Chapter 170: “Toast Titan and the Crumbs of Catastrophe”

The gang trudged out of the Valley of Batter, leaving behind the steaming waffle wasteland and heading toward their next absurd destination: the Bakery of Doom. Sylvara, holding the Holy Waffle Iron, glanced at the group as they walked along the winding trail.

"Does anyone else think we're living in someone's fever dream?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Someone's very hungry fever dream," Kazuya muttered, wiping remnants of batter from his boots.

Quackleton, waddling proudly at the front of the group, honked excitedly as they approached their destination. In the distance, the towering structure of the Bakery of Doom came into view. It was a grand edifice made entirely of bread, with croissants spiraling up like turrets and baguettes forming the walls. The aroma of freshly baked goods wafted through the air, both comforting and foreboding.

"Is it me, or does that look like it could collapse at the slightest sneeze?" Ravynne asked, eyeing the unstable-looking bread fortress.

"Let's hope the Toast Titan isn't a heavy breather," Sylvara quipped.

Entering the Bakery

As they reached the entrance, the gang was greeted by a massive wooden door adorned with carvings of bread slices. A plaque above it read: "Abandon your carb-free diets, all ye who enter here."

Kazuya pushed the door open, revealing a cavernous interior filled with shelves of bread. Loaves of every kind lined the walls, but as they stepped inside, the door slammed shut behind them. The bread shelves began to rattle ominously.

"Uh, does anyone else feel like the bread's watching us?" Kazuya whispered.

"Don't be ridiculous," Sylvara said, though she also gave a wary glance at a particularly crusty sourdough loaf.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake, and from the center of the bakery, a massive figure emerged. Standing at least twenty feet tall, the Toast Titan was a monstrous humanoid made entirely of toast, its eyes glowing with fiery butter. In one hand, it held a giant butter knife, and in the other, a shield made of burnt toast.

"WHO DARES ENTER THE BAKERY OF DOOM?" the Toast Titan roared, its voice crackling like popping bread in a toaster. "PREPARE TO BE BUTTERED!"

Battle of the Loaves

The gang barely had time to react as the Titan hurled slices of razor-sharp toast at them. Kazuya ducked, narrowly avoiding a slice that embedded itself into the wall behind him.

"I don't know what's worse," he shouted, "the fact that we're fighting toast or the fact that it smells amazing!"

"Focus, Kazuya!" Sylvara yelled, dodging a barrage of toast shrapnel. "We need a plan!"

Ravynne, crouching behind an overturned baguette rack, pulled out her shield. "I've got an idea! Kazuya, distract it while I find its weak spot!"

"Distract it? With what?" Kazuya yelled.

"I don't know—say something stupid!" Ravynne shot back.

Kazuya groaned but stepped forward, waving his sword. "Hey, Toast Titan! Your crust is uneven, and you're about as intimidating as a burnt bagel!"

The Titan roared in rage, swinging its butter knife at Kazuya, who barely dodged in time. Meanwhile, Sylvara noticed a faint golden glow emanating from the Titan's center.

"The core!" she shouted. "Its weak spot is its core—the buttery center!"

Sylvara's Risky Plan

Sylvara quickly formulated a plan. She handed the Holy Waffle Iron to Quackleton, who waddled away to safety, and called out to the group. "We need to melt its buttery core! Smokey, get ready to unleash some heat!"

Smokey, the bacon dragon, let out an excited squeal, flapping his tiny wings. Ravynne created a diversion by hurling stale baguettes at the Titan, which clanged harmlessly off its toast armor.

Kazuya, meanwhile, climbed onto a shelf, leaping onto the Titan's shoulder. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered as he clung to its crispy surface. "This is the dumbest thing I've ever done."

As the Titan flailed, trying to swat him off, Kazuya managed to plunge his sword into the glowing core. "Now, Smokey!" he yelled.

Smokey unleashed a blast of sizzling bacon grease, which hit the core dead-on. The Titan let out a dramatic roar as its buttery center began to bubble and melt. Its toast body crumbled, falling to pieces around them.

Victory and a Crumbly Reward

When the dust settled, all that remained of the Titan was a single golden toaster, humming softly. The gang approached cautiously.

Sylvara picked up the toaster, examining its intricate designs. "Another artifact," she said, her voice tinged with awe. "The... uh... Divine Toaster?"

"Of course," Ravynne said, shaking her head. "Why not?"

As they left the bakery, Kazuya couldn't help but grin. "You know, I think we're getting pretty good at defeating breakfast monsters."

"Don't jinx it," Ravynne muttered. "There's probably a Coffee Kraken waiting for us next."

Quackleton honked in agreement, waddling ahead as the group prepared for their next ridiculous adventure.

To Be Continued...