seems too easy."

Kazuya pressed it anyway. The factory whirred to life, and a voice announced:

"Congratulations! The ice cream machine is now… still broken. Please try again later."

Everyone groaned.

"Of course," Kazuya muttered. "Of course it's still broken."

The End… Or Is It?

As they left the factory, a mysterious figure watched them from the shadows, holding a Soft Serve Scepter.

"Soon," the figure whispered. "The Ice Cream Wars will begin…"